2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracySeattle

Kelly - what is a Cure Director? I would love to look into it! Some day a career is going to come out of all this for me, I just know it!

Debbie - LOL! I wonder what he is teaching you to say....

Amy - I need to go to the drug store and look for your face!!!

What awesome things we are all doing!

maryannecb

My race is this Sunday. I will walk with my children too. Last year I went down to the site, it was 4 days after my mastectomy. My drain was still in and pinned to my pants. I was so discouraged I was sure I would not be here this year. When I saw all those other women looking so healthy and strong it gave me a boost. This year I will walk with determination.

My daughter has her own team at school , they are walking for me.

Ravdeb it sounds like you have to get Israel moving on this. You can do it!

Amy, your fingernail add story was great. After reading it I went to your blog and looked around. The pics from your head shaving party are special.

I noticed the new october thread finally started today. Wouldn't it be great if some year chemo for breast cancer was no longer necessary. We have to push for a better cure, that is for sure. And more importantly find the reason and work on prevention.

Fists up!

TracySeattle

My step-daughter emailed me today and asked if she could run in my honor for the Denver Race for a Cure on October 8th! I was overwhelmed--espeically since her dad and I are no longer together....

I got a good magazine at the retreat this weekend, it is called MAMM (wwww.mamm.com). It is like CURE but for women with breast and gynecologic cancer.

Doesn't it feel good to be out at these events this year, encouraging others? My heart just swells to see all of us out there and reaching out.

You all Rock!

TracyNY

Now I feel like I'm letting the side down. I have no desire to be involved in anything to do with bc. I gave enough. Its something that I used to have and I deal with my leftover aches and pains but walking and fundraising? Tell me where to mail the checks!

Anonymous

TaDah, we all do what we can when we can. Just because we walk doesn't mean it means more than you sending your generous checks. It doesn't mean more than telling your friends and neighbors or maybe a grocery clerk to make sure to get her mammogram. I am sure that you are probably forcing your co-workers and friends to get mammos. I am sure there is a Wrath of Tracy that people fear!!!

Don't forget, just because you don't walk this year, doesn't mean you won't walk next year or the next. As I recall, didn't you just turn 40?? You are young and I know you want to forget it .... you probably won't but it's nice to think it's possible. We all have our own timetable that allows to do certain things. Your timetable is just different.

ravdeb

Kelly, that was very eloquently said. I agree. Tadah..you will do things your way and if it means writing a check or not...it doesn't matter. You have given all of us a lot right here on the board..your sense of humor through all the trying times..that's what it's all about.

The fundraising is a different aspect of the entire bc situation. I also believe that those of us who cheer up others, advise others, etc who are going through treatments and need information, are also moving on in the bc world and contributing. You don't have to walk in the Komen walk or any others to make things happen.

Another thing is that when people outside of the cancer world see women like us back at work, going on trips, and basically living life fully, it is an inspiration to them and educates them in how we can get through this, and continue to live.

Just a thought...

Love you all!

debbie444

Heythere Tadah. I am walking purely because out of the 3 women at work who have had BC I am the youngest and most able ( wont say the fittest !) I think its part pig headedness, a sort of sign to the people who thought the end was nigh!!
Plus, one of our friends came around last night and said he was doing a 30mile walk in aid of Breast Cancer for me, a 3 hour car ride away. This guy is a 20 stone diabetic! Sort of put me on the spot really!
If everyone walked there would be noone left to write the cheques anyway!!!!!
I feel that the through the past few months you have given enough of yourself anyway. What with fake handbags and dummy nipples ( or dummy handbags and fake nipples) you have lightened some dark times for all of us.

Debbie

marymelodi

Once again, in reading through the messages of the last couple of days I find them inspiring, moving, funny, and full of wisdom.

Kelly and Ravdeb: Your responses to Tracy are so wise and warm. How I love that our group has a place for everyone . . . no matter what we can do or what we are feeling.

Tadah: There have to be people to write the checks. I've spent most of the last week asking for sponsers for the Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk in my city (Rochester, NY) that happens this Sunday. Where would I be without the people who agree to give a little or give alot? I probably wouldn't be a walker in my "normal" life . . . but because of the sisterhood I have discovered here, with the Rock-tober Girls, I want to meet the sisters that live in my town and experience, in person, a little bit of what we have in this group.

I think that if even one person has been influenced by your story and your experience then you ahve done all you need to do. If you get your family and friends to be more diligent and timely in their mammograms, just think what GOOD you have done. And, we all have benefited so much from knowing you. The next time I come downstate to see my relatives you can be sure I will try to arrange to visit with you, too.

Now, to bring everyone up to date. Yesterday I taped the radio interview. It was successful (I think) but I was disappointed in myself for 2 reasons. I had taken my Rocktober shirt and put it by my tote bag, planning to change into it as I left work to go to the studio. Well, I left it sitting on the bed. So, that was my first disappointment. I so much wanted to wear it and then got distracted and left without it. Then, I found it hard in the interview to keep my train of thought and only briefly mentioned all the support from friends . . . particularly you and some other special people. They did not talk to me as long as I had been led to believe and there was an agenda that I only recognized after the fact. They were very focused on the "get your mammogram" message and on praising the cancer center. I have no issue with either message. I tell everyone all the time about getting mammograms and I do think my cancer center is one of the best, but there was a difference in what I thought I would get to talk about and what they wanted me to say.

They did ask me to record a public service message and invitation to come to see the hosts when they broad cast from area malls through the month of October. They could not tell me when the interview will air. Maybe they will send me an e-mail - or not. They are broadcasting live from my hospital and the Wilmot Cancer Center (http://www.stronghealth.com/services/cancer/)
on Friday, October 6 in the morning 6am to 8:30am EST (you can link to the internet streaming at http://www.ifickle.com/default.asp) And on the Saturdays, Oct 14, 21, 28 they will broadcast live from a PINK booth in one of the malls and will be focusing on breast cancer. So, I think maybe the interview will run on Oct 6 since I work here and they'll be broadcasting here. That's what I would do if I was the planner. The public service messges will probably run all through the month, focusing on the Saturday mornings, I would think.

So, I didn't do what I planned but I hope what I did do was effective enough.

Mary

TracySeattle

Oh TaDah! You do your part in so many other ways! The women who know you are certainly inspired by you. Being close to you and what you have gone thru certainly raises their awarness to themselves, doing self exams, mammograms, etc. Each person deals with an experience like this in their own way and we are all forever changed. You will find yourself giving back in all types of situations even tho it may not be the types of things that some of us are doing and many times you may not even realize it! You are special, you keep us inspired and laughing and we love you!

One thing that I have learned about myself is that I submerse myself into EVERYTHING that affects me. Even tho I love being involved with the bc efforts and helping the other women I meet along the way--it really is a personality flaw in a way. I get too involved and emotionally it takes a toll on me. I need to work on separating myself a bit and spending time for just myself (learned that at the retreat this weekend, who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks???). Focusing so much on the causes and other people leaves me less time to think about what I have been through which is not always a good thing. We discussed how it is good to allow yourself time to feel sad, angry and afraid once in awhile (as long as you then move on, of course). I spend a lot of energy focusing on everything and everyone else so that I don't let myself go there and it sounds like I need to let myself experience those feelings more in order to continue moving on.

Mary - I know you did GREAT on the interview! It will be helpful to other women and that is what is important!

I think I am going to go on a hunt for Amy's face today when I am at the drugstore!

There is not alot happening with me this week. No plans for the weekend either, so I am looking forward to some down time. I am having my "Open House" on the 4th of October, so that all of my friends can come see my house and have some drinks. I will probably spend the weekend sprucing things up. Maybe I will even get my craft room unpacked!

Talk to all of you later....

Graycie

Hey everyone, Did you miss me? Just kidding...........You don't even want to know what has been going on in my life. I could write a book..........Let's just say I have a pretty messed up family....

Kelly, I remember that gum. .I love the pictures of you, Teryn and your new friend, Grace. Very touching story a bout the walk. California looks beautiful......Where did you find your hat? I saw one like that somewhere and I am so mad I didn't buy it and now I can't remember where it was.

Laura, I didn't know you had such a hard time with the Axillary node dissection. Did you have a positive node or why did they take them all out? I had 23 taken out because of one nasty positive node.

Rosemarie, I am glad to hear you and your girls are doing well.

Amy, That's Kool about the nail polish. I picked you out from the rest even though you look a little different now. Same pretty face though. Now I have to go to the drugstore and see if I can find you..I will let you know....I remember your TV interview too.....

Tracy, Glad you enjoyed your weekend at Harmony Hill. Sounds like it was a nice experience. What a nice Step-daughter you have. That is nice that she still feel's close to you and want's to run in your honor.

Mary, I hope I get to hear the interview somehow. I don't think I can pick up Rochester radio stations from here.

To everyone that is walking this Sunday I think that is wonderful. I also am planning on walking and wearing my Rocktober T-shirt. Tadah, donations are good too......

Hi to Sherry, Debbie, Paula, Cathy, Jill, Cindy, Victoria, Brenda, Ravdeb. I hope you are all doing good.

Gracyie

TracySeattle

I can't find Amy's face!!!! I found most of the other women, but not Amy. :-(

TracyNY

Thanks ladies for making me feel alright about my lack of participation in the battle. I'll just plug along here making you guys laugh and stuff and maybe one day I'll do something.

I've been getting alot of male attention lately. One guy I actually had to put out of my house because he just didn't seem to want to leave. I think he might have been hanging around to get some of the chicken I was frying! Hell, I turned the pan off, put the bird in the oven, bagged up the trash and told him I'd walk him to his car!!

Anonymous

TaDah -
You are unbelievable! You really should write a book! Really! It's wonderful that you donate when possible, that's so very thoughtful!

Graycie -
My Sentinal Node was positive (it was biopsied during my Mastectomy) so because of that one frickin' positive node, I had to have the Ax. Dis. Damn Node! LOL They stopped at 11 because all were negative. Whew! But like you, I'm sure...I still worry that the monster slipped by them! And yes, I missed you! Was just going to put out the mother hen post: Has anyone heard from Graycie?!

Tracy -
Your weekend sounds wonderful! You actually learned something really important about little ol' you. Remember this...The Mother bird always feeds herself first!

marymelodi-
What an amazing opportunity you have been handed! Can't wait to listen to you.

ravdeb -
That snail is reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally slow! LOL

maryanne -
I am so bummed! I would have sent your kids t-shirts had I known about your walk. I will be cheering you on though. Best wishes to you.

Rosemarie -
How's Rosemarie doing?

Everyone -
Hey!

Laura

TracySeattle

We are going to be famous!!! LOL! We will just all keep talking about the Roctober girls, Oprah will hear about us someday!

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Three of my girlfriends called me tonight and wanted to meet for dinner. So there we are in the Mexican restaurant sipping our Margaritas when in walks my soon to be EX, his girlfriend and her son. UGH! I love living in a small town, but it is too small for the two of us. He had better be planning to move SOON! (I wish).

Our divorce is final next Wed - October 4th! I will be celebrating with my friends on October 7th with an open house in the afternoon and girls night after that. For girls night we are going to my friend Laura's house and I am going to burn my chemo clothes in her fire pit. Then we are all just going to drink alot. :-) Maybe we will eat something too.... They will be spending the night.... Wish you all could be here too!

Off to bed with me. Talk to you tomorrow!

Anonymous

Victoria, you better plan on meeting up!! And black belt shopping, you bet! My Teryn is working on her purple belt but she'll keep up!

-------
Mary-Anne, I wish you the best for your walk. Bring kleenex!! Wear your shirt proudly this year!!!!!

=====
Tracy, you're right, one of these days we will end up on Oprah but Rachel Ray's would be more fun, yum yum!

debbie444

Tracey, make sure its the clothes that get pushed into the pit and not your dear ex hubby! Oct 4th was the date of my first chemo.
Graycie - glad you are back, found a post on anoither board from you so knew you were still around ( are they ALL yur sisters?)
Laura, i had 28 nodes removed. They do it at the same time as the op and then see if its got there. I had 1 positive. It was that wound that caused the most trouble - thats where i had my haemmorrage 2 weeks later. Now all i have is a hole to remind me.
I had a pm from chumfry so she is around but where is rosemarie??
Debbie

marymelodi

Saying Hello! Very busy at work this morning so not much time to write. Love catching up with everyone. Your posts bring up so many feelings for me. I haven't had any kind of bad feelings about the clothes I wore last winter. Can't imagine burning any of mine. But, I haven't used my little DVD player that was given to me to take to chemo. I see it on the shelf, lonely, but I say to myself, "Don't need that any more." I wonder sometimes if my feelings - or lack of them - are "normal". Someone asked me recently what I learned. I said, "Just how blessed I am." That's what I mostly feel . . . very, very blessed.

Mary

ravdeb

I don't think I want to burn any of my clothes. But I was given a beautifully embroidered, beaded, stitched, you-name-it blue jeans bag. It was made for me by a friend of our cousins when I started chemo. We have never met but she wanted me to have it. She makes them only for friends. But, when I look at it, I don't want to use it. I took it with me to chemo and it makes me feel drowsy and sick and uncomfortable when I look at it. It's thrown on the floor in a corner of my room on top of my BC notebook and journal I carried with me every time I went for treatments or doctor appointments after I was diagnosed. I can't even deal with putting the stuff together and then putting it on a shelf somewhere. I think I get pleasure out of throwing it on the floor!

Tracy... your party sounds like it's going to be a blast!
Sorry you have too many chances of running into Mr. Ex-To-Be. I know that is hard. CRAP!

Graycie..sorry to hear you have been busy with family craziness. Hope it worked out...

Rosemarie????????????????????

Next week I talk to the skin doctor about my daughter's biopsy results. The secy in the office there tells me I only have next Tues. to call her and talk to her because after that she's on vacation til Oct 17th. I explained to her that I need a biopsy result and waiting is not in the cards. Hopefully the doctor on Tues will be able to tell me how I can get the results if they aren't in by Tues. I'm getting anxious about it.

Back to work...
Have a good day everybody.

ake

what's the website to resize a picture again? i can't remember. i wanted to show you the pictures from my brother's opening.

beyond stressed, my husband is having a meltdown because he's taking off too many days of work, trying to finish up packing, go to work myself, finish the house closing stuff, grr. i really feel like i'm drowning...i know it's good things, but still...it's a lot going on right now!

so, i'll still be in and out for the next week or so but know that i'm thinking of you all

ravdeb

oh..I bet Kelly knows that.

My mom just sent me an e-mail and told me that her girlfriend was just diagnosed with breast cancer and is having a lumpectomy some time next week. She is probably close to 80 since my mom will be 80 next summer. I know that it grows slowly the older you get. Still...

I told my mom to give her my e-mail address so she and I could chat. We'll see if she wants to chat with me or come on the boards.

Seems unfair. She's older and dealing with elderly issues. Why this, too????

Cancer doesn't care...

debbie444

It doesnt seem fair at any age.

While we are wanting kelly,any chance of the birthday list again?
DEbbie

RoseMarie

Hello everyone!!! I am just about back to 100% - even vacuumed today tho not sure I was supposed to. I've been a bit busy as my husband has been gone a lot and the kids are involved in way too many activities!! He's actually in California today - lucky him!
Enjoyed catching up on the posts as usual! I also went in search of Amy's nail polish but the WalMart here isn't quite ready for Breast Cancer Awareness month - I found the brand but no luck with ANY breast cancer stuff at all. I'll keep looking!!!!
Laura - I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you about the walk this weekend. I won't be able to make it BUT I will be thinking of you! It really is such an emotional/moving thing - we walked as a family back in April.
Mary - I know you did great - hope we can hear the interview.
TaDah - you are an amazing woman - you have encouraged, uplifted and cracked us all up! (and continue to do so!)
Kelly - soooo loved the pictures - I was wiping away tears as I read!!!
Ravdeb - so sorry to hear about your mom's friend! It certainly does seem unfair!!!
Amy - good luck - packing is not fun!! I know the anticipation of the new home is, though!!!

Everyone - hugs and love coming your way!!!

RoseMarie

by the way - I know I have some addresses but I would love to have all. If you could please pm when you get a chance it would be great!
THANKS ladies!!

ravdeb

Hey Rosemarie..glad to see you here. Glad to hear you are doing so well!!!

TracyNY

Hey Rosemarie!

Shake your boob thing, shake your boob thing, yeah yeah!! Show 'em how to do it now!!

Tomorrow I will be attending my coronation in the Kingdom of Nippledom. I am being presented to the world, two of the brightest headlights the world has ever seen. I may even have a cocktail in the afternoon to celebrate!

Lord, I hope they're cute. Suppose they come out looking like two dead roaches or something?!

Anonymous

marymelodi's is 1/19
sherryhaire's is 1/26
debbie444 is 2/6
paula is 2/11
lauragto's is 3/5
maryannecb's is 3/21
tracyseattle 3/25
kelly's is 4/3
graycie's 5/21
chumfry's is 6/15
wildflowers is 6/29
tadah's is 8/23
adnerb 10/18
rosemarie's 11/28
ravdeb 12/1
amy's 12/5

Anonymous

We missed Brenda's Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous

Amy

www.resize2mail.com

Graycie

No we didn't, Brenda's Birthday is in October, isn't it???.........Where has she been?

Anonymous

Graycie, you're right. I am in the middle of planning for our annual RV show which is in October and of course, I have already picked out Teryn's Halloween costume ........ on top of that, I have had to re-arrange my October Herceptin schedule .... so I am immersed in October!!!!!!

{Kelly goes back to her desk and puts September page back where it belongs}