2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

Anonymous

Laura and Mary-Anne, thanks for sharing your photos and feelings about your walks. They are truly emotion filled days. I can't believe your friend cried the whole way, she must really love you and be in shock over how many families are effected by bc.

Mary, I hope you feel better soon. You were there in spirit, you can't help it if you get sick.

ake

laura and maryanne...your pictures made me cry. thanks laura for putting our names on the shirt. why do these walks make us so emotional anyways? i put my pink ribbon pin on today and plan to wear it throughout the month. also, if you go to target...they have lots of pink ribbon things and they seel pink york peppermint patties (my absolute favorite candy) and all proceeds go to the young survival coalition. my husband had to stop me from buying them all...i'm so proud that there are products going to us young women...it needs to be known that it happens to us.

i'm all moved in my house and i love love love it. i unpacked for 5 hours straight yesterday and we're almost in order. it's so different to be away from the city (where we used to live) and more in the suburbs. it was amazing to wake up in our room with the windows open and hear only crickets. i'm starting to feel calm

love you all!

-amy

marymelodi

Wonderful to hear your news, Amy!

Cough-cough . . . this is awful. Can't wait to get home to bed again.

Mary

TracySeattle

I too put my bc pin on this morning and plan to wear it all month....

I will have to go check out Target - I am such a sucker for Pink Ribbon items now and I do try to buy things when I can that support the bc cause. There is a whole list of Partners on the Komen website. Amazing how many women deal with this disease, all of the clothing, accessories and now even a magazine..... You would think they could find a cure!!

Mary!!! Feel Better!!!

Amy - so glad you are moved and happy! It must be so nice to live somewehre that is more peaceful for you!

Anonymous

I had my treatment today and it was tough. There was a lady there, all her hair was not yet gone, and she smiled at me, I said hello and she kept talking and I didn't realize it. So, I walked back and asked what she was saying. We talked a bit more and she told me how this was her second round of the beast. 10 years ago she had cancer ... Stage II. Now it came back as Stage III and had metasisized. (Must have truly been Stage 4 on the 2nd go round, I assume). Anyway, I was not seated near her so I went to my seat, later heard her getting sick.

Then I saw another lady, about 60 years old, across from me, she had been so chipper and her hair was all there, not short at all. I assumed she must have been there for something other than chemo, since they infuse the hepatitis and R.A. patients there as well. After a while, I saw them bring the Red Devil to her. It must have been her very first infustion. She didn't even cry. Cancer just keeps getting new patients and won't leave the old ones alone.

It all just made me cry. I am home and have been in bed, in and out of sleep from the meds and so depressed.

TracySeattle

Oh Kelly! I am so sorry you had a hard day. It is so hard to watch others have to deal with this....

We love you!

maryannecb

Talking to others who have relapsed is so discouraging...and seeing new people every day join in our journey sucks too. I don't know what to say Kelly, just hope you wake up in the morning feeling better. Have a nice breakfast with Teryn. She is sure to make you smile.

I had a MUGA today if all is well I will complete my Herceptin in December. My teeny tiny veins can't take muany more procedures and treatments.

I was profiled in the local paper for our Run. It was strange being interviewed. I wasn't sure what I had said so was a little worried how it would all look on paper. Anyway,the header was "Cancer survivorin Run for the Cure", then beneath it said"Campbell viewed as symbol of hope for many". I was pleased to see the positive spin.

Tadah ,someone else is painting...that is good.

Mary I am passing you a cyber cup of hot water with lemon and honey in it.

Laura-I just now your pics from your run. I love your groups name and the t-shirt is beautiful. The last time I read the post I only saw one pic ..???

Amy you look very well in the pics with your brother. What medium does he use?

I am officially as NED as you can get.Last week I talked to my GP about how I was having difficulty sleeping. She offered the usual advice, exercise, no bedtime snacks and occ sedatives. I said what i really needed was a bone scan. So on Thursday afternoon, the same day. I lay my body under the scanner. The tech chatted away about this and that. The only question she asked was "are you having pain in your back?" My heart sank as of course I am who isn't? I got the call the next day that all was fine but for 24 hours last week I was so worried.The radiologist called me herself on Friday with the good news.

So today I am turning over a new leaf. I motivated the kids to muck out the basement with me. I have let the house fall all around me over the last year. Seeing as I am NED and feeling good I have no excuses left. I think I got the bug from Tadah. Who knows perhaps I'll paint next.

Fists up!

RoseMarie

AAAAGGH!!!!!! My one beef with these boards is how easy it is to lose your post. Ok...were do i begin??? (again...)

Oh poo...I love you all and will respond again later when my frustration wears off....

BTW - We got your package today Debbie - THANK YOU !!!!!! How exciting and DELICIOUS!!! THANK YOU!!!!

Laura - I was very moved by our names on your shirt!

RoseMarie

If you will all please yell "finish your homework" at the count of 3 maybe my son will get the message...1...2...3
ok...time to get off this computer...he didn't get the message

Graycie

Amy, Congratulations on moving in and Loving it! You deserve to have something good in your life for a change. I work at Target, well I don't work for them but I am a merchandiser and I service that store. I mostly do the costume jewelry but I never seem to get out of there without spending money. I am going there tomorrow so I will have to check out all the BC goodies. I love peppermint patties too so I am sure I will buy some of those. And I wonder why I have a weight problem.....lol

Gosh Mary, I am sorry you are still feeling bad. You better get some rest, maybe you should take tomorrow off. I agree with Maryanne you need some hot lemonade with honey. It always seems to make me feel better when I am sick.

Kelly, What treatment do you get? Herceptin? I hate hearing about reoccurences. Did anyone watch the Ellen show today? It was about BC. I missed it except for the last half. My daughter watched it and I think she said there was a women on there that had a reocurrence after 20 yrs. Isn't that strange? Too bad we didn't know Ellen was doing a show on BC. Maybe we could have gotten on her show since Oprah doesn't want us........

Rosemarie, write your message in an e-mail and then copy and paste it below. That way you won't lose it........

Anonymous

Graycie, I am her2+++ like Mary-Anne. So, I still have 10 more treatments to go. With herceptin you have to have 52 treatments. The 1st twelve are once a week, after that some doctors allow you to get a triple dose, every 3 weeks.

So, even though I am a year out from dx and a year from when we all started chemo --- I still get faced with this every 3 weeks. Like Victoria said, I do feel others pain but I also have fear for myself. Here this lady was plugging along for 10 years and whammo! Too bad they can't isolate us from all that but I am sure my healthy look is encouraging to them. So for that reason alone I am glad we are with them. I will have to learn to stay upbeat even there.

ravdeb

Hi Ladies..

Just took who knows HOW long to get though all these posts. I think I was only gone a day!!

Mary..hope you are feeling better!

maryanne and Laura..what beautiful pictures! How nice that your kids joined you maryanne. You look wonderful!!

Laura..how sweet to put our names on your shirt! That is very cool. I was really moved by that.

I have all of your names typed in pink next to my computer with all of your birthdays. Brenda's is next. I have a little pink lamb (I am called Lambchop on another bc board :-)) that is my marker for each of the birthdays. I can move it around so that I don't get mixed up :-)

Kelly..I really feel for you. Each time I hear about recurrences, I get teary eyed and come down to earth and the reality that I have cancer and it's all very real and very serious. It is sad to see others get this again. I came upon several women while I was in chemo that were going for the second time around. And they all had early stages. One woman was very angry and wanted to sue her doctor. She survived 10 years before it relapsed and she felt she hadn't gotten the right treatment to begin with. I remember sitting with her and trying to talk it out with her. It's very sad.

I'm very tired... we finished our holiday yesterday where we fast for 25 hours. I didn't do a total fast..ate a banana so I could take my aspirin, but it totally wiped me out.

My daughter fainted twice yesterday evening and is taking the day off of work today. She seems to be okay but we are on the way to the doctor just to make sure.

I read each of your posts..can't answer them all now.

Be well...love you all!

debbie444

So much to catch up on!
The walk pictures were fab - when i post mine dont expect to see the same sort of weather!
Rosemarie - glad it arrived safely. It made me laugh about the homework. My daughter is extremely conscientious about it a the moment. The only thing is she asks me questions i cant answer.I am ok with numeracy and geography etc, but last night she asked for help with her poster on 'Graphic Illustration and imagery' - for music! Excuse me????
Tadah - the card arrived - thanks.
Ravdeb, hope your daughter is ok. I have managed to sort out my fainting, i have to eat every 3 hours and it staves it off. They are watching my sugar levels/ A friend i made at chemo was left diabetic after her ttreatment - isnt that strange.
Graycie - are we going to see your hair - ever???
Yesterday was strange. I came home floating on air after Marks parents evening ( i must be an exceedingly good parent to have such a glowing child LOL) and overdosed on cheesecake. To make myself feel less sick i had a long bath with some expensive treats that a friend bought me. Only as well as my skin being smooth and silky, so was the bath and i managed to fetch the shower curtain down with me as i fell head first into the sink getting out!
Amy, i think i have a serious crush on your brother! No seriously, after getting beyond the Darius lookalike his work was good. In fact you all looked good!! Hope the new house is what you wanted.
Mary , sorry you are ill, hope you are getting the winter cold over and done with well before christmas. If we all come down with colds i guess you will have spread it in our socks like the plague spread across Britain in bolts of cloth!!
Tomorrow i have swimming with class. I hate it, last time Jamil nearly drowned and i had to fish him out , i live on my nerves all of the time we are there!!
Take care
Debbie.

linny

Rosemarie, your post made me smile. I live in Toronto but go to New York often where my married daughter lives. Her son (just turned 9) was not co-operating with doing his homework last school year. On one visit, I told her that when my youngest son(now 20) was in 2nd grade, I told him he was responsible for his homework and I stopped helping him with it. It actually worked, and he began doing it on his own. She tried it with her little boy, and it seems to be working as well.

I finished treatments February 2006 - there is a wonderful volunteer run peer support group in Toronto, and I just heard that one of the founders of the group has had a recurrence after 8 years. I am so distressed - she is a wonderful person who has helped many others. I think this fear for all of us is a fact of life now.

Linda

ravdeb

yes, Linda..I agree..the fear will sit with us.

BUT...I have GOOD NEWS!!! My daughter's path report on her ugly mole is BENIGN!!!! We are doing the happy dance here!!!!

However, we were at the doctor today since she fainted after the fast, she got a bit dehydrated, he did an ekg (which was okay) but her blood pressure was a bit low. He wants a total blood work up on her in the next few days because she looks too pale. Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

Debbie..are you okay??? I mean..your head in the sink???? Better wear helmet in bath and shower!

Graycie...Did you ask your onc about the hair not growing in? That seems too unfair. Bad enough to feel tired and crappy after chemo and rads but to top it off with the hair situation..that doesn't seem right! I wish I knew a good solution to this.

debbie444

If i have to wear my helmet in the bath as well as in the car - am i allowed to take it off???? ever????
No, i am ok, a sore head and a sore pride.
I am soooo glad for you daughter happy bbooooogggyyy here too!
Debbie

TracyNY

Quote:

---

However, we were at the doctor today since she fainted after the fast, she got a bit dehydrated, he did an ekg (which was okay) but her blood pressure was a bit low. He wants a total blood work up on her in the next few days because she looks too pale. Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

---

Bun in the oven maybe?!

Paula15089

Ladies,
i just wanted to pop in to say i havent forgotten about the trip pics, just very busy with getting back to work (first day today after 6 weeks off - ugh!), and STILL unpacking.
The bad news i have packed on heaps of weight with all the russian/italian/german foods, so am on a strictest diet now for the last 5 days. Doesnt seem to work at all, i dont know what to do. I hate hate hate this extra weight!!

The good news, me and a few friends are off to a Dove Star Walk for BC this saturday, and i am looking forward to wearing my pink t-shirt! Will def take some pics and post them.

Getting nervous about my mammogramm this friday..

will be back soon with pics,
love you all,
Paula

TracySeattle

I am thinking about making a picture collage of the pics of all of us walking in the walks this year. So different from last year.....

Tomorrow is our "Passionately Pink for a Cure" day at work. We have already collected $30!!!

Debbie - I think your helmet should be pink and you can put our names on it if you want.... LOL!

Ravdeb - Good news about your daughter's mole, and I sure hope the tests turn out OK. I am wondering if she just might be anemic?

Mary - Hope you are feeling better today.

I forget that some of you are still dealing with the Herceptin - does it make you sick each time? I will be so glad when you are all finished with that too.

I am SO EXCITED today - My company sent out an email saying that they are adding Short Term Disability to our benefits for next year. I needed that so badly last year when I was out for 3 months. At least now, I won't have that worry if I need to be out for an extended time again.

Have a good day, everyone!

ake

i'm having such mixed feelings about breast cancer awareness month. on one hand, i'm so proud to be a survivor, excited every time i see things that bring awareness, etc. but on the other hand, it gets me nervous all over again....it's like i still quite can't accept that breast cancer has been a part of my life. cancer and me? how can that be? i had a little bit of a nervous cry last night and then i was fine. it's just hard to believe sometimes that it's truly gone.

so, i go back and forth. i have my 6 month follow up with my radiation oncologist this week, then next week i get the tattoos on the nips, then i have my 3-month follow up again with my regular onc. a lot of doctor appts. maybe that's why i'm nervous and thinking about cancer all over again.

grrr.

TracyNY

I am in self-imposed denial! Everytime some shit about pink comes on tv I get a rush of acid to my stomach and I change the channel.

My tests are next Thursday and I have a sore throat. I'm thinking "Lord, I've got cancer in my throat". Ignore, ignore, ignore. I'm putting the whole thing on ignore.

RoseMarie

Ravdeb-YIPPEE!! So glad to hear the mole was b9 - hope everything else turns up normal!!
Linda - I like the idea about the homework. My son is 8 and is very capable of doing his work he just gets sooooooo easily distracted. UGH! (It's paybacks for all the homework I gave to 3rd graders before I ever had kids!)
Kelly - ((((hugs)))) Can't wait for this to be totally over and done with for you and MaryAnne!!! you are such a trooper!!
MaryAnne - Can't remember if I already mentioned this in my previous post and I'm terrified to go back and check BUT I loved the picture of you with your kids!!
Amy - I'm still searching for the NutraNails! I totally know how you feel, by the way. It's such a mix of emotions right now for me too. My first visit with the onc. since chemo will be on 10/31 - I have a visit with the ps before then (entering the world of nippledom too!!) but it's all so weird still.

Ok...better go...I want to drink one more cup of coffee before my big kids come home!!!!!(and enjoy a piece of English chocolate! )
Lots of love ladies!

maryannecb

Rosemarie, after losing several long posts, usually from checking back to other posts, before I click continue to post I copy the entire post. Then if I get the expired message I simply post my copied post again and click continue.

Victoria, For me Herceptin has a few SE. In the beginning I didn't experience much but now I have a runny nose, diarrhea, poor appetite and sore muscles for up to a week afterwards. I see others have sore muscles too so amd not sure it is entirely Herceptins fault. I get an infusion every three weeks. It is time consuming. From the time I get to the hospital and leave it is usually at least three hours. I do not mind the rest but I have a million other things I should be doing so resent the down time.My MUGA was good so I am on the road to finishing it up in Dec.

I am getting so jealous of you two breasted women with nipples I may have to make an aaappt with PS. Nahh..too chicken to have more surgery.

Tadah you are so lucky to be in denial. I bet you sleep great at night.

Tracy a picture collage sounds cool. Good idea.

Paula do not worry about your weight, start to eat properly now that your vacation is over. Get active and your weight will slowly go away...probably.LOL.

Ravdeb , boy kads are difficult! Finally cabn relax about the mole now the fainting. Hope Tadah isn't right.LOL.

Victoria,my LFT's are ok except Increased CK. I think that is from HER as causes muscle aches and CK goes up with muscle damage. You are lucky to be ER+, that gives you some good weapons. It must be scary for you to have such significant disease with less than optimal treatment. Why is it you did not complete your chemo if you don't mind me asking? And what is your reasonong for no scans?

Well must move along so good night.

Fists up!

maryannecb

Yikes Victoria you have already lived on the edge with your aneurysm! I asked for my scan so I could sleep. My FD ordered it. I hope the onc isn't pissed with me as he says routine scans are not indicated. For myself knowing I am cancer free right now gave me a huge boost.

As I said it is good to have the antihormonals in you arsenal against this beast.

Really good night, I am getting carpal tunnel from too much time here!

Fists up!

Anonymous

OMG...I am so frickin' busy. Big meeting tomorrow...gotta feed the raccoons...my dog is barking...by dh is calling my name...I love you all...will check in tomorrow...
Laura

Anonymous

Victoria, what does he mean that mets responds the same whether dx early or late???

sherryhaire

Good morning to all, have missed the posts for the past several days, received a surprise visit from my 3 grandaughters, They were out of school for a couple days-- had such a great time, of course they occupied computer the majority of the time playing games. They are 13, 9, and 3. Then my sisters have invited me to a weekend at the Beach to relax before getting ready for surgery on 24th. So have been busy but thinking of everyone

ravdeb

Hi all of you!

Sherry...sounds like you had a wonderful few days winh your house filled with kids. I love when all my kids are home and they bring their friends. Makes the house so much happier!

Was reading all the posts...we have so many still going through after chemo/rads treatments. I am hoping the time will fly quicker and you will be done with all of this!!!

My daughter is still not feeling well and we are off to the doctor again this afternoon. Tadah...I REALLY hope she has NOTHING cooking in the oven. We aren't quite ready for that, yet!

Tracy..have thought that maybe she is anemic..they will be checking that in the blood work up.

That idea of a collage for those who were part of the runs this year sounds very nice! what a great idea! YOu are full of nice ideas!

Mary..hope you are feeling better soon.

Laura..it's GOOD that you are busy!!! did you get my pm? Shall I reveal my new name????

Victoria..seems unfair that you have to worry about other health issues on top of bc. I do, too, and am not sure which one is worse!

Today I was in the grocery store and I saw a woman with really short straight hair. MANY women wear their hair very short here..it's very stylish so you really can't tell if they may have been a cancer patient or not. But, my mind always thinks "chemo" and as she walked by, I saw it. She had had a mastectomy on one side and was wearing a loose shirt but it was obvious that she was one-sided as she wasn't wearing a prosthesis. I just teared up. Couldn't deal with it. It's best when i can't tell if somebody has this beast or not. The grocery store is my "normal" life if you know what I mean. When I see that in the cancer center, I can deal with it. But not outside of my cancer world. I know too much.

Last night we went to a cousin's wedding. This is the daughter of a close cousin who is on my dh's side but I know them from the States. Anyway, the bride's granny was there and I know her very well too. She had bc...DCIS over 5 years ago and is okay. But her sister in Australia is not okay. It has spread. She's not doing well. They were afraid to tell me this. When I first learned of it I was fine. But last night it came up again and I wasn't okay with it. Sometimes it bothers me more than other times. I think that I'm often in denial like Tadah, but once in a while I come down to earth and realize that it's all real.

As we move beyond our first year since being diagnosed..we just never know what will be. Sorry for being so pessimistic at the moment. I'm usually not.

RoseMarie

Ravdeb - you have nothing to apologize for!! It is scary and depressing some times. I hate my "cancer moments" when I'm totally consumed with OMG I just want to live to see my kids grow up! I hate when I look at statistics and think ok, if I make it to the 5 year mark Justin will be 9 and maybe he'll remember me...now it's my time to apologize. That was really morbid.
Ravdeb - you are such an inspiration and such an encourager - big hug coming your way!!

Laura - do you really have raccoons that you feed?? Glad you're staying busy!!!

TracySeattle

You know, I feel mostly back to normal now, but when I see and hear of women that are dealing with later stages of bc and mets, it all comes back to me and I remember just how serious and life threatening this horrible disease is. It seems so surreal that I had cancer. Then I realize that I will always be changed because of this experience, by all of the brave and wonderful women I have met, and also always wondering what is going on inside my body that I might not know about.

BC seems so common now, there are so many women having to deal with all of this crap. WE NEED A CURE!