2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracyNY

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Its a holiday here in the US and believe me, as a Black person, (its hard for me to call myself African-American because I'm from England and my parents are from the Caribbean!) I'm very happy because I don't know how much of that sitting in the back of the bus I could put up with.

I somehow think that the person who posted the controversial post will fade to oblivion soon enough, I don't think we should move on account of them. In my opinion its not that deep, we're just trying to get together to have a good time, not get a special dispensation from the Pope or anything. Whoever can make it can, who can't will come to the next one as I'm sure this won't be only time we do this.

Kelly, you look fabulous.
Dev: My business is on hold too, I just come home and watch tv. Energy and motivation are quite limited. Don't beat yourself up about it. One of my favorite sayings is "Used to aint no more". Things we used to do are just that, things we used to do. We can shoot for getting back to that place but if not, we just have to adjust to the new normal.

Brenda: Yes, my table is mahogany if that drunkard is accurate. I am so sick of him right now. He was supposed to bring my side chairs yesterday but again, he had an excuse. I told him to keep them until I get back from Barbados, I can't spend my evenings waiting for him. I couldn't put my finger on the "Early" character in Dreamgirls either. It seemed to be a James Brown/Marvin Gaye hybrid.

debbie444

Ok, i didnt sleep last night because of this , and i am really grumpy when i dont sleep.
Like someone said, i really cant think that it is one of us, and i dont see us as original and new, we are just'us'. I could cry to think that someone has decided to 'have a go'. Victoria, please dont go anywhere, before this i never had any really close women friends and i would hate to lose someone who i class as that now.
If anyone does have any issues with me, i would prefer them to come out and say it - we all know how to pm. I am now paranoid as everyone seems to have some idea of who they think it may be except me - what if everyone thinks it is me?????
On another vein, I have just managed to double my hours at work to cover some holiday costs as we obviously wont be there for the day!! I have work with a new child in the nursery who is chair bound with cerebal palsy. Lokks like a learning curve for both of us there then.

Maryanne - hope alls goes well with the SC, nothing is superficial if it is attatched to a Rocktober sister - keep us up to date.
Rosemaries - they arent real skating pictures. Where is teh blood, wheres the person face down sliding across the ice. Where are the paramedics?? Oh is that just wheni go skating ?? LOL!!

Laura, how anyone can find it in them to be nasty to our Laura is beyond me, it really is. If everyone were coming this way i would offer to try and squeeze them all into my tiny English bungalow, because of who you all are. I guess everyone would be the same. Would we all be classed as having an ulterior motive ?? Ignore it Laura - i hope you have luck digging them out.

Debbie

ake

My concern is that there is drama now in our group and that pisses me off.

Here's the thing...if it's just a troll...how come we're not just ignoring it? How has this troll gotten so powerful that there is a new yahoo group set up, pm's going back and forth, people leaving the group?

If it's a member of our group, I'm even more upset. Because this person didn't feel safe enough to voice her feelings about our meeting, and had to disguise herself. And now people don't feel safe enough to stay in our group.

As I said, I'm really frustrated. We're supposed to get united over difficult things and now we're getting divided.

RoseMarie

I vote for resuming life as normal...

TracyNy-LOL - you CRACK me up!!!
Debbie - you too!! My South-Florida-native dh was actually pretty good on the ice! My shoulders ache from holding kids - trying to prevent them from falling...
Ok - kids are home from school today - time to put them to WORK!

debbie444

Graycie

Amy has a point. I am not going to be chased away. Sorry girls, you are stuck with me, I am here for the duration. I am not letting anyone scare me away. Besides I have nothing to hide.

debbie444

I too am going nowhere - nowhere else would have me!!
No seriously, we have ridden this out before and will do so again. Like Graycie gail said ' I have nothing to hide' ( apart from my 3rd head of course)
Debbie

Graycie

Rosemarie, With all this chaois I forget to mention the skating. That must have been fun. I love skating. My mother being a Canadian also had skating in her blood. It brought back memories when she used to take us skating, although she put us in figure skating lessons. I guess with 4 girls it got to be too much trying to hold on to us all......lol... I think she was looking for an Olympic star, sorry Mom. We did do a few skating shows but that was it.

debbie444

Oh and my cheerleading is cancelled - the insurance doesnt cover me !! ( what are they trying to say?) Because i am a non teaching member of staff the insurers said Think they have heard of me??

Graycie

Yes Debbie, You pretty much are a open book but watch out they may steal the playwrights to your life and write a book...lol
It would probably be a Best Seller especially in the world of comedy.

Graycie

Oh Funny, I guess they know you pretty well.....

Graycie

Your a poor risk.......haaaaa

Anonymous

Ok, because I was using my daughter's real name as my user name, I have changed my name. I just don't want to come up on Google that easy. I don't mind my picture.

Debbie, you think you would need insurance? LOL

Rosemarie, thanks for the pics of skating. Looks like you all had so much fun. I had skating lessons when I was young but I can only skate forwards and backwards now, can't even do the 'hockey stop' anymore!!

Amy, I feel the same way. I actually think its a lurker ... could be a member of this board or someone who joined simply to post.

I wish the chemo forum had permissions to view it and that even our thread had to have posting permissions set. This way a stranger couldn't come in and post whatever they wanted to us like that.

Everyone, thanks for all the compliments. I really liked my hair better shoulder length, this short doo is just not what I like to look at!

chumfry

I agree. Ignore the troll and go back to our "normal" lives here on this thread. I poked around on the Yahoo group last night and it's not as user-friendly. (At least not to *this* dim user!) However, I will learn how to use it if some of our members feel the need to be there instead of here. I'll just visit both sites.

I hate that this has freaked us out so thoroughly. I think we've probably been lucky to have so few trolls on our thread. And frankly, I don't care *who* the troll is/was.

TracyNY

Bear in mind that for the 6,000 or so posts we've made, there have been over 46,000 views. Alot of people enjoy our banter.

Can someone please come and help me pack?! I hate packing and I hate unpacking even worse. I finally got to sleep on sheets last night as I pulled out the ironing board and starch and pressed my linens.

Does anyone follow "Rome" on HBO? I love that show and it started the second and final season last night. My all time favorite is "The Sopranos" though. When that show first started I wondered what the hell kinda show can they make about singers?!

Debbie: Bwaahhhh!! It aint skating if the paramedics aren't waiting on the sidelines!!

ake

Victoria...I completely trust you and I'm glad you're staying around.

Anonymous

Victoria, don't feel funny about the Yahoo site, I can't even find it. Rosemarie said she had to look for it for 4 hours. I never did find it. Anyway, it's apparently not user friendly. It didn't require an invite.

Love you much V!!

cathy987

am on plane waiting for takeoff. trying to post on handheld. never done this befor. just wanted to say....victoria...amen

love to each and every one of us

ake

for me, i don't want to say no one can post because then we are becoming an exclusive clique and i feel that is not the point of these boards. there are always going to be women who post negative things, people who are having bad days and take it out on others, etc.

i don't think we have to do anything, but only trust in each other, know we've been through a lot, and remain each other's biggest supporters. and if someone else needs the support that we provide, i'm fine with them being with us. if someone posts something nasty, we can explain to them that that type of message is not welcome on this thread...or really anywhere on these boards. I see so much bickering sometimes on these boards and it drives me batty and it goes against the whole purpose of this site.

ladies, i dont' think we need rules or a secret place to post on yahoo or anything. we just need to support each other and remain trustworthy to one another and go from there.

just my thoughts.

Anonymous

I don't think Victoria is trying to say that no one can post ...... but as for me, I find it hard to keep up with our group as it is and to keep adding to the birthday, address, phone list, what is going on in your life ..... well that's hard. That's why a part of me wants to get off the public site so that way we don't look cliquish, we aren't .... we are just a supportive tight group and this one little section of my life that I have found some really supportive girls.

Anonymous

Love your new name X girl.
LOL!!!

ake

ladies,

we're getting a bad rep on other threads and being seen as judgmental, exclusive, and cliquey. that really upsets me. i find so much strength through other groups, other threads, other women, and that is part of the reason that i still post in such a public forum...so i can also give strength to those who may need it.

but, it's just drama now and that's not the purpose of our group, this thread, our site. it bothers me that other women on these boards are seeing us in such a negative light.

jasmine

Hi all

I hope I'm not intruding but read about the user issues with the Yahoo boards. There are other alternatives for free messageboards that provide a look and feel similar to this one. http://www.topbb.com/ is a nice free site offering phpbb messageboards. Phpbb looks and feels just about like this forum. I think you would find it warm and user friendly.

I would humbly suggest that you might consider having the best of both worlds. You could create a free private board on that site and also continue to maintain and participate in this thread.

Your private issues could be saved for the private domain while you provided support and comraderie to the new people who wish to seek support here.

marymelodi

I do not think we should move to another site for communicating. There is value in our forum here. As we have seen, our love for each other and our collective wisdom have inspired and comforted others.

We should just let this episode fade into the past and go on with our normal lives. If someone is that upset they will likely remove themselves from associating with us.

I think that everyone needs to remember that things are usually not as they seem and if you find yourself reacting with frustration, anger, or any other strong emotion . . . TAKE A STEP BACK AND RECONSIDER. I have seen time and time again that if you ask a person what they meant to say it is always a miscommunication. I fully believe no one here would intentionally hurt anyone else.

I still wonder if the message we saw was meant for some other group and not for us. Perhaps I'm wrong or naive.

I'm choosing to still hold my high opinions of everyone since we do not know anything concrete. I am looking forward to meeting as many as can come together. After my evening with Cathy and Gail I have no fear of coming together with any of you.

Please, let us just cool down and ignore this episode and go back to our core of love, care, and friendship.

With fondness for all,
Mary

ravdeb

I agree with you, Mary. Let's just keep up our talking and our planning and whatever we want to discuss. This thread is open to whoever is interested in discussing things with those on this thread. It is not a closed thread. There is no such thing as a closed thread.

I will not watch my words anymore today than I did in the past. I don't think I have a need to. I welcome whoever wants to join us and trust that each one who posts is sincere in what she states and is who she says she is.

And that is that!

Rosemarie..did I mention that I loved your pics? Debbie..you are tooooooooooooooooo funny!
Good luck with the wheel chair student. I have a masters in special ed and specialized in severely/profoundly challenged students. Had lots of cp students in wheelchairs. And it IS a challenge but a very rewarding one. I know that this is what I should be doing because whenever I hear about somebody who is working with special ed kids, my heart churns a bit and I get emotional..like..I'm missing that. I have lots of reasons why I'm not doing it right now. But, when I was in the States, I loved working with these kids. Worked with autistic kids, too.

Love the pic, Debbie!
TracyNY..if I could come and pack with you..I'd do it!
Have a safe trip..when are you leaving? and be kind to the drunkard!

Anonymous

marymelodi-
That post was not meant for some other group...they specifically mentioned my name and referred to our get together...just fyi.
Laura

beth1225

Hope nobody here minds this but I have two things to post that are really general information:
1. I am from the Philly burbs. I am planning another mini get together on Feb. 10th for anyone in the Philly area, even if you are just visiting. There is no way for me to know who is from where sometimes so I hope everyone will spread the word and pass it along. My email is larryandbeth1@verizon.net if you want sepcifics or just pm me.

2. I thought it would be a good idea to do something worthwhile with my time. So I talked to another BCO member and we came up with a crafting thread. It got placed under the Moving Beyond Forum but it is open for everyone who loves to work with their hands. Paint, sculpt, knit, crochet, needlepoint, etc...you get the point. Also, we are getting together to knit and/or crochet squares for a Warm Up America Blanket. Newvickie is gathering them all together to send to someone from BCO who really could use it. I know people on chemo and who have radiation ahve times they jsut can't get warm. This is a community project and I think it is also listed under Moving Beyond. Please feel free to join in. Again, any questions, pm or email me.

chumfry

Victoria:

I doubt if this will make you feel any better, but try to remember that everybody forgets stuff. Even people who still have estrogen and who didn't have chemo. It's a giant pain in the butt and I know you must be kicking yourself, but it is a human foible and we are all human.

RoseMarie

People are talking about us?? Really??? I didn't realize we had a reputation out there in cyber world!

I hope no one takes offense to the Yahoo group - Kelly is right, it's very hard to find and I have no idea how to even invite anyone to join.
I just want to be where you all are. So if we decide to stay here, fine by me, if we decide to move on, I'm ok with that too.

Debbie - LOVE the pic of Sam!! LOL!!!
TracyNY-you iron your linens? I am TOO impressed. I would be right there with Ravdeb,if I could, to help you, btw.
Victoria - love you, chica!!
Looking forward to August 24-26 in Chicago!!! Here's a pic (sorry, again with the pics!) from last summer in Chicago -
Lake Michigan is AMAZING!!
Mike was working so I was alone with the kids in Chicago! I'd like to see Chicago with someone who knows where to go and what to see!! We did manage to get to the Shedd Aquarium - that was really neat!
I love you all!! I'm glad we're moving on!!

RoseMarie

Oh Victoria!! So sorry!!!!!