I lost my son

newvickie

Dear Pam...I am so very sorry for your sorrow. I hope your appointment tomorrow goes well and brings you some comfort. The holidays will be especially hard so it's good that you are going now and having Miles home with you will hopefully lift both of your spirits a bit.
Don't ever think your being selfish! You are overwhelmed with grief, as anyone would be and that's certainly NOT selfishness. I could never imagine losing one of my children...but here you are, blessing us, thanking us, helping your friend.
God Bless YOU and MILES
Sending you a hug and prayers for happier days ahead.
Vickie

csp

Pam thinking of you and Miles wanted to say hello
and I am keeping you both in my prayers ~

csp

Hi Pam I know the holidays must be difficult
Keeping you in my prayers ~

TheShopMama

Thank you so much for your prayers. My heart seems to be breaking all over again today. My family was here for Thanksgiving and it was so hard yet sweet. I miss my Craig so much. I am so happy to have Miles home. He brings joy to my heart for the first time in a long time, but he will be going back to school for a couple more weeks. Lonely days......God please help me

newvickie

I don't know what to say to ease your pain but know this...I will ask God to help you. He hears us...this I am sure of.
Hugs to you...you always have us to lean on.
Vickie

neesie

Dear Pam,
My heart is breaking for you. The first year of a childs death can not be compared to anything. The first Birthday without him, the first Thanksgiving, The first Christmas, the list is endless. In my experience it takes several years (maybe a lifetime) to become easier. You will get through it.........you won't like it, but you will do it. I still wear that invisible mask....the one we pull on in the morning so we look "normal" to the world and sludge through the day. The one we take off when we are in the shelter of our homes. Honey, I know how you feel. I never thought I'd be buying my son a Grave Blanket or Wreath for Christmas........(I'm sure he's thrilled!), Roses and a balloon for his Birthday......(thrilled again, I'm sure!) I have no magic words for you. I do have compassion and pain for what you are going through. On Thanksgiving, I was looking for a ornament (Christmas) that belongs to my other Son....to mail to him in AZ., couldn't find it in the first box so I opened the large tote beneath it expecting more Christmas items. Nope, a whole tote of my deceased son's belongings. His school jacket, the hat he was wearing when it happened........etc. Trust me when I say that you will never "get over it", "move on", nor will you ever have a day that something won't remind you of your son. A simple thought, and all comes rushing back. However.........you will get stronger, the pain will ease a bit, your days will get better, each holiday and special does get better, sometimes a "real" smile or laugh will escape you! My thoughts will continue to be with you through this Holiday season.
Denise

PuppyFive

I come here everyday, wanting to post Somthing, Anything, that would help!!!!! But there are no "WORDS" in my mind that i can write! I just want Soooooooo Much to take Your Pain Away, But I can not, No one can, My Son, is also Lost, and I fear, this is what I will be facing with also soon, I pray and pray, But I feel so afraid, We have got to Put this, in the Hands of Our Lord, Only He can Take away, our Pain, and Fear!!! PAM, I have said it before and will say it again, MY HEART BREAKS FOR YOU!!!!!!! Denise, You Too!!! Praying, We can Go On!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo debbyfive

csp

for Pam and Miles

love and peace ~

beachcottage

Dear ((Pam))

You are always
close to my heart and soul

Walking with you in spirit
always keeping you and Miles
in my special thoughts and prayers

sending you a special hug
sure wish I could hug you in person

xo
Patti

beachcottage

a candle always
burns in my heart
for you and miles

sending you
hugs and lots
of love pam

xo
Patti

TheShopMama

Dear Sisters,
Thank you so much for your thoughts and remembrances. I suppose I have been dancing the self-pity dance for a while now. Do not know any other music at the present time. I pray for all of you for strength and for hope and for time.
Oh for time! God bless you. Pam

csp

Prayering for your heart to be healed Pam ,keeping your dear Miles in my prayers .

Catbluem

We lost a brother 25 yrs ago on his first day of his Senior yr of high school. We lived in the country on a farm, he decided to ride his bike to school cause he being hard headed like his dad. He couldn't be seen riding the school bus being a senior, dad wouldn't let him take the truck so he took off on his ten speed. A drunk driver hit him from behind, breaking every bone in his body. This happened two houses from ours. Mom & Dad were outside in the barnlot & heard the car hit him. They were the first on the seen. Mom was an RN, she knew he was gone when held his head in her lap. That was the longest week to make decisions to take him off life support. It's been 25 yrs. It get easier but you never forget. May God watch over you & Miles. I'll keep you in my prayers

PuppyFive

Bless You Dear Sister, I am very Sorry for Your Loss! Sweet Pam and Miles, I Pray for the both of You, To have the Strength to Go On!!!!! Time , Yes , Time!!!!!!!! Denise, Please know, My Prayers are with You every single Day!!!! I Love You Sisters, and Wish I could Help more, But we know, that God Will, take over on that xoxoxo debbyfive

TheShopMama

Dear Sisters,
Today is the first birthday in many, many years that I haven't gotten to hear the sweet voice of my youngest son saying "happy birthday, mama." It is very strange and I feel so incomplete. Miles is at school and won't be home til tomorrow for a little while and he will probably forget that today is my birthday. He always does, silly boy. He has so much going on. I said I was going to ignore my b'day this year, and I keep trying to but others remind me.
I had my port removed this week. The oncologist said I didn't need it anymore. Boy did it hurt worse coming out than it did going in! Thank you all for being so faithful to encourage me and pray for our family. The holidays take my breathing abilities away. God bless you. Pam

Anonymous

Pam, it seems redundant to say Happy Birthday. I just read about your loss. I am so very sorry. I can tell by all the people that have written on here that you are very loved.

(The port hurt worse coming out??)

My prayers are with you,
Cheri M.

beachcottage

My sweet friend

(((H*UG*S)))

Wish I could have
hugged you in person yesterday

You were in my heart
and spirit yesterday

I left a message for you yesterday
when you have a chance click here
http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthr...0197#Post480451

My best to you and Miles

So sorry for your pain

It took a while
for the port site
to feel normal ~~I am so glad yours is gone

Holding your hand
and sending you a special message
we are here for you always~~





love
xo
Patti

PuppyFive

((( PAM-MILES ))) Praying for You both, with much Love. debbyfive

jz20022001

When mother died I told my dad, "Everyone did their best, but it just wasn't enough to save mother." None of us can guess what leads other people to take their own lives because we can never know.

Mother was a great mom, but she never believed it herself. She struggled with manic depression for years. Depression is a tough disease to beat.

I hated it when people would go out of their way to point the finger at others and come up with reasons for mother's suicide. The only thing I could figure is that we'll never know the reason.

Take care of yourself and never blame yourself.

Catherine

beachcottage

xo
Patti

newvickie

awww Pam...wish I could come to you and give you a big warm hug. I can only say that I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you port is out...I hated mine and the area where mine was was really sore for a couple of weeks.

Sending you hugs and prayers
Vickie

TheShopMama

Dear sweet sisters, How could I make it without you? You have been and continue to be such a constant source of strength and encouragement! We had our first family Christmas without Craig today. It was hard, but ok. My heart just still feels like it is bleeding. God bless you all. Pam

beachcottage

((Pam))

We are always
here for you

Blessings to you and Miles
xo
Patti

csp

You are in my thoughts Pam always in my prayers ~

PuppyFive

Sweet Pam, I Pray for Your life to have New Meaning this Holiday, that God Show You the Way to live Your life, without such sorrow and pain, that You and Miles can start a life, without the Pain You will always know, But can let go!!! with much love, debbyfive

Boop

Pam,


Hugs and God Bless,
Cherie

73gr

PuppyFive

Sweet Pam, I have read this from so many sisters that I Believe, " God Can and God Will" all my love, debbyfive

TheShopMama

On this New Year's Eve, I think this shall be my last post to this thread. My Craig has been gone 6 months. Although my heart will hurt forever, nothing I can say or do can change it. You all (as well as I) have life to live, not mourn. Miles and I have made it this far as a result of your prayers and thoughts and compassion. I know that you will all continue to remember us. But this forum should be for those of us, you, who continue to struggle with living with this disease. I will continue to mourn my son for as long as I live, but from this point, I shall focus my thoughts and hopes and dreams on today and the future for all of us. God bless all of you and thank you so much for all you have done to help me. You have truly been there through the roughest parts. My mom, my son.... you are truly my sisters. See you on another thread! Pam

newvickie

Dear sweet Pam...don't leave the site...I understand leaving this thread if you need too but come join us in the "Circle the Wagon" thread and we will keep you in the center with love and support.
Hugs
Vickie