2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

debbie444

That is just too cute Kelly!!
Dev - how about a home that does Residential care and nursing care? My friend worked in one and their people consisted mainly of couples. Its a hard situation to be in for sure.
Reoccurrence. Where do i stand? Both of the womwn i work with have both had cancer twice, both are back at work with me. Both have families, both have grandkids. I cling to this fact, Roger is with me. He tells me that if it comes back, we will batten down the hatches and fight it again. Each day that goes by , treatments get better. He made me cry yesterday by saying doesnt take me for granted, i mean to much to him for that and because of that i am going nowhere.
Tracey - that would be great - i admit i havent a clue where it is your friend lives but i am sure a train will go in that direction. If she has a car it means you will be able to pick me up from the middle of nowhere when i get lost!! Jill - keep up!! At the mo its Tracey but that gets us to 3 - will have to sort it.
Better go, Mark trying to make a tardis from an inside out toothpaste tube and we leave for school in 5 mins. If i dont get glue up it will set!!
Debbie

TracyNY

You know what? As much as I hated all this cancer stuff, if it comes back I'll just have to deal with it. Having already been successfully treated we all know that chemo and other interventions CAN work and our job is not to worry about the ifs and whens but to enjoy the periods of peace while we are cancer-free.

I'm going to live until I die. I mean that. I plan to die old and in my bed surrounded by those who love me. In the meantime, cancer is like a friend who did me wrong. I forgave them and put it in the past. If I focus on it daily, I can never move on and I give it power it doesn't deserve.

Do I read the NY Times obituaries every day to see who died of what at what age? Yup. Lots of people die of cancer but many of them are old as hell too! For the most part, you all are my only link to that part of my life. I thank God daily for sparing me and in appreciation of His gift, I choose to savor every moment.

This is not meant to invalidate anyone's concerns or fears, just a word to ponder.

Now I have to get up off my knees, I have no chairs in my house to sit on. If that bum doesn't deliver this weekend I'm going to his shop with a can of gasoline and a box of matches!!

ravdeb

Tracy.. I agree. I have this stuff in the back of my mind but I do agree with you...I will just fight it all over again. Debbie said that, too. But, just the fact that there is this possibility that it will return, I am more determined to do things MY way and not miss out on a lot of stuff. I agree...live until I die.

Debbie..I have no idea what is available in Omaha Nebraska and their daughter did all the arranging. I have to just accept that they will now be separated but she is able to drive so she can drive to visit him daily. I think. I hope.

I am thinking of going there this spring. I will discuss this with my dh after all our guests leave.

Tracy..hope you get furniture soon! I would never be able to be on my knees at the computer!!!

Must get back to work here...I'm the taxi driver today. Wll be picking up two elderly women for services tonight so I have to have my dinner ready so I can be out the door on time for them.

And it's raining and it will be dark. I hate rainy, dark nights. We live in the country so we have country roads with hardly any lighting most of the way to services...ugh.

Have a good weekend y'all!

RoseMarie

Kelly - how's Teryn? Hope she's feeling better today.
Debbie - I teared up reading your post - Roger sounds like such a great guy!
Victoria - Thinking of you!
TracyNy-I hope you get your furniture today!!! Please don't set anything on fire...at least not today
Ravdeb - be safe! Hope the weather clears up for you!
MaryAnne-I hate the space in my mind that leaves room for doubt and fear about bc!
Through it all it was/is comforting to know that God would never leave me nor forsake me-no matter what comes my way. I hold on to that and try to dismiss negative thoughts as quickly as possible.
I can't believe it's Friday! My kids start school on Tuesday. I have this internal clock that thinks I'm supposed to be starting back too!! I am enjoying being at home but it's still so weird to not be teaching!!! I got a card from one of my students for Christmas - so sweet - I taught her brother in 3rd grade and then had her in 3rd grade 8 years later.
Holy smokes, what am I doing - I'm missing working???? I better go get some more coffee and get a grip!!
Have a GREAT day ladies!!!!!

TracyNY

It summer in NYC!! Its going to be damn near 70 degrees tomorrow! To hell with the snow, I'm breaking out the shorts and tank tops!

Anonymous

Hi girls -
I agree...it's so hard not to think about bc and worry. Especially when a woman dies from it every 13 minutes! I think we have all done a FAB job at getting back to our lives even though we're still fearsome. For me...the fear will never leave. But, we're all so driven, so responsible and so hopeful...

On that thought, I finally received my new license plate.

World...let it be known - WE NEED A CURE!



Let the rain come down and wash away our tears, let it fill our souls and drown our fears.

I admire and respect each and every one of you.

Love, Laura

Anonymous

Hi Ladies,

Tracy, that bum better get his rear end in gear if he knows whats good for him. Hope he comes thru for you. Tracy, I am glad that you have been able to move on in real life and for us, glad that you decide to stay with us and keep our chins out of our beer.

Linny, how is your grandson? Do they have to do a lot of pre-op stuff for him?

Debbie, my my, your hubby sounds so awsome and supportive. And he is right! You are such fun with your children: adventurous, kind, sporty and the ability to laugh at yourself even when you don't feel like laughing!

Laura, love the license plate. How are you feeling??

Victoria, glad you got things cleaned out. I know how you feel about tank tops and strappy tops. Right now with the Barbie boob, unless I can wear a bra, I cannot wear the shirt. I cannot wait to have my exchange and am going to call today for an appt at the ps to try to get this going again. My other issue is weight gain on the meds. I am throwing out my normal pants!!

Regarding recurrance: I am scared and have reserved that place in my mind as well. I feel as if it has already happened and yet, I know it hasn't. I saw that movie The Family Stone and I could not keep my eyes dry. I pray so hard that G*d will let me see Teryn grow up and like the mom in that movie ... just be there to help her when she makes mistakes. She won't be fine if I died now or in 5 years. I really need to make it so I am frightened. I cannot let her go to her dad and live a crappy little life without direction, money and education. She would just learn bad values and be constantly in a state of upheaval. (how do you spell that word???)

Well, I still have a cold, I am going to wake Teryn but I have to go to work today, they just get so pissy when I have to take off because Teryn is sick. Really really gets under my skin. "It's not Giant RV's fault. You should get a babysitter." Hello????

TracySeattle

Hi All!

You know, right after I finished chemo I thought that I would NEVER go thru it again. But now, I face the aspect of recurrence knowing that I will fight it again and I would TOTALLY expect to win again!

We will all do what we have to do and we will always be here for each other.....

I am pretty good at moving forward and not thinking about what could happen, but here are times--sometimes even just brief little flash back kind of moments that bring it all back to me.

We can do whatever we need to do and in the meantime, LIFE IS GOOD!!!

I am getting my new laptop tomorrow, so I am hoping to be able to spend more time here with all of you. At least I read the posts everyday and try to keep up with what is going on!

Love you all, have a great Friday and weekend!

debbie444

Well i have too much living left in me to pack into a few years so aim to be here a good while yet!! If it does come back i dont want to have wasted my NED time whittling about it!

TracyNY

Well I pinned down the furniture man who says he's coming on Sunday evening. He'd better. That already ruins my Sunday dinner plans. I have a shoulder of pork marinating that can only be eaten at the table with alcohol of some sort.

I call it Three Day Pork because it takes three days to prepare; one to tenderize it, the second to season it, and the third to cook it. It could win a prize and its an absolute shame to have to eat it with a plate on my lap.

I don't mind cooking in November, I just need a list of allergies and dislikes so I can formulate a menu. It would be my pleasure!

Anonymous

Hi Girls -

Speaking of November...what's the game plan? I'm ready if you are, and would love to start thinking about the agenda. So...is it here in Chi-town? Let me know. I have a few ideas re: a get-together...let's just say: magical!

Laura

TaDah -
I'm not allergic to anything! That roast sounds awesome...pork roasts are one of my favorites! I make one that has bread stuffing in the middle. Yum!

Anonymous

I'm allergic to tomato paste........fresh tomatoes ok, not paste!!

Anonymous

Kelly - Everyone
Thanks for asking how I'm doing...(a few posts back). I'm actually not feeling that great. On Tuesday, I had the drain taken out. On Wednesday I started having lots of pain. Yesterday, I went back to the surgeon and had the staples taken out and actually felt even worse yesterday than on Wednesday. He gave me an rx for an antiobotic, but said he didn't think it was infected, but to take it as a precaution. So I started taking it last night. Today, again I am having lots of pain, a burning pain as well, and the Darvocet is not working at managing it. I have some rx Ibuprofens that I am going to try. I can't figure out why at the beginning, right after surgery and the next several days, the pain wasn't that bad and tolerable, and now it's so much worse. I don't have a fever, but the whole right side chest area is a little pink. The surgeon didn't think much about that. I am scheduled to see him again on Monday...I'm going to try to hang in there until then, although if I get desperate, I have his home phone # - he said I could call him anytime. Any thoughts...or advice would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Laura

debbie444

Ok Laura, if it was me i wouldnt wait. Infection shows itself in many ways, temperature, pink/red skin, skin itself warmer than usual to touch, cold fluey symptoms etc . You are talking to the operation infection queen here!
Just ring him, catch it quick and you sort it out quick!!
Debbie

Anonymous

Debbie -
Thanks for the advice...I hate to say it, but I do feel achey/flue like (somewhat) and the skin around the incision site is a little hot! I hope, hope, hope, it's not an infection. I'm going to call him. I hate to complain, but this SUCKS, and I'm beginning to feel battle beaten! Thanks, again.
Laura

Curlylocks

Tonight finds me with a heavy heart. My husband has decided that our young puppy is not fitting in with our other dog who is 11 years old. The puppy is too aggressive and high strung despite a lot of exercise daily and is totally stressing out our older dog. We have had her 3 months and I find myself grasping at straws knowing that in a lot of ways my husband is right… I have seen the interaction with the two of them but am having a hard time accepting the reality. We just lost our beloved Shepard in June due to old age, am feeling like life is starting to get somewhat normal and now this…sometimes it really sucks loving an animal and then having to part with them. After my husband dropped the bomb on me last night when I got home from work I called the breeder that we got her from and she is willing to take her back and find a good home for her. I just feel so lost right now and sad that she wont be a part of our lives much longer…all for the best in the end I believe.

I have gone from wanting to string my husband up to the rafters for not telling me how stressed out he was feeling sooner, feeling sorry for the puppy as she is going to be moved to another home, thinking it is the right thing to do, angry at cancer and what it has done to our lives, yada yada yada…..

I had a really good cry last night for several hours to cleanse my soul of all the hurt and disappointment that life sometimes bestows upon us and then counting myself lucky for being spared from this awful disease for now when so many others are far worse off. I told my husband that I didn’t hate him and that it was nice to hear that he finally admitted how much stress this disease has brought to our lives that it was a mistake in the first place to even bring a new puppy into our lives at this time. I also stupidly said to my husband you know sometimes I thought he was so “as a matter of fact” about my bc diagnosis and that everything was going to be fine (which it will be), like me stressing out about my first upcoming followup on February 7 that I sometimes felt alone in my worrying. He said that I was wrong that he does worry about how I feel about all of this, how crappy I sleep most nights and that he loves me dearly. Men, sometimes they are so hard to figure out and seem so polar opposite to the way we think and feel. Now that I have had my rant for this evening.

Brenda – sorry I shouldn’t have made the picture so big. I love your quote and hope that I can enjoy the ride too when things don’t always appear rosy! My mom is young, 67!

TracyNy – I like your attitude. I do enjoy people and would talk to the wall if it would talk backJI have to set an example when I go to meetings as I work in the Human Resources Department but sometimes I would love to cut up the boring times by cracking a good joke.

Linda – I belong to a good support group in Guelph. There are about 25 ladies in the group, with varying ages. The group is structured and seems well organized. I have only gone to two meetings so far, next one is on Monday. I wish nothing but the best for Issacs’ implant. February 7 is a good day that is the day that hopefully I am declared NED!

Maryanne – love the dragon boat pictures and the scenery is gorgeous. I think I told you my mother was from Nova Scotia, Margaree Forks. It is so pretty there!!! I haven’t been though since 1986. I try not to think about the bad outcomes and that all of this bc stuff is truly out of our hands.

Amy – you can see the transformation in your pictures from being under the weather to chime in the New Year a little healthier looking.

Ravdeb – thanks for the compliment. Did you notice how red my face was in the one shot, no it wasn’t alcohol but a stupid hotflash! Enjoy your sunshine and nice weather. We have had an unseasonably warm winter with only 1 snowfall in early November and 13 degrees celcius today! I will have some of that coffee too, but it has to be first thing in the morning, decaf with milk please. I have to believe that the chemo that you did worked and you will be dancing with NED for many years.

Victoria – I too am struggling with the menopausal issues, namely very interrupted sleep and hotflashes. Being er/pr+ doesn’t leave much choice to eliminate the flashes. I hear that Effexor is suppose to work but I am doing so well on Celexa don’t want to rock the boat. Do you know if being thrown into menopause through chemo and chemically shutdown your ovaries puts you through menopause faster? Stupid question maybe? I am just wondering how long I will be so sleep deprived for.

Mary – I am sorry that things are not going well for you right now. I think a lot of our significant others, partners and husbands struggle more than we realize with the complexity of this disease. I know that my husband is very loving but misses the way our lives use to be before bc hit, carefree, etc. I know that hopefully with time the worry will ease up a bit. I even came right out and asked him the other day if he is tired of hearing about bc constantly and his response was “no it is now a part of our lives”, although I know that deep down he would rather things be more normal.

Amy – I can also relate to every word that you have written, it is sometimes so damn hard to comprehend that I am a breast cancer survivor but I know it is reality. Maybe I’m just having a really bad week.LOL.

Debbie444 – I had to laugh about your Furby comments. I bought one for my girlfriend’s 7 year old daughter. We laughed ourselves silly playing with it last week. It actually talks back to you!! I think we were having more fun with it then her daughter was. A cup is 250 ml. Your children look adorable in those Christmas gift bags. You sound way too organized, buying stuff for next Christmas already, geeze your putting us to shame.

Paula – thanks for the compliment. What is bluetooth? I don’t share my fears with my family at all. My mom and I are really close. I don’t want to worry my parents and want them to enjoy their retirement, although its probably silly of me to think that they don’t worry. They are just very good at hiding their emotions from me as I am from them.

Laura – I hope that you managed to fight off an infection. I loved your cheetah pjs and slippers. I am so happy that you listened to your inner voice and did the right thing by removing your other breast before it began a ticking time bomb. I love your licence plate! Yes we do need to find the Cure Soon! My anniversary is Nov 10 but I so want to get together with all you wonderful ladies.

Kelly – I love your analogy about relationships. Yes they do need to be worked or they will die a slow death. I love Teryn room. It is perfect for a little girl Cute pics of her painting and in the cheetah robe. I hope you and Teryn are feeling better.

Rosemarie – I too hate needles. I had to get blood drawn yesterday to test my hormone levels due to being on Zoladex injections and the Armidex. I dread getting any blood taken, having all my chemo treatments in my right hand and the blood draws in that arm have killed a lot of my veins. The nurse couldn’t find a small vein in my arm so had to use a butterfly needle to get it from my hand. Gave me the creeps reminding me of chemo.

Gracyie – New Years was fun. We just bought a new camera, 6 mega pixal from a 2 mega pixal. It takes great pictures. We also bought a I gig or is it mig card? Hi Graycie it you are your hair highlighted ask if they can use something that has more natural chemicals in it with less ammonia, does that stuff exist? I know it does in hair colour as I used a temporary rinse with no ammonia and my hair is still baby soft and didn’t fall out.

Have a great evening everyone. I am so glad that you ladies have entered my life. This is the only positive I can see that has come from having breast cancer.

Michele Wenz

Anonymous

Michelle, you must get so tuckered out after you come here to read and post!! You respond to all the current posts!! You are amazing ........ we knew that already, though!

Anonymous

LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER ASK A MEXICAN GRANDMA A QUESTION IF THEY AREN'T PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER. IN A TRIAL, IN A SMALL TOWN in TEXAS, A PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS, A MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN TO THE STAND.

HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, MRS SANCHEZ,"DO YOU KNOW ME?"

SHE RESPONDED, "SI, I MEANA, YES I KNOW YOU MR. WILLIAMS. I KNOWN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A CHAVALITO AND FRANKLY YOU'VE BEEN A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, AND YOU MANIPULATE PEOPLE AND TALK ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T THE BRAINS TO REALIZE YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO NOTHIN' BUT A TWO BIT PAPERPUSHER. YES I KNOW YOU."

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, MRS. SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?

SHE AGAIN REPLIED, "WHY YES I DO. I'VE KNOWN MR. RODRIGUEZ SINCE HE WAS A CHAVALITO TOO. HE'S LAZY, GORDO, AND HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH NOBODY AND HE HAS THE WORST LAW PRACTICE IN THE STATE. HA! AND NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PUTAS. ONE OF THEM WAS YOUR WIFE. YOU MEMBER? I KNOW MR. RODRIGUEZ, HIS MAMA IS NOT PROUD OF HIM."

THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED.

THE JUDGE ASKED BOTH COUNSELORS TO APPROACH THE BENCH AND IN A VERY QUIET VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU IDIOTS ASK HER IF SHE KNOWS ME, I"LL SEND YOU TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR.

sahalie

terynsmom;

I'm laughing myself right off my chair. That's a good one!
LOLOLOL

maryannecb

Hope my post yesterday didn't sound like I was always thinking about recurrence or dwelling on it to the point where I am not living. What I meant to say is simply that I do still worry from time to time. But, I am living and happy and sleeping well. I can run across the parking lot. I am planning different thing for the coming year without hesitation. It is just I feel that the future as I planned is not as certain as it was before all of this. I was so healthy prior to this I never gave my chances of a long life a second thought.

Being uncertain has it's advantages. Ir has forced me to live in today, to appreciate my family and friends, to think about what I can do to contribute to this world.

Michele you are right it is out of our hands . Rosemarie ,I too take comfort that I am not alone in this. Each of us has dealt with this in our own way.Tracy and Debbie, you two seem to have fast forwarded through all the emotional stuff.You are both right that there is no use wasting our NED time worrying but sometimes that is easier said than done, at least for me. And yes, Tracy, LIFE IS GOOD.

Laura, your surgeon gave you an antibiotic. Did you start it yet? If you have a fever or chills you should get checked out as maybe you need IV antibiotics. Hope things improve. Maybe you need to rest more. In any case ,hope this all settles down.

Bedtime!

Fists up!

sahalie

Quote:

---

I just have a hair question..Do you think it is OK to have my hair colored? Actually hi-lighted. Just wondered about the chemical's.

---

Hi Graycie,

I just colored my little soft curls yesterday with hesitation. I'm not sure I like it but was not ready to look a decade older than I am. I still wear my baseball caps when I go out so my head won't be so cold.
I used a temp color with no stinky chemicals. I did that from the suggestion of other gals on another thread about suggestions re: hair coloring.
My hair is like a half inch so it was easy.

marymelodi

Hello everyone;
I haven't been able to write for 2 days. On Wednesday I began to have a severe headache in the right front of my head. This was by far the worst headache pain I have ever had and the 3rd most painful time of my life (#1 was gall bladder disease and #2 was Taxol bone pain last year). I took OTC pain relievers - generic ibuprofen - with little effect. Woke up Thursday with the same pain. By Thursday evening I was vomiting. I got into the doctor's office this morning. After a check of the vital signs and neurological check points they gave me an injection of Torodal to try to get control of the pain and scheduled me for a head MRI tomorrow morning. I still have the headache. The injection worked to some extent, but I still have a painful head. The vomiting has subsided and I was able to eat tonight. The NP told me that she and the doctor are fairly sure there will be nothing unusual in the MRI results and that I likely have some kind of virus on top of the high stress I am under currently. Still, given that the pain is so localized in one spot and that pain medications are not very helpful I suppose they want to be sure nothing else is going on. I have no fever, no body ache, no sinus, no post-nasal drip, nothing that I've had before with virus or flu episodes. And, all the basic neurological functions seem to be okay - the 5 senses, balance, speech, coordination, gait, etc.

I have to say I am just a little worried, but trying to believe that NED will be the result of tomorrow's MRI. And, as many of us have said, if it is anything else, I'll just deal with it as I did before.

I'll be back in touch. I expect that there will not be any results until Monday or Tuesday, after the radiologist has had time to make a report.

Best wishes to all,
Mary

TracyNY

I hope you feel better soon Mary. I hate throwing up, ugh. Laura, don't be a martyr, call the doctor if you need to. I hope its nothing or can be easily remedied.

I have been sleeping like a lumberjack these past few nights. I fall asleep in my underwear, makeup on, tv going around 9pm and wake up the next morning. I don't what that's about. I don't think I work hard enough to be that exhausted.

Michele: Sorry about your puppy. You should call "The Dog Whisperer". He's the man. He can make all kinds of dogs act right. He has books too, maybe you can ask your husband for a reprieve and employ some new interventions to see if you can make the dogs get along.

Victoria: Did I miss the explanantion about your new screen name?

I think I'm going to make some pancakes. I'm kinda hungry.

ravdeb

Okay.. read everybody's messages. Took me forever. I laughed and I cried.

Laura..I'm worried about you. Please see the doc. And I agree with Victoria..surgeons are charming and caring..they want to see their jobs done well. Please go and let him fix you so he (and you) will be pleased!

Mary...I'm worried about you having such awful pain. I think that is worse than my back ache. I pray, pray, pray that the MRI just shows a creative, thinking brain doing what it is supposed to be doing.
You are in my thoughts..always.

TracyNY..You always make me smile. Your energy abounds and it must be all that shopping that is making you sleep so soundly in make-up all night long.

As for cooking on our Nov weekend.. I am a non-meat eater while outside of Israel (unless I'm at my sibs' or my parents' or other kosher family and friends)so do not be insulted. I am a grand salad eater and will offer to make salads! JFYI...I eat fish (not sea food), and all vegies and dairy products. But, I can live on whole wheat bread...I only eat whole wheat. I know..I'm difficult!

Michele..That is so sad about your puppy! But your dh is kind, Girl. My dh will not allow my dog in the house. On cold days she can sleep in the laundry room and I gave her one of our quilts (it was torn anyway) and Casey COVERS HERSELF WITH THE QUILT!!!

maryanne..I didn't think you dwelled on recurrence. I understood well that you have a corner of your mind saved for it. I think that is a way of preparing yourself for what could be. Maybe nothing will happen..but if it does, you will be emotionally ready for it.

I just wrote a long note to my close friend who is a rabbi, and I spoke about this very thing...being ready for it should it happen. It doesn't mean that I won't live life well now. In fact..it pushes me to live life even better and not to give up on things for "another time" but to do them now! If I live to be 90, then I will have enjoyed so much more. And if I don't, then I will have few regrets.

Debbie..you are right. Enjoy NED NOW!

Have a good Saturday.

debbie444

Ok Ladies, I have had nothing short of a miracle occur, and
I AM COMING TO AMERICA TO SEE YOU ALL!!!!!! ( With assorted Wards also)
The only problem is, I cant do November. I never shouted up when the dates were originally discussed as i thought there was a snowballs chance in h*** of me getting there. I could possibly get a day off but Catherines school is a big no no and I really cant do it on my own!!
The dates i can do are
10th Feb - 18th Feb
or
31Mar - 15 April
or
26 May 4 June
or
21 July - 3 Sept.

Ok - you can rely on me to throw a spanner in the works but hey, thats part of my charm!!

laura - go make that call, Mary - hope all goes well. The woman i work with is going for a scan too , only she has some facial paralysis as well. I hate throwing up, i cry like a baby!!

Tracey, i too am sleeping like a log - i call it the sleep of the just!!

Debbie

cathy987

As usual I want to be part of all the discussions but have difficulty keeping up

First, Mary, your latest scare has me praying that all will be well when you get your report. Stress can do awful things to us and I am hoping that is what has caused the pain.

Laura, I hope by the time you read this you have found some relief from your distress either from your surgeon or from the antibiotics.

As to the discussion about fear of reoccurrence. here’s my take on it. We all have different ways of looking at it depending on our personalities and where we are in our lives. We’re all on the same mountain but the view is different depending where we are on that mountain.

I think I’m pretty much where Mary-Anne is. But I can also see and appreciate where Kelly is with her added concern and love for Teryn and her determination for that love to continue for a long time. I can also understand where Amy is, with her whole life ahead of her. These are examples of how we can understand without the experience because we are open to really listening to what is being shared.

Laura and Victoria, you are keeping us all focused on the fact that not only for us, but for all those others who follow us, we need to become passionate about finding a cure.

And Victoria, you should not be burned at the stake for expressing exactly what your view is from this mountain. I believe your most passionate and true statement was, “We need one another more than ever in the coming years for support, I think.”

We need each other and the space to express exactly where we are at and know we are safe when we do that. This is a serious commitment we are making to each other.

And as Kelly so clearly said we need the spirit of TracyNY and Debbie’s views from that mountain to keep our “chin out of our beers.” LOL

Thanks Maryanne for the info on dragon boat racing. I do know there are festivals in Hong Kong but have always missed them when there. I had a call from a friend in Minnesota,last night who just bought a kayak for me that I had ordered. She’s bringing it to me in June and I can’t wait to try it out. We have a little tiny lake we made on our farm where I will launch it first–then will take it to my Minnesota lake cottage in August.

Finally, last Herceptin on Thursday along with echogram and mammogram.. Then on to every three month schedule. Finally called the ps for a date for my exchange–earliest date available is June 4 but am on a waiting list for Februaty 16 when I will be in NY. Am anxious to get rid of the 900cc bag of saline that sits way off center of what was my left breast.

Make it a good weekend sisters.

RoseMarie

Recipes for our get together - I have a mean recipe for black beans and rice that goes (at least in my Cuban house) well with the pork roast! Also, someone posted a recipe for a french toast dish that I made this a.m. and it was SOOOOO good!!! I tried to find it again but the "search" on this site has never worked for me. I think it was in "moving beyond." Anyway, soooo yummy!!!!
Ravdeb - my sister (the crazy one with 9 kids) grinds her own wheat! She makes all her bread, tortillas, you name it. We all tease her and call her the Little Red Hen!
Debbie - YAY! Can't wait - dates are not an issue for me so ya'll just say the word and I'll be there!
Mary & Laura - hope you are both WELL!!! Thinking only GOOD thoughts for both of you!!!
Michele - thinking about you too and your hard decision!
Kelly - lol-hope Teryn is feeling better today...

It's 2:20 and I'm still in my pjs...think I'll shower and really get on with my day!! I have mopped the floor, however, so I'm not a total slacker - I liked Graycie's article about bc & housework doing a little bit of prevention wherever I can.
Have a great day ladies!!

ravdeb

I'll e-mail you but pm me your e-mail address.

I'm planning a trip to the States this Feb. Are you talking about this Feb, Debbie? I can't do the summer months. I need to look at the calendar for the other dates you had there. So, at this point, Feb looks good for me.

I agree with Victoria and I do believe TracyNY mentioned that we should all stay in a hotel. That would be totally fun, would not make anyone be a hostess, and there are some great hotels in downtown Chicago so we could do lots of fun things. Great pubs and restaurants. This is what my college friends have done..slumber parties in a hotel room! Lots of wine. No driving. Just laughing in jammies!

And...I agree with Cathy...this is the place to say what we feel and feel safe about it. I like the idea that we are looking from different views on a mountain. We each have our ways of seeing things because of the experiences we have had in life and because of where we are on our life's journey.

RoseMarie..your sister with 9 kids grinds her own wheat??? OMG! She IS crazy! Where does she find the energy to do that??? I'm a totally lazy bum!

Just got done video chatting with my parents. It's so late. Must get to bed. The hour difference is terrible!

I'm thrilled that Debbie can join us so let's make some plans for a different date.

Where's Paula???

Graycie

All this talk about feeling down, I am right there with you. I think we all go through that from time to time. We wouldn't be normal if we didn't. When I start feeling that way I try to push all the negative thoughts away or I will drive myself crazy. Like Tadah said......"Life is Good."

Laura, I love your license plate. I hope you are feeling better. Sorry you are in pain. I hope the antibiotics are working for you. I may be calling for some myself. I think I have a sinus infection that is now draining into my throat and ears and I can't talk....No voice....It is driving me crazy....Probably everyone else like's it.....lol...I am the worse when it comes to calling the doctor but I would call him if you don't feel better but maybe you should give the antibiotic time to work. .

Kelly, How are you and Teryn? I saw "Family Stone" and I also cried....Now movies like that is what make's reality set in. I don't like to watch those movies. I love Teryn's room. I went to Lowes but they didn't have the little samples of paint but my local hardware store did. So I got a few and hate them all.......lol.......When I feel better I will try again. That joke was funny about the lawyers. I read that before. heee

Tracy,NY, How Yummy, I would love to taste your food. It sound's like you are a good cook. I have a lot of allergies but not to food......Well, I do, but that doesn't stop me from eating.

Michele, Sorry what you are going through with the puppy. I know how attached you can get but you don't need anymore stress in your life. My daughter also had to get rid of her puppy and she cried her eye's out but it was the best thing to do. He was stressing everyone out, he was cute but chewed everything in the house including her glasses which he got off her dresser.. He even chewed a hole in the floor. The vet told her this was not normal since he was almost a year old so I guess that made her feel a little better that she was doing the right thing. As for Feb 7th, you will be NED so don't worry.

Cheryl, I looked in the mirror and I decided to wait on the hi-lights until my hair get's a little longer. I did get a temporary color and put it on. Not sure if it did much but it is OK.

May, I am so sorry you are experiencing the headaches. I wonder if it is a migraine. I used to get them all the time with the same symptoms when I was going through menopause. Now my poor sister is getting them. Good Luck on the results........

Debbie, That is wonderful news.........I think any of those dates are OK with me.

Cathy, Yeah, we will soon be celebrating your last Herceptin.......

Victoria, I agree with you about us finding a place to stay and not imposing on Laura.....There is just too many of us. I would never do that to her. Ravdeb, I just read your post...sound's like fun. We could get a block of rooms.

Better go this is getting too long....Hi to everyone I missed......

Gail

Anonymous

Mary -
I am quite concerned about you! Although the timing of your symptoms really could be stress. That wouldn't be unusual based on what you've endured and what you are currently dealing with. I'm happy you're doc is taking the diagnostic stepsIt's now Saturday night, please let us know how you are doing.

Graycie -
I died my hair and had highlights put in months ago (when it was still new/virgin hair). I really think you'll have no problems if you decide to do it. How about jet black with hot pink highlights! LOL NOT!

Michele -
Sorry about the pooch - I hope it all works out. It's so sad when things like this happen involving a pet.

Worldy-One -
Thursday...last Herceptin...congrats to you. Yay! Good luck with your tests! And best wishes with the exchange...wow - 900cc's, momma mia! LOL

ravdeb -
Video chatting with mom and pop...that's great!

Victoria -
I'm copying and pasting this post and sending it to you, via e-mail.

Hi Girls -
I talked to the surgeon, he still does not think it's an infection, but more like a virus/flu. I had the chills today, but no fever. I took some pain meds this morning and then threw them up because I didn't have enough food in my stomach to absorb them, but I was too nauseous to eat. I'm now beginning to think that maybe the antibiotic can be a part of the cause, but I started feeling like crap on Wednesday and didn't start the anti's until Thursday night. I don't know exactly what to think. I also have a little heart burn, and that happens to be a side of the anti's. I'm going to rest the remainder of the weekend and see the surgeon again on Monday at 1:00. Thanks for all the advice. I appreciate it.

Any dates are good for me...I just have to know what's decided so I can book a vacation to Mexico. June is a beautiful time here... Would you all be flying in on a Friday and then flying home on Sunday? Or...? I would love to have you all over to our place on Saturday perhaps? It might be nice to all get together here instead of a restaurant that's loud and busy...but I'm open to whatever is decided. You're right - with this many, I'm not sure you'd all be comfy sleeping here. But, anyone is welcome to whip up a culinary favorite - our kitchen is quite roomy. (We have spare bedrooms for anyone that does want to stay here, though.) You could stay in downtown Chicago or the Marriott (Lincolnshire) that's not far from here. They have a small theatre for plays and an outdoor pool and I think an indoor pool too. They may even have shuttles to downtown or other areas. Let's start throwing out some dates, some get-together ideas, etc. Again, I'm open to whatever works for everyone.

Paula...come in Paula...

and I'm still worried about Sherry.

Laura