2012 sisters
Comments
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Scorchy, come on along with me over to the 2013 survivors thread! We are all surviving, every single day. At least, that was what I was told by a very young person at the Cancer Center I go to. She, in her late 20's had a sarcoma, at least I think that is what she called it, about three years ago. During our conversation, I asked her when we become a survivor and she said that she is surviving every single day, so that is how I am going to view it too. Day by day which will turn into weeks, months and years. No janitor duty for you! You need to be up front and center with the rest of us, giving us group hugs. BTW, I love your blog and have read every single word of it.
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Pinky,
Thanks for the hug. I know no one here is abdoning me--I was being facetious (I hope everyone who knows me and my blog should expect the sarcasm).
Thanks for reading The Boob!
I have to clean up this room. Don't you folks know to throw away your own beer bottles and IV lines? Criminy.
Scorch
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Scorchy, one thing is certain if nothing else.... We need to have humor or we wouldn't make it at all!!! And there is nothing better than knowing that when our humor tank is empty that there is someone like you that can carry us through the dry spells😘
I love you man...and that isn't even with a glass of wine in my hand😳 -
Pinky - thanks and I really try and fight to remain positive but it is totally dragging me down. Hell I almost think for me this is worse than chemo ever was as far as side effects at least I knew there was an end in site. I am so limited on things I can do because of risk of lymphdema but not sure which would be worse arm swelling or this? It is so not far. I am so frustrated because I could lose my job because part of my job requirements as a manager is the ability to climb 300ft in the air. Dam it!
I am seeing yet another doctor tomorrow so keep your fingers crossed she will atleast try to help me more than anyone else has.
Oh well could be worse I just think I am a little depressed and like I said might try some happy pills but I hate the thought of yet another drug to take. Boo:) -
mcook - yes i was going to recommend looking around. I had 15 nodes and for 5 weeks couldn't use my arm to wash my hair, shave my pit, pick my son up, lift it above my shoulder in any direction. It was a constant reminder and limitation, it was depressing. Had TWO PT sessions and can do all of that now. Keep looking for that person, I was shocked it worked...I'm a believer now.
I really hope you find relief soon sweets.
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Hi ladies – I’m home. Had a great time in Cabo with DH. So relaxing. We really didn’t do much and it was wonderful. Our holidays are normally backpacking or taking days out so this was a real change for us. Back to just under 2 foot of snow so sun and sand seems a lifetime away.
So have read all your posts – OMG! What horrors some of you have been through and going through – FUCK !!!
Jenjen… I was a TN at my first path report… then after chemo and surgery I was an ER+. But I totally understand – you just get ‘comfortable’ with one dx and then the goal posts are moved again. Hugs.
Juneau: You said it girl (your post of Dec 12)… really did make me tear up. When I was first dx’d the patient navigator said to me “Michele, during all of this you will hear the words “it all depends” a lot. It will drive you nuts, but the reason you will hear that is because each and every cancer is like your fingerprints.. totally individual to you".
Scorchy: I often read your blog and love your sarcasm and humour. To echo what others have said, this thread is wonderful that we don’t ‘judge’ each other when we say something. I know that I would’ve been in a much darker place without having here to vent and share with you all. I agree with Juneau… don’t go anywhere. We do miss you when you’re not around and you definitely do belong with us on the 2013 survivors board.
Healing hugs to halfcan and Karen.
I know I have missed so many of you – but I am thinking of you all. I have read all the posts and now have a headache… guess my eyes aren’t used to being on a computer after this week away. Anyway, I want to jump in and say thanks to you all for being there for me, for all of us. I love you all and know that whatever thread we are on, we are here for each other. xxx
Healing vibes to those who need them these days. Hugs to each and every one of you xxx
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Scorchy; when you're done cleaning up here, can you come to my house? I'm only an hour outside the city. although I think I'd like to plan a trip in soon, maybe meet up with you and ramols... and if Karen can get out of the hospital.... :-!
mcook; hang in there sister. I wish I had more, but I can offer a BIG OLD HUG!!!!!
Halfcan, ugh!!!!
Websister, where are you!? hours your mom. thinking of you! -
Halfcan, Adagio and Karen, what is the latest?
Taxol #1 today after the good (no, great) numbers yesterday of hemoglobin 121 and neutrophils of 2.5. Just hope it was really my blood that was tested! Back to making jokes so I think I really am feeling better.
And so I hope that those of you not feeling so good also have fast turnarounds.
Scorchy I did vote. Can we submit more than once since you have more than one nomination?
The continual roller coaster of BC!
It may be another Ativan night since pre chemo I got 20 mg of dexemethesone. Yikes.
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Thanks for all the well wishes ladies! Today was another pretty full day with ultrasound and then back to ER waiting for results. As suspected, multiple blood clots in a subcutaneous vein ...not life threatening. My leg got an infection for whatever reason and that made the clots form. Done with 3 days of IV antibiotics and now 10 days of oral. Its been a rough go since Sat. night. The only bonus I see is I had a nail fungus under my big toe and thanks to chemo, my nail is lifting! This Taxotere has been fun for round 1.
I sincerely hope you all are well and can enjoy the holidays! I got one week now till chemo and. hoping to enjoy some of it!!!!! :-)
Xox -
Still here! Chain gangs comin to break me out! Still can't break the fevers. Looks like some residual fluid from the seroma might be the culprit. Today I will get another u/s.
So I'm stressing about finishing my shopping and wrapping and my DH had a brilliant idea - he'll bring some of it up with the stuff so I can start wrapping! Might as well be productive! Then I can assess what needs to be done and send him with a list to finish! This makes me happy!
The downer is this throws off my herceptin schedule. Till the infection is gone I can't get it. Oh well.
Halfcan I'm so glad they found them! I worry about those so I've been doing the rounds up and down to make sure I don't get any. I'm sorry about your nails. I lost most of my toes and lets not even talk about my finger nails! I am happy to say my nails are almost back to normal. They are a healthy pink so I don't have to cover them up! And I figure I'm saving lots on pedicures!
Tazzy - welcome home! We missed you and love the new avatar! -
Oh Karen, very sorry you are still running a fever and stuck in there! I hope they break you out of there soon!!! If you lost most of your toe nails....did they hurt? My big toe does. Please get better real soon hon. Lots of virtual hugs!!!
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Karen & Halfcan: big honking healing hugs to you both.
I lost both my big toenails... didn't feel a thing when I lost them. In fact the first one I lost I looked down and thought "hope I didn't lose that somewhere inappropriate".
Hugs to you all xxxxx
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Tazzy you always make me laugh! I thought the same thing when I noticed the first one gone!
Halfcan - how are you doing? -
Juneaubug - still here, thanks for asking
. Two weeks PFC, more side effects this time plus kind of busy. Enjoy reading the thread but sometimes no energy to post. Most of my fingernails and two or more of my toenails are looking like they might come off and having peripheral neuropathy - balls of feet feel like they are burning, fingers and toes feel like they were frostbitten and feeling is just coming back. Did I mention I was retaining fluid? Sorry you asked?;).Mom is doing well postop, she is waiting to get into a rehab facility to help get her mobility back, they think maybe next week. I went and sat with another lady from this forum while she had her second chemo today, I enjoyed being able to do that. I think we confused the nurse and several people in the waiting room though as it was hard to tell which of us was the one who was going to be receiving treatment.
Karen - so sorry to hear you are still in the hospital, I hope the new drain speeds up the healing for you - not fun. Hope you are able to resume the Herceptin soon - my next Herceptin is January 3rd, with a MUGA booked for Jan. 7th.
Tazzy - love your new avatar, glad you had a good vacation, great to have you back
Half-can - hope you can enjoy your week before your next chemo; it hasn't been fun for you - hope the next one treats you better
Scorchy - love that you are keeping things clean around here; you are definitely a survivor!
Sorry I can't address everyone, know that I have been keeping up with the posts and it is the highlight of my days
Take care, everyone.
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marian - the bone pain lasted about 36 hours and I was on Tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen every 4 hours. Then it just disappeared as quickly as it came. For round #3 I am going to take the Neulasta shot - one time only - I didn't really like giving 7 days in a row - so the oncologist reluctantly switched me and my insurance does cover the costs. Hopefully it will work out.
On another note, I have an itchy rash on my forearms, front of legs, back of neck and chest area - it is raised, red bumps and it is driving me crazy with itch. I showed it to the onc and she didn't seem to think much of it - she said probably a drug rash!! Gee thanks. She said to use calamine lotion and avoid scenty soaps and creams which I am doing already!! I am going to phone tomorrow morning to make sure it is OK to have the chemo with this reaction. Since the skin is the biggest organ in our body, I kind of worry about this. Anybody else out there get a rash?
Glad that your taxol went well - hopefully your blood counts will stay up.
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adagio: I got a rash... not as bad as yours sounds, but on the tops of my feet and hands and slightly on the chest. I used a non-scented soap and cream and also used aloe on it which helped soothe. It goes away, least mine did. Hugs.
websister: glad your Mum is doing OK.
Happy Thursday everyone and hugs to all xxx
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Halfcan, McCook, Karen. Hug NoSE. You are loved.
Am in BGC for Taxol. Made a mistake and complained that when we got to the Cancer Clinic at 9 for a 9:oclock apt, no one there but me. We wait, room fills up, but they call other people until about 9:40. Nurse in infusion center (Am not fond of her), spends 10 minutes telling me they aren't perfect. Get over it.
I figure that after 15 apts here, they have never been on time. Have always waited mostly 30 min to 1.5 hours. I think poor plannong.
Oh yes, she brings Taxol which takes an hour and she says I can call husbsnd to be here in an hour. Then she waits 20 minutes to START the Taxol.. Grrrr. You know it won't be less than an hour.. Stupid.
Hugs to all.
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Anyone ever break a tooth and go to the dentist during chemo? I'm sure having a run of shit luck lately! Lol
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Cindi-it sounds like your chemo nurses are very disorganized. I've never waited more than a couple minutes. I hope things improve!!!
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halfcan, that is shit luck - hope the dentist was able to deal with it quickly.
Cindi, at our center, Taxol is given over 3 hours, at least the first infusion. I was there 5 hours by the time they got the port accessed and the dex and benadrly in the IV and then the first 15 min. of Taxol very slowly. It seemed to go quickly thank goodness.
Fever 38.35 last night and felt crummy. Called help line and calls back first suggested I come in for blood work. I did not think that was a good idea as with a fever and feeling crummy did not want to spend hours at cancer agency or ER. Lucky the oncologist was found and she said to stay home, no tylenol, lots of fluids and sleep. 1 mg of Ativan and off and on I slept 12 hours. Fever in middle of night still up there but today only 37.5 and abdominal pain seems to be gone.
Will be crossing my fingers that it was a one off!
Marian -
halfcan... that is shitty. Hope you were able to get to a dentist.
Marian: Sorry you are feeling crap. When I was dx'd I was given a letter to take to ER should I ever need to go (which I didn't). It was so they would fast track me through and not have to sit around with sick people.
Love & hugs to allxxxx
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Marianelizabeth- I havent completely caught up, so you may have already made a decision, but I just wanted to say one thing. If you can put off rads for a bit and do the suregery with the TEs, I would. Only because I was told that you want to have the skin stretched as much as you want it to be BEFORE radiation. Radiation will make the skin less stretchable and you may not be able to do reconstruction effectively after the skin is damaged.
But, if reconstruction is not that important to you...it doesnt much matter what choice you make. I am 35, and pretty conscious about my body. I want the most big, beautiful, boobs I can possibly get. There already scars to contend with, I do not want anything else fucking up my boobs more. Just my 2 cents.
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adagio: I get hives (badly) 9 days after my taxotere/cytoxin/herceptin treatments. The first time was after my 2nd chemo treatment. It was awful and I got NO relief despite multiple trips to ER and many antihistimines, steroids, creams etc. Lasted 5 days. The next infusion I had the hives in a few spots on and off, but then sure enough full blown by day 9 again. This time though I had an allergist on board and my symptoms were controlled. I had chemo yesterday and am pretty much planning on the same this time. Frustration!!
I have been MIA for awhile. Busy like crazy. Was in a funk last week. I feel bad complaining about my issues as I see so many of you are dealing with stuff too. However, with all of these issues with my hives, I have been on so much steriods and am beginning to be puffy a lot of the time. I feel fat. Michelin Man-ish. My ovaries are officially on hiatus due to the chemo. Which means I have no sexual desire and orgasms are difficult when we do. Likely due to both decreased hormone production and so much going through my head that its hard to concentrate. This is bad because we are used to a pretty healthy sex life... Then theres the hot flashes. Ugh.
3 of the things that make my life enjoyable are not right now. I love to have a good figure (look and feel healthy), I love orgasms, and I love food (but my tasters are on hiatus too). That was my funk.But I made myself go out a few times with my dh and friends for crazy fun--even though I didnt feel like it. I had a good time. I refuse to let myself wallow in self pity. When I want to do that I make myself do stuff that I dont feel like doing simply because I need to anyway.It helps keep me normal.
Hopefully you two who have been visiting the hospital can get better and stay away from there!!!
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Miranda, thanks. I see the PS on Jan. 3 and my case is being presented at our cancer agency breast cancer team meeting Jan. 18 (when my MO and RO will both be around. I asked for that and am glad it is accepted. Then if there is some concensus it may be easier to make a decision. Right now every time I think I have it figured out, my mind shifts. I am aware of the skin issues but reality is that if it is more important to concentrate on the cancer rather than recon then I will do that. A concern for the mx, axillary dissection and immediate recon is the possiblity of complications which could cause a further delay thus longer between chemo and rads.
Will you have rads and I take it you had a T/E at same time as bmx?
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Yes, I will have rads. I had my bilateral mastectomy in Sept. I had 13 lymph nodes removed from the cancer side. TEs placed during surgery. I have been and will be getting regular fills to stretch the skin/muscle throughout my chemo time. I will be done with fills and staRt rads probably mid Feb. Then I have to wait till like Aug to have my exchange surgery. Have to wait 4-6 months after rads for that surgery.
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Finally feeling "better" after round 3 of AC. I have spent 6 of the last 10 days swearing I would not be going back for round 4. The SE's are horrendous and gearing up to feel sick for yet another 6 - 8 days is just not easy to do. Of course, I will be returning 2 days after Christmas for my final round of AC. Hopefully this final round will not be as bad. In addition to the AC I was also taking Levaquin for pneumonia. I think the combination just crushed me. I am so thrilled that this will be my final AC, but knowing I will be sick for New Years is upsetting. I know its a must do, just doesnt make it any easier. I try to describe the feeling to those not in the war.....I feel hallow inside. Its like the drugs have wiped out everything inside.
I am told that if you make it thru AC then 4 rounds of Taxol will be a "walk in the park". I am hopeful for an easier ride. On the upside.....halfway thru is an awesome feeling! One more step to the finishline. To all .....Have a wonderful Christmas and New Years. May 2013 bring nothing but good news and peace to us all. -
cthynsh, I too had a lot of problems but after A/C #4. It resolved after a couple of units of blood, lots of IV antibiotics and a hospital stay. I had Taxol #1 on Tuesday and I would say so far it is easier as no nausea/vomiting issues. I hope not to get the S/E there are. I did have fever above 38C fora couple of nights but now almost normal so am hoping for the best.
Posted on my blog today which made me feel better - a kind of positive take on Christmas this year.
Marian -
Marian: What a great blog and what a great experience in the Rub ! Wow, not many people can say they've had that experience.
I wish you a wonderful, love filled Holiday.
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The way I describe how I felt while I was going through chemo was a cross between night of the living dead combined with Rosemary's baby!! My stomach felt like it had an acid alien inside and when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see myself looking back. I continued to just put 1 foot in front of the other until I finially reached the other side. When it was all over and I felt myself again it was "OH HAPPY DAY".
You will feel yourself again and it is a wonderful day when that happens, just remember the prize at the end of this portion of your journey... To look in the mirror and see the beautiful person that comes out the other side !!!!! -
How long does post-treatment swelling usually last?
I'm 3months+ out from surgery, and about six weeks from finishing rads, but my breast and axilla are still puffy and sensitive, and warmer to the touch than the other breast. When I had my one-month appt with my RO, she was really concerned about it and put me on an antibiotic (finished) and anti-fungal (a couple days left). I am very slightly less pink, but otherwise no change. I'm still wearing a soft t-shirt between my skin and my bra to help with the sensitivity, and I have marks on the "bad" side only from my bra when I undress at the end of the day.
Is this normal, or do I have lymphedema already? I have eczema on both hands, and while it's somewhat under control since I stopped eating dairy, I also get flare-ups from stress and normal handwashing, so I have cracks in the skin on my left hand maybe 75% of the time.
I've also had a return of some of my cording in the last week. My arm seems normal, but the area that went numb from surgery sometimes feels like I coated it with Icy Hot, or at other times aches.
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