2012 sisters

vballmom1

I just found this site and have been reading the stories from the 2010 sisters.  I was just diagnosed in April so am just starting this journey.  Would love to connect with some others who are newly diagnosed this year.  In January, my dear friend told us that she found a lump and was later diagnosed with DCIS.  I went with her to every Dr appt, sat with her during her 2 surgeries, radiation and the beginining of her chemo.  THEN I found a lump in my own breast!  I scheduled a mammogram and they found not only that one but 2 more.  One in the left and 2 in the right.  Talk about a shock!  I was fortunate that I already know all the right doctors (who were also shocked to see me as a patient and not as a friend of the patient).  The b/s was concerned right away about having multiple sites in both breasts so she ordered the BRCA.  I chose not to wait for that result and we scheduled a lumpectomy with snb.  I also had to have the wire guides placed (which was very uncomfortably done under stereotactic mammogram). I ended up having 4 nodes biopsed. The nodes came back negative but the margins were not clear on 2 of the sites.  Once we found out the BRCA was negative (YIPPEE!!) I went back to surgery for re-excision.  Just got those results back and now am cancer free.  Now on to the next step in my journey.  I am so scared that I am not making the right decision to do the radiation instead of a mastectomy.  My b/s says mastectomy is not unreasonable since we don't know why my body made multiple tumors in multiple sites and even though my BRCA is negative, it is very unusual.  However, she also says it isn't unreasonable t do the lumpectomies with the radiation.  Has anyone out there had similar circumstances?  I'm so confused!!!

bevg49

Hi there, Vb... nice to meet you but wish it were under different circumstances... I have a similar story but not quite the same. I never felt a mass nor did the doctors. I went for a mammography and they said come back, we need more pics, blah blah blah, more pics turned into a sonogram which turned into a core needle biopsy. Doctor called and said it was 0 stage, dcis "the best you could hope for" ... So, I was sent to a surgeon and made plans for a lumpectomy. In the meantime, she sent me for an MRI which showed another spot which led to a second biopsy which came back as supposedly another 0 stage dcis. Neither of these could be felt. Anyhow, she took lumpecctomy off the table as one was at 12 o'clock and the other at around 8 o'clock, too far apart for the result to be good, so I was scheduled for a mastectomy (thursday June 7)..... Anyhow...... she called me a few days later to tell me the second "dcis" actually is not. It was looked at by a doc at the hospital and he found that it's actually invasive although she says it's small, 2.5 mm. So now, it's a mastectomy and SNB and being scared as hell that it's spread. The craziest thing about all thisis my sister went for a mammo after I got diagnosed and lo and behold, she has a spot on one breast which was biopsied and is DCIS. She is having a lumpectomy 7 days before my surgery. Since my mom died of BC, we went for the BRCCA test. It was negative thank God. I have a 16 year old granddaughter so that was the biggest relief. 

As far as whether you made the right decision, they say survival rate is exactly the same weather lumpectomy or mastectomy. I just don't quite understand how they did a lumpectomy on so many spots and my doc wouldn't do it on 2. I am so glad you're now cancer free and let's hope it stays that way!!

In my case, since one phone call was to let me know I had a cancer, then a second phone call was to tell me I had a second cancer, then a  third call was to tell me one of the tumors was actually invasive, I've come up with a solution.... I just refuse to answer my phone any more lolol.... Just kidding of course  

vickilind61

Okay, here's my two cents ladies;

My sister is a three year b/c survivor.  I went in for my well woman exam in Jan and was called back for a second mammo.  Went in for that one and was shown my DCIS and scheduled a stereotactic biopsy the following week.  Results came in positive for DCIS, so, we scheduled a lumpectomy on the 9th of April.  Decided to get some reconstruction because, hey, why not get some new boobs from all this.  When my BS was done with the surgery, she went to my DH and family to tell them she had discovered two (!) tumors but felt they would be benign.  They were not.  1.1 cm and .8 cm.  I will never forget that Friday night call from my BS; my hubby and I sat on the bed and cried.  So, then we scheduled a mastectomy.  In the meantime, the pathology report came in; IDC on both tumors, ER and PR+ and, oh yeah, HER2+. 

My MO was so frustrated, because the smaller tumor was HER2+ and larger was -.  She had them re-run the tests and also sent out for an OncoType test.  The HER2 was, indeed, positive and my Onco came in at a whopping 51. 

May 9th, one month to the day of my lumpectomy, I had a mx on the right side with TE's.  I have my chemo education class next thursday and start my chemo on the 15th.  My MO wants me to really heal, which is a good thing since I STILL have a drain in!  grrrrrr

No rads for me, but 6 rounds of TCH and then Tamoxifen for 5 years.  My sister is just devastated and, not surprisingly, my best and strongest support.  My BRCA was negative, so that was something.

When I asked about my stage, my MO said she would put me at 1b since the lymph activity is so minute.  Still kind of freaked about that and the thought that she isn't asking for PET or CT, but I like her so much and respect her.  She is, by far, my fave of my team of doc's. 

Okay, I think that's it. 

bevg49

Hi vicki.... sending good vibes your way.... What really stinks is how you believe you have one situation, only to find out it's so much more complicated. That's why I'm just holding my breath until after surgery and the pathology report. She says stage 0 and stage 1 so far but I don't believe it yet. Of course, I'm hoping for the best but you never know. I saw something on FB and it really hit me as being so true. It said "Aging ain't for sissies"...... Is that not the truth???? I wish both of you ladies nothing but the best.

lostinmo

Vballmom- Sorry your joining us.  Mine was IDC from the get go.  Mammo, us, then biopsy. MO and BS wanted chemo first to shrink it and that is where I am at this point.  I have 3 more to go them surgery and RADS.  Then 5 years of pills. 

Vicki-hope the chemo goes well for you with little SE's.

Bevg-love it "Aging ain't for sissies" so true. 

PositivityRocks

Hey Ladies

I found out I had IDC in February 2012, just 2 days after Valentines day ....my husband cried and cried some more and my only thoughts were I'm ready to fight! All this and being 19 wweeks preganant also 

BS scheduled a MX on March 2 while I was 21 weeks pregnant, OBG was there every step of the way. Lump was 3.5cm and in 2/12 nodes. Healed up pretty ok, drains came out in a week or so.

Then onto Chemo. 4 AC every 3 weeks + 12 T weekly, statrted chemo at 31 weeks pregnant on May 2. Went well. No nausea, took all my meds on time. Had lots of insomnia, heartburn, fatigue, swollen feet and joint pain (prob as a joint SE of pregnancy as well).  I am HUGE!! Pregnancy SX are on the loose, I get tired quickly, have insomnia, short breath, but so far baby boy Ethan is doing great, all his scans were normal etc. Thank GOD!

Scheduled for infusion #2 tomorrow. and then to see my obg in a week to confirm on induction date based on how my CBC looks.

PositivityRocks

Forgot to mention that I am triple negative too! And 32 years old....

I say let's kick cancer's butt!

DianaNM

Joining in, hope we can keep this going like the earlier Sisters have.

I was DX'd on 4/17, after my annual mammo. Had a right MX a week ago today, ready to get drains out tomorrow. Actually was ready to get one out Friday, but my hospital took a four day weekend. That was unexpected.

Don't know yet about chemo, but no rads. I know hormone therapy is in my future since my tumor was 99% ER positive.

PositivityRocks, sorry to see you here but love your attitude.  Is this your first baby?

Bevg, that's the ticket! Stop answering that phone! I like it. 

bevg49

PR- God Bless baby Ethan and I mean that with all my heart.  With your attitude, you WILL kick cancer's butt. You are too young to have to deal with all this.

Diana, hope you're feeling better. I am 10 days away from having my MX on the right side also. I am so fearful of the surgery, of the pathology report since they found the second invasive cancer besides the dcis, of the drains, of the pain. I am a sissy to begin with and this is just so over the top. How is everything one week after?. I'm really interested in knowing.

Lostin - Life sure throws curveballs. I hope you're feeling okay with the chemo. It is something almost defijitely in my future. We all have to just keep on moving forward. There is no other alternative but to stay strong. I am trying hard. You girls make it easier. 

Tazzy

Hi vb - great idea to start a thread like this and I'd like to join in. I'm a pretty new poster - here's my story.

Clear mammo in July 2011.  Found lump in right breast Dec 2011. Diagnosed with DCIS/IDC/TN Jan 12/12 (8cm tumour).  Axilliary nodes involved. Had MRI/Bone/CT scans to check for any metasteses... all came back
clear - yippee. Neoadjuvant chemo - first chemo (ACD) Jan 27.  Last one scheduled for June 22.   Meet with RO & surgeon on June 13/14 respectively  to decide next course of action to kick this sucker into touch.    Will be having further CT scan/MRI as small masses seen on previous scans... assured me that they were benign.. but better to be safe than sorry - plus if anything, chemo should've zapped it.  
Kind of in limbo at the moment until I meet with the RO and surgeon.

PositiveyRocks... you are way too young to be going through this, but happy to hear that little Ethan is doing well through all this.  I'm TN too... you may want to check out the other board "CALLING ALL TNS".  You have
a wonderful attitude and will definitely kick cancer's butt - as we all will.

Bevg49...can't believe they told you such crappy news over the phone - like WTF ??  And couldn't agree
more... getting old is not for sissies.

Lostinmo - me and you are very close in dx/treatments.

Diana.... Good luck with the removal of the drains - you'll be able to give some advice to lostinmo and me when our surgery happens....and whats with hospitals taking a 4 day weekend??

Vickilind... after all you went through so pleased you have a wonderful MO you trust - I just love mine and trust her with my life...literally.

Ladies, sorry we all have to be here but I know that we will all give comfort and support to each other when needed.  Even though I'm new to this site... the ladies here have welcomed me with open arms.  It's
a safe haven where we can scream, yell, cry, laugh, hug.  We all understand and no one judges. 

Hugs and positive thoughts to you all.

PositivityRocks

Thanks ladies for all the positive wishes for baby Ethan and I.



Bev - ur surgery will go well. Just BELIEVE it...I know it's easier said than done. But a friend who is a nurosurgeon told me this when I was diagnosed (he arranged my biopsy @ the hospital where he works). He said, you need to have a few things to beat this cancer: 1. Good doctors. 2. Support system. 3. Positive attitude. 4. Unending faith in your God!



I know everyday won't be a great day but when I start to complain or think negative thoughts, I consciously start to find things to be thankful for.



Love, hugs and purple healing energy to all of you.

DianaNM

I'm wondering how the drain removal is going to go. Luckily, DH can take me tomorrow so if it makes me feel yucky I won't have to drive home.

Bevg and Tazzy, not too many right side single MX around here. Seems like most go for a double with recon so they match, and most have BC on the left. I'm not doing recon, and figured it might be nice to have one left. Literally. But now have to think about clothing challenges!

You are in the worst part right now, the anxiety of pre-surgery. Really, the day before felt like throwing up all day. The surgery is not that bad. No sickness from the general, my anesthesiologist said they ALWAYS give anti nausea stuff for female parts surgery. I was pretty out of it the first day, and walking and feeling chipper by day 2. I had a few painkillers at the hospital, mostly because I was afraid of getting to where it hurt too bad. Didn't get any painkillers to take home, because:

The best thing you can do is get a pain ball. I had an On-Q ball, and it should have lasted about five days. Unfortunately, the tube got caught in my recliner my second day home, and it pulled out. I stayed numb for a couple of more days, but it's worn off. I have no pain meds, but it's all more annoying than painful. The worst is my underarm area, and that just feels like a bad bruise.

So my advice, don't pull out the Pain ball until it is flat and empty!

The drains are more of a PITA than a literal pain. I bought a belt from TLC with four hanging pockets that attach with velcro. When you need to mess with one, you just pull it off. It's fairly comfortable, and only cost $20 plus ship. 

I know, couldn't believe my Breast Center at the hospital seems completely closed. There are advantages to a small center, but this is not one of them. 

allurbaddayswillend

Hi all,

I have had clear mammos for years. I'm 47 years old & I had them every other year since 40 as recommended by my ob/gyn. I was overdue and I knew it so I was being good about checking myself. I found a lump in March, 2012. I had a mammo, us, and immediate biopsy on April 4th. We got the bad news of IDC, Grade 3 on April 9th. I say we meaning my husband and I, sitting together. I had a breast MRI on the 10thso that the Drs at the cancer clinic could see it before I met with them on the 11th. This all went very quickly. The MRI confirmed 1 visible tumor, approx. 2cm. I had a lumpectomy on April 24th, only one "hot" node removed, clear margins. 1.5cm by 1.6cm by 1.8cm tumor (oblongish).

I had my port placed on May 18th and had a massive reaction to the iodine used to clean me so my chemo has been postponed until mid to late June. That's all I know so far.

BikerLee

Drains...  Removal is icky for about five seconds.  Then - Viola!  You feel better... and you don't have drains anymore.  Seriously - only icky for five seconds... Then DONE!!!!!  It'd ooooooged me out a bit... but I shook it off... and then we went through my pathology report line by line (good news to be had there).

With the drains, I wore pants (or shorts) that had good pockets... and then a t-shirt or hoodie that went down to my pockets... No biggee... PITA - yes.  PAIN - not really....

When you shower, use a lanyard or ribbon to hang the drains from....  That makes showering easier...

And I was dx-ed in 2011... but finished treatment in 2012... and had surgery in Feb 2012...  Hope y'all don't mind me being here a little bit! 

Lee

nwest125

Ladies I am a 2010 sister but just want to wish all of you the best. I have been there and I know how you are feeling. Also I have 2 size large TLC cammies with drain pouches is anyone interested please PM me and I will get them sent to you. They was really nice for me when I had my BMX. Click on my name and you can see my story.

Nancy

PositivityRocks

Hey DianaMN : my MX was on the right side also, forgot to mention that.



Drain removal was the simplest part of this entire journey....u won't even notice that they are taking it out.



Nwest: thanks for the encouragement. These discussion boards have some of the most supportive and encouraging ladies ever!

teeballmom

Thanks vballmom1 for starting this topic.  Would definitely love to join.  I am so inspired by everyone on this board to stay positive (it's hard, though, but my 6 and 4 year old boys keep me focused). 

Found a lump in Oct 2011, had a mammo (came back benign - see you in a year), had 2 thermographs (both came back as no BC) and then in April 2012, I made an appt with a family doctor who got me in right away to have a diagnostic mammo, us and biopsy which showed a 5 cm IDC tumor (which when they saw the records from Oct 2011 from the other mammography center in the county, said that the same tumor was 2.5 cm in Oct 2011 - Geez!).

Tomorrow I go in for a BMX, SNB and to have my ovaries/tubes removed.  (I'm 46 and my ONC said I would either need to go into menopause surgically or chemically - my ER was 95%).  Definitely will have chemo (ONC is waiting for final path report) and radiation (according to BS) and then not sure what.  All of my doctors want me to take everything one step at a time and concentrate on my surgery and recovery right now and then move onto the next treatment phase.   

Keeping everyone in my thoughts!

PositivityRocks

Good luck and best wishes tomorrow on ur BMX and SNB teeballmom.

bevg49

I am so grateful to have found this site. You guys are just the best truly. When I start feeling like my head is going to explode from the anxiety, I come here, see all the positivity and strength, start to feel a little ashamed for being so wimpy, and then I feel better.  When I really want to get my mind of things, I go to the humor forum and play some of the several word games they have there which do take my mind of things. 

I'll tell you what's scary as hell though. I always felt you could rely on test but some of you ladies went from being told all was well to having full blown tumors such a short time later !!! WTH?? 

Vicki, it is really great to have a sister to share this with. I mean, I wish my sister didn't have cancer so that just came out wrong but since you can't change fate, it's to to have your best friend to support you while you support her. My sister has her lumpectomy this Thursday, me the mastectomy the following Thursday so we are really following each other. I'm the older one and when we were very little, she used to follow me around wherever I went. I so wish she didn't follow me into a cancer diagnosis.  

Tazzy, I am so very glad your scans came back clear.  It's just, 7/11 mammo clear and 6 months later 7 cm ???? Yikes..... our bodies can sure play some crappy tricks on us but I love your attitude of "kicking this sucker in touch" ...and with that attitude, you will. I've always been a gloom and doom, glass half empty kinda person and coming here, I realize I MUST kick that attitude to the curb. It isn't going to help me one bit and will probably hinder.

PR - Love what your neurosurgeon friend said. I live in a major city (NY) so I believe my doctors are top notch. I have a good hubby and wonderful grown kids who are there for me. In fact, my son just took an unpaid leave of absence so I can stay with him (my hubby has health issues of his own - he will stay with me at son's house). My grown granddaugter is coming up from Texas for 2 weeks and y'all know about my sis. The positive attitude is something I'm working on everyday and what I REALLY like that is said is unending faith in YOUR God. We all see that differently and just having faith in a personal higher power, whatever that might be, helps.

Diana, I considered a double but because of various other health issues I have, I felt it would just be too much at one time. I know the PS, although he appears great, will NEVER get these suckers to match but it's a small price to have the stupid cancer out.  What is a pain ball? I never heard of it. Is it like what they give in the hospital where you press a button and get a dose as if by magic lol ?? If I had a 5 day supply of pain med in a ball and my recliner pulled it out, I think I'd cry lol. For the drains I bought 2 camisoles, both with drain pockets and also fake boobs with inserts. The boobs they sent are about 4 sizes bigger than I am and look ridiculous. Hope they look better when it's flat.

Nancy and Lee - So glad to have you here, regardless of what year you were dx'd.... All information and support is welcome.

teeballmom - my prayers are definitely with you. Hope that you come through this tomorrow with a minimum of pain and a maximum of good reports.

You ladies are absolutely the best. Thanks for all the good vibes. What did people do before computers and forums like this? It must have been a lonely thing. I love you all!!!

Bev 

Tazzy

Hey DianaM - what is an On-Q Pain Ball???  Sounds like something I should know about for question to the surgeon.

Allurbadday - sucks about having to have chemo delayed - I think so anyway.  Seems we have to get
ourselves so mentally prepared for all our treatments.  But June 1 is Friday so not really that far away.

BikerLee & Nancy.. thanks so much for the advice - that's why these boards are so great eh?    And me, I think its great you're here... like a veteran of bc who can offer so much to us newbies.  I think its wonderful that ladies who have been here before still check in... very comforting.

Teeballmom.... Good luck for tomorroe and let us know how you get on... we care.  It is sad that they  didn`t see the correct diagnoses from your Oct 2011 mammo....but no point in looking back... we`re not going that way.

Bev... Never feel ashamed for feeling `wimpy`.... One thing I have learnt is that battling bc we are not wimpy.  I think we are entitled to feel whatever emotions come over us... and as for having a glass half full... look at this this
way... half full means you can top it up with vodka (or whatever drink you like).

Wherever you all are and whatever you are doing we are in this together and can be here for each other... and for that I thank you all.

Hugs

DianaNM

Tazzy, don't know how to post links here, but Google "on-q painbuster". Then call your surgeon about it! I've seen it mentioned several times on these boards. It's more of a local anesthetic, keeps the area numb.

Cindyl

In August 2010 I found a rather large lump in my right breast.  Hustled myself into the GP office.  He agreed it needed to be checked out.  He sent me for a mammogram. Then they did an ultrasound and said "scar tissue" we'll see you next year.   Great!  In Feb. of this year I went to the GP for a pre op check up (needed eye surgery) Doctor noted I was overdue for my mammogram. Went in all ignorant and was met by people who seemed alarmed.  Mammogram, Ultrasound, Biopsy, right then and there.  The radiologist came out and told me he would be calling "by noon tomorrow" and that my PCP would have a recommendation for a surgeon, if needed, but "don't panic" "you can beat this"  So the next morning he called with the news I knew he'd have and my PCP was calling and by the next week I was talking to the surgeon about the pros and cons of lumpectomy vs. mastectomy with reconstruction.  Path report came back 3 tumors (IDC) in a bed of DCIS. Had my lumpectomy March 1st, just finished rads, and started tamoxifen.  Wow.  Did anyone see the truck that hit me?

Tazzy

Thanks Diana - I will be sure to ask my surgeon about it.

Cindy... I dont think anyone would've seen that truck hitting you.  Makes you wonder how this can be missed...but thank goodness found and treated and now on your way to being well again.

lostinmo

Stopping back in to say hi to everyone.  Sorry but it will take me a while to get everyone straight, blame it on the chemo.  lol

Had my 5th tx on Friday and it went good except I get Benedryl with it and it knocked me out, time went faster though.

PositivityRocks-your attitude is great, Sending you hugs for you and baby Ethan!  My DS is 14 and I am in denile about that.

Tazzy I see that we are about the same DX and treatments, I just started the Taxol, not near as bad as the A/C was. I'm haven't even thought about the surgery much.  I assume sometime by late July or August. I have no idea what to expect, guess I'll cross that bridge when it is time.

Bevg the chemo is not as bad as I expected, I think in my case it helps that when I do have SE's I can feel my lump and know that it has shrinking. I can put up with more then.  Although I would like to have my taste buds back.

teeballmom good luck with surgery tomorrow.  Let us know how your doing, will have you in my thoughts.

BikerLee will probably have more questions about the surgery when it gets closer to time for me.  Just can't think that far ahead right now.

I know I missed some of you and I'm sorry, will try to catch up next round.  Right now my bed is calling so I have to answer .

Tazzy

I was chatting with my chemo nurse last treatment and asked her how long chemo brain lasts after our treatment... she laughed and said "I dont know...but I blame everything I forget on chemo brain to my husband... because I adminster it"... something we could maybe use to our advantage

lostinmo

Teeballmom-hope everything went good with your surgery.

Tazzy -wonder how long we can you that excuse of chemo brain? I like that one better than "I'm getting old".

Cindy - sorry I didn't see that truck heading your way..he must have been on a mission to hit as many as he could.

allurbaddayswillend -hope everything gets better and you get to start your treatment soon

Everyone have a good day 

RoulaG

Hello ladies - I too was diagnosed this year. I was sleeping went to turn and felt pain in my right breast. Woke up felt my breast and felt a marble, at 3 in the morning. I knew right away it was bad!



Went for a diagnostic mammo two days later, and an us guided biopsy 5 days later. And it came back as bc! I knew when I turned forty last November - I was going to hate it!



Cindy, I am with you! Did anyone get the license plate of that truck. I would like to press charges for trying to kill me!

Tazzy

Morning Ladies.

Well I have read (and I know we cant believe everything we read) that for some people, chemo brain can last up to 5 years after ???  And anyway who would question us about it

Off to the lab and hospital today for my pre-chemo check in.  Chemo Friday.   lostinmo I agree with the SE's... I just think if chemo is doing this to me... imagine how its shrinking the cancer.

Enjoy your day everyone and chat soon.

bevg49

hi ladies ---- well, I'm 8 days pre surgery (UX, right side and SNB).... Is there anyway to stop time or at least slow it down? I need more time to search for that STUPID runaway truck that keeps running into us all. Cindy, so sorry the truck hit you. It's scary to think you can't always believe what your doctors' tell you.

I never heard of chemo brain but soon I'll have an excuse for what's been happening to me anyway. I've been attributing it to age!! I'm thinking chemo brain sounds better. I'll get more sympathy ....

Tazzy, good luck with your labs and the chemo on Friday....

Roula, welcome and hi  .... Wish we could meet under better circumstances but at least we are in this together. Much better than being alone. The power of the computer can be awesome. 

PositivityRocks

Cindy that was such a Mac truck hit! But don't worry ur gonna beat cancer's butt! We all are once we believe, get treated, stay positive and eat right and stay fit!



I know it sounds like I live in a dream world but I assure you I don't....lol



My dad had nasopharyngeal cancer and was dx when I was 16. We (him and I ) travelled to San Fran where his brother lived for this to be dx as drs in my country had him baffled for years taking pills for all sorts of ENT issues and never once did he get relief. I went tru chemo and rads with him and in those days it was rough...limited premeds and major SE. It was terrible but he had a great fighting spirit. Although he died in 2003 in my final semester in university he didn't die of cancer!

Then onto my mom who was DX with BC 3 days after my dad's funeral. What a shock....she too was such a fighter....she beat BC butt then ended up with pancreatic cancer about 3 year later. That one, sadly ravaged her quickly but not withouht a big big fight from her. They both are my guardian angels and as the 1st of 4 sailings I've always been the big sister/mother figure.....but all in all even thru the rough times I believe there is a lesson for us all.... I am sure my journey with BC would have been that much more trying if I didn't have personal experience with cancer in the past. And added to it I am pregnant, newly married (1st anniversay on June 18), and have a 3 year old daughter. But I BELIEVE in fighting cancer's butt and you women I've me the extra added energy when I am down and out. For that I say THANK YOU!!!!

Belinda977

So glad I found this site!   I am 13 days post surgery.   Feeling good and ready to get the treatments started.  Oncologist doesn't think I will need chemo.  Waiting for the Occutype test results.  I have had my RO consult.  I have one complication from the lumpetomy....a rather large hematoma that is taking forever to heal.  I still pretty swollen so I am sure I will need for that to resolve before the RO can do my mapping/tattoo.  

Patience is something I need to learn.   Feeling much better mentally but this last month has gone by SO slow.  I also need to find ways to relax and destress.  Nice to "meet" you all!