Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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One of those days when this quote just came to life for me before I came to read the new entries here. We are our brother and sister's, and mom's and dad's keepers --- just as perhaps our children or someone close will be for us when the time comes. If we don't all care about each other and how we all should try and make it good for everyone, not just ourselves, we won't do very well.
The busy world often makes it so difficult for us to care about some things, and I so hope and pray we can get back to just simply caring and loving and do what we can to try and make a difference.
I've worked in some of 'those' nursing homes and it was not pleasant. My private duty type obligations are much easier on the mental/emotional side for me now. I could never go back to the 'homes' because of how bad it is, but also because I could never now keep up anyway.
Sunny here today, and I sure hope it holds. It was so nice yesterday too. Went and voted and drove most of the way home with my window down it was so nice. Hoping today is more of the say.
Thoughts, prayers, and many healing energies still being sent along today.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Sharon, what a beautiful poem, thank you. I met with the pastor for an hour this morning and really liked him and think he'll do a good job of honoring Lew. Called Social Security and also cancelled his supplemental health insurance. The extremes are leveling off a bit. Thank you for all your comments and support
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Blessings for you Puffin. And we are here for you.
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A child's kiss
Set on thy sighing lips shall make thee glad;
A poor man served by thee shall make thee rich;
A sick man helped by thee shall make thee strong;
Thou shalt be served thyself by every sense
Of service which thou renderest.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning -
(((((Puffin)))))
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Puffin - from another silent admirer who is following you on your most recent journey.
Sending prayers and hope that you can continue healing through the love and support surrounding you...
Julie
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- Mornin all,We thought our baby girl was going to make her appearance last night . My DD went to Dr and asked about inducing because she is so uncomfortable. He won't even discuss it till next week's appt, when she will be 38 weeks. But he did what she said was a very uncomfortable internal exam. Then he said something about "scratched the membranes" and said it might start the labor. She was very crampy, but nothing came of it. The kids are on spring break as of yesterday, so I suggested she bring the kids here so we wouldn't have to move them in the middle of the night. It took till 9:30 for them to agree, and the kids hadn't had dinner yet. Then the big question: do I take my sleeping pills or not? I am her main support for labor and delivery. Her husband will be there, but basically will be a couch potato until the actual delivery. He will leave the hospital about half hour after, to take a nap, and will come by the hospital for 10 minutes a day till she is released. Last time, he gave me his "daddy bracelet", wHich meant I didn't have to check in every time I came, I got 50% off hospital meals, and best of all, I could go with Kayden as the did their stuff, like test his hearing and circumcision. Although I stayed in the hall for that one.
- {{{hugs Puffin}}}
- Anne
- Dont know why I am getting the bullet points and don't know how to stop them, sorry
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When you ignore your soul's destiny, when you get caught up in
your own self-interests and forget to care for others, you will not
feel "right." Instead, you will feel empty and unfulfilled. During
these times, you are neglecting your soul--you are depriving it of nourishment. . . . seek something outside your nine-to-five job
as an additional source of fulfillment and as a way to feel the joy
of helping others. You can do any number of things to fulfill this goal--volunteer at a community hotline, coach a Little League
team, donate your time to a public school, visit the sick.
Whatever you choose, you will gain a sense that you are
giving of yourself, that you are sharing yourself with
the world, that you are fulfilling the destiny of your soul.
Rabbi Harold Kushner -
Busy day today. Ed finished the shingling, so glad to have that behind us. Took a memory stick to FedEx and had them make an 8x10 photo of the picture I used for the obit (with more of the picture showing, they really cropped it for the newspaper), returned the extra shingles for a refund, saw the lawyer - don't need to file the will, don't need probate, don't need to post a notice to creditors in the newspaper. Have to wait a month and then submit the form to transfer the title of his car to me, and then I can sell the car. We bought a new toilet seat and Dad has that installed, he also glued my mailbox number back on the box. I cancelled the Mediterranean cruise, I think I want my first vacation alone to be something smaller than a 10 day trip to Europe.
Ed will be here tomorrow morning to get Lew's chair and shelf unit, and take my dad home, they'll return next week on Thursday for Friday's funeral.
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Puffin - I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts.
Sandra - hoping everything is going as well as can be expected.
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Puffin, sometimes busy is good. Good idea about the cancelling the cruise. That would be much too long under the circumstances. Still thinking of you knowing there will ups and downs for some time to come. You will have to get through all the "first's " alone. First Easter, First Memorial Day, First Father's Day and all that come after, including anniversary and birthdays. The First's were the hardest for me, but lost Dad in 96' and Mom in 98' and it is ok now. Keeping you and your family in my daily prayers.
Jackie
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Morning Puffin.... Glad you are getting things in order...
We didn't have to file a will either.... for when my Grandma passed away, and then my folks... because everything was already in our names...My Brother and I just had to pick up the pieces, and try and get things in order, just like you are doing....
I don't remember what my Brother did with Dad's car! I know he went down to the motor vehicle place with Dad's neighbor... (This closest friend/neighbor drinking buddy of Dad's) and gave the car to him, for $10. He was like Dad's guardian angel for many years....
You had to do so MUCH! Sorry about canceling the trip.... but like my gal-friend, she waited a few months, and then missed traveling so much, she joined some Elder group, and finally went on her first trip alone! She loved it, and it brought her back to life after her Husband passed away.
THEN she was gone traveling around the world so much, I couldn't keep track of her.... She LOVED it... Even joined a local RV/motor-home group, and drove all around this State with them.
And THEN she started volunteering at different places, and businesses...so she kept pretty busy...
Her Son was like your Ed.... really close to her, and always helped her out.
Jackie! I didn't KNOW that! That you lost your folks in those years... So did I! First Mom in 96, right before Easter... Then Dad in 99... I can't ever "visit" them, because they are in California, BUT, I can always visit the house they used to live in, because of Google! I just type in their address, and I'm standing in front of their house that was so full of memories for me.... THAT, and my house has so many of their THINGS that I brought back, it's like they are always in my thoughts.
So it was almost 20 years ago today that I lost Mom... thank you for the memory! Isn't it wondrous how little things you see, or that happen, bring you right back to them?
It snowed a FOOT here night before, and yesterday.... But the ground was so warm, it's not sticking around....
Morning Puffin.... Glad you are getting things in order...
We didn't have to file a will either.... for when my Grandma passed away, and then my folks... because everything was already in our names...My Brother and I just had to pick up the pieces, and try and get things in order, just like you are doing....
I don't remember what my Brother did with Dad's car! I know he went down to the motor vehicle place with Dad's neighbor... (This closest friend/neighbor drinking buddy of Dad's) and gave the car to him, for $10. He was like Dad's guardian angel for many years....
You had to do so MUCH! Sorry about canceling the trip.... but like my gal-friend, she waited a few months, and then missed traveling so much, she joined some Elder group, and finally went on her first trip alone! She loved it, and it brought her back to life after her Husband passed away.
It used to be called ElderHostel, but now it is Road Scholar....
THEN she was gone traveling around the world so much, I couldn't keep track of her.... She LOVED it... Even joined a local RV/motor-home group, and drove all around this State with them.
And THEN she started volunteering at different places, and businesses...so she kept pretty busy... Just take care of yourself..............
Her Son was like your Ed.... really close to her, and always helped her out.
Jackie! I didn't KNOW that! That you lost your folks in those years... So did I! First Mom in 96, right before Easter... Then Dad in 99... I can't ever "visit" them, because they are in California, BUT, I can always visit the house they used to live in, because of Google! I just type in their address, and I'm standing in front of their house that was so full of memories for me.... THAT, and my house has so many of their THINGS that I brought back, it's like they are always in my thoughts.
So it was almost 20 years ago today that I lost Mom... thank you for the memory! Isn't it wondrous how little things you see, or that happen, bring you right back to them?
It snowed a FOOT here night before, and yesterday.... But the ground was so warm, it's not sticking around....
We took turns shoveling... Really a heavy wet snow... Called off the gardening for a day or so!
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Morning everyone. I felt the same about my mom and dads memories Chevyboy. I have suchgood ones. Those pics were gorgeous.
Puffin I have never been on a trip like that and am too much of a homebody to do it. But we do own a second home in the Missouri Ozarks. I love it there. We have a few friends that live around us there. My only regret is I don't get to go there enough. My husband goes with his friends to hunt during the different seasons. When I go I take my knitting and just relax for a couple of days. I sit outside sometimes and just watch and listen to nature. And would you believe the official name of the community is "Wilderness". I feel like Laura ingals Wilder when I'm there. Have a good day everyone
Sharon
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Sally! When our Husbands used to go hunting or fishing, some of us gals would go out DANCING and drinking and just have a blast! It's like when the cat's away, the mice will play....
We married so young... like 20.... And I never went to a club or a party.... just became a wife and Mommy, but THEN, after we all grew up, I found it FUN to hang out with the girls while THEY were gone.... Fun memories! We could hardly wait for their next trip!
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Usually we'd go to Brainerd and spend Easter with Lew's sister's family. We'll have just been with all the family on Good Friday for the funeral, and I really don't want to drive the 2 1/2 hours each way to go to Brainerd for Easter. Our good friends have invited me to drive out to the lake with them and have Easter dinner with their cousin, who I know and have been to her home, so I'm going to do that.
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Mornin all
Puffin- I think it is a great idea to go with your friends for Easter. If you were with family, it would probably just be an extension of Fri. Maybe by next year you will be able to enjoy family and talking about Lew. This year you need a break, especially with timing
HELP!! My iPad has bit the dust! My DD was ordering some stuff for Amazon when the screen went all funny and I haven't been able to get it back on. I charged it all night, but nothing has changed. Thank Goodness I have already gotten my tax return, just wasn't planning to use it on an iPad. I know this is a minor issue in light of other things we are or have been dealing with, but I am lost without it.
I will be off to buy a new one right after my DGD's soccer game at noon.
Anne
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented,
fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other
people won't feel unsure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
(often attributed to Nelson Mandela,
who used it in his 1994 inaugural address) -
IllinoisLady I loved the truth in your post. It's very thought provoking. Thank you
Anne right now all issues are major. There are no minor ones. I don't know what I would do right now if it wasn't for my iPhone and computer. They seem to be a lifeline for me. Without them I wouldn't be able to connect with you guys and you all have helped keep me from spiraling into a place I don't want to be. My faith and my friends (includes you guys) are what I am clinging to.
Puffin you need to do something different for now. It will give your mind a rest. And you'll then gain strength to go forward.
We are all here for each other! And I thank God for that.
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Puffin, I'm glad you have nice plans for Easter. I think Anne is right -- it would be too much like re-doing Friday. I will say --- when we did my Mom's funeral, I remembered almost nothing. I drifted through the whole event, thinking I was FULLY aware, but I think in hindsight I was far from it. I think it is one of the soul's protective measures.
Anne, erg, for you. Electronics and I part ways so easily. My first ( dark ages almost ) computer experience was in a huge office ( radiology ) where really big machines spit out cards with a lot of info on them plus lots of punched holes. Fast forward to home computers and at first I thought only people who were really well off could purchase them. Our first 'used' one and nearly used up by the way was one that used DOS and yikes. Come a long way since then but sill woefully ignorant about the whole thing. So, I feel your frustration. Also about the fact that your tax refund has to go for that.
Chevy -- memories are great. I couldn't love my Mom and Dad more. My Dad had Parkinson's disease which slowly over time just got him to a point where he could no longer really eat. I know it is said that when one spouse leaves, the other goes from grief, but my Mom was actually sick while she cared for Dad the last few months of his life. She had C.O.P.D. and so a couple of yrs. after Dad, she joined him. I didn't learn until after Mom passed away that someone with
C.O.P.D. usually only has about five yrs. before their lungs can no longer sustain them. I'm glad I didn't know that beforehand. There are days when wanting to reach out and touch them again, hear their voice directly again, just is so strong that I almost feel totally engulfed, but most of the time there is just a feeling inside of gratefulness that they were mine and I was theirs and often many of the things I feel, say or do, is tied up in hoping still that I'm making them proud of who they raised. I'm extremely ( we did have some really rough times though ) proud of them. I realized in my older years that while some of our life events together ( some drinking issues ) were not too happy --- I would not be who I am today if life with them had not of un-folded just the way it did.Renews my faith that our life is planned to make sure that we have life situations and other opportunities that broaden our scope and understanding. When I look back at what one time seemed random and very disconnected, I find it has magically dovetailed almost perfectly and has created a pattern helping me to bloom as fully as I can from all the scattered seeds.
Seedsally, I am much like you -- a homebody. I did all the things ( traveling ) when I was young and in the service ( WACS ) and I'm most comfortable when I'm home and in the little world that is there. I also go out daily and feed feral cats around town as well as having a menagerie here --- so I can't go far or be too long usually. When I go stay at my patients house -- I can leave long enough to go feed the feral cats, and sometimes run back home here for needed things and last time there --- I had Dh set up my computer there since I was there a whole week. Outstanding pay and not too far from home ( patient lives in town while I live outside of town in the woods ) so that works out ok. Any farther and I'd be a bundle of nerves for a whole lot of reasons.
Rained last night, but won't be toooo cool today. Another rain ( tonight maybe ) and a couple of days of coolish' temps, but then back to our warmer Springtime weather. All the shrubs and bushes are waking up from their long winter's rest and I find it stimulating and exciting. Now I'm ready to make all my resolutions and start the yr. moving forward with inspiration and enthusiasm.
See you all later.
Blessings,
Jackie
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Oh Chevy how sweet that was to see that couple having fun like that
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Hello to everyone! The storms have just passed through Cape Coral and the sun is once again peaking out. I won't to check in before I head out to the lanai to sit around the pool.
Puffin, I am so glad that you are getting everything taken care of and doing as well as can be expected. I think you made the right choice about your cruise. You will just need time for you to grieve and deal with the differing situation. Sending lots of hugs your way, gal! You have been in my thoughts! How nice that you can spend Easter with your friends!
I am not sure how our Easter is going to turn out. My son and his family are coming in on Good Friday and staying through the 29th. The house that we are renting here is very nice and stocked with the basics but I think I'm going to have a challenge trying to fix Easter dinner with the limited pots, pans, and baking utensils. I am going to have to get creative. I thought I would solve the problem by taking us all to the golf club for Easter dinner until I found out the cost! It was going to cost about $200 for the meal, with the ,and I am a bit too tight to swing for that. The kids aren't going to eat that much and they won't be too thrilled with the dinner so I decided I would attempt to cook and then spend that money at the Splish Splash water park here in town later in the week when they can have a good day on the water slides. Now I'm brainstorming menus that fit with my baking dishes! After they leave, we have a day to pack and then we head home. I am ready! I like my home and love springtime in Illinois.
Anne, so sorry about your iPad. We get used to these technology conveniences and then have a hard time getting along without them when they act up!
My first job when I get home is doing the taxes. I hate that job as I always have to pay so I put them off as log as I can! YUCK!!!
I hope everyone is having a pleasant weekend!
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Rita, is it possible for you to get a ready-cooked Easter dinner from the Grocery store? Several of them around here offer that... Just don't go to Honey-Baked Ham for that... THEY charge a lot also! Or just get a big ham, throw it in the oven, and make a pot of mashed potatoes and make a pack of gravy with the Ham juice, and don't forget the "rainbow" bread for Ham sandwiches.
I also saw "packs" of vegetables on the store shelves at Walmart! You just open them heat in the microwave, and throw them in a dish! I've had the real "corn-on-the-cob" and the Green Beans!
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Anne, It might be worth a trip to the Apple store to make sure your ipad doesn't just have a bad battery or something.
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Anne, when I had an iPad with a screen that spontaneously cracked, Apple replaced it for free.
This will be my second Easter alone & abroad in a row--last year I was in Madrid, the day after I attended a Sephardic Seder. Felt really bizarre to be enjoying Easter brunch at my hotel only 12 hrs. after eating glatt Kosher (and some of the Sephardic stuff was very different from the Ashkenazi versions with which I grew up--only the matzo was the same). I will be back home for Passover this time. Not sure if I will do a Seder on whichever night our temple’s not hosting theirs. I will be in London from next Fri. morning through Sun. night. I might seek out a Reform (aka Liberal) synagogue Fri. night for Shabbat. (Too dangerous to try it the next Shabbat in Paris). I might do an open mic if they’re still holding it on Easter Sunday and there isn’t a group dinner for the Bar Assn. I won’t be completely alone--this is a Bar Assn. continuing education trip, with said “education” being 3 days of lectures and a mock trial in Lausanne, Switzerland. Then 3 days in Paris, fully on my own. (Though most attendees are either going home or to other cities, there will be one couple staying at my hotel in Paris--we hung out through Spain together last year).
Any BCO’ers in London who might be free next weekend to meet for tea and perhaps a nosh?
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Update on Mike, 9 days after the bone marrow transplant. Other than getting tired of hospital food, he's tolerating his "exile" pretty well. He's been in 16 days now and it will be another 10 days or two weeks more. His sister's donor stem cells have yet to establish themselves enough to register on blood tests. He's quite fragile right now, with no immune system. Several days before he was admittted he got a splinter in his hand. He thought he had gotten it out but apparently a tiny piece remained and now he has an infection It's small - just red and swollen on his palm near the base of his ring finger, but in his depleted state, it can be serious. They called in an orthopedic surgeon to get the splinter piece out but he decided not to do it because Mike has no platelets and wouldn't be able to stop the bleeding. The medical staff is watching him carefully. An infection can become life threatening at this stage. They managed to get his wedding ring off (it was a very tight fit after nearly 46 years!) Other than that, Mike is doing better than expected.
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To be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to
work and to play and to look up to the stars; to be satisfied with
your possessions, but not contented with yourself until you have
made the best of them; to despise nothing in the world except
falsehood and meanness, and to fear nothing except cowardice; to
be governed by your admirations rather than by your disgusts; to
covet nothing that is your neighbors' except their kindness of heart
and gentleness of manners; to think seldom of your enemies, often
of your friends and every day of Christ; and to spend as much time
as you can with body and spirit, in God's out-of-doors--these
are the little guideposts on the footpath of peace.Henry van Dyke
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Sandra thanks so much for checking in. Sure wish the little splinter was not a potentially major issue, but so far it sounds like it is being held in a little check. A few more 'good' days and maybe some good/much stronger immunities will kick in and this splinter will become another hurdle mastered. Well, you know right now no one stops hoping, praying and sending all the positive healing energies that can get there.
Gloomy day here as there were snow flurries about 70 miles west of us in the city of St. Louis, Mo. I don't thin we will see any here, but it just isn't pretty out. I'm such a sun lover so I would complain. Though way cooler than I like it will warm to about 45 and the temps will come back up starting tomorrow. So, good things are on the way. Just have to buck up and wait for them.
Hoping you all have a good Sunday. ((( Puffin )))
Blessings
Jackie
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Mike looks gray and sick today. His nurse says this is normal for this stage. His platelets (which control bleeding) have dropped to 8,000. They should be around 350,000 to 450,000. The doc ordered a platelet transfusion and also two more units of blood since his levels have fallen again. He was ok on Friday after a transfusion and we were hoping that would "hold" him for awhile but his numbers are headed in the wrong direction. The little infection is drawing some new orthopedic surgeons. So far they all agree it's too dangerous to make even a small cut since they cannot stop the bleeding. More watch and wait.
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Oh Chevy....thanks for the suggestions for Easter Dinner. I am going out to explore the nearby supermarkets tomorrow. I think the ham sounds like a good idea and I'll look for those microwave veggies. I can make a jello salad in a bowl....no jello molds here!
Sandra...sending prayers your way that Mike will be able to fight off this infection and that his platelets get back up there where they need to be for clotting. Please continue to keep us informed as I think about you everyday!
So Jackie, did you end up getting any of those snow flurries?
I'm off to watch "Little Big Shots" on TV. If you haven't seen it, give it a try. The kids on here are amazing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI-l0tK8Ok0
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