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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited August 2008

    Karen, My grandfather would go for days with only eating a bite or two. Right before he died, there was an outbreak of the flu in the nursing home and visitors were restricted. They even had halls quarantined off but they let my grandmother leave her quarantined hall and go to grandpa's quarantined hall to spend some time with him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    I came in to work early to catch up on my orders before I left to meet Anne. Just 3.5 hours before I meet Anne W. I am picking her up at her fathers retirement community at 10:30 am. she said that she would be the young person with gray hair in front of the building, not all the old ladies with the blue rinsed white hair.

    sheila

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2008

    Karen, this is harder than going through cancer ourselves. It really does make you feel helpless. When my mother was dying, we just all gathered at the family home and took turns sitting with her, about two or three at a time. We slept in shifts in whatever bed was free. I had my then-five month old daughter with me; my five year old son was at home with his father because he had school.

    My husband called to complain that he had things to do other than take care of our son, so I left on Friday evening to go back into the city. My plan was to spend the night and return for the weekend with both children. My mother died very early Saturday morning before I had a chance to return. 

    But in the previous days, before she slipped into unconsciousness, she told us what clothes she wanted to be buried in, what jewelry she wanted to wear (nothing expensive), and listened to all our reminiscing. Often there was someone on the bed next to her, holding her hand or brushing her hair, doing whatever we could to relax her and make the transition easier for her.

    At first, she really fought hard and rallied a couple of times after a slide downwards. But since there was no miracle recovery to expect for a cancer as far gone and agressive as hers, we just prayed for acceptance and lack of pain.

    Her funeral was on April 1, April's Fool's Day, and I remember thinking, "If only this was some elaborate AFD joke, and she'd pop up and surprise us all."

    Hugs and prayers for strength and acceptance,

    Nancy 

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited August 2008

    Karen, my prayers and thoughts are with you and your family at this terribly hard time.

    Gentle hugs and love,

    Jane xxx

    PS - I will catch up with everyone's posts later. Love to you all 

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  • Ka-Loni
    Ka-Loni Member Posts: 431
    edited August 2008

    Hi Sue, Wow! You sound so good. It really is a wonderful feeling isn't it? The feeling that you can breath that fresh air. And, know you have such good friends around that love you. I am glad your going to Spain. I work with a friend, and, she is going to Spain in September. Sue just remember each day even gets better. It is really wierd. I love life now. It is very hard to explain. Someday I may right a book about it. Ha! Well enjoy your day there sweetie. Bye.

    God Bless,

    Love,Kaloni  Flowers 

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  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited August 2008

    Karen, without food, a long time, many days, as long as there is water.  He no doubt is being given IV's for that.

    I am so sorry, my dear girl, this is so hard.  I lost my mom when I was 60, and I cried like I was 3.  She was my best friend and I miss her still.

    God be with you and hold you tightly in His hands.

    Hugs, Shirlann 

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited August 2008

    Karen ....

    I am extremely heartbroken for you and your dad... I want you to know that you are in my heart...and I love you so much, I feel your pain it is so hard losing a parent, I am sending you all lots of prayers and love, please hold on .... I am always here for you xxx

    With all my love xxxx

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited August 2008

    You are all extra extra EXTRA special to me xxx

    Sheila have a wonderful time with Anne xxx

    I love you all so much sisters....you give me strength just posting ...I love reading all your thoughts...hearing about your lives....I am truly blessed to have so many sisters that bring me warmth and love like no other xxx

    I LOVE YOU ALL XXX

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited August 2008

    Karen - I just read your post and I am so sorry. Hopefully there will be very little pain and you will have the chance to say goodbye.

    We are all here for you, don't ever forget that.

    Hugs,

    Valerie 

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  • md_mouse
    md_mouse Member Posts: 99
    edited August 2008

    Karen,

     Echoing AEs post.  Losing a parent isn't easy.  We are here for you.

    Hugs to everyone

     mouse

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited August 2008

    Hi everyone.  They evaluated my dad this morning and determined that he wasn't stable enough to be transported home.  My mom and SIL had just arrived at the hospital and the rest of us were on our way, when my dad died.  We all sat with him for a couple of hours, and the hospital chaplain said a very nice prayer.  I think my dad would have loved it that we were all there, sitting around him, holding his hands, and reminiscing about the good times we had with him.

    It's been an incredibly long day, and I'm drained to the core.  I'll check back in tomorrow.  Thank you all again for your loving support.  I really am so grateful for each and every one of you.  I love you all more than I could ever say.

    Love and hugs,

    Karen

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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited August 2008

    Karen, I am so very sorry for your loss. May you find some strength and comfort to get through this tough time knowing your dad is in a better place and watching over you and your family.

    With big hugs and my deepest condolences,

    Fumi

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited August 2008

    I can only stop for a minute. so sorry to hear about your fathers death Karen. Just remember that he is not hurting anymore. I know it is not much comfort to you to hear that because we all want our loved ones here where we can hold and love them. Just keep the memories going, as long as he is remembered he is alive.

    Just a quick note on yesterday. Anne, Earleen and I had a great time at Lunch. the only picts that were taken were of my healed tattoos Embarassed and Earleen said that they looked great and she put my picts on her web page before we left. Check out www.ashevillepmc.com  If you want to know which ones are mine, send me a pm and I will tell you. or you can just guess!

    Sheila

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Oh Karen,

    Im soooooo sorry to hear about your dad...

    As everyone has already said, try to remember that he is at peace now but that he lives on in your memories and heart.

    As always its a given that we are here for you and love you....

    Hugs

    Jule

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited August 2008

    Karen,

    Photobucket

    Thinking of you at this difficult time.

     AE

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2008

    Karen, I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  • Ulla
    Ulla Member Posts: 840
    edited August 2008

    oh dear karen..am so so sad ,,sorry for ur loss,,my thoughts and prayers with u sister

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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited August 2008

    Karen .... sincere love and prayers for you dear sister and your mum ...I am deeply sorry , my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time xxx

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2008

    Dearest Karen,

    May your mother and her children and grandchildren be lifted and carried through this hard time by the love of all those who care and the wonder of the cycle of life.

    You know how much you are loved here. Multiply that by friends, family, co-workers...it goes on and is more than you ever imagined. Stay close.

    Judie 

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  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited August 2008

    Dear, sweet Karen, I was so sad to log on this morning and read your post. Your father knew how much he was loved and I''m sure he died feeling that love all around him. I am thinking and praying for you all through this sad time.

    Lots & lots of love to you,

    Jane xxx 

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  • suebee92
    suebee92 Member Posts: 85
    edited August 2008

     HELLO ALL! hope everyone is doing well? feeling a little better not so much build up of hatred towards everyone and everything. CANCER SUCKS, TOTALLY!

    Haven't had to see a doctor in a while which actually feels weird but will go back next month for check ups.

    I just have one question? Did anyone go back to work and hate it? I have been loyal and committed to this salon for 16 yrs. and managed it for 12. I stepped down after i was dx from management and continued to  work as a stylist went back part time and dread going through the door. I dont know what it is? anyone else out there? Now i'm debating on switching salons?

    Anyways trying to catch up on all the posts. Talk to you guys soon. Take care. Youre in my thoughts and prayers! 

     HUGS AND KISSES!

    Suebee 

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  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited August 2008

    Karen , praying for you , your mom and all your family that God will lessen your pain of sorrow for the loss of your dad. Karen , you are such a constant here and a true blessing to us all. My heart is really aching for you right now. I hope all your best memories of your dad will fill your heart to leave no room for the pain. Love you Karen.xxxx

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited August 2008

    Thank you so much, everyone.  Today was another emotionally exhausting day.  We went to the funeral home and made all the arrangements for the funeral.  It's scheduled for Monday afternoon.  What a rough day that's going to be.

    Love to you all,

    Karen

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited August 2008

    Oh, and they've reserved a grave site for me right by my dad, mom, brother and SIL.  I've learned the hard way that it's never too early to start thinking about stuff like this.  Hopefully, I won't have to occupy it for another 40 or so years. 

    Hugs,

    Karen

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  • Wren
    Wren Member Posts: 324
    edited August 2008

    Karen, I am so sorry. I don't have adequate words, but know that you and your family are in my thoughts are prayers.

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited August 2008
     

    Just wanted to check in and see how OUR KAREN is doing and her father. Karen, honey I am so sorry for your loss.  You are in my heart and I am praying that Jesus is there with you and your  family giving you the strength and love that you need right now. I am sure your Dad is smiling down from heaven knowing that you were all around him holding his hand and talking about all of the wonderful memories he made for his family. God bless you sweetie..you are in my constant thoughts and prayers.  I LOVE YOU!!

     
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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited August 2008

     Sisters...this just isn't a good week for news.  I am not sure if you remember me talking about an email friend of mine...we were diagnosed about the same time with bc..and going through our tx's at the same time.  My brother hooked us up, to support one another. Well this past winter/spring she found out that it was in her bones.  She moved to Florida to live with her mother...and I just got a call that she passed away this past weekend.  I am so shocked!  She really didn't have much time after her dx of it metasticsizing.  I hate this frickin disease...I am so sad.........

    She left behind a 22 yr old daughter....please keep her in your prayers.  We now have one more angel to watch down over all of us.

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited August 2008

    Ladies - it time for a

    Photobucket

    Love you all,

    AE

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2008

    Lisa, that is so scary. I'm sorry you lost your friend to this beast. I hope and pray that we all stay as healthy as possible and "die with our boots on" as the cowboys used to say. I guess that means living your life the way you want, right up to the end.

    Thanks for the group hug, Val. Sometimes, that's all we have to give...but sometimes it's all we need.

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited August 2008

    Lisa, I am joining in this group hug. It is hard to watch someone you know dx with the same thing succumb to this terrible disease. I am watching a girl I grew up with going through treatments now for mets. She was dx about 5 yrs ago and just had lumpectomy, chemo and rads. Since they found the mets, she is getting herceptin (not available 5 yrs ago unless mets). Amy is struggling so much with her treatments and I don't know what to do to help her other than sending her thinking of you cards and hugs when I see her. Her parents still attend the church I go to and it is hard seeing the pain on their faces when they talk about the treatments that Amy is going through, she is the youngest of 3 children and she is 8 yrs younger than I am. Just facing your mortality at 39 is hard to imagine.

    Sheila

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  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited August 2008

     Lisa, I'm so sorry about your friend.  It really is so scary.  I'll never understand why this stupid disease metastisizes for some, but not for others--especially when the original diagnosis is exactly the same.  I feel for her daughter...22 is definitely too young to lose a parent.  I feel blessed to have had my dad until I was 44--especially given how ill he was eight years ago, after his heart surgeries.  Those additional years with him were such a wonderful gift.  I thank my mom for them because she took such good care of him.  He amazed every one of his doctors.

    Sheila, I'm also sorry to hear about your friend.  Gosh....39.  WAY too early to have to face your own mortality.  Her poor parents must be so devastated.

    Love and hugs to all,

    Karen

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