please help

I was diagnosed with in situ carcinoma of the right breast in October 2007. I had the cancer removed December 21. On January 4th I was told I needed a mastectomy. They did a biopsy on the left side yesterday. They are thinking of doing a double mastectomy if it comes back positive. When the surgeon took me in, he said he found in situ carcinoma all through the right breast and the best thing to do is remove it before it develops further. If I take it off now i won't need Chemo or Radiation, just the surgery. I am overwhelmed. I have 44DDD breasts and wear a size 5. I am a small woman, I just have gagantuan breasts. I have wanted a reduction for YEARS!!!!!!!!!! But after seeing two surgeons (I work in xray and have worked in Oncology for 25 years so I know all the MD's and see everything but I am still overwhelmed.)they want me to do this before it really spreads. But here's the thing. WHEN WILL SPREAD  TO THAT POINT? In the past, I have seen patients take their chances and do nothing, and then five years down the road they are sorry they didn't have the mastectomy. They ALL ended up with months of chemo, radiation etc only to DIE within a two year period. My maternal grandmother had a mastectomy in the 60's for the exact same thing.Her daughter, (my aunt) just had it done two years ago. No reconstruction. And that's the other thing.Because of the enormous size of my breasts they HAVE to do something to the good side. What should I do?

Hi Cyndy,

So sorry you are going through this trauma and anguish. It is scary and overwhelming to be told that you need a mastectomy and you need some time to come to terms with this. At this stage, it seems to me that you have non-invasive bc and that is the "best" type to have. I had ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) all through my left breast. I had a lumpectomy first but no clear margins so I had a mastectomy last April. There is usually no rush for surgery for DCIS because it hasn't invaded. However, until the final pathology comes back they can't rule out invasion. My surgeon was in a hurry to operate because the first path report suggested invasion. However, the path on my mastectomy showed no invasion so I didn't have to have chemo or rads. The big question that nobody can answer is which DCIS will spread? If only we knew! I was very eager to have my mastectomy because I didn't want to take any chances - I was told that, due to the aggressive character of my bc, that it could infiltrate at any time so I am grateful that they found it when they did.

Now, about double mastectomies. One of my friends had this done and she is coping well. She also had quite big breasts but has decided against recon. She chooses to wear a double prosthesis.  It's a really individual thing. You could have a single mastectomy with a reduction on the other breast if you wanted to and then wear a prosthesis on the mastectomy side. Or you could have a bilateral mastectomy done and have a recon the size that you would like. There are quite a few options.

For now though, you need lots of support and understanding ears. Don't feel rushed unless there is good reason to have surgery sooner rather that later. If you have worked in oncology, you no doubt know a lot more than I do so what I have said is probably not new to you. The most important thing for you now is to vent, yell and find support. You are very welcome here.

Hugs,

gb (Jane) 

There you go, Cyndy!  gb (Jane) was right there for you with some words of wisdom.  Sounds like your situations are very similar. 

Karen

Hi Karen! I saw on another thread that you are house hunting. I hope you find  a place you all love. My S/O and I are also looking for a place with some land around it but we are not looking hard enough!

My middle son, Heath, is in Montana at the moment, making the most of the snow just outside of Bozeman. He loves the people and is having a great time.

Hope you are having a restful weekend. I must go and tidy up!

Love the firey threat to bootface, Sue! 

hugs,

gb

Karen, that used to really bug me too. My kids' stepdad used to pay for their (highschool) education, medical and dental and buy them presents. Getting any extra money out of their father was like getting blood out of a stone!

gb xox 

I can't wait to get home tonight and see the pics posted here!

Karen, I think most of us can relate when it comes to the ex's!  Like my girls, Portia will understand as she gets older, how her Dad is, if she doesn't already.  My ex worked as a sub contractor, so he got paid under the table as well. 

I wish I could be an fly on the wall at his parents home today, if the police actually went there to pick him up!  His parents are such enablers!  Why would you let your adult son live off of you for 5 plus years, knowing full well that he is not taking care of his own children.  And they know the hell I have been through this last year.  And not one ounce of support!

Oh well..enough of that.

Jane...are you tidying up yet? haha.

Sue, we will help you get through the reconstruction period, if you chose that.  Just like I will rely on all of you the next month!

Cyndy, welcome. I had a mast. on my left side.  I am a busty woman as well.  Full D's.  I am having reconstruction on that side in about a week.  At the same time my ps is going to reduce, mostly just lift and make the other side the same as the reconstructed side.

As Jane said, take your time if you can, making your choices.

Take care all!

xoxo

Lisa

Oh, I forgot to give you a cyber pat on the back for calling the cops on your ex, Lisa.  That's great!!!!  Good for you!  Damn deadbeat!!  How can he sleep at night knowing he's done nothing for his kids and that they don't want anything to do with him?  I'd be devastated!  I'd give my life for my kids--I just don't get people like that.  So selfish!!

Don't you dare feel guilty, Lisa.  You did the right thing!!

Hugs,

Karen

My ex mil loved me when I was her dil.  Thought I was the best thing that ever happened to her son.  Then when I asked for a divorce, that all changed. Of course he said allot of ugly things about me to his parents. But still, you need to keep the peace to have a good relationship with your grandkids.  It's all a long story, but my two oldest, do not see those grandparents!  They say they care about the girls and miss them, etc, etc...BUT ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!  So basically my girls only have my father, and he has been a rock for them when they needed him.  In fact, my oldest said, when she gets married someday, she hopes he will be around to walk her down the aisle!  They miss my mother soooo much!

Good luck house hunting Karen!  I will be doing that in about 1 1/2  years.  I need to downsize!  I have a 4 bdrm, 3 bath home, and it's just the 2 of us!! I don't need that.  Then when Olivia graduates, in a little over a year, it will just be me!  I say...Condo, here I come!

My ex loved old homes too!! How funny!  I do as well, I love the charm.  But like the two of you....I hate the fixing and the upkeep, and the "promises" to remodel etc!  So because of that, I prefer newer homes!

xoxo

Lisa

Lol! It's the same the world over. I told my partner the other day that I want an apartment on the lake. He wasn't impressed! He hates being jammed up against other people. I guess we will both work something out - we are both a lot more mellow now.

It's sad about your kids' grandparents Lisa. Just before I found out (I had suspected it for months) about my first husband's affair/s) my mil had told me that she "loved me like a daughter". We had become quite close but when I left her son, he bent the truth somewhat - made out that I had left and then he had met the other woman because she was such a comfort and he was soooo lonely! Grrrrrr! Anyway, she believed him and took his side. My ex used to be so nasty about me to my boys when they had access visits with him. In spite of it all they have kept on seeing him - they crave his approval - which they rarely get! They know what he is like and all say that I am better off without him. They still love his mother who is basically quite sweet - just a bit one-eyed about her blue-eyed boy!

I am going to have a whinge now - my arm feels as though it has a bag strapped under it this morning - lots of lymph build up. Damn! Maybe I overdid my workouts at Curves last week. No - it's probably that I haven't been massaging myself. I am big on telling everybody else here to massage themselves and go to LE specialists but I don't practice what I preach! I thought I was getting it under control so I became slack. Well, the housework will have to wait - I'm going to do some massage. 

oxox

Jane 

Wow Melody! Thanks for that cute little Aussie heart. You must have known it was Australia Day yesterday! I'm going to try to post a pic here from photobucket later.

Jane. xx