2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS
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Mary... Mine was at 12:00 and now that I think about it..it may have been about midnight when I found it! I was in bed watching a movie and just put my hand there and there it was!
Also..my onc does my breast exams both sitting and laying down. I'm large breasted..back to DD
Victoria.. I make all my own cards but I used to make simple drawings that I could whip up quickly. I always have the paper around for matting them and so on. I have never made a series of them for tons of people, though, like for our New Year when people tend to send cards out to everybody.
I did design my daughter's Bat Mitzvah invitations way back when and had them printed up professionally. First time and last time I've ever done that. They came out pretty good, too!
Good luck getting through marketing your house and moving from there. I know it's going to be difficult to leave, but if you feel this is the best route, then just jump into it with all your heart, which I'm sure you will do.
As for my teeth and nails..my nails are awful since chemo..breaking all the time no matter how short I keep them. I was wearing nail polish all summer to keep them from breaking and that worked but the Huggies I use to clean my stamps for some of my card making wash the nail polish off so I gave up on the polish!
Paula..I also hated drinking milk as a kid. My parents would force it..make us sit at the table til it was finished. When I was in kindergarten they would give us these little cartons of milk and a cookie to eat. I could NOT finish that milk even though I'd look around and see how the other kids were enjoying theirs and I would try to enjoy mine, too! But I hated it! I still do. One time, the teacher made me finish my milk and she left me to sit on my chair while the others gathered around for storytime. I rocked on my chair and fell over. They rushed me to the nurse. I was crying and my face would get all blotchy when I cried so they thought I was sick. They called my mom to come and get me! That's how much I hated milk!!!!! -
mary - ravdeb -
My largest tumor...3.9cm was smack dab at 12:00. The smaller one was...I think at 2:00. But my bro's g-friend's is near the sternum, in fact it's attached to the sternum, which I read is also rare.
OT - I am so impressed and in awe at all the creativity our group posesses! I think having a creative outlet is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves! IMO
Laura -
mine was right at 9:00. right on the right outer side.
does anyone still get really pissed off or defensive when someone says, "how are you feeling" or "you look so great!" i saw an old friend from college and it's so annoying when i get those questions because it reduces me to this sick, ugly cancer patient....which by the way....i never really was! when people say, "how are you feeling?" i just say, "i'm feeling great. how are you feeling?" -
I get annoyed when people say "You look good" with a surprised tone in their voice. Wait, didn't I always look good before all this? And are you expecting me to look like death warmed over?
I make it my business to look extra fabulous just for that reason. -
Tracy, you don't just look extra fabulous, you ARE exxxtra fabulous!
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I think most people simply do not know what to say. If they don't acknowledge it, I think they think, they're being insensitive or uncaring. Maybe I'm just naive.
Amy your response is great...how are you feeling? Throw it back! LOL
Laura -
Amy: I like the response also. Lately I'm getting alot of comment on my hair because I have started blow drying it and putting curls in the front. My hair would never curl with blow drying or with a curling iron. Now, just a short poof of hot air and I've got curls to last all day. It makes my face look better, I think. More of an oval than a round face.
Comments usually don't bother me too much. As my husband says, "it's better than the alternative." I'd rather have people telling me to my face that I look good than the classic "Doesn't she look good?" as I lay in a casket. By the way, I do not like the open casket viewing tradition and will not let it happen to me, if my survivors follow my instructions. I'm planning that by the time I pass on my survivors will be the grandchildren of my nieces and nephews. I have no kids of my own so I'm hoping to be like the benevolent aunt who everyone respects and loves.
Amy - do you feel better?
ravdeb: My taste for skim milk has been growing alot lately. It started with my doctor's comments about getting enough vitamin D and calcium. I try to have at least 2 servings (8 oz a day) but want to get up to 3 servings. I often like a little something right when I come home to keep me from snacking before dinner. Last night, I tried a glass of milk and that was good until dinner time. I'm trying to have it with my meals, also. It works for me.
Tadah: I agree with Terynsmom . . . you are fabulous! I envy your spirit and approach to life. I need to follow your example of always looking good!
Going back to work now. Have a good day!
Mary -
Amy..that's what I say to others, too. But one woman made some comment to me when I did that about how she hadn't gone through what I've gone through. When others tell me that my hair looks great, I tell them that theirs does too! But, they don't only ask me how I'm feeling. They ask me how my follow ups are going. I tell them that I've only had one and all is well and these follow ups are routine like all doctor follow ups. I'm trying to hint to them that I don't ask them how their dentist appointment went, or if they've seen their gynecologist recently....
Tadah..you really ARE fabulous. I absolutely love, love, love your attitude about life and how you do things cuz it makes you feel beautiful (and you ARE!) or good or it's fun or you buy something because you like it. I love this. I'm trying to do the same thing. You've inspired me. I love how you joke about things. And the song you chose for the CD is so YOU! You are just so full of life. I love that.
I could use a few laughs. Am feeling down. I hate when I get like this. I used to be able to say that it was pms, but there is no 'm' anymore so NOW what can I blame it on??? -
I've been looking up the lyrics for all the songs on our CD and I found this..you are gonna LOVE this!!!...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXikIwIFNqE -
OK, i missed something. Who is moving house? ( guess thats what marketing means in Ravdebs post)
I am feeling smug as i have done all of my Christmas shopping , now can just sit back and let it happen!!
I just LOVE milk ( especially on crunchy nut cormflakes - mmmmmmmmm!) Never liked it at school tho as it was always slightly warm , it has to be really chilled. My sister has a real phobia bout milk. If one of her kids has a drink of milk in a glass and doesny rinse it out she cant move the glass. Its weird!!
Rosemarie, how do i describe a conservatory? ( should be able to as thats Rogers company!) They are popular over here as a way to extend your house that doesnt need planning permission. They are like an extra room, only mostly glass. OUrs has one tall wall, to ceiling height, then the rest are about 2ft high, the rest is frames and glass. The roof has a ridge and that is glass/plastic too. Ours is opaque to cut down on glare in Summer. Ours has made a big difference as our lounge was small, about 12 ft x 12ft, The conservatory off it is about 17ft by 15ft and Roger has built it without any interbal doors so now we have a bigger ( more American !) space.
Are you a cub leader??? If so you need a medal about as big as a dinner plate!!
Marks fund raising for his Cheif Cubs Award is going well. Somehow, he has managed to talk his head teacher into letting him have the collections that are taken during the Christmas Concerts. How, I am not sure. He is still aiming for £50 , I know that he has actually raised over £100 so far so that will be a nice surprise for him.
Ravdeb, invest in a light box??? Has this come on with the darker weather??
DEbbie -
Dear sisters,
This morning has been one of mixed blessings for me. When I arrived at work there was your wonderful CD Laura in todays mail. I watched immediately and cried and laughed and thought how wonderful you women are and how you have become real people to me and my best friends. Youll never know how much it means to me to be included with this wonderful groupThank you all and especially Laura for this gift.
Then I turned to my phone messages where I learned that my favorite and last aunt had died in Fargo. June had suffered for at least the past five years from Alzheimers and her death was expected. I had visited her on Sunday after returning from a trip to Missouri. At that time she was up, dressed and able to talk but very hard to understand. Tuesday I had a call from her daughter in Texas who said that they couldnt wake her that morning and she was running a temperature and all signs were that her life was ending. She has four children and theyre all coming this week to Fargo and the funeral will be next week. I know this is a blessing for her and for her children but I feel like its the end of a chapter in my life and I am mourning that.
Please forgive me if I dont post for a few days. Tying up loose ends here at year-end is taking more time than I thought possible. How did I ever do everything last year when I was in the middle of treatment?
Love you all. -
Sorry to hear about the loss of your auntie. Its never easy losing a loved one, far less one of your favourites. I'll remember you in my prayers.
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Cathy..how very sad. Even when it's expected, it's hard. I know what you mean...the end of an era, a chapter.. a part of your life. Please accept my sympathies...
Several years ago my great-aunt died. Avi and I had been there to visit her just before she died. She was fine, but old and had slowed down a lot and had some heart problems. She lived in a big hi-rise in the middle of downtown Chicago..right on the lakefront. We had to park in her spot under her building so she walked us down to the parking garage. And as we drove away (I picture this often in my mind)she waved to us and I said to Avi that that would probably be my last time I would see her. And it was.
She was a lovely, lovely woman who I adored. She baked flavorless cookies that I ate as though I had never eaten anything so good. She was the last of my grandmother's sibs. I loved them all. My uncle (her brother) and I were very close and I couldn't believe it when he passed away. He and this aunt were very close and he had given her many of his things, including this apartment that she lived in. She gave me a set of silverware (real silver) that was his and an old coffee grinder. We use the silverware all the time because I love it..it was his.
How I miss my aunt and think of her every single time I go to downtown Chicago. I loved her so much...
Debbie.. Victoria and her hubby are going to sell their house and move back to the city to be closer to family.
A conservatory is a hothouse! I wanted to make our family room into a conservatory...all windows. I love that. In Florida they call them closed in porches.
No, Debbie..it's sunny here. I'm on the beach in the sun just about every day. Although it's very bad for Israel because we've had very little rain except for those few days when I complained, I love this weather..cool and sunny. Perfect. So, my down mood is not that and it's not my cancer, either. It's just stuff, I guess. Life... Tomorrow will be better!!!! I've had this moody stuff just about all my life. I'm too intense! -
Ravdeb sorry you feeling down..
i know Xmas is not celebrated in Israel, but is there something else that reminds you of this time last year?
Frankly, every time i look at Xmas decorations, rather than making me joyous, it just reminds me of being sad, sick and bald..
Actually, Xmas hasnt been a good time for me in the last few years... all my breakups and all major life changes been happening to me around this time of year... weird. -
Cathy -
I'm so happy you enjoyed the movie of us, but so very sorry for your loss. A new star shines in the beautiful blue sky.
Laura -
Paula -
I see your zest for life and the beauty of youth in your avatar! Please try to put last year's happenings in your past. We have come a long way since then...you have been courageous and strong and determined. Now start saving those pennies, girl, because we want you to join us when we get together! LOL
Laura -
Wow, three days and so many posts.
Laura your DVD arrived. Amazing. Thanks so much ,it is a great remembrance of last year and our growing friendship. My kids were all over me about talking with people on the net and receiving a package. I have net-proofed them over and over. Once they watched the disc they understood why I disappear to the computer from time to time. I can't wait to show my Mom, she thought I lost it last year when I would sit on here for hours, reading and posting. Maybe I had? LOL.
Interesting to see all the stats.I am sure Kelly will have a new list sorted by stage, another with ER?pr status and Her2 status...
Paula, I carry my phone on the right, tumor was left.
Rosemarie.We had the same number of nodes removed and positive. Weird.My paternal aunt also died of breast cancer. She was post menopausal. She was a nurse and also had locally advanced disease. Must have been aggressive.I agree denial or moving beyond is a wonderful thing. Gives us lots of time to live normally. It is really when I sit down at the computer that I do most of my thinking about all this.
Debbie, your hematoma story sounds frightful. It must have been pretty painful too. How did the area heal. Lucky you did not develop LE! Was that your car in the DVD? I remember when you had the MVA, wow it is amazing you walked away. You must be a cat and have 7 more lives. I had three Xmas concerts in a row, now done. Phew. Your dog is looking great, hope his Do went well.What ever happened to the "attack" dog?
Kelly, super that your nodes were negative.Glad to hear you are thriving.
Tracey, I am still loving the CD.
Michelle, I did a retreat last summer. It was fun and inspiring. Many there had survived many years, it was good to hear their stories. I am a GP. I have babies to 90 year olds. I even do housecalls! Only if necessary. I too screen women at 40 or before if a family history. I was a Breast screening failure. Found my lump myself. I still cannot believe how big it got and how fast.I think better screening is needed. I read that 25% of premenopausal BC is not detected on screening mammo. Hardly a reliable test...
Tadah, I think all those "you look good" statements are people saying they are glad you look healthy and wondering if you are OK.Most are pretty well-intentioned I think. I just say thanks and give a big smile no matter how discouraged I am feeling. My good friends might get the real story out of me.
Victoria, moving? Makes me tired thinking about it. How long have you lived where you are? I related to your story about the Xmas decorations. I am planning to sort and tidy my decorations this year. I was having a morbid thought that I can't let anyone else see the mess of my boxes...
Mary, my lump was in three out of 4 quadrants at surgery time. It started at4, 0'clock. The pathology described the 9cm IDC like this "the size of the tumor is difficult to assess, as the tumor has infiltrated existing breast parenchyma, rather than replacing it, as seen in the usual carcinoma. However all of the samples are involved with tumor." I picture it as a spreading ink blot through my breast. It just kept getting bigger. I am sure in two more weeks it would have broken the skin.
Fists up! -
Laura - i want nothing more than to be able to hug all of you brave ladies!! One day...
Victoria, thanks as always for your warm words...
Yesterday i crashed my bike and fell and it HURRRRT.... i had to sit on the grass for about half an hour for my head to stop spinning. Today i am limping and sore all over. But it feels strangely good to have pains that i know for sure have NOTHING to do with cancer... now how sad/weird is that??
and now for a bit of humour. I bought a pink t-shirt the other day. It actually had nothing to do with BC awareness, research, or charity. The only reason i bought it, its because it has this written on the front: "Save a horse, ride a cowboy"! ok, it might be my weird sense of humour, but i thought it was hilarious. So i am wearing it today to work (casual dress day) and dont care what my boss thinks!! -
"Save a horse, ride a cowboy" is a county song, sang by Big & Rich, I love that song. I would love to find a shirt like that also. My Mom, bless her heart, she went out and bought me hats, shirts, socks and sleep shirts that had breast cancer logo on them. I told her that she wanted me to be a walking bill board for breast cancer. I do love pink shirts just don't want to draw any more attention to myself as it is, I'm still bald, wearing hats and scarfs, I can't believe the how people stare at me. With it getting cold here I wish my hair would hurry up and grow back.
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Your hair will grow! Sorry you have to get through the winter, though!
Paula..I love that.. save a horse...
I think that I THINK too much! I have no connection to "this time of year" because OUR "this time of year" is in the Fall and we have passed it. There is no atmosphere here with the holiday season as you see it in Australia and in the rest of the world. Chanukah starts tonight but it's not a religious holiday and pretty low on the list of Important Holidays.
OUCH! Sorry you got hurt on your bike. I do know what you mean, though..that is like..normal! But you scared me cuz I STILL have not tried out my bike with the new seat and my new helmet for just that reason!!!!!
Victoria..thanks...so..I'm normal?? hmmmmmmm..some people in my imediate world would debate you on that!!!! -
Paula , a push bike or motorbike?? I thikn falling over hurts more as we get older. When i fell off of Marks skateboard i just lay in agony on the floor , looking up at concerned little faces. The conversation went like this
" Mum are you OK ?"
" I dont know"
" Can you get up?"
" Not yet no!!!"
Then Roger - " what really made you think you could jump a 3 ft ramp ???"
Well, if Mark and his uncoordinated 9 yr old friends could, i presumed i could!!
Maryanne, yes thats my car! That was a year ago now, cant believe it. What really rankles is that i ripped the elbow on my shirt and it was only the 2nd time i had worn it.
The dog that got Sam has been taken to a Lurcher rescue. Whether they will be able to do anything with it, or hit it on the back of teh head with a shovel ( as the lad in the local shop sp clearly put it) I dont know.
I loved getting my Christmas things out this year, I have been and bought loads more. I am here !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strange thing, i loved Tetris, and when i was off, played it for hours. Now i cant, it makes me sad, because of what it reminds me of.
Mark off tonight to sleep over, Catherine coming back from retreat this afternoon, no doubt with a bag of muddy washing. Time capsule tomorrow. The cubs are celebrating 90 years, and every cub in the district have done something to be buried in the capsule, to be dug up in the future. They think they have found one buried 60 years ago but it is under a new wall which they have to take down first. It has taken them weeks to find it, didnt think scouts were supposed to lose things!!
Debbie -
Debbie its a pushbike!! I am not brave enough for a motorbike... although i do contemplate getting a scooter. After my trip to Europe i fell in love with scooters.
If this illness had one silver lining, it made me a lot more decisive. I always WANTED to do a lot of things. Now i am actually going out there and doing them.
Today i went to a salsa class! Now that was fun. Tomorrow me and a few girlfriends are off to a salsa party.
I want to get a tatoo. I want to go mountain skiing. I want to travel more.
So what are you girls wanting/planning to do that you have been putting off? -
Paula..that is terrific! that is how it should be!
I have decided that when I want to, I buy plane tickets (within reason of course!) to the States to see my family. No more putting it off.
I say no when I mean no and not maybe.
I don't wear a watch anymore and I just follow the sun... -
Hello everyone
Name: Scottishlass (Jill)
Age at DX: 41
Date of DX: Sept 05
Which breast: left
Type of Biopsy for DX: Needle
Type of BC: ??
Size of invasive tumor/s: largest 2.5cm
Size of in-situ tumor: ????
Stage: 2
Grade: ??
ER: ??
PR: positive I think if this is the estrogen test
Her2neu: negative
ki-67: ??
Mastectomy or Lumpectomy: Mast.
When: September 05
If Mastectomy, single or double: single
Clean Margins?: ???
Prophylactic Mastectomy: no
SN Biopsy: yes
Sent. Node Positive or Negative: positive
Axillary Dissection: yes
How many nodes were removed: all on left side
Positive Lymph Node/s: yes
If yes, how many were positive:2
Reconstruction: no
If yes, what type: n/a
Chemo: yes
Radiation: yes
Tamoxifen: yes
AI, Arimidex, etc.: no
Herceptin: no
How was your bc discovered: Health check
Did bc show up on Mammo?: yes
Did bc show up on breast MRI?: yes extra lumps found
Did bc show up on an US?: yes
# of B9 biopsies prior to DX: 1 biopsy - 20 years ago other breast
BRCA 1&2 status: ??
Lymphedema: yes
Tumor Markers?: ??
Specific notes, complications, remarks, etc. re: your DX, treatment or current status:
Like Debbie from England, we in Scotland do not have the same set of tests as seems to be common in USA. However the treatment I received was as good as it gets(I think)
I found my lump by sheer chance Private Healthcheck taken as I had week off work before new contract. The doctor did manual check and did not find anything but I had the option of the mammo so thought well, I might as well have that !!!! and it showed up and originally diagnosed as probably b9
There - hope that includes everything
Bye Jill -
hi ladies,
paula....i'm glad you weren't hurt badly! it's so weird when we get excited about pains we know have nothing to do with cancer! i'm hacking and my nose is totally stuffed up, but at least i know it's a cold. whew!
i'm off to my parents for the weekend.
happy chanukah -
Debbie -skateboarding...on a ramp??!! You GO girl!! A conservatory sounds absolutely beautiful!! BTW, I'm the assistant den leader only because I have a hard time saying NO. (Haven't learned that lesson yet-guess I'm hard headed!) I'm also the Girl Scout cookie mom for the same reason!!
Paula - I hope you're not too sore today! Snow skiing is on my list of things I'd like to do too. I think I've said this before but I try to say "yes" a lot more when it comes to the kids and try not put things off for later.
Victoria - all my best in your decision making! It's hard, I know! I bet the bag is beautiful!
TaDah - I love your spirit!!
I haven't really been too offended by others but I am always surprised by the different ways people boldly ask if I'm ok like, "Well, are you cured? Will the cancer come back?" Who asks that??? The only time I got a bit miffed was when my neighbor said in reference to me being sick, "I don't know what my husband would do if I were in your shoes. I don't think he could handle it if I died." What????? I come up with great retorts later - I tend to mull things over and over...and over. I said nothing...being the bold person I am...NOT.
Ravdeb - hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!!
I'm off to Tallahassee this afternoon (woohoo, all alone) I'm flying in tonight and coming back home on Sunday - my nephew is getting married. I hope to just hang out with my sister after the wedding. We talk on the phone every day but it'll be nice to just sit, chat and drink coffee!
Lots of love ladies!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!!! -
Paula -
Ouch! Has Debbie's daredevil antics rubbed off on you? LOL I love the t-shirt you bought!
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson (one of my favorites):
Always do what you are afraid to do.
This is something I follow post diagnosis.
Have a wonderful Friday everyone!
Laura -
One more thing...this morning at 11:45, I have my 3 month Onc. visit. I'm curious if he'll order blood tests, since believe it or not...I don't have any major complaints or worries! Imagine that, girls! LOL My minor complaint, however, is still the muscle/joint/bone pain. But I think that is related more to RA. I need to schedule an appt. with my Rheumatologist to talk about this. I feel some "crunching" going on in my knee caps, and my right hip is bothering me.
Laura -
Rosemarie - that happened to me and my bestest friend when the lads were in beavers. We ended up assistant leaders as we were the only ones who didnt say an outright no!!
Paula - stick to the push bike!! I used to have a motorbike, a really beautiful thing, with full racing faring. If truth be known it scared me to death!! Now, i just have the leather jacket left. kept it in case the kids want it as they get older.
As for what i want to do.
I was having a tatto when all of this kicked off, that i will get around to doing. Roger has promised to come to Salsa lessons with me so will do that. I have said no to being a cub leader !!!! When we can afford it we will travel, see more. When my camper is restored we will be back on the road, doing the Run to the Sun and Bug Jam.
I would love to toboggan - no balance for skiing!!
Laura, will be interesting to hear what they say. I get joint pain from the Tamox/oophrectomy/chemo - take your pick (!) but , i used to have knees that sounded like velcro when i went up stairs. That has gone, completely.
Debbie
PS what are
Sloppy Joes
Lose meat sandwich
Twinkys
?????????????????????????????????????????????????? -
Whooo hooo! Friday again! I feel as if one day I'm going to wake up and be 65 years old. It seems like every time I look up its Friday.
This weekend I think I'm going to rearrange my storage units and take a thorough inventory, get rid of stuff that my taste has evolved past and tidy up. That's a whole days work right there.
My left nipple fell a little flat and when I went to my PS he injected it with filler and it jumped to attention! Bwahhh!! I can't wait for summer. I'm going to get my piercing and more filler so the world can stare at my hooters!
My knees "crunch" too Laura and I just turned 40. Its old age girl!
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