Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

Puffin, I am shocked and saddened by this news. Lew will be missed by so many people but especially you. I wish I could do something to make it better for you.

thank you for your excellent advice Anne, I will take it to heart. Spent today writing his obituary and I need to decide on a photo yet before we meet with funeral home tomorrow afternoon. And then since I'm his personal rep I'll need to start sending death certificates and making all the notifications.Dad is here with me now. He sorted through the papers in a large rubbermaid bucket for HOURS today, found more uncashed checks, found a year's worth of envelopes from a bank that had never been opened.

When the hard times of life come, we know that no matter how tragic the circumstances seem, no matter how long the spiritual drought, no matter how long and dark the days, the sun is sure to break through; the dawn will come. The warmth of his assurance will hold us in an embrace once again, and we will know that our God has been there all along. We will hear him say, through it all, "Hold on, my child, joy comes in the morning!"
-Gloria Gaither

Dear Sandra & Mike, Prayers for Mike & you, Sandra, and all those who will be taking care of Mike.

(((((Hugs)))))

Paula

Dear sweet Puffin, the news of Lew's death hit me like an arrow through the heart. I absolutely cannot imagine what you are going through! Bless you and you make your way through these first days and beyond.

Dad and I spent 2 hours with the funeral director this afternoon. I'm bushed, but pleased with how it's coming together.

go to www.hansonrunsvold.com to see the details, service is Mar 25 Good Friday. Lew's photo and obituary have been posted.

I'm going to have a table where we'll spread out items that remind us of Lew: his Segway helmet & keys, a computer keyboard, binoculars, his Bird Watcher Watcher Fieldguide, etc. I'm also going to bring a basket of items he owned (watches, flashlights, headlights, leatherman, some of his gadgets and let each grandchild take an item to remember grandpa with. I'm going to set out our anniversary album, each page has a year's worth of photos of what was significant that year. 39 years in one album. I can only look at it in short spurts or it makes me cry but it's such a treasure. It was just a couple weeks ago that he printed out the photos for me for page 39.

Puffin, good morning! I read the obituary you wrote for Lew.... and you did VERY well! So sorry you are having to go through this.... But every passing day will be a little easier... Just the thought of him falling off of the roof, and the after-math, is what hurts so much!

We only have each other for a little while.... every night I go to bed, and thank GOD for this day, and ask HIM for a million more tomorrow's for both of us....

Anne! That's right! I remember having to get MORE death certificates, for every dang thing Dad had anything to do with! And some WILL accept a copy, other's won't.

My folks had everything pretty much in order.... So I have all of our important papers in one note-book, inside plastic pages.... then kept in a metal cabinet in our closet.... I wrote down every phone number that has to be called... Especially SS.... to stop those checks before they send another one..... Also the girls are on our bank accounts, and we registered a Quit-Claim deed, so the house is in their name....

That way, they can either rent or sell, to help pay for our expenses if we have to be in some other "home".... And we paid for our Cremation...... I just want to be together, with the ashes of our little dog, when we kick the bucket.... That's what my Grandma always used to say... I had to handle everything for her when she had to leave her home.....

So the girls know where everything is.... I have it all written down.... That is of course except the cash Dear Husband has stashed God only knows where.... Somewhere upstairs, in his cubby-hole, under some boards inside a metal box, in between SOMEthing! I've explained this to my Daughter's, and told them just do an inch-by inch search of that little cubby-hole upstairs.....

See, if he TELLS me, then he will think I will maybe lose my mind, somehow, and post this information to the news-papers, and the world will come looking for his money.... and then TAKE it and we will starve to death.

I handle all the money stuff... I write all the checks, and keep track of things he accidentally throws away that we NEED. Like during tax season, and KEEPING those forms that come in that we NEED to keep, that are NOT "junk-mail".... Ha!

And Anne is right, about forgetting little things! You can put sticky-notes all over your house... Our little minds can't absorb all the important things all at once... like what has just happened to you...

So you just take care of yourself, and take it easy....

What a beautiful poem Sharon. Made me a little teary-eyed, but that is ok. I think in my 'older' yrs. I am a little more emotional. I'll be back later to talk more as I have to go to work now.

Blessings,

Jackie

Good Morning Ladies,

Puffin, you wrote a very nice obituary for Lew.

Chevy, My dh and I are getting things in order for our sons.  We are writing where accts are and passwords for online  items. What medications we take and other items they will need to know. My mom had everything paid for and done for us girls. She even wrote her own obituary. All we had to do was talk with the funeral home for a day for the funeral, find photos and do the dinner afterwards(but there was money set aside for that too) On the other hand my MIL does not want to tell the kids anything. We finally insisted that she go to the lawyer to make sure things were set up in case she could not take care of herself. The lawyer was able to tell us things to do since DH is her POA, We spent almost a month getting her things in order for my DH and BIL to take over when necessary. Found accounts she did not remember having.

The results for my CT scan on my lungs are in. The spot is still there and has not gotten any bigger. Both Pulmonary and onc. drs thing it is scare tissue from having bronchitis. Will see the pulmonary dr. in 1 yr.

Sharon, a beautiful poem.

Chevy, what is a quit claims deed

I haven't checked in for months but this morning decided to visit and was met with such sadness. Puffin, I am so very sorry for your loss! Such a shock to lose the love of your life so quickly. It sounds like you have loving support of family and friends to help you during this time, and I join the women of BCO in offering my love and support to you.

Sandra, I hope Mike continues to feel as good as he looks in your picture during his stem cell transplant. My love and prayers are also with you two.

Welcome home Chevy! I've missed your sunny posts and welcome SeedSally as you begin your BC adventure! You've come to the right place for encouragement and a little levity when you need it.

I'll return on another day to give an update on my life, which all seems rather trivial right now.

Sharon, beautiful poem. Puffin, the obit you wrote for Lew made us believe we all knew him. Glad you had those 39 years together and those students had his dedication. Termite, hooray that the lung nodule is probably just scarring.

A quitclaim deed (as opposed to a warranty deed, which you usually get when you purchase a home) is a deed that says the grantor (the person issuing it) “conveys and quits claim” to the portion of his or her interest in the property that he or she is granting to the person receiving it. It’s usually used when someone wants to add someone as a co-owner, or inherits property along with another and decides to give that person their entire interest; sometimes it’s used when the grantor can’t or doesn’t want to “warranty” that he or she has clear title (going back several owners in the chain) to the property--which is why it’s rarely used for the sale of property, but usually used when gifting an interest in it. Sometimes, a sole owner uses it when he or she wants to make a child, sibling or significant other a “joint tenant with right of survivorship” so that upon his or her death, the property doesn’t go into probate but immediately becomes the property of the surviving joint tenant(s). If you don’t use the magic words “joint tenants with right of survivorship and not as tenants in common” (emphasis mine), a court might consider the survivors “tenants in common” along with the estate of the deceased--the property becomes part of the estate and there often needs to be a sale and division of the proceeds before the estate can be closed.

A “warranty deed” is what you probably got when you bought the property.

Haven't received any email notices for the site since March 9th!

Puffin, just reread about Lew's accident. Nothing makes loosing someone we love easier, but when it's so sudden, I know it's even harder. Hugs and praying for you.

A caveat if you are considering giving your assets (including house) to your kids (or your parents are doing the same for you) so that you would qualify for the state to pay for the nursing home via Medicaid: there is a minimum time period that must be met between the “gift” (or spend-down) and entering the facility. In some states it’s as long as 5 years, in others as short as 3. If the senior moves into the facility too soon after giving away or selling their assets, the state could deem them to still own that asset and either not pay or demand recoupment of what they had paid for that period, until that period has been met.

SHELLS!!!!!!!!!! Hi little kiddle! How have you been, dagnabbit??? Man, that is a hard job you have there... I've seen a LOT of that too.... My older friend Theresa..... WAIT A MINUTE HERE.... IS THE TYPING MUCH SMALLER THAN USUAL, OR AM I GOING NUTS?.... The print is so much SMALLER....!

Anyway, first her Husband was moved to Assisted Living, because he was 92.... finally she had to be moved there too.... separate rooms, because they get along better that way... Ha! He got worse, fell..... Then nursing home, and he didn't make it...

But she is 91 now, and just a kick to be around! We go see her about every week, and take her "presents" and just love to sit and visit with her, and make each other laugh! SHE is thriving! And that's amazing in a place like that! She is a feisty little Italian woman... So she and my Husband love to tease each other.

But my Grandma, and the stuff I went through with her, is just what you said! SOME nursing homes are just plain AWful! I moved her 3 times! All different reasons, but couldn't let her stay in a few of those places... Some would give me night-mares.... I know exactly what you mean.... Some people have no-one else... and they would be better off to put them out on the ice, like they used to do in Alaska, and let them leave this world peacefully. It's even WORSE when the people still have their minds, and have no-one in their life to care for them!

Sandy, I know.... You are right, but the reason WE did, is like our neighbor's did... To rent out the house, and that money would be used to care for us... Also, with money in the bank, there is no way the State would help take care of you.... that care is for folks, like my Grandma, that only had a minimum amount in their bank... And a house that would not sell.... So her house had to go back in her name, and we could only charge enough rent to pay for the taxes and insurance.... By that time anyway, maybe a matter of months, she was bed-ridden, and then I lost her.... And the State would give her just $30 a month, for her "necessities"... But without them helping me, I could not take care of her....I couldn't get her house to sell, she ran out of money, and I was thankful the county helped us out.

I know people DO put their assets in their kids names.... but that is to hide their money, and that has to be done like a certain amount of time, before anything happens.

Most accounts are better off with your kids names on them, and POD.... That way, they can write checks for your care when you can't.... My older friend has Macular degeneration and cannot see hardly anything...... So Thank God for her Son & DIL... Her assets and what money they had is going for her care... which it should.... That Assisted Living place is $3,000 a month... But of all the "HOMES" this is a nice one...

Good Morning Puffin.... thinking of you....... (((hugs)))