STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Vandercat...I am thinking of you this week.

For some reason I am no longer getting the e-mails when new posts are posted. So for several weeks I have been missing all my favorite topics. I am still not getting them. I have no idea why but it is very frustrating.

Thanks to all of you for your encouraging words. Tomorrow morning I will take a 8:19 train to be there for the 10:15 walk-up to the 11:45 surgery. Today I had the radioactive seed implanted, and I behaved badly the whole time. I cried and hyperventilated (not so hard with 2 masks).

As Tom Petty once said, "the waiting is the hardest part." I am spending my waiting time in a state of pure dread. I know this isn't the optimal mental position to be taking, but I can't help it.

I’m having a really bitchy day - made worse by the realization I can’t ever blame PMS for general bitchieness.

Just so sick of people being so damn territorial and defensive - especially those in a career path where the entire mission is about empathy and caring

vandercat will be hoping it goes well for you tomorow and wishing you fast recovery from your surgery.

I am just venting about the stupid weather. Another front coming in and bringing a foot of snow. Not like we go anywhere anyway but makes putting dogs out harder. Our old dog needs help now she has to go down stairs to the yard and can't get back up. She won't go anywhere else even if we have tried to save her steps. She is a large dog so DH has to go out and help her up the stairs by guiding her back end up them. Hard on him the snow too. Then she is bad about getting wiped down afterwards and does not want to be and likes the snow. She is super old so we humor her. I hate winter!!!!!!!

Oh bc, I'm so sorry. We used a sling to help our big, senior Airedale get up the steps when he needed help. We don't get snow here, though. Hoping things get better.

Carol

Our Winslow will be 14 this month. He's pretty small, about 15 pounds, no teeth and not much hair, but fairly agile. He can't jump onto our high bed anymore. We got him some steps to use a couple years ago, but he refuses, so I park my slippers on it so I don't have to bend all the way to the floor when I get up! We're due to get hit with a large amount of ice and snow in the next few days, which means hubby will have to shovel a path for Winslow to reach the yard. And the dog makes whoever's taking him out go outside first so he can see if it's raining or doing anything he doesn't like. Little shit.

What a cutie he is! Spookie has had steps since I brought her home. She was 2# then.

Our old girl was 7 when we adopted from the pound. She is still a happy girl though and we are giving her a good life.

Adordable doggie.

ctm, that is such a sweet photo!

Alice that pooch is adorable! We lost our dear 15 1/2 year old Gibby two weeks ago. For the last four months or so getting him in and out of the house (he was a 75 pound mutt) was very difficult. CTM beautiful pic

vandercat, I'm glad your surgery is over. I hope you heal quickly and that you get back the path report sooner rather than later.

(((hugs)))

Carol

hello to all,

I am here to vent. I was diagnosed stage4 out of the gate in 2015. Yes i had a mammogram every year evidently i had a lousy radiologist. My cancer has metastasized to my bones only. Lucky people tell me. I wish i could feel normal for just one day or maybe more. For the most part i have handled everything with grace and humor. Lately though i have been struggling to be civil. The hospital pharmacy cant seem to fill prescriptions correctly no matter how much time you give them. They call and say your scripts are all ready so my husband drives downtown only to find out 2 of the 7 are actually filled the rest might be ready tommorrow ( i dont drive anymore due to nerves). It makes me feel like even more of a burden than usual. I have had what feels like a uti but isnt since last October. If you have ever had an uti imagine having one for 3 months. It feels like you are peeing razor blades. I will see the urologist on feb 22nd for a cystoscopy so they can check my bladder and urethra. They promise me this doesn't hurt however the mayo clinic and johns Hopkins say people are usually given gas ( like at the dentist). The urology office says this is unnecessary. So not only do i fear the pain i also get to experience the humiliation of being back up in the stirrups at the age of 56. I tried explaining my feelings to the nurse and she just smirked and said ( you will be fine). Last weekend my sister died unexpectedly. She was my person. The one that was going to see me out of this world in a timely fashion. No lingering around for me. Well now im on my own without my person. Her funeral was on my birthday. My son who is 22 and my husband are not getting along to put it mildly. Each expecting me to take their side. The stress in the house is unimaginable . I think i have had enough. I cant sleep or eat. I have no desire to travel or even go ot for dinner. I rarely leave the house except for Doctor appointments. This isnt living its surviving until hell wakes me up again for another round.

Thank you for listening

Melissa

I was having constant UTIs. Dr wanted to do that, with me awake. Nursie said she’d hold my hand. Hah! I wanted to sleep through it. Dr finally agreed, but when he insulted my cardio, I decided I didn’t need him or his test. Finished the anti biotin’s, been ok since.

It is a lot on your plate right now, breathe. One day, one minute, one step at a time.