MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2017

    Redcoke6, You have not filled out your initial diagnosis or any other info. in your "Profile" section, so it is a little hard to put what you say into the correct context. Also, you did not mention WHICH tumor marker so my answer will have to be very general...

    From the little I know about tumor markers, I will say that having the numbers go from 21 to 24 is not really a cause for concern, since both numbers are within a normal range for the most common BC tumor markers. (If you ask for your own copy of the test results, the range is usually right on there.) Your latest number, 45, is a bit elevated out of the normal ranges (and can be slightly higher for other reasons besides cancer); BUT if you are saying that you only get the markers tested once each year, why not ask to be retested in a few months rather than wait for another whole year? It seems like you had that idea yourself, and I think it is a good one.

  • Redcoke6
    Redcoke6 Member Posts: 3
    edited February 2017

    Elimar,

    Thank you for the good advice. I'm sorry my post was too vague. I'll fill out the info I did notice a place for that.


  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    Stella-trust me the monarchy is just fine. I dont think my house or me would survive democracy! But it would be nice to have a court jester come around once every 5 yrs or so :)


  • kkuziel
    kkuziel Member Posts: 191
    edited February 2017

    Eph3, love your idea of a court jester on a five year rotation. I'm married, but I married later than most in my mid 30's. The adjustment to sharing the castle was interesting. We do get used to ruling our queen-dom, and merging kingdoms is difficult. I can't imagine what doing it at my age now (61) would be like. I'm not sure I could adjust again at this age. Guess I'll have to keep the devil I know.

  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited February 2017

    Kk, I married late, too. It was HARD. I had a spell of depression after I married in my 30s. Like I couldn't just come and go as I wished any more. Those "come and go, do as you please" instincts become deeply ingrained. It's hard to have to answer to someone when you just want to go hang out with your friends as you used to do.

    Don't have those issues any more with Stage 4 cancer, sorry to say. Just me...only a few friends want to get together. They mostly just want to pretend it's not there.

    Sigh.....


  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2017

    Lita, are you still married? Hard to tell from your post. And, of course, I can't remember anything from previous posts. It is sad some of our friends drift away after our dx. Can't handle it or it scares them like it's catching!

    Without energy it is hard to reach out to others.

    I, too, am in a monarchy. My husband (who by then we had divorced, but was of course part of our lives for the kids) died from throat cancer when he was 45. The kids were 14 & 12. It was all I could do to keep my shit together for them. I was running my own business (Thank God, from my house), caring for aging parents and had teenagers. I think the anger and desperation fueled my fire, so to speak, and I made it through. Now I am 64 (how the heck did that happen?) I had a chance to get remarried right after the kid's father died, but the timing wasn't right. It's all in the timing!

    Now I think about match.com or some such, think how it would be nice to have a partner, friend to do things with, hang out, go traveling with, then I think of sharing my space, time, and (OMG) bathroom with someone else and I say No way. Ha ha!

    When I went off to the Lyme specialist this week, my DD (who give me a ride) gave me a cut little mason jar with flowers for a late Valentine's present. I brought them home on the ferry boat. Since I am not driving I have to go up to the passenger seating area. I plop down in the nearest seat with a table, so most of the people walking on board have to walk by me. I got so many comments about those flowers. Probably started some rumors, on this small island we don't got much else to do in February.

    I am not sure if this is the right place to share about my Lyme stuff, but it is what is affected me the most right now. I am changing up all my meds. Going over to liquids. Trying to get them into my bloodstream faster and to pass the blood/brain barrier, I guess. I am going to do an injectable antibiotic now, too. I had to give my stomach a break. we'll see if I get some more energy and my brain wakes back up. It's is so experimental. I mean, like BC not one protocol fits everyone. We have to keep tweaking and see what works.

    I am still waiting on some new genetic testing my MO ordered. I will see him in March. He is working with me through the Lyme stuff. I can't be the only one to have both dxes. It is such a controversial subject, this Lyme treatment.

    Anyway, I have not found a community anywhere, that is like this one. I am so grateful for the compassion and genuine caring I find here.

  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited February 2017

    macatacmv, yes, I am still married. It will be 27 years in June.

    Lyme disease is really bad, from what I hear. VERY hard to get it under control. Lots of folks get mis-diagnosed, or the Dr thinks it's all in your head. So sorry to hear you have to deal with that on top of cancer.

    Keep us posted on how your TX goes. People out here in ca have gotten Lyme disease now, too, so it's spreading everywhere, sadly.


  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    I married at 39, for the 1st and only time. Not to say there weren't court jesters along the way, but the desire to adopt was strong and for whatever reason, in 1993/94, I felt I had to be married rather than adopt as a single. Little did I know, I would be adopting single as the "king" totally flaked once a kid was in the picture. At 3, she asked me what did we need Daddy for. Slow learner tho. It wasn't until 2004 when the "king" got caught on what was supposed to a fishing weekend with the buds, at a local watering hole, with a kitchen wench. He was booted out and the Queen and her princess have lived relatively happy ever after. There hasn't been a jester in all that time, and honestly, I don't know what I'd do with one if he showed up, so I do life as Queen and damn the rest!

    Lyme's disease. When I worked for the Social Security Attorney, we had 2 different cases of Lyme's. We won benefits for both gals, but it went all the way to hearing and I think one even went to appeal on the Admin Judge's ruling. But it was such a victory!

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2017

    Yes, this is a very much misunderstood "disease". MA did rule that insurance now has to pay for our treatments, but getting a dx is long hard row to hoe. I've been though years of being told it was in my head, that I "might be a little depressed", I should see a psychiatrist.

    My poor MO and BS, just thought I was a real cry baby.

    Anyway, on the way to better health now, just gotta feel worse before I feel better. We can all relate.

    Yay, that you were on the winning side, eph.

    I have a "new" MO now. He's a real sweetheart from jolly ol' England. He's very open to helping me get well again.

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited February 2017

    Well it's a miracle 💕 I have made it to another birthday. Didn't think I would make it to this day a few months ago. Thank you God! Will be low key as DH is sick with a bad cold. Praying I don't get it

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2017

    Happy Birthday, Dianarose! We're glad you're here. Low key is just fine and I hope you have another baker in the family (so you get a nice cake that you didn't have to bake yourself.) Don't share your cake fork with germy husband, but do get a rain check from him for some belated celebrating when he is feeling better. After last year, I am wishing a healthy, stress-free, and chocolatey year for you.

    image

  • Lita57
    Lita57 Member Posts: 2,437
    edited February 2017

    Diana...my DH had a bad cold 2 wks ago. If you have cotton gloves, PUT THEM ON. They do help. They keep the germs off your actual skin and they are a reminder NOT to touch your nose, eyes, etc. Of course, wash your hands frequently too.

    Dr. Lita signing off .


  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    D, loaves & fishes that cake. I want some please. And Happy Birthday!

  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited February 2017
  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited February 2017
  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2017

    image

    image

    (the talking cupcake just really got me chuckling this am!)
  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited February 2017

    Thanks for all the birthday wishes 💕. It was a low key day at home as DH has a terrible cold.

    My first bottle of Ibrance will arrive tomorrow. Very nervous about the side effects yet at the same time glad to get a new treatment started

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2017

    Good Luck with the new treatment, Diana

  • stellamaris
    stellamaris Member Posts: 384
    edited February 2017

    happy belated birthday Diana. Always in my thoughts. You are a true warrior woman :)

  • macatacmv
    macatacmv Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2017

    been staring at the new topper for a few minutes now. Not sure what to take from it.

    We have inner birds just squawking to get out?

    Our lives cause us to bellow to the sky?

    It's probably some famous painting (by some one also famous) That I just cannot recall from my art major classes , oh too many years to count ago. (not to mention that I have no memory at all anymore)

    It has me intriguied, Eli!

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    WOW-I have no clue what E is trying to tell us with that picture!!!!!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2017

    Oh, that? Since we cannot enjoy the perplexities of BC, we must turn to art where the perplexities are almost always enjoyable.

    Or, it may just be a "note to self" reminder that it's time to shave those Winter armpits.

    Work either way, I think.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    my armpit hair never grew back after chemo; no eyebrows (except face hair) and no pit hair. Lots and Lots everywhere else tho'

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited February 2017

    low platelets again so did another round of A/C last Thursday. Got checked on Saturday and they were 54 and the same today. I want off this roller coaster. All I have done is sleep 😴. If they aren't up on Thursday I will have to do another round

  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited February 2017

    I Hope for a better day for you Diana...

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited February 2017

    Dianarose, I always think of Stage IV as being between a rock (MBC) and a hard place (treatment of MBC.)

    image Takes a lot of strength to be the flower!

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited February 2017

    image

    It's Fat Tuesday-may you party for a bit, flash your boobs (or what represents them these days) and get in a nice long sleep to recover and carry on!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited March 2017

    Eph, You are on a real jester kick lately, aren't you? Well, "Laissez les bons temps rouler!"

    [Why, I can remember a time when you could get beads without lifting your shirt, and the Mardis were just as Gras.]

  • Castigame
    Castigame Member Posts: 752
    edited March 2017

    married at 39 to a wonderful guy. Other than no children and absolutely overbearing mother in law, we had no issue. On my 47th, birthday official DX w stage 2B..BAM!! Literally. Cried non stop while hugging each othrr for about 10days. Surgery yielded clear margins on both. Onco appt in 2 days which I plan to ask chemo (8 ROUNDS) ASAP. Still feel guilty about not being able to get pregnant. Until the BAM 2 months ago, I was hoping for immaculate conception of sorts. We had to give it up on the spot. Physically doing quite OK. Psychologically, depression comes from time to time. Thank God for the most loving dog.


  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited March 2017

    so Rebamacfam1-Reba McEntire fan?

    Not such a good bday present but sounds like you have awesome support; dogs rock in that departement. Dont discount adoption. I couldn't have bio kids either, but I adopted and I am a full on mom. I went to China at 41 and adopted a 16 month old who is now 22! You dont indicate your "credentials". Somewhere on the profile page you can add in all sorts of info, and those who have similar dx's and treatments can help you out. you can see mine below. I did chemo and rads and Femara for 5 yrs. Gonna be "celebrating" 8 years from dx in less than a month. At the time it was all consuming; now, not so much! Be sure to have someone with you at the onco appointment. 2nd set of ears and questions helpful.

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