Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?

IllinoisLady

No snow flurries today -- just some rain, but thankfully not too much Rita. Interesting day yesterday. Was going to see about brakes and struts for my car as it was beginning to feel so funny. Dh said those things plus a couple of other things I needed ( not quite as badly as the brakes and struts ) would run above $1,000.00. I just spend several hundred on fuel pump and alternator. So on the spur of the moment -- we went car shopping.

Ended up getting a very nice Chevy Equinox ( never truly my heart's desire ) which had one owner and they were older folks who kept up the maintenance like clock-work -- so we have a nice car again. It is 2011 but pretty much looked brand-new. I have enjoyed driving it so far. Much smoother and nicer than my 2004 Blazer. A few new things to learn -- like not shifting on the column anymore but in the middle where you have to hold a button down at the same time you shift. That has 'caught' me several times. Nice steering and braking which was never that great in the Blazer -- but this new one is front wheel drive and Blazer was 4-wheel so was a little clumsier that way.

Quiet day today. Went shopping in Mt. Vernon for a couple things I needed and couldn't find here. Stopped at Steak & Shake so I could get my Garlic Burger. Some day I will get tired of those, but I sure don't know when for sure.

Stopped at Lowes and looked at new kitchen doors. Ours is barely hanging on so we will replace it soon. Doors are pretty expensive, but we found one we liked which was vinyl so a bit more reasonable. Also, it looks pretty much just like the one we have now which we really, really like. So that is on the list and some time after we are going to update and replace the ceiling lights in the kitchen. It is always something it seems.

Sandra, sure hope that soon Mike's system can turn that corner, perk right up and take care of him. Everything crossed for you and him.

See you all later.

Jackie

Chevyboy

Have any of you seen this? My Brother posted it on his FB page, and if you know of anyone with Parkinson's, this is amazing!

http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/patients-pedal-past-parkinsons-10264680

IllinoisLady

When we're helping other people, we're nourishing our soul.
Depression or unhappiness means we've got the wrong goal.
We have forgotten that peace of mind is our only goal.
By concentrating on helping another person, we renew contact
with our soul and with God. We can feel peaceful again. . . .
Peace of mind has nothing to do with the external world;
it has only to do with our connection with God. Love really is
the answer. We're here only to teach love. When we're doing that,
our souls are singing and dancing. When we remind ourselves
that we are spiritual beings, that life and love are the flame eternal,
that's when our soul is nourished.

Gerald Jampolsky

IllinoisLady

That video was amazing Chevy. That is what took my Dad. I sure hope good research keeps going on. Nearly everyone could do "riding" exercises since we do have stationary bikes that you could have at home and not be subjected to some of the problems of being outdoors. That is just phenomenal to see.

Well, a lot of errands and loose ends, but I will be back later.

Blessings,

Jackie

Seedsally

Oh wow ! That video is something. I was amazed.

Wren44

That would get even me on a bike. Not a real one in traffic, but at least an exercise bike. Like the one collecting junk in my basement.

Chevyboy

Yeah, me too Wren! I have a recumbent bike just waiting for me to get on it... Supposed to help my hip & mobility, but I've been too busy this Spring working in the gardens... And since it was outdoors, with a tarp for the Winter... I didn't use it then either!

Puffin2014

I purchased a niche today at a columbarium in south Fargo. The death certificates arrived today, I spent most of the afternoon at the bank where he had his checking and savings accounts, found out he had a checking account I'm not listed on so that adds some complication. Dropped off slacks, socks and underwear to the men's homeless shelter. Feels like I cross off 3 items on my to-do list and add 5 more.

IllinoisLady

Puffin, I think it is going to be that way for awhile. I hope you don't run into too many other complications. Dh and I have separate checking accts and maybe I'll have to think on that a bit. I do know it makes a difference but I'm a bit tighter with money than Dh and we found that over-all it works better. We both used to be on the same acct. but it didn't work out well. My 'savings' always turned up missing so we had to fix that.

Beautiful afternoon and I haven't got near done what I mean too. I'll have to make up the next few days I think.

Blessings

Jackie

Chevyboy

We have our Daughter's on our accounts.... So if something happens to us, they can write checks for anything they need for our care... A POA, or DPOA takes care of that also...... Sometimes, your accounts are POD to whomever you designate... If not, I think it is taken care of through Probate or a will?

Same as with your house.... If you have a TOD with someone listed, then it doesn't go into probate.... And they can then sell, or rent, or move in...

Always SOME complications.... I remember trying to track down my Grandma's accounts... She at one time had 3 banks, because she didn't trust any of them.... But found out, those accounts had been closed, and the little she had was just in one bank.... But it was a LOT to her....She would rather have it in the house, instead of where "other people could get it".....

ritajean

Congrats on the new car, Jackie. It is always so much fun to get new "wheels." Enjoy it because it sounded like you would have had to put quite a bit of money into your Blazer to keep it going. Now you have something reliable.

I have all my bank accounts in both my son's and my names. My lawyer advised me to do this. That way he can get automatic access to it when it's needed and then it converts directly to him upon my death.

My kids are arriving for Easter so I have lots to do this week to get ready for them. Hopefully the weather will be good for their visit and then we head home at the end of the month.

Chevyboy

That's GREAT Rita! When my Grandma had her heart attack, I was the only one around... So the Hospital staff, helped advise me what I should do... Along with where they placed her... She was my responsibility then...

I had to take her WITH me to the bank, but by this time, she didn't know what she was doing, or even where she was... But we got it taken care of. People usually wait to take care of things, and then it's a big mess...

And that was the reason we did a quit-claim deed for the girls... Our neighbors Son, is taking care of his Mom's expenses, by renting out her home, while she is in Assisted Living... She could not have done this... Mostly because she has Macular Degeneration, is 91.... But she is doing great... for all that she is going through.

Have fun with your kids Rita! Supposed to rain/snow tomorrow, but that's okay...

ritajean

You were lucky that they didn't declare your grandma mentally unfit to sign for the money exhange. That happened to my Dad. My step-mother was a very greedy person who didn't want to share anything. She had a couple of CD's with only her name on them. My Dad had tried to get her to put somebody else on the CD's with her and she refused. Long story made short....she got dementia and had to be put into a nursing home. By this time my Dad was in a wheel chair because of advanced arthritis and couldn't take care of her. They needed money but Dad couldn't get into the CD's and the court wouldn't accept her signature at that point because they claimed she was mentally incapable of making that decision due to the dementia. What a mess! I guess we learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others.

It is cool here this morning in Florida but the sun is out and the temps will rise during the day. I hope everyone has a good Tuesday. We are going to our favorite pizza place on the Cape this evening for half-price pizza! The place is always crowded but it's well worth the wait and the price is right! :-)

Chevyboy

Yes.... good point! I remember taking my Grandma to her attorney, BEFORE she had the heart-attack.... and before that started her dementia.... She wanted her will changed.... to take my cousins, who never cared for her, off of her will! Some didn't even come to her funeral...! And never saw her those two years when things got so bad....

Grandma and Grandpa never had much.... and the only thing they left was their little house that Grandpa and my Dad built... It didn't sell for much in those days either... I think about 1982....

Her attorney, read her the part, of "being of sound mind...etc".... She WAS at the time... but family's are sometimes just up-side down.... And then it is up to the courts to try and straighten things out.

I don't expect the State to take care of us either... Some people have no choice though.....

carolehalston

Hello to everyone. My mother is still in the hospital after suffering a stroke on March 12 at 1 am in the morning. She had a continuation of the stroke three days later. Fortunately, her mind has not been affected but she lost control of the left side of her body, particularly her leg. Progress has been slow and she is still unable to transition. The hospital case worker is supposed to be locating a skilled nursing/rehab facility to take her for 3 wks. Medicare pays for 20 days, explaining the time frame. The world of hospital care revolves on what insurance pays.

I have been to the hospital every day and spent one night there. My youngest brother, 54, came from OK and was wonderful. He stayed every night with her when he was here and he's a good nurse and knows his way around a hospital. His wife was a hospital nurse before she burned out. I have requested that the hospital try to place my mother in a facility near me. I have no confidence that she will ever be able to live independently again. She's 93. The facility I'm referring to is new and very nice. I went over there yesterday and was given a tour. She could go from skilled nursing/rehab into nursing home care without having to be relocated.

My younger sister's name is on my mother's checking account and my mother's house now belongs to the brother I mentioned. Other than that there are no assets except personal belongings.

So that's what has been going on in my world. Things can always be worse.

Jackie, I'm happy that you have a new to you car. I love my Prius that is a year old now. That gas mileage has come in handy with all the travelling back and forth to the hospital that's 20 miles away.

Minus, I hate that you had that fall. You didn't deserve to have an accident happen.

Puffin, I think about you and send comforting thoughts. It's not going to be easy to get along without Lew.

Sandra, I hope Mike continues to surprise everyone with his resilience.

Chevy, you returned just when we all needed a sunny personality.

MinusTwo

Carole - so sorry to hear about your Mother. You'll be in my thoughts.

ritajean

Carole, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I wondered why you hadn't posted lately and unfortunately now I know. I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers and sincerely hope that the nursing facility that's near to you works out. I imagine that you are exhausted. Hang in there.

Puffin2014

Sorry to hear about your mom Carol, hope they have her set up with some good physical therapy

Chevyboy

Oh Carole.... I'm so sorry! Yes, things can always be worse, but it's just plain hard to see your loved ones going through this.... My child-hood friend had a stroke.... but it was about 5 hours before anyone found her.... Her right side is somewhat better, but she still has Aphasia.... unable to speak... In a wheel-chair, and WAS in rehab after the hospital, but yes.... they have to go someplace else when the Insurance stops!

She was lucky to be able to have her Son, who lived close, move in with her.... She needs 24 hour care... It just breaks your heart to see her, and try and talk to her! She can answer "YES, or NO".... but her speech is just frantic and hurried when she try's to talk on her own.... Everything just gets garbled.... They take her out to plays, and events, and to restaurants....

I think her Son is a SAINT! She is only my age... and used to traveling all around the world.... WITH her little 80 some year old "boy-friend".... He is still a part of her life....

It's so hard to visit her.... When I leave, I think, There, but for the grace of GOD go I....... You just never know........

I will stay posting here.... You guys are so easy to get along with!

lindab142

I haven't been here in ages. Sorry, radiation was hell and the recovery was exhausting. I'm back to work full-time.

Puffin, I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you. I agree that it's good for you to be with friends for Easter.

The end of March is the 37th anniversary of my Dad's death. He died before Passover and income taxes were laid out on the dining room table. Sigh.

Jackie, congrats on the new car. COPD - that scared me. I have it - about 2 years now. Have to think about making some decisions.

ChiSandy, Passover is coming so close. I have to clean (got the kitchen and dining room walls washed so far). You'll be in Paris? How exciting.

Right now, I'd go anywhere, have talked to my cousin on Facebook in VA about a visit. Now I gotta research a plane ticket. Can go to a weekend retreat in May if I want to travel 14 hours both ways (I don't)

Sandra, glad to hear Mike got the transplant and is recovering. It'll take a look time. My friend had one in Sept. and she's doing well now and has taken on some of the donor's attributes ... her nails are tougher and she craves salts instead of sweets.

Carole, I'm sorry to hear about your mom's stroke.

Chevy, nice to meet you. I was thinking "There, but the grace of G-d, so I" - thanks for posting it.

My status: I tried the arimidex for 1 week and had to go off. It interferes with some other meds that I take. I see the Dr. this week, but I don't think I'll be taking anything.

Glad I am back to being interested in jewelry making and am making Mother's Day necklaces now. Just have to take some photos and get them listed on my website. I'm trying to keep up with housework and stuff, but my energy goes out around 8pm after work. So laundry doesn't get folded ... have about 3 loads piled up in the basket now. But, it'll be done.

I'm glad to be alive and even with a little boob pain. I bumped into a door handle a few days ago. And the surgical area seems really hard; I'll ask the Dr. when I see her.

If I forget to say it, Happy Easter everyone.

Linda

IllinoisLady

A thin line separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. Our lives constantly walk that line. When we slip off on one side or the other, we're taken by surprise. But who said there wouldn't be surprises? Knowing God just means that all the rules will be fair; at the end of our life drama, we'll see that. We never know how things will turn out, but if we know with certainty they will make sense regardless of how they turn out, we're on to something. -Barbara Johnson

IllinoisLady

I'm very late today. Carole, I too wondered a couple of times what was up with you. You come pretty consistently. Usually by now I'd have probably pm'ed but never quite made it. Bit busy buying that car I guess and lost track. I am sorry to hear about your Mom. Strokes are scary to have and to watch. I'm glad that your Mom has retained her mental abilities and speech. I think ( having been in the condition myself however briefly ) that it is scary when you can't get through to your loved ones and just as hard for them when they can't talk to you. I was able to talk and move well until I went to sleep and after sleeping several hours I couldn't talk or move much. It slowly came back, but for a while I was really scared. I hope the new Rehab/Nursing home works out. It would be so much easier for your Mom not to have to re-adjust two or three times.

Linda, good to see you back too. Rads can be 'tiresome' with a capital T. I made myself walk whenever I felt any tiredness at all. I'm glad you are getting back to normal now. It is a great thing to get through your txs -- whatever they are, and get to a place where you are feeling a lot more like YOU again. I can almost remember the day I discovered I didn't mind being me again.

Still thinking about you Puffin......it's a high hill to climb sometimes. Also have Mike and Sandra on my mind too. We just seemed to have all drifted into a 'problem' time and we all have to keep holding hands and helping each other through.

Chevy -- me too. I'm glad you are back here too. You were very missed. Though often you get us all in a really lighthearted mood ( needed ) you also have great life stories and really good advice about life. You just never know when you will be able to hold someone up or give them a bit of courage or hope.

It is really warm today but so darn windy. Usually at nightfall the wind settles down. So, I'm hoping before too long it will get quiet. We will have a couple of cooler days, and maybe one or so of rain -- then back to the nice warmth of Spring. Our trees are still pretty bare but the leaves will start coming out soon. We sure have a lot of green starting around us.

Stay well......

Jackie

Luvmaui

Wow "you just never know" is exactly right! Carole, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Was she able to get to the phone and call 911? It's very scary when someone you love lives alone.......it seems that these types of emergencies always happen in the middle of the night. Sandra, I hope Mike is doing better this afternoon and that little bugger of a splinter isn't making more problems. Puffin, it looks like you are very organized. I know when I write down one or two things on a list it reminds me of three or four other things I need to do.

We have put everything we own in a Trust with our Financial Planner son and our attorney as executers (sp), so there won't be any need for probate and our will is included in the Trust. We still need to distribute our personal valuables to each son & their families and that's become a difficult thing to make sure each one of the grandchildren is given something of value fairly. I have decided that my 3 most valuable rings will be given to my granddaughters with the oldest receiving the most expensive piece. I hope we have a lot more time to figure out how to divide the rest.......however "you just never know"!

Chevyboy

Morning gals... Well, it's snowing again... Guess we won't be going out to see our Theresa... That reminds me of that commercial, She calls her Son and says "Well, the bats are in the attic again, and your Dad won't call the exterminator"... And he is fighting off the bad guys, and she thinks it is noisy, and he must be taking a Zoomba class.... Hah!

We went for another walk yesterday afternoon... We make it about a mile.... NOT today.

Maui, your kids won't want to do that while you are "around" to them you are eternal... it brings up painful things to talk about... After my folks were gone, I took home, on the plane, a few favorite things... Even my Dad's pillow...

I've been thinning out "stuff".... I show Janie, and if she wants it GOOD, otherwise I donate it to the Family Tree center... I have a Bin, upstairs with my Grandma's, and my folks special memories... A dress that was my Mom's... and just things that bring them back to me.... There are just some things even I can't think about getting rid of... That's okay.... Sooner or later it will be taken care of.

Yes Linda! Just more fun to crochet, or read, or make beaded jewelry, or cook or go for a walk, or mix up more soil to plant my tomatoes... Ha! But NOT doin' anything outdoors today...

Jackie, by the time you get done figuring out that new car of yours, you can GIVE advice... Ha! It's like magic that I never have to turn on my LIGHTS! It's magic! They know just what to do, and WHEN! And it TELLS you if the roads are "icy!" Like you can't figure that out whilst spinning nose to tail in circles! It's rather dis-heartening to know your car is smarter than you are, and can "sense" important things going on!

And it SHOWS me when a tire is low, or when a door is open, or the TRUNK even! Sometimes I just go out there, and sit in my car, and we talk to each other!

carolehalston

My brother's wife's new car tells the driver when it is safe to change lanes. I wish my car had that option. I like the blue tooth connection with my cell phone. I can make calls with my voice and incoming calls turn the radio volume down.

I had cramps in my ankles last night and a couple of hours of staying awake and thinking gloomy thoughts. Hate those episodes. I'm thinking I will take myself to the gym in a few minutes. My sister is at the hospital during the am and I will be going to relieve her about noon. Still no placement at a skilled nursing/rehab facility. One of my brothers visited my mother early this morning and texted that she was trying to exercise on her own, leaning forward from the waist. That's a good sign that she hasn't given up.

Mr. Gomez delivered 20 bales of pine straw early this morning. The doorbell rang at 7:30 am! DH wrote a check for payment. The pine straw is for mulching flower beds. I wish Mr. Gomez had brought one of his Mexican workers to do the weeding, which is my job.

IllinoisLady

Whether you know it or not, one of the most important relationships in
your life is with your Soul. Will you be kind and loving to your Soul,
or will you be harsh and difficult? Many of us unknowingly damage
our Souls with our negative attitudes and actions or by simple neglect.
By making the relationship with your Soul an important part of your
life, however, by honoring it in your daily routine, you give your life
greater meaning and substance. Use your experiences--all of
them--as opportunities to nourish your Soul!

Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

IllinoisLady

Good sunny morning to everyone,

Chevy, I think you are right. My car could become almost my best friend ( except maybe on payment day ) with what it knows. I don't know if I said, but when backing up --- a little section of the rear-view mirror becomes a camera and shows you just what is or is not behind you. I'm going to have to play around with that a bit. So far, every time I've used reverse nothing HAS actually been behind me --- so I need to figure just where when something is --- is it really. I mean what size and how close actually. I'm not a good backer-upper so even if I can see something --- that darn feature might end up HELPING me to hit it. We will see I guess. It has a whole lot of settings -- even telling you what mileage to expect under different conditions. I'm not liking that the gas and temp/oil gauges are fairly small -- but in my other car they were bigger and easier to 'glance' at. All things to get used to.

Carole, I'm with you on the changing lanes thingy. I don't know yet about this car but there was a really bad blind spot in my Blazer. I hated that. Only about a month or so before trading I went to the drive-thru at Dh's bank. A car pulled into the next lane and rolled their window down. An older couple and you could tell. Well, he told me that I had cut him off and he almost hit me......but once he looked in my car and saw we were 'older' he didn't come on too strong. Had to apologize profusely for 'not' seeing him at all. There is so little space ( I normally looked for a long time before changing lanes in my Blazer ) around the bank that I just had to go ahead and jump over. So, I would truly appreciate that feature.

I also think your Mom is amazing Carole. She has reverence for life and is determined to put her best foot forward. I sure hope this nursing/rehab can happen. It sounds like she would do VERY well. Whatever came later -- staying in the facility or -- she would be greatly prepared for it. She has some stamina and grit. Good for her.

I know it is hard sometimes to "think" positive thoughts. I think it is partly because change is difficult for many of us and all the more so when it seems it could involve big changes and even losses. It is difficult to let go of the what if's because we want things to be at least reasonably good. It makes us feel more in change, but truthfully ---- I don't think we have ever been REALLY in charge. It is easier to feel that is so when things are good -- but when not, we do suffer a bit. Hoping that it all sorts out.

Blessings

Jackie

Chevyboy

Jackie, you can't just go around running into people in the parking lots.... tends to get them irate... If you are going to bump them, tell them you did it on purpose, because you didn't have enough room with their big clunker in the road. Then put your car in drive and run as fast as you can.

My Chevy Cruz doesn't have anything on no mirror, warning me of anything... I find, if you park in front of stores, like Starbucks, use their reflector windows to see all that is in back of you, then use your Husband to watch one way, while you watch the other.... and honk the whole time you are doing this.... We need those back-up toots those trucks use when they are in reverse! That would warn people of what we are doing.

Yes we ARE older, so therefore we rule. My friends car has this screen that shows the whole world in back of you! I would cover that thing with a shirt or something... Don't need to get all confused... or confusder... (that's a new word)

We just need to know what we can see.... in front... the back can take care of itself. If anyone nicks your car, get out and beat the holy hell out of them.... Then call the Police. Or carry a small pistol, and shoot out one of their head-lights.... scares them every time. Then like I said previously... RUN!

IllinoisLady

I just got the best advice there is !!!!!!!! I really like the put it in drive immediately and run like the dickens.

Jackie

Chevyboy

No.... it's run like "billy-hell"..... My Mom used to say that about "things".... It has more "bite" to it... More authority!