In shock

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited November 2012

    Hi everyone

    Busy weekend and I ran out of steam last evening.

    Benny contacted me yesterday a.m. saying that tests results showed a 'serious infection' so she would be staying in hospital longer for antibiotics. I haven't heard from her since but I'm thinking that her phone battery may have run out of charge since her last text. The doctor told her if she had waited any longer to go to the hospital that she would have ended up in ICU.



    Edi - hugs - it is hard to stay positive when all these things keep coming up and interfering with chemo. I hope it all gets straightened around soon for you.



    Liefie - it was great to hear about your weekend, the purse sounds lovely, what a great deal and your 55 year old friend is very inspiring. Hope you are not feeling too pressured this week with all you need to do, pamper yoursellf a little also, OK?



    Welcome to Bevlee and hello to all you other Warrior Sisters.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Liefie-

    U have so. much energy. Dragged myself on the treadmill yesterday. Way too tired today. Oh well still have the rest of the week.

    Edi-

    Infection no!!!! Do glad u get to do lunch with ur son. I wish my little guy would stay 8 forever. Keep us updated on the cat.

    Web sister-

    So glad u had a great weekend. And thank you thank you for updating on Benny.

    Have a great night/ day everyone!!!

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited November 2012

    Dakota, during my three months of chemo I made it to the gym maybe three times for half an hour. I am always amazed by the people on here who walk, run etc. etc. during chemo. I was simply not able to, and had zero energy. Now and then I mustered the courage to take my dog for a walk. So don't be too hard on yourself. Your energy will return afterwards. At the moment any exercise that you manage to do is a huge bonus! Good for you!

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

    Dakota, everytime my sons asleep 'recharging' those batteries it scares the shit out of me..he's an energiser battery thatsforsure....lol.                                                                                                                                                     Cuddles are good......how cute your 8 year old cuddling mum, 80lbs, god bless him, just go gentle on mummy lol    Haven't worn my wig to work yet, Thursdays my day and its going to be 36 degrees here.....thank god it's got ventilation (lace wig)...lol otherwise I'd just need the day off !

    Hope you had a good nights sleep Cyber Mummy,  Whats going on?? .. we didn't want to hear that you may have a 'possible infection' hope the bloods are all good and you can get back on with chemo ? I'm waiting to hear NO infection when you wake up and go to the docs appt ???

    Your son, glad he's coming to visit mum without the 'lovely' wife (lets just say it like that..lol) she sounds as bad as my inlaws ... the inlaws from hell.... my mum tells me to keep the peace, but I don't know how much peace I can keep anymore......I don't want her to see me on my 'down' days so I told her not to come over on Sunday (she doesn't come over often anyway) so no big deal.....her own grandson doesn't even know her. I'm still better than her and I know this because I'm a good person and I have swept lots off things 'under the carpet' (so to speak )that she's done to me but now its my turn to still be the 'better' person in all of this ( my mummy keeps telling me this) lol ..... having BC just makes me STRONGER......(ahh vent over) lol I worked up a sweat just thinking about her...or is it the hot flushes.....lol jokes its definetely the mil !!

    My mum said to say hi to my 'cyber mummy' too.....she is happy I have people on here to talk to about what i'm going through and that understand :) SO AM I Smile

    Lifie Welcome back hun, sounds like your trip was a success, glad to hear you enjoyed your time away :) Hope you got around to baking or are you still slacking off like me.......I'm yet to ice my christmas cake...should get onto that today, or na, maybe tomorrow...I'll get around to it before Christmas Eve I'm sure....lol (the amount of brandy I put in will keep it moist)...

    Thanks for the info re Tax and Sun.....My onc mentioned that to me actually...great... just when its hot here now.....(well today muggy but Thursdays going to be a scorcher!!) its going to be hard but sunscreen it is and lots lots of it !!

    Lucky Benny didn't wait any longer Websister, thank god she got on the meds when she needed to re infection. Hoping she recovers quickly

    Jennie93, hope your chemo was all ok today with minimal SE's, half way there whoo hoo

    Bearcub, Joanne, Carlads, Bevlee and all you other ladies hope you are having a great day today. take care xx

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Traii -

    I know!!! I definately could not get thru this without my kids. Tho they exhaust also keep me going!!! Hope everyone is S/E free today!! Edi- what's the scoop??

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  • carlads
    carlads Member Posts: 241
    edited November 2012

    Hi Warrior Sisters,

    I went to the oncologist yesterday just to meet with him and make sure I liked him because I will be seeing a lot of him.  To my surprise he had more of my pathology report..   I found out I am triple neg.  That wasn't even a thought in my mind!  Now I am second guessing all of my decisions and my surgery is a week away.  Nothing really has changed still a good candidate for TE at time of surgery, but I am now re-thinking reconstruction.

    I hope Benny gets home soon!

    Hugs and prayers to all,

    Carla 


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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Carlads-

    Good to hear from u!! Sorry about the path report. What does change in terms of surgery. I am Er/PR so curious.

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited November 2012

    Hi Gorgeous Warrior Sisters.

    Hope you have all had an amazing day, because I did.

    Went to chemo this morning, bloods fine yay ! I have a water infection but as no temperature etc, it all went ahead, felt a tiny bit woozy in the middle but that passed very quickly.

    Out in time to get to station and meet my beautiful big son, went to our local for a delicious lunch. I only eat small amounts but they cater for me so I don't feel as if I am wasting food. My son ate more than I eat in a week ! Followed by syrup sponge and custard.

    When we got home after droppng him back at station,next to smallest GD was here with her Mum to give me a cuddle.

    Now talking to my fellow warriors. Life don't get much better.

    Websister, Thank you for the hug. Also for rescuing beautiful Benny.We are going to have to get her a " Call hospital the minute you feel Yuk " Plaque for her wall. But sure it won't happen again. Hope your Mum is well and content.x

    Liefie, Trip sounds fabulous, hotel magical. Your friend amazing. :Don't worry about the energy I couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding right now but feel amazingly well anyway. You just bake and put all your energy into the presents. I have to bake a birthday cake for my friend tomorrow, he is 42 and wants Animal from Sesame street's head on the cake lol x

    Traii Cyber baby, You get that sun protection on and a large glamorous sun hat.OR ELSE !! Your little battery powered devil sounds real fun.Your in laws sound almost as wonderful as my "lovely "DIL. How the SE's ? X

    Dakota, hope you ain't overdoing things, little people are defo best med's in the world. How's your scalp x

    Jennie, How you doing ? x

    Carlads, you are one more step on journey and we all walk with you x

    Bearcub, Joanne and Bevlee  (( Hug )) to you too xxx

    Any ladies reading this and not sure wether to join us or not, please do, our beautiful valley has room for you all.

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited November 2012

    I tried to do this last Tuesday but as you know was logged out for TWO DAYS !!

    Hope none of you mind if I practise writing in preparation for starting  THE BOOK.

    All put feet up, get a drink and relax.

    TUESDAY TALE.

    Things have moved on apace in the lush green Warrior Sisters valley. They have built a beautiful permanent home on stilts astride the stream which runs through the centre of the valley.It provides a fantastic vantage point to watch for their enemies, The Chemo and less vile Rads tribe.

    Dakota is in her element winching up the logs she has spent all morning collecting. They are for the stone built fire/cooking  stove area in the middle of the Long House.She will need to rest now and scratch her prickly scalp, we did use it to sand some of the wood, but she was very understanding.

    Benny our beautiful scout was very poorly after her battle with the Chemo Tribe, she contracted an awful infection from the tip of one of their spears.Websister placed her on Diamond her trusty steed, climbed on behind her and held her gently as they travelled to the next settlement the Hospital Tribe.Hope they both return to us soon as we miss them.

    Liefie is baking something that smells delicious for our evening meal, she wont let anyone help as it is an old family recipe. She has been given less strenuous tasks until her energy levels return.

    Near the wooded area below the house two ladies Traii and Bevlee ( who speak a strange language ) are standing on their heads, they say it makes them feel nearer to their homeland ? They have been so busy building a Dunny and a BBQ  we havent a clue what one is but they say it is essential. A BBQ we could do without so it must be the Dunny ?

    Bearcub who is the wise woman of the tribe is giving advice on sore scalps to Edi, Dakota and Traii. She assures us that this too will soon be a distant memory. 

    Jennie has returned from her third encounter with the Chemos, Edi Dakota and Traii their second. They are weary and need to eat and rest on beds made from soft leaves placed so the warmth from the fire helps them.

    Carlands has ventured down the path to recovery and is becoming stronger and more positive every day.

    Joanne sits quietly on a large rock by the stream with her toes in the water she is deep in thought. Penny for them Jo.

    The sun is setting over our valley and we have all had a long tiring day. Hope as it rises  so do our spirits.

    Blessings on all Warriors and the new ones heading down the woodland paths to join us.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Edi-

    I am sooooooooo happy for you !!! I am so gals u had a great day!!!!

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    I love the practice book!!!

    I completely agree that I need to rest my prickly scalp!!! It really does ache... Ouch who knew!!! The wig gets itchy anyone else??? My kids don't want me out in public without one tho. Can't embarrass the middle school girl after all she did tell me last night I was her best friend. I will take every last bit of it as I am sure next year or sooner she will be cursing me... Lol

    Bring on round 3 now that my hair is gone I want to be done !!!

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

    Yehhhhh edi...well done on 2nd chemo :) sooi happy for you.

    Glad lunch was good with your DS :)



    Dakota, had my wig on today went to the shops for few hours....its bloody hot here...not itchy at all...mines the full lace real hair...it has ventilation...lol

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited November 2012

    Edi, I just love your story. Can't wait for the next delivery! You are so creative and original. Thanks for sharing your talent with us! Hope you don't have many SE's. My baking is done; now I can pack it up and send it.

    Traii, I'm glad that your wig is cool. When summer came, I could not stand the wig on my head any more. The moment I had some (very short!) semblance of hair again, I ditched it. Freedom!

    Everybody else, have a good night.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

    Edi, sat down and read your story...I love love love it, like Lifie said , so creative and talented you are indeed :)

    Love the BBQ and Dunny bit......weird accent hey......thought you guys had the weird accent...lol

    My cousin is living in Leeds now......her husband, plays for Leeds and we told her not to come back with a 'funny accent' lols.........hope you are having a good sleep :)

    Lifie, what, you have finished your baking......well done girl......I'm YET to do mine, I might actually do it tonight.

    Nothing beats your own hair, I cant wait for that 'freedom' again ! but whilst I have no other choice, opting for ventilation at this point is the best...lol I went outside before with no wig ( in back yard) under the verandah and the wind felt nice......lol (not that the hair on my head thats left went anywhere......its still stuck on !!) The last time my hair fell out....I went up North then came home with about an inch of hair...my girlfriend and I came back with the same do.....(because I was only 19 by time treatment finished and hair came back-- didn't tell many people at all) we said that we got really drunk one arvo, it was our dare to get our hair cut really boy short.....everyone loved it and I even got a blue pair of contacts.....(i have dark brown eyes) so it worked well with my look.....lol

    Have a good night Lifie...... its 430pm here and my roast is ready so I'm sitting back watching The Bold and the Beautiful...yes I know its sad....but whilst DS is watching Fireman Sam quietly I can watch something else......!!!!

    All you warriors sisters, hope you are having a great day/night/evening/morning...lol and minimal SE's

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited November 2012

    Dakota, Thanks , know what u mean about the prickles ! even tho had it down to the scalp friday it is now about a quarter of an inch long. Wore wig about eight hours yesterday and it was itchy couldnt wait to get it off.Today think will do the hat and fringe. Got a fringe ( bang I think you call them ) to match wig colour. bought fabric covered Alice band glued band of fringe onto this. I put it on then hat /scarf over and hey, looks like I still have hair under hat/scarf. It takes away the bald look.Really comfy.

    Round three sounds good to me. Feel really well this morning weird tongue didnt happen this time :-) They reduced chemo dose to stop the blood thing hope for minimal SE's. x

    Traii, I actually think your accent is really lovely, was big fan of Neighbours / Home and away when our girls were teenagers. You are right about our accents. Scousers could strip  paint with theirs and Leeds oh gosh hope your cousin stays a true Aussie.

    Seems so funny I will be having bowl of porridge soon, you are having a roast ! Yum.

    Now I understand why you went for the real hair wig. Dakota and I have the prickles. The underneath of the synthetic isnt comfy with any hair pulling against it :-(.

    Love your story of accidental hair removal when you were younger lol bet you looked fabulous. At my age couldnt get away with that one.

    I went out on our back deck and it was raining ( for a change ) as it fell on my bare head it was the most glorious feeling ! I looked up at the full moon and thanked the universe that I could feel anything. It could be worse and it will pass.

    We live backing on to a stream, this is usually about a foot deep but with this weather is now about six feet deep :-(. Our estate has been here about 25 years and it has never flooded but bit worried now. It has all stopped at the moment so hope level will go down.x

    Liefie, glad you liked story, writing keeps the grey matter working as sometimes feel as if brain has dissolved.

    Well done on the baking ! Sure the family will be so thrilled when they open the parcels.

    Love that you have some hair ! Wigs etc a novelty to me right now but sure after going through a few months of this I will be throwing it across the room when I come in from shops lol.x

    Have a happy day Warriors. Edi x

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

     I love that idea Edi of the bang thing on a scarf......I think you'd look lovely....I just don't have a fringe so can't do that but I'm loving the idea  :)

    So glad you are feeling good your morning....I got the tonguey furry fuzzy feeling thing...lol 3rd day in..todays 8 days in and still there not tooooooo bad....but blah!

    Hope you've eaten your porridge, my roast was yum!

    Of course you could get away with my 'younger ' days story with the accidental hair removal..... mum tells me the older you get doesn't mean the wiser you get (on her part anyways...lol)

    I'm picturing you out there letting the rain fall on your head.....must be a part of your next chapter :)          I'm yet to do that.....well it is mean't to rain next week so I'm going to do it....

    Hope the rain is easing and that the stream doesn't fill too much ....

    Oh and as for the hair..as nice as it is....the feel and all....I still take it off at home and put this little cap on....it looks like a bandana but its fully closed and even has the little tie up at the back its soooo comfy...and I still have my shoulder length hair.....so looks ok...my son calls me a pirate !!

    Enjoy your day Edi...Home & Away is just finishing here..... final week for this year.....guess I'll start going for walks to the park and lake to feed the ducks if this weather stays nice....38 degrees tomorrow too hot for my liking!!!

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Traii-

    U have to be talking 38 degrees Celsius right? I am thinking 38 F is not hot ???? Haha. It was snowing here yesterday. I got a flat tire. Thank god dineine changes it. Canbu see me out there wig sudeways changing a ture... OMG! i was nervous thatvit got soaked but it was all good. I opted for chocolate instead of the treadmill. It was a stressful night... so tired. Its 6:00 am here gotta get ready for work!!! g

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

    Lol lol lol yes dakota....38 degrees celsius......and omg you made me laugh bad with the wig sideways bit and all...snowing......wow, we have to go to the mountains to see snow here......lucky it was all good tyre changed and you were back on your way , soaked.....I would have opted for chocolate too don't you worry.....lols.

    Well have a good day at work.......its almost midnight here so I'm almost off to bed :)

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited November 2012

    Good morning sisters,

    I am just reading through the 4 pages I missed! I got out of hospital last night. Still very weak but am on 3 antibiotics so hopefully can avoid going back to that horrible awful place. My oncologist informed me yesterday that my initial bloodwork at the hospital showed no infection, then after the IV went in I picked up e coli. So I actually got sicker at the hospital. My white and red bloodcell counts were very low and neutraphils (sp?) were as well. Had to have 3 shots of Neupogen (that stuff is wicked). Oncologist has delayed my chemo by one week. It is day 14 for me and still feel like crapola. Hair is slowly falling out. I cannot go through another chemo like this. I had some really bad thoughts in the hospital. 

    It is soooooo good to pop in here and hear that you all are still here and doing okay. I missed you guys so much.

    Oh! A friend at work sent round an email saying I was in need of funds for a wig and raised $500 towards one! People's kindness never ceases to amaze me.

    I haven't seen Diamond in 14 days and it feels like I don't really have a horse or life any more, it's all just a dream. But I might try to get out there today for an hour or so. Did I tell you our national walking horse newsletter, The Walking Horse News, has done a story on Diamond and me. It has gone to the printers and should be out next week. I will post a link when it's available.

    Okay, back to bed for awhile.....

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  • Jennie93
    Jennie93 Member Posts: 1,018
    edited November 2012

    Yaaayyyy, Benny is home!  Get some sleep and then go see your wonderful giant plush toy, I know it will make you feel better.  And take heart, what happened to you is for sure not typical and I'm sure you will be fine next time.  Did they not give you the Neulasta shot?  Here they seem to do it every time no matter what, but I know some places they prefer to "wait and see" if you need it.  Yeah, I'd say you need it!  Doing ok here, but SEs don't start till 3-4 days after for me usually, so just in a holding pattern.  I did stick my fingers in ice as much as I could stand during the taxotere and hope that will do some good for my poor hands, time will tell.

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited November 2012

    Hi Jennie, no, did not get a Neulasta shot. Is it worse than the Neupogen shot? I had severe pulsating pain in my shoulder blades, spine, hips and lower back from that one. They let me out of the hospital yesterday because they said it's unlikely I will get an infection if I'm on three antibiotics and my 'counts were trending upward'. It's interesting how everyone's experience is so different. Time will tell if my second one will be as bad. If it is, that's it, I ain't doing a third. They did tell me there are a few people who have to stay in hospital for their entire chemo regimen. I can't see myself doing that.

    On the upside, I dropped 8 pounds!

    Pic taken by Websister, who was so kind as to go with me for first chemo, brought me an orange and some club soda and her iPad. I think we posted on BCO from there but I can't remember because of the Ativan I took. Undecided

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  • Bevlee
    Bevlee Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2012

    G'Day!  (that one's for Edi)

    Benny I'm So Glad You're Back!  I have been worried about you and you don't even know me.. XX  Hi! I'm Bev!

    Sittin here reading how you are all doing ... feeling so much empathy for you all .. and totally shitting myself as I have it all ahead of me.  Wow, how our lives have just changed.  I'm so scared to have chemo and so scared not to have chemo.  I'm hoping to get that oncotypeDX test, might make the decision easier.  For $4000 it better be good bloody news!!!  .. and just how accurate is that test anyway?  I'm still struggling with this whole thing .. it's so Huge!!   

    Hey Edi, I used to talk like you!  LOL  I'm a scouser!  Lived in New Ferry until I was 8..  and your story is great by the way  xXX

    Love & Strength To You All xXx Benny, Traii, Edi, Dakota, Lieife, Websister and all else xXx     

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  • Bevlee
    Bevlee Member Posts: 28
    edited November 2012

    and Carlads and bearcub xXx

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited November 2012

     Hi Bev! Try not to freak out about the chemo because some people have very few side effects and you could very well be one of them. What happened to me is atypical, so chances are good yours will be MUCH better. It's all very individual.

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited November 2012

    Benny !!! Yay, so glad you out of hospital. You poor lamb what a dreadful start to chemo regime.

    Don't give up sure next time will be as " normal" as these things can be.

    Hope you get to see Diamond soon.

    We all owe Websister a huge vote of thanks for being there for you. My DH took a pic on his phone at my first chemo to send to kids to reassure them, didn't look as good on it as you did, who would believe you could have picked up infection there.

    I had neulasta shot this morning hope it works.

    Welcome home to our valley. x

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited November 2012

    Edi did you try the Claritin before the Neulasta shot? The idea of our valley kept me going through the days in the hospital. I envisioned myself resting in a hammock built of fragrant leaves, Diamond munching happily beside me. I could smell the mossy dampness of the forest floor and it was calming. The sisters were all there wearing their warrior armour, but resting. It was a safe, strengthening place.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited November 2012

    Benny, so glad to see that smile on the photo, and that you're back home - yay!!! Have to say that photo really reminded me of that chair, and why I was there too. I got a few Neupogen shots after every chemo. Hopefully you will get it from now on so that chemo can be on time so that it can FINISH.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Hi girls!!!



    Benny-

    Soooo glad to hear from you !!! Yay ur home!!!! I have found so many nice people/ friends thru all this muck too it does restore faith !! I hope u can share the article on u and diamond !! You are so positive I am so proud of u!!!

    Jennie -

    I also get my S/E once to steroids wear off but once they do at least I can sleep ! Lol

    Traii-

    So glad I could make u laugh. The visual. OMG my poor son. I was asking him " is my wig on straight? Does it look ok? He said mom there's snow in it ... Lol

    Bevlee-

    I am having chemo because of my onco type. I was node negative. I think it's worth it!!

    Edi-

    Good luck with the neulasta!!

    Fingers crossed for high WBC

    Liefie, carlads, everyone hope ur having a great day!!!

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2012

    Wow, i go to sleep, wake up, go to my phone and look who it is....the gorgeous bennymuffin sittin on a chair smilin at me!!

    Soooooo good to hear you're back home you brave lady. Back on the mend & lets keep it that way hey you worried us all & thank god for websister keeping us updated another truely amazing sister :)



    Edi glad you've had yout shot.....they shouldve given that to you and benny first time round...truely amazing how countries and even states vary in protocols!



    Jennie93 i iced my fingers this time round too....i must say much better than first time not icing.....minimal tingling but wow..my feet are soooo sore i really shouldve iced them...i can hardly walk and severe pain for last 2 days :(



    Bevlee Im not sure if I got oncotype score....i know i didnt pay a thing...better to go public than private you get same treatment here anyway!

    I went private when i was pregnant and the out if pocket expenses was bloody crazy!!



    Dakota...your kids sound so funny just like their momma.....lol at least you have them to tell you if your wigs straight, snow in it or anything else...if i tell my ds almost 3year old he'd proberbly yank it off......lol



    Enjoy your evening sisters....xx

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited November 2012

    Traii-

    Thanks ... I have said it before but they have gotten me this far. From laughing, crying, and having to get them places they are what keep me going. I don't have a choice but to beat this!!!! There is no other option. Warriors.... Lol

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