I lost my son

1…457910…13

Comments

  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited September 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2006
    Pam ~~~~

    In my thoughts and prayers

    ((((Miles & Pam)))))

    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited September 2006
    image
    peace and light for you and Miles
    image

    xoxo
    Patti
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited September 2006
    image
    hugs image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 279
    edited September 2006
    Dear Pam,

    I'm praying for you sister. Can't imagine what you are going through. A dear friend of mine up here lost her son last December and I know having BC pales in comparison to going through what you and she are going through. May God grant you strengh and peace and may the loving person your son was always be remembered the many lives he touched.

    Blessings,
    Wendy
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited September 2006
    image

    I am always
    walking beside
    you in spirit dear friend

    peace and light
    for you and Miles

    sending you love
    xoxo
    Patti
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited September 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited October 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited October 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited October 2006
    image
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited October 2006
    For Pam and Miles ~

    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • beachcottage
    beachcottage Member Posts: 4,688
    edited October 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TheShopMama
    TheShopMama Member Posts: 577
    edited October 2006

    Thank you, dear sisters, for your thoughts and prayers. It all still seems like a nightmare and feels like the pain is worse now than before. Guess the numbness is wearing off. Miles seems to be doing well at school, though he finds every excuse in the world not to come home, even to the new house. I can't say I blame him, but oh how I miss him! My home is so empty. I am so grateful to God for His presence during my cancer treatments. But I cannot feel His peace and I long for it. I try not to feel sorry for myself, but the truth is, I am sorry for myself, and for all those who knew and loved my Craig. I cannot bear this pain. They have referred me to a "Psycho Oncologist." Am I the only one whose cancer has gone to the Psyche? I love you all and appreciate your prayers. Pam

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • susanmcm
    susanmcm Member Posts: 1,324
    edited October 2006
    Dear Pam, I am seeing a psychologist who only sees cancer patients. it has been very helpful. I was noticing the same thing, not feeling God's presence. I also went to see my pastor at church. I spent more time reading my Bible. I don't remember the exact passage but it is spending time IN his word that heals us. Also, there was something that I read about "keep banging on the door" when you need help. Don't stop asking. God Loves you. I love you. I will pray for your comfort and healing.

    Susan
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited October 2006

    Praying, You have Peace in Your Life Soon (((((( PAM-MILES))))))) debbyfive

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Tawyna-2005Mar17
    Tawyna-2005Mar17 Member Posts: 88
    edited October 2006
    dear pam,
    i am so sorry. god bless you and your family through this.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mcdds
    mcdds Member Posts: 51
    edited October 2006
    Thank you, Susan, for some wonderful advice - Pam, I hope that being in the word eventually will bring you some peace. I pray that the Lord will spread his arms around you and give you the peace that only he can give.

    Carol
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TheShopMama
    TheShopMama Member Posts: 577
    edited November 2006

    Thank you so much dear sisters for your love and support. I have tried to remain in God's word, and it is comforting. The final autopsy report is complete on my Craig. There were no drugs in his system (including his Lexapro which he was supposed to be taking). His fingerprints were the only ones on the gun and there was gunshot residue on his hands. There was no suicide note, but they have definitely ruled his death a suicide. I cannot imagine what could have made my dear child snap. I so dread the holidays coming up without him. Please continue to keep my family in your prayers. I love you all. Pam

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mcdds
    mcdds Member Posts: 51
    edited November 2006
    I am so sorry, Pam, I know that was not the report you were hoping and praying for. I can't even begin to know the pain you are feeling - I just pray for healing and acceptance for you and Miles. I'm not sure we will ever understand why people do the things they do, especially teenagers.

    Love you,
    Carol
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Tawyna-2005Mar17
    Tawyna-2005Mar17 Member Posts: 88
    edited November 2006
    pam,
    i am so sorry. my uncle commited suicide when i was younger. he did not leave a note either. it was sudden my cousin was moving out. he was watching his grandchild who was probably a yr old and he shot his self in the head. it was my dads brother. i will never understand it. it is hard. god bless you
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited November 2006

    ((((( SWEET PAM ))))) Praying, for You and Your Family, If we could ask Why, many of us would, But we can not, But we can have Faith, Knowing Your precious Craig, is with the Lord now, and His Pain is Gone. wish I could do more for You, You, are such a Wonderful Mother. debbyfive

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TheShopMama
    TheShopMama Member Posts: 577
    edited November 2006

    Thank you all for your words of comfort. I cannot, however, help but feel had I been a better mother this might have been prevented. The shrinks tell me no, but I wish there was SOMETHING I could blame. I have been so self-centered over the last two years. I was worried about ME and the cancer. Why would God let me live through cancer to take away my baby? Please forgive me sisters, I am really doing better. I just miss him so much. There is a deep hole inside of me that can never be filled. I really am better, sisters, mostly because of your prayers. I hope you know that I feel them each and every day. And my Miles will finally spend a night in our new home... he will be coming home for Thanksgiving. My family will be coming to our home. Bittersweet. God Bless you all. pam

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited November 2006

    (((( PAM )))) You, are the Sweetist mother in the world!! You, are not to blame, the dark hole in your poor broken heart, will never leave, Because of Your Love for your sweet baby!! Having Miles home again, will help i'm sure, But sweetie, You have to stop kicking your self, and blaming your self!! God has Your answer's pam, give All Your Pain to Him, and Please know My Prayers have never stopped nor will they ever, for You, and Sweet Miles. If You ever need someone to talk to, PM me your phone # and i will be there for You Sister, ((((( GODS SPEED SWEET PAM ))))) xoxo debbyfive

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited November 2006
    image

    Sending you prayers for peace in your heart and mind Pam
    love to you and Miles

    Carrie
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • neesie
    neesie Member Posts: 1,924
    edited November 2006
    My heart truly goes out to you Pam. No one knows your feelings unless they have been through it. I know how you feel as I have been through it. I lost my son at the age of 18 in a car/semi accident and my nephew died 4 months prior at the age of 19 in a car/semi accident.
    People will always say that they don't know you feel, get through the days and etc.................I honestly say that I truly hope no one ever finds out how it feels.
    God be with you my dear. I have a soft heart and even softer shoulders if you need someone to lean on.
    Bless you and your family.
    Denise
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited November 2006

    (((( PAM- MILES )))) Praying for You Both, debbyfive

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Tawyna-2005Mar17
    Tawyna-2005Mar17 Member Posts: 88
    edited November 2006
    pam,
    you and miles are in my prayers daily.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 73gr
    73gr Member Posts: 459
    edited November 2006
    image
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TheShopMama
    TheShopMama Member Posts: 577
    edited November 2006

    It gets closer to the holidays and the days are getting harder. Tomorrow I see my "psycho-oncologist" and will be relieved to see him. Sometimes it is overwhelming. I found out a couple of weeks ago that one of my dearest friends has had a lump for over a year and done nothing about it because she has no insurance. I did encourage and found a way for her to go and she went to the oncologist today. The tumor is 4.5 X 7 2 cm. I know that I am not the only one with problems in the world, but I have certainly been selfish lately. I will try to pull myself above the sorrow to focus on things I can do something about. Please, please continue to pray for us. Miles will be spending the night in our new home for the first time this Saturday night. It will seem more like a home then. Thank you all. God bless you. Pam

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • susanmcm
    susanmcm Member Posts: 1,324
    edited November 2006
    Hi Pam,
    I am praying for you and Miles. Put your faith in the Lord. Tell him how hard this is and how much you need His help.

    God Bless,
    Susan
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories