please help

Lisa,

Boy, that stinks.

Does your state provide Short Term Diasbility ???

Valerie

Hi all,

   I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was busy but fun. I had a lot of reading to catch up on.

   gb if you still have the links for the triple neg info, I would love to check it out. The more positive info I find the better I feel. BTW, I agree with you about the difference in schools now and when I was in school. Here, there is so much put into standardized testing it's sickening. I think that if parents really knew, they would not be so in favor of them. But I do like being a teacher's ass't. I feel like the nurse of the ed. field. While the teacher wisks in and feeds the info, I get to come in and hold the child's hand during the process. I love it.

     Lisa, is there any way you can defer your insurance premiums since you will be on LWOP? That's what I did 2 years ago for my knee surgery. That really helped take a financial stress off of us. Also I know I'm late on this, but I think you calling on your ex took guts. Good for you.

     Loved the pix of you all. Y'all are beautiful ladies.

                                                                  With love

guess what, the PS office just called to say that the tattoo gun is broken and they won't get a replacement until Thursday! They rescheduled my tattoos until next Wednesday. Oh well, I have waited since June to get this over with, what is another week.

Sheila

dear sisters

i am very sad

i dont know wat to do just to over this deep sadness

i feel like sinking

very strange feellings invading meee

am crying my eyes out

wat to do just to feel lil bit better????????

Hi Ulla, Sweet Sue, Lisa, Karen, Sheila, GB, Angie, Valerie, and any of our dear sisters I forgot.  I hope this was a good night for all of us.

Ulla, sweetie, I think the chemo has made you fuzzy, honey, it just tries to play with your mind, too.  When you are so sick feeling, the mind doesn't help a whole lot. 

Of course, it is mad at you for putting things in your body the brain doesn't like.  The brain says, "What in the world are the viens thinking"  This stuff is really ugly.".  The body says, "Well, we are trying to get rid of all the cancer cells, and this is what we have to do whether you like it or not!".  Then the brain says to itself, "I'll make you sorry, body, I will fill myself with ugly thoughts, so you can't sleep well".  The body answers, "STUPID, we are in this together, if we work together, this whole thing will go better".  The brain says, "I am the boss of this whole thing, and no one said a word about chemo to me."  The body says, "Yes, you were there in the room with the onc, you know this is what we need to do to be sure the cancer doesn't come back".  The brain says, "Well, I needed a break, so I was looking out the window".  Now the body is mad. 

The body says, "if you are not going to take this seriously, I am going to give you the biggest headache you have ever had".  Well, the war between the body and the brain will probably go on until chemo is over.  They never really did like each other.

Ulla, sweetie, this will get better, think Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, this whole thing takes so long, it just wears you out.  And that is what is going on, Sue too.  Just goes on and on.  TOO MUCH.

Love you all, and I LOVED the video, for a moment, it looked like a beach here in San Diego. 

Hugs, kisses and love, Shirlann

Hi Sue! Good to see you made it through your work day. Lucy , thanks for the video. I love , love , love the beach and am sooo jealous you , Sue , and Ulla are going to be enjoying it without us! But , at the same time I am so glad you all will be getting together for some MUCH needed R&R and lots of laughter and fun. Please you three , take lots of pics to share with us!

Lisa , I hope you got alot accomplished today like you wanted to.OH , I wanted to tell you , I got short-term disability while I was off work. Why can't you get that? You should be able to. Go see your human resource person and talk to them about it. Also , for FMLA , while you are off , so they can't hold the time off against you , and have to hold your job until you come back to work.Its alot of paperwork , but your docs office will fill out the appropriate pgs and fax them back. Thats what mind did. STD isn't alot of money , but it sure did help me.xxx

Karen , did the snow stick around for Chase to play in it? Hope so. That chillow pillow sounds great!! Post the site , if you can.xxxx

Ulla , Shirlann couldn't have said it any better. She hit it right on. Thats exactly what happens. Know you will overcome this and things will get much better. Love ya honey.xxxx

Welcome hawkwomen , Cyndy and Angie. Hawkwomen , feel free to tell us your story. Cyndy , hugs to you. You deserve and need so much support from your husband. But some men have a really hard time with it. Give him some time , maybe he'll come around. And we are all here for you!xxxx Angie , you're the one with the four little ones right? Hope your doing well. Where are you in this journey of ours? Are you having tx? I couldn't remember if you said or not.xxxx

Auntie Em , great deals!! I love that. In this world when prices are so high on everything , it feels so good to get your moneys worth , and then some!xxxx

Shirlann , what can I say , YOU ROCK!! You always have such compassionate , helpful and funny words for us all. You are very special.xxxx

gb-Jane , sorry you're running late. Hope you have a great day!xxxx

Lucy , what kind of pics were those!?!lol I wonder who got them...xxxx

Well Sue , I think its after midnight there. Hope your fast asleep. I know you haven't been able to do that before midnight lately.Have a good day tomorrow. You are always in my prayers. Much love , Melody

Wow! What a nice beach video! I watched it a few times and tried to picture myself there in the sun.  Ahhh!

I love going shopping and getting a bargain too. It's like finding treasure... and if you love the clothes and wear them for a long time you will think of that deal every time you wear them.

I have also gained 20 pounds that I'm trying to get rid of--but it's just not going easily... You'd think if you had a bilateral mastectomy you'd lose weight--especially with the boobies I had, but no... I gained. I am trying, but I think it's because I have been sitting around more (wasn't as active with my arms either). I can't wait until it's warmer outside so I can walk more (and not in freezing rain)... 

My next fill is Wednesday.  I'm only going every other week because it takes me so long to recover from them.

Oh, and welcome to all the 'new' ladies here too.  I had DCIS and chose a bilateral mastectomy with expander reconstruction because I didn't want to go through this again (please God) and I didn't want to do any of the other treatments... I did what worked for me; no one influenced me one way or another. I just know my personality and it fit with what I chose.

Hope everyone is staying warm and well.  Shirlann sure is a good cheerleader! I so appreciate her words of wisdom and experience.

Good morning,

   Jane thanks for the site. I'll check it out this morning.

   Melody, yes I have the 4 lovies. That's why I'm up on my day off at 5:30. I have my 2nd of 6 cycles on Thurs. I am doing taxotere along with adriamycin and cytoxan. First round went well. The onc was really happy with all my labwork and after seeing me.

   I have good news. A couple of weeks ago I met a woman on here who lives in my area with same doc, surgeon. She has been very supportive and we finally get to meet today. I am so excited. Our schedules have been too busy until today.

   Also, is it me or do y'all find yourselves looking for other survivors? Last night I was at my son's P.T.A. meeting and saw another woman there with a scarf on her head. I found myself watching her more than the meeting. Afterwards, we were behind her walking out. My husband told me to go talk to her. I did and bless her heart. She is a single mom who was just dx with leukemia. She unleashed her story and was close to tears as finally seeing someone else who is sick. We exchanged hugs and promises to see each other at the next meeting. And to think I almost didn't go. I was so glad to put a smile on her face.

    Sorry to talk so much, but being on here and hearing such words of courage and inspiration, helped me reach out last night. I know that I can come one here and vent and cry and y'all understand. This poor girl does not have that. Have a blessed Tues. and thank so much for being there for me. 

Good morning girls!

I was going to post again last night. But I finished with most of my chores, then Olivia & I went to the grocery store..UGH! (Sue and I hate that task!) We came home, made dinner, ate, did more laundry and then off to bed.

So catching up with the posts now.

Angie, So glad you have joined us!  About the insurance premiums, I will have some vacation time applied, so that should cover all if not part of those. Thanks about me having the guts to call the police on my ex.  Still not sure if they actually went and got him.

I have to tell you Angie..you have my admiration, 4 younger kids and dealing with all of this!  I don't know how you younger mothers do it! I think that you were meant to find that woman at that meeting!! It would be good for the two of you to stay in touch some how.  I am sure she would need a friend who understands, as well as you do.  How did your visit go with the lady you met on here?

Sheila..sorry about the delay of the tattos.  Do you have your nipple yet?  You will have to fill me in after all of that is done.

Lucy..thanks for the video.  I so love the beach!  How far away is your home from the beach?  Too funny about your boobie pics...in the hands of strangers!

Ulla..darling...it is so normal and understandable to feel sadness.  Allow yourself to cry and feel it.  Your day's are only going to get better.  Just think in about 2 weeks from now, you will be feeling so much better!! And then all the days following...better each day!

Mel...I checked into getting short term disability when we had to reapply for our health insurance in Novemeber.  I was going to pay for the policy, but it stipulated, not covering any pre-existing illnesses!! Well...so much for that.  I am on intermitten FMLA.  I filed for that last March.

Shirlann...thank you for your lovely post.  We can always count on you to come along and say the right thing!

Karen...oh sweetie..don't worry...we are all keeping you in our prayers, that the problem with your lung is just something small and not lung disease. I am so sorry...I know we can say not too worry...but that is SO HARD not to do!

It is amazing how we are drawn to other bc victims!  I think that is normal.  What is sad, that they seem to be everywhere!  Well...1 in 8 women!! Those are high #'s!!

Stay strong Karen...I love you!

xoxo

Lisa