MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Tpralph

Hi middies (is that what you call us?) just diagnosed a month ago, surgery supposed to be may 18th, hoping to get it changed sooner. Just wanted to introduce myself.

Married x 2- second one is a blessing, needs a bit of tweeking at times though. Two adult daughters 30 and 32 both live about 2 hours away so not too bad. have a border collie named Dexter (yes from the tv show, loved the name; however dog not a psycho). Work fulltime as a NP and have 700 patients so I keep busy. Husband retired airforce and has a little business sealing driveways now.  Overall a good time to get cancer (if there is one) as he is home and can help me through this/ with this (don't know final stage yet or what the treatment will be and for how long). Finally over the initial shock. Found a website called "beyond the shock" Great Name for it" but then very lucky to find this site and all the wonderful women (and men) here! 

Happy Easter to all those celebrating!

elimar86861

Tpralph, welcome, and I will say that you are the FIRST to say the timing of your diagnosis was good. I, myself, have said there is never a good time for it, but will admit that it would have been a lot worse for me if my kids were not yet driving back when I was having my treatment. Nice that your husband can be there 24/7 for support as needed. Some ladies don't have family/friends to fall back on, and that makes it truly harder. Keep us posted and let us know if your surgery gets moved up.

p.s. I named a gerbil Dexter once. He was evil and bit to draw blood. The name really fit him.

MinusTwo

Eli - so glad you are able to put the neuroses & illness behind you - or at least behind you for now. Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are - with apologies to MeatLoaf - so I'm glad you're not looking. I like the spaghetti idea better than the ham.

Eph3_12

Tpralph, welcome to the middie world. Some of us started on here back in 2009 when we were all going thru what you are just beginning. Some have joined in over the years. I hope that in and of itself gives you encouragement. My 8th year of diagnosis date was the 2nd of April. 8 yrs ago, I was consumed with fear and felt it for a very long time. I did have a support system, but not a significant other; single mom (daughter was a freshman in high school), my mom was single but blessedly lived less than 2 miles away. I felt like I didn't have the ability to let myself be taken care of though and because of that, it took me a while to recover. I am glad to hear you say that if there was a ever a time to get it, it's now. You will need to talk to those who have been through it. Depending on your treatment, there should be boards that will be for people starting chemo whatever month you may be starting it (if indeed you start it). Actually boards for any part of your treatment, hit search. Questions, someone will be able to help or direct. We don't all check in here daily anymore, but I for one, come in every week or so, mostly to see what's up with some of my favs. Best to you through this process....

Dianarose

Hi everyone, hope everyone has a great Easter 🐣. I am on my week off from Ibrance. I actually get 10 days off due to low platelets but they started coming back up. MO is changing me for the 125's to 100. I actually feel pretty good. Going to make pies with a friend today. God bless e

Loral

Dianarose

Happy Easter everyone

NativeMainer

Happy Easter!

Tpralph

thank you Eph and elimar! Yes scared depressed anxious all of the above just like you were. Looking forward to not being afraid everyday and having a bit if time when I don't think of it.

Congratulations on 8 years Eph! I hope to be able to say that to someone else someday! I can only imagine going through something like this and being a single mom with a teenage daughter. I had two and bit I remember those days. The hormones abound!

Making turkey dinner with all the trimmings today and pumpkin pies. Both brothers and their boys are coming so should take my mind off things for awhile. House will be loud. Enjoy your day everyone

NativeMainer

Tpralph: there does come a time when bc doesn't take up all of your thoughts and feelings. Forgetfulness sneaks in a little bit at a time, here and there, gradually, but it will come. The active treatment phase is hard with bc being the center of everything.

MinusTwo

Eli - love the well. DianaRose - glad to hear you're feeling pretty good. Tpralph - I second Native's post. It's hard to imagine BC moving out of your only focus. Do keep us updated with your surgery coming up in May.

elimar86861

MinusTwo, That is just me "wishing well" every woman from this thread, past and present.

Eph3_12

hmmm, I had a post yesterday in response to MinusTwo's mentioning the well. My post was witty, well-written, and wonderful, but it doesn't look like I hit send!!!! Now, I can't remember what I said! But thanks for the "well wishes" Love ya all!

MameMe

Hi from Maine, Just checking in and am happy to see the overall level of happiness/contentment amongst the ranks. I have popped in over the years, mostly between 2012 and now. The continuity of this thread is WONDERFUL!!! Thanks to all of you who keep it alive, even when bc fades to the background. I am getting better at having my feelings about a change or a new treatment or a progression, and then. getting back to "regular life", in all its many forms. Hugs to all, Mam

elimar86861

Good for you, MameMe! Hey, pop back in and let me know how you "like" (as IF you could like it!) the Doxil. Let's say how you do on it, then, instead. I kind of take notes now for my Stage IV BFF. She went from Xeloda to Afinitor to now Ibrance. Doxil is one she has not experienced yet.

Eph3_12

Facebook came up with a post from a year ago saying that today was the anniversary of my surgery in 2009! 8 years ago today (the 7th; calendar is flipping to the 8th as I type!) The time seemed ridiculously long during the whole thing, but it's been EIGHT years and those have just flown by! To those who are still in the midst of the chaos there can be light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there!

MameMe

Congratulations, Eph, the years do fly, don't they??! So glad to see your smiling face here. I love every little good thing in life all the more now, like a decent cup of coffee, new buds coming out, being able to hang sheets on the line, or feeling our cat settle down on my lap. Yay for what we have and can do.

Eli, so far, no problems with the Doxil. Its only once a month. I had two pain free days right after the infusion, probably due to decadron in the chemo mix. That was dandy! I see the onc team today, maybe more on this later. THanks for asking. Yay for May

heartnsoul76

Nothing like an upcoming visit with the oncologist to bring one back here, is there? Sorry I haven't been here for a while but I hope all the middies are doing well! At least as well as can be expected with this major disruption in our lives. It's kind of annoying how family and close friends think we're okay, isn't it?

I have an appointment tomorrow and of course, I have some issues I want to discuss. I don't know about you guys, but I'm always hesitant to bring up something because she always wants to schedule some kind of test. Plus, I've been a bad girl and forgot to get a follow-up mammogram 4 months ago for a biopsy I had 6 months ago. And I was supposed to get a bone density test because I was supposed to start on Aromasin but her office kept scheduling it within the 2-week window of contrast dye from some other scans she was giving me. So I'm not on Aromasin yet, either. And there's a rash on my bad boob I've been meaning to have the dermatologist look at. YIKES! She's going to be mad! She's going to write in my chart "non-compliant"! No, don't write that! Just write ADD!

Elimar, I was just looking at the age-ish range for this thread and realize now I have grown out of it, too! Let's just skooch that age range up a smidgeon...

Well, when I get nervous I go shopping and I have a 45% off coupon that's absolutely burning a hole in my pocket. Plus it's good on clearance items, too! They may be Christmas items but Christmas will be here before you know it, right?

I almost feel like I shouldn't go tomorrow since she's just wanting to check on my progress and I have nothing to show her. But I do have a few questions and I would like to have my tumor markers checked and it's too late to cancel so I may as well bite the bullet, stiffen my spine, shoulders back, chin up and take my well-deserved tongue lashing...

Ugh.

MinusTwo

Heart & Soul - I vote for holding your head up & asking your questions. If she wants to know what kept you from doing the other tests, just say LIFE. We don't want to think about BC every single day as time goes on.

As for the age - I'm so glad the Eilmar told me a long time ago it was "...ish". I like that a 40-60s have this place to post & I still follow the thread. I don't post much, but I do read.

Eph3_12

I am an ISH! Love this thread. I think that one of my fun things to do this summer will be to start back on page 1. How long do you think it would take to get to real time? I watched 2.5 seasons of MadMen in one night not too long ago!

elimar86861

HnS, You are probably already at your appt., but good luck anyway, and report back...not only about the scolding you get, but what your TMs are when you get those results back. I'm not that good about keeping to strict appt. schedules, so I won't throw any stones over that, but I hope you can get caught up with all the monitoring before too much more time goes by.

OMG, Eph! I think you should at least finish MadMen before taking on 1053 pages of this thread. If I had all the time in the world, I would compile a "greatest hits" of all the fabulous posts on here. For posterity, to prove there are those that LAUGHED as well as cried their way through BC!

Ish, ish, ish, a barrel of fish. Many of our charter members are in the "Ish" age category now, or pretty close to it. I can think of a few ladies that I would love to have post here past age 60, but guess what? They can't; because there is still no cure and they did not make it to age 60 even. So, if I say I am glad that we do have some "ish" members on board, I really mean it!

Bottom line: If this thread helped you get through your BC, then you will always be welcome here.

Eph3_12

Will be starting season 5 of MM this weekend, then need to get my hands on 6 and 7!

Castigame

I am back for moral.support.

Castigame

I am back for moral support.

Official Bilateral DX on my 47th Bday successful BMX w no recon three mos ago. Survived 4DD AC and about to go 4DD Taxol radiations to follow. Spending my time stretching, MLD, self taught yoga of sorts which consists of PT routine.

1. I am quite concerned about DD Taxol. - I have mild arthritis which became more pronounced. After #4, my long ones started making noises non stop. No mobility issues or anything taking a lot of calcium per oncos orders added osteo bio flex very recently. Considering I survived AC - loss of hair and slight to moderate nail discoloration only I may be OK this could be in my head. Been walking every day except two neulasta days of course.

2. I know I am extremely fortunate to have supportive husband and employer. What do you do reduce the general anxiety? I am on low dose Ativan it works quite good but I still get bad day like today.

Thanks for your encouragement

Mimi

Eph3_12

Rebamacfan123: sorry you are having anxiety issues, but hey, life extends lemons, we make lemonade. I have recently become a convert on the essential oils issue and sniffing the lemon and/or wild orange in a diffuser lifts my spirits quite a bit. I don't know the science behind it, but that citrus rush helps me feel better. I am not an anxious person by nature, so when my job gets me going (I am a dispatcher for Oregon State Police) I pull out my bottles and just sniff for a bit! I hope that you can find some peace in your days; sounds like you are doing the right thing with the walking especially. I walk everyday; walked everyday thru chemo too (except day 4 after each round. That day was my kryptonite)

Momine

Mimi, I had similar treatment and my main problem on Taxotere was inflammation, which manifested as body aches similar to what you get with the flu. At first I didn't tell my docs, which was stupid. Once I told them, they gave me anti-inflammatories, which helped a great deal and they extended the steroids slightly. It did take about 3 months to go away completely, but it did pass eventually.

Dianarose

Eph- my Kryptonite lo

elimar86861

Rebamacfan123, If you stop and look at all you have been thru' so far, you will know that you DO have the right stuff to face the upcoming Taxol and radiation. I'm not going to tell you either are pleasant, but reading and joining in on the threads for those two things will give you some great tips to manage the SEs that come up. Don't know Taxol myself, but did have radiation. The majority of women doing radiation, and I mean 2/3 do not have a severe reaction. I was lucky enough to fall into the majority on that, so came out with what amounted to a bad sunburn to sensitive area, and I was able to "nap off" the fatigue each day. The tip I would like to give is to make sure you are eating well and consuming enough protein to build your body back up from the breakdown that chemo and rads puts you through.

As far as the anxiety, it can come in waves and is pretty NORMAL. Sounds like with Ativan and some good support people around you that you are doing a good job managing so far. Plus, be able to vent on BCO really does wonders. You will feel better once you are through active treatment, when you know you have withstood everything they threw at you. But does the anxiety switch flip off then? Even tho' the anxiety lessens, I am sorry to say that it will be with you for a while as you go to those nail-biting follow up scans, etc. Just trust me that there will, one day, come a point where BC will longer be the topmost thought in your mind. It won't always be at the oppressive levels that it is at right now. Hang in there.

duchessoftea

Hello,

I was diagnosed a week before my 43rd birthday last October (2016). I had to go through chemo first because the cancer had spread to my lymph and a tumor was found there as well as the left breast. I finished that and had double mastectomies at the end of Feb ( 2017). I have been "highly encouraged" by my MO to take Tamoxifen.....I just don't know if I can do it after reading all of the difficult stories of women here who have taken it and either the quality of life was horrible or the cancer spread anyway...Since I am only 43 and would come off at 48, I would be producing hormones again anyway...so what is the reason for enduring this only to come off and still have hormones? Is it just to prolong life? I would love anyone's thoughts....Thank you so much!

Lita57

Sorry I can't help you, duchess...I was dx'd with Stage 4 metastatic right from the get go. My cancer wasn't even picked up on annual mammograms because it's occult amorphic (hidden, without shape).

Hopefully someone else can chime in.