2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

debbie444

Brenda - glad Sean enjoyed them , i tried to do all of the kids - thought Maryannes kids were prob a bit old but i will willingly add them to my mailing list if they think otherwise!!

Curlylocks

Good Morning Sisters,

My older sister is here for the weekend. I picked her up on the way home from work last night. Hubby is working days all weekend so here and I will do some sister bonding. It was a last minute decision yesterday. I had planned on putting the final coat of paint on the kitchen walls which I did while she was here, she laughed and said OMG you are always up to something! The second coat of paint really did the trick and they look nice but we still have to do the colourwashing once the cabinets are installed next weekend. We don’t want to take the chance and do it now if the walls get dinged up we cant fix it.

Our dishwasher is being delivered today between 10:00 am. and 2:00 p.m.. I laughed when I told my husband last night asking him where we were going to put it as the dining room is a disaster, kitchen is worse. We decided to have them put it in a corner in the dinning room.

As I sit here typing I hear the poor confused birds outside wondering if they should be here, I think it is a robin making the noise, what a beautiful sound!

Debbie444 – sorry don’t know that saying either “" he's allright but he wouldnt fetch ducks off of the water". Now I have heard the saying many times here “the face only a mother could love”. I will have to right some of these down and practice for when we meet up in August but I don’t think I could get the accent down right, although you would probably think I have a Canadian accent.

Laura – we will start looking for a house once ours is sold, we don’t want to gamble and own two homes, at any given time in our little town there are several homes in town that we could buy to our liking so no issues there.

Deb – those are thermal casement windows that wind out. We have three of them in our living room in a baywindow and the rest of the windows slide up. The windows were all replaced when we moved into the house in 93, thankfully cause yes it can get pretty expensive to replace them. We have those old style window sills too. I will post a picture so you can see, they add character to the house if that’s what you like. I love the pink are those petunias and the orange marigolds. The marigolds are suppose to keep the mosquitos away.

Graycie – I also think those mouth wrinkles were caused by chemo, never had them before and I am not and never have been a smoker. I love your new avtar and your hair looks super!

Tracyseattle – Have 30th to your son. That is wonderful that Dave is helping out with the fundraising for the Relay for Life.

Rosemarie – why are you thinking about moving back to Florida aside from the weather? Can your husband transfer there or does he have his own business, cant remember what you said? My dh was grumbling about our weather last weekend and said I am so sick of this climate as winter doesn’t seem to want to leave this year.

Tadah – I now like the colour even better since the second coat of paint was put on it. We are going to colourwash the kitchen walls which means you lighten the base colour that you have on the wall and mix it with a glaze that allows transparency and you put in on with a sponge in circles on the wall. It looks really nice. We have a board downstairs that we have put the base coat on so that we can practice the technique before putting it on the walls. Enjoy your lazy weekend, awe sounds great….

Brenda – actually that was me when I was younger.LOL.

Victoria – hoping and praying for B9 thoughts for you sweetheart. Oh the worry and our families have been through enough already. I see how much my dh has aged through this whole process let alone the impact on my parents and the rest of my family.

Cindy – I am pissed that this has turned out to be cancer. Its not fair that you have to deal with this so soon out of treatment. The good news is that it seems small. Do you have to have any scans done again? I didn’t know it was possible to have a reoccurance in the opposite breast, always thought that would be a new primary? We are thinking of you and will be here to support you sister.

Ladies have a good Saturday. Will check in tomorrow as my sister will be here.

Love you all
Michele

ravdeb

Cindy..I just read the post. I'm angry along with you. I was shocked and sighed loudly. I hate this dang beast. But, you are a Rocktober Girl and we are here with you so this little cancer that got caught..well..it got caught and will be stopped in its tracks!

Victoria... same with your little thingy..hoping it's "nothing to write home about" (since we are into idioms here!)

I'm so sick of this cancer stuff. It's so tricky. Cindy..I'm glad it's tiny...keep us posted as to what will happen next....

ravdeb

Michele... yes..those window sils...that's what we had in the house I grew up in. I like them.

hot tubs in kitchens? Well..I could see doing that because I spend most of my time in the kitchen!

See..I was right about the grill pans. Yes, Debbie..there are broiler chickens but the grill in the oven is called a broiler in the States. I know...very confusing.

There is a woman who lives in our village who is from New Zealand and when I would take care of her son when our kids were little, she would give me instructions about things and half the stuff I needed to translate to American English! Had no idea what the heck she was talking about! When I was in my early 20's my girlfriend and I decided to venture overseas so we chose England because of the language. Well, when we arrived, our luggage was missing and we had to figure out where it was. But we didn't understand a word anybody was saying to us!

Tracy NY... you are so right. We need to stand up for ourselves when it comes to blood tests and so on. I have a free arm but she will take from the finger because my veins are bad and she has tons of patience, which is lucky for me.

Anonymous

I am so shocked and so sorry! I really wish you had received good news. I was secretly convinced that I was going to be the first one to post such news. I just read through the stats of your primary, and saw that you had no positive nodes. That is really good. So maybe this is a new primary, which would be good, because then it's possible that it could be er & pr positive, thus allowing you the option of Tamoxifen or an AI.

Hang in there. As always, we're here 24/7!

TracyNY

Awww Cindy, sorry to hear about your news. You knocked it on the head once, you'll do it again. We're here to support you and know you will be in my prayers.

I have a saying for you "One monkey don't stop no show"!! Neither can one lump in a breast. Keep on keeping on!

cathy987

Cindy, I am so sorry to hear this news. Anger is so appropriate an emotion. I’m stomping mad here as well. The good news as you stated it, you’re “strong and healthy.” Added to this you are in a place to get the best medical care and you have a husband that will support you through whatever you face. The Rocktober women are also the best people possible to share your feelings with. Gentle hugs for you as you face the next few weeks.

Ronnie, I just read your second post. This is not a good morning. This is a time I truly wish, like you often say, that I lived across the fence from you. Know that those gentle hugs are here anyway. Cindy’s and your concern for your husbands is so touching. I am praying for all of you.

I’m so with you too with the anger over the stalking of this beast. There just has to be something we can do to make a real difference.

Anonymous

V- I will try to call you later. I am so sorry that this has happened!! Sadly, you are not shocked. You've had such a feeling but now that this is caught and once it's over with, do you think you will finally feel like they caught this. You somehow knew you weren't done yet. This should finish it off. If you weren't vigilant and such friends with your team, this may have gone by you all. I love you and will be here for you on the board and on the phone ANYTIME. Big hugs from me and Teryn. Oh and Teryn lost another tooth!!

Cindy, dear, I am sorry to be writing to you, too. Anytime is too soon. Usually there is not a recurrance to the other breast so probably it's a new cancer, which like Laura said, would be good. For me, I'd probably do the chemo again if it was suggested only because I want the best odds. And darn, just when you got your hair back! We're here. And go ahead and yell. I'd probably just hide under my desk again and cry. I'm sorrry.

ravdeb

oh no, V...
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sad...cindy and Victoria...

cindy..I am thinking you have a new primary because triple negs don't usually get local recurrence AND it's in the other breast. good chance you could have hormone pos and this would be a good thing. I'm hoping this for you. This is what happened with nosurrender on the triple negs thread...

It's the best out of a bad situation....

I can't believe this is happening but both of you know that you have us here...

chumfry

Thanks to everyone for all the good thoughts. I'm sad that Victoria has gotten this bad news, too. I will make sure to read more about NoSurrender's situation.

This one's certainly not growing as fast as my first one, so that lends more weight to a new primary, potentially estrogen-positive variety. I'm still pretty stunned by this turn of events, but I'm on board for whatever fight is necessary. If I need chemo, I'll do chemo. And you'll all get to pat my bald head in August. That is, if it isn't covered with Christmas bows!

maryannecb

V and Cindy.............I am so mad for you both. Hard to believe, Friday the 13th truly was a bad day.

Cindy, yup a small new BC, it is better than a big fat old one but.....didn't we pay our debt to bad health 2 years ago. Seems reallly unfair.

DIEP is a flap of skin and fat from your tummy.It is placed over the muscle. It gives beautiful results and is considered the caddy of reconstruction. The small bonus is a tummy tuck! I f you are at all unhappy with the reconstructed side it is probably the best way to go. I'll keep my fingers crossed for the rest of your work-up. You CAN do this! Fists up!

V, so they think it is a recurrence or a new CA in leftover breast tissue. It sucks--Hoepfully surgery rads and nothing else is the order of the day for you. I thought thy took your muscle on that side off..can't believe there was left over tissue. I know it can happen....Like Kelly said you were the most sure the game wasn't over yet but it must hurt to be facing this again. Hope your staging scans go well. Fingers crossed. Fists up!

I can't think of anything else to say in view of this awful news.

Fists up!

Anonymous

Cindy and Victoria, I am praying for both of you. Hang in there.

Ladies, have you heard of how elephants deal with another injured elephant in the jungle? They circle the injured elephant and keep her from falling, because if she falls, that's the end of her.

Elephants, time to circle our two sisters, Victoria and Cindy...

ake

Oh ladies,

I just got home and read the posts and my eyes immediately filled with tears....not because I'm scared and not because I'm sad...because I know you two are strong and you'll get through this. I'm crying because I'm so angry that you two have to have things turned upside down again.

You've gotten through it before and there is no reason to think you won't get through it again. Only now, you are even stronger than you were the last time and you will be ready to fight. And you have us. I will be there for you both every step of the way. I can be your strength when you need it.

Cindy...I had the DIEP and it's so much easier (minus the tummy tuck part) because it doesn't go under the muscle. The results are fabulous. Let me know if you want more info and I can give it to you.

Victoria and Cindy...you're going to do fine. I know it in my gut. You kick it right back. I love you both and I'm here for you through every step of the way.

-Amy

Curlylocks

Victoria,

I am sorry that you heard the bad news too from your medical team. This really sucks...You said that they missed this small area the first time or was it LCIS all along and then developed into invasive lobular?

Sorry dont know much about LCIS (is that pre-cancerous lobular cells?)

What type of treatment is your oncologist recommending?

We will be here in spirit for both yourself and Cindy through this really crappy part of being rediagnosed. I am in shock and cant believe that this is striking two of us Rockobter Girls at the same time!

Sisters heads held high and beat the crap out of this beast!!! As Maryanne would say Fists UP!

Love Michele

Anonymous

Cindy -
Once you get your pathology - if it is Lobular, we have a thread in the main forum dedicated to it. Lots of helpful info, etc. is available there. Lobular tends to be very lazy in nature. Cindy - instead of bows how about lemon drops! I'll bring my glue gun!

ravdeb

Sadly, I added Victoria's name to the subject...

Brenda..I like that..us elephants gathering around to support Cindy and Victoria. Instead of fists up...we could say trunks up!

I am so sad today, Ladies.. But, I know Victoria and Cindy will be tough. This beast doesn't know who it's dealing with!

I love you both!

ake

you know that elephants are symbols of good luck? i have them all over my house and office. so, you have good luck surrounding you both

chumfry

I enjoyed some retail therapy this afternoon. (New sheets and a pretty quilt from JC Penneys) I have this kind of running monologue in my head now, like when you're mad at somebody and you're having an argument with them in your head? Kind of a "How dare you come back and mess with my life? Hurting all the people who love me? I'll show *you* what you're up against! You won't even know what hit you!"

Anyway, that sort of thing was going through my head as I was crossing the parking lot in front of a store and a guy passing in front of me in a great huge truck just stopped dead and waved me across! LOL I must have looked very formidable! (I may even have been stomping!)

The part of this that makes me the maddest is how it hurts the people I love. It almost makes me wish that I wasn't loved so well by so many people, because it is that love that is causing them such pain now. And I know that "wishing not to be loved" is probably the dumbest thing I've ever even thought about wishing for. And I don't really wish that. Sigh.

I like the image of the ailing elephant surrounded by her sisters. I can feel your love all around me and it helps a lot.

marymelodi

Looks like I am the first to post today on Saturday . . everyone must be busy. I am also upset by the news of Cindy and Victoria. I had hoped none of us would have another round with breast cancer.

Like everyone else, I am praying for you and sending positive encouragement to you. Both of you are strong, exemplary women and as others said, you've fought the good fight and seem like you can do it again.

I like the idea of good luck elephants . . . we all are circling you and supporting you in whatever ways we can.

Keep hopeful and know that we love you.
Mary

scottishlass

Hello,

Been away for a while at Easter - just caught up with the posts. Everyone seemed to be on the up until the last page. Victoria & Cindy - Please know that we are all here for you - even those who do not post very often. My sister has a phrase "what does not kill us makes us stronger" I think everyone on this site is stronger than they were before and show that they have the will power to beat all our cancers.
You are both in my thoughts and sending you best wishes.
Luv Jill

Graycie

Oh Gosh, I hate all this bad new's. Cindy I don't know what to say. I guess when they say this disease is a crap shoot they are right. You just never know. I am just glad that you found it when you did and that it is small. Just know we are here for you every step of the way to help you through this.......Victoria, I just read your post......gosh what's going on? Be thankful you caught your's early too.....Very upsetting, but you are both strong and you will be fine, I just know it.......

Michele, Thanks for the compliment. I don't smoke either. I have the howdy doody look. (creases in the laugh lines) I think I laugh too much..........lol........I wish I could say I laugh too much actually I think it is just that my face has gotten fatter. I have these funny little lines in my chin too which I never had........I think chemo really dried out my skin. Oh well, wrinkle's are the least of the worries right now.

Laura, I like your new avatar.

Brenda, You are too funny. Did you really think those were Kelly's boob's?

Anonymous

Brenda -
I love the elephant story! That's incredible!

Anonymous

Just got back from the Tae Kwon Do test. I think Sean passed, but certification takes a few more months.



Graycie: I just wanted to get a few laughs from the group. Glad it worked.

Anonymous

Brenda -
That photo is amazing...great shot! You must be very proud!

Paula15089

girls, girls, whats happening?
i come here wanting and needing to hear all is well with everybody and instead i am reading 'its cancer'...
i am so so sorry.
but on the bright side (if there is such thing with cancer) its tiny and will be taken care of with surgery.

you both will be fine. And we will be here praying and cheering for you.

i guess those news make me feel ever so glad i am getting a prophy done. Its sad but our breasts have become our enemies.

love you girls

ravdeb

Yes, Paula..they are traitors. I can't believe that a part of me that was once looked upon as sexy is now something I fear.

Brenda... that is one heck of a picture! Looks like he got it!!!

I love the elephant idea...

Cindy and Victoria...You women are absolutely amazing..so strong! I admire you both tremendously.

cindy..you WERE probably stomping at that point in the parking lot. I'm glad you did some retail shopping. That always gives one a lift..to see something new and fresh either as clothing or in the house...heck..just as Tracy NY..she's our expert in that department!

Victoria..know that I agree with you..no selective support anywhere anyhow...never on this board and never in my "real" life. I am a member of a community in my "real" life and as you know, am head of the "caring and support" committee. When somebody is ill or needs some help or support, it makes no diference whether we are friends or even like the person...we are there for them because when a person is in need, it is one's obligation to give support and care.

I am not giving support here on the boards because it's an obligation, though. I'm doing it because I want to. I love you as I do each member here.

I'm distraught over this new turn of events because I didn't expect it to happen so soon on our thread. We were all just getting into our new "norm". I guess it's a continual process...

Am thinking of you and all of us who are going through this with you...

ake

victoria...you're right. we have a sisterhood and in times of crisis, we need each other the most. so differences go to the side and we rally together. hang in there. i'm in your corner, you know that.

cindy....i stomped all through my diagnosis, treatment, and afterwards. stomping is a good thing i always go back to the image i used when i first got diagnosed...i pictured myself in pink satin boxing shorts with pink gloves and i was in the ring and fighting cancer and i was completely knocking it out. i felt strong every time i thought of this picture of me as a boxer. my mom even put boxing gloves on her charm bracelet

you both are fighters and you're strong and i think you're both amazing, so get ready to get in that ring, put on your shorts, and knock it all out.

love,
amy

RoseMarie

Dear Cindy and Victoria -
I just haven't been able to post - I guess I was like a lot of us here, thinking this couldn't happen again to a Rocktober sister! I am so sorry you're both having to go through this again. I'm so sad, but at the same time I know you'll both come through.
Sorrounding you both with love and prayers!

Anonymous

I'm not a regular church-goer (despite having been raised a Catholic)...but my Mom is very active at her church and she teaches their weekly Youth Group, so I asked her to add "the victims of 2nd round bc" (this covers recurrence and new situations) to their Prayer List. And of course she has!

cathy987

Dear Laura

You don’t have to be religious to show that YOU care. You just have to be one of the elephants and speak directly. In one of your pm’s to me you once said, “I am not a religous person, but I love and believe in the saying, God helps those who help themselves.” I believe that too and these two women are helping themselves and they have both come here for our loving care as well. Stand strong!

With only the greatest love and concern for all my sisters.