INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

3rd Littlegoats gave you such great advice. You can do this GIRL You're almost done. In regard to the memory thing, we pretend allot LOL. Also, you have been assaulted mentally and physically since this started. PTSD is a huge problem with all the shit we are subjected too. Check with your cancer center to see if they have a counselor. Counseling is a gift you give to yourself. 

Blessings WAVING

Blondie, you sound better. Sorry all the awful stuff is happening

Enerva thanks for posting the bluebird pic. Kristine loved bluebirds so much, if you didn't catch that the name of her home was Bluebird Farm.

2TA, sorry Mom is having such a bad time. Sorry that you and Dad have to see it. It's very hard to explain, but an alternate explanation for her in the unit she's in, could be that the policy is to let the patients do what they want as long  they don't hurt themselves or others. Alzhiemers takes the patient in the reverse order of mental growth. She's in the toddler phase. Think about trying to get a toddler to do anything they don't want too. Mom had clothes on wrong, but she may have done this herself or insisted on as the staff was dressing her. It's not an unusual behavior in the late stages.Some late stagers, it's very difficult to keep clothes on them at all. Sitting on the floor is a common behavior. Again, as long as a it's not the result of a fall and they are happy let them be. In regard to the head wound. Yes they should have notified you right away. 

The public assumes it is b/c of neglect. She's in an end stage unit. The goal in an end stage unit. is to have them mobile and minimally drugged. Take a closer look at the environment, it's set up like a toddlers room. Beds on the floor, next to the beds. Foods are chosen to reduce choking risk. Silverware is plastic to prevent injury. Doors are locked and monitoring bracelets are used.

In a previous unenlightened time, patients were drugged into oblivion and restrained with wrist, vest, and leg restraints. Sure it was easy on the staff and families. The risks of problems  reduced. BUT it wasn't humane. The problem with the concept is how do we protect from all harm. Accidents happen in milliseconds. Use of protective equipment like a helmet could be considered. Even protective equipment as a skateboarder wears is appropriately of value with some. BUT with the alzhiemers or dementia patients keeping anything on them is difficult.

As far as incontinence, again when you find a patient in a soiled diaper the assumption by the public is that the staff isn't doing their job. The staff may have just changed a diaper a few minutes before a family member found them in a soiled diaper. There are things you can ask 1. what is the policy about how frequently are the diapers checked. A reasonable policy is 1-2 times an hour. This is done more frequently if the patient has diarrhea. 2. there are signs that a patient has not been changed in an overlong period. The sheets that haven't been changed that have old urine on them, will have multiple brown edges. The diaper is very very soaked and heavy.This indicates that there was repeated urinating without changing. Stool may be dry and caked. I have been involved with getting people disciplined or fired b/c these signs were present. 3. Diaper rash can be b/c of improper care, but is not absolutely b/c of improper care. Ask what the usual skin care routine is. There should be a written policy. Each patient should have their own skin protectant creams/ointments at their locked bedside cupboard to prevent cross-contamination.

All hospitals and tertiary facilities(nursing homes) are under government or accrediting inspection rules, if you feel the care is substandard ask to see the inspection reports. Complaints to the accrediting agency can be made. They are required to have the 800 number posted. This is also discussed at admission.

I've said for decades whomever invents the bubble will be a millionaire. With inflation I suppose it's a billionaire.

There is nothing harder then taking care of a patient that has an altered mental status in any setting. Nothing.

2TA and all I started as a nursing assistant in 1969. I wanted to check out nursing from the bottom up so to speak. It was an eye opener. It was an entirely (maybe that's an exaggeration) unenlightened time. So many nurses don't have that experience. While nursing can be accomplished without being an aide, I wouldn't have been the same nurse without it. There's a phrase we used to use about nurses that wouldn't jump in and help clean a patient up for any reason from pee, vomit, to blood. "They don't like to get their shirt dirty". It was an insiders joke/derogatory. As a young new nurse, I emptied urinals and bedpans as I did rounds. I had an aide who happened to be a nursing student  expressed that was__________(forget) b/c none of the other nurses did it. Told her to remember this discussion when she became a nurse. Nothing gets greater cooperation of the nursing assistants when they know they can depend on your help. Versus the nurse that will walk down the hall to find an aide to clean up room 101.

LMG OMG wasn't The "ALL NURSE" concept just the stupidest concept. I'd forgotten about it. What a total misuse of personnel. The ones that came up with it were the "Won't get their shirts dirty" administrators LOL. They had no clue what it meant to try and wear all the hats. NONE. With all the other things in nursing and outside of nursing, you were a boon to patients trying to navigate the system. 

Every few years a new trend comes about, just like in education. Remember Sight Reading and no Phonix. What a friggen disaster.

Off on errands BBL

3rd . I still see my counselor, but not near as frequent. It's 5 years last month. I have him scheduled until Jan. 2015. I do block scheduling b/c he's so hard to get into. Each must determine their own need and length. You likely don't know it, but My Dh was dx with lymphoma 3 months after my BC dx. The next 16 months were hell. Then he passed. Then I had a brain tumor that decided to not behave and grew. Then a crainotomy. Then life stuff. Then the thyroid cancer earlier this year. I keep him as my safety net. LOL... Great guy. 

The above hx is real short, but it is why I believe strongly that a counselor is involved as soon after the dx of any life threatening occurrence. It didn't hit me until 6 months after my dx. I was reading a book called "For the Love of a Dog". Reading the chapter on happiness, I sat straight up in bed and said "OH SHIT" we're both depressed. I was lucky I already had a great referral name and #, that I had obtained for a neighbor.

Not a single health practioner involved in that time explored or suggested counseling as a useful tool. Sad, but true.

It is a gift you give yourself.  Hugs.

Don't tell her I drank her wine when we hung up SHush.........