In shock

liefie

Dear Benny,

During the first few days of every chemo cycle I felt just as miserable too. I so wished I could climb out of my body, and run far away from myself. The first cycle was the worst, genuine. The others were no fun either, but I was much better prepared, and knew how to handle the SE's. Just take it one hour at a time, don't think too far ahead into the future. Just take care of yourself now in this moment. Tomorrow is another day which will take care of itself. I do hope the cloud is beginning to lift for you! Big hugs!

Dakota, my heart goes out to you. So glad you have a councellor to talk to. As far as the hair, yes it sucks, and I really felt out of sorts the whole time while I had to wear scarves, hats and a wig. It is because people can see what is going on, or we think everybody knows, and you can't just blend in. All I can say is that in the beginning of April I lost my hair, and today I have a full head of hair again. I ditched the headgear towards the end of August when my hair was still very short, but I could not tolerate the wig/scarves etc. any longer. At home I went bare-headed as soon as it became warmer. You will get there sooner than you think. Best wishes to you.

carlads

Good Morning Warriors,

I sure hope I can be as strong as all of you!  I am getting more and more anxious as my surgery date approaches.  I thought I would know more before the actual day.  I am reading the post about Chemo and constipation which has always been a problem for me anyway...  In fact my insides are so messed up now from all the stress..  I read these post and I feel like a wimp.  I do hold everything inside because I don't want my family to feel anymore worried than they already are.  I am meeting with my oncologist next week I am going to ask a lot of questions!  My surgeon tells me yes I will need Chemo but not sure what type.  Oh and did any of you have the Nuclear dye injected the day of surgery?  I think here it is done on a regular basis. 

I think when I was in the surgeons office for the biopsy results I should have asked more questions.  I guess I figured IDC grade 2, 1.7 to 2 cm.  looks localized was enough, and he did say he didn't think I needed an MRI.  He is very highly recommended so I feel I am in good hands. 

I really thought I was handling this good, but as time gets close I feel like I am going to explode. 

Thank you all for letting me rant..  Off to work.  Hope everyone is doing well today..

Prayers for us all,

Carla

Dakota212

Carla-

You got this. When is the surgery date again. Sorry. What did u decide for the procedure. I had BMX and it wasn't bad. The pain was controllable. The drains annoying but doable. We are here for u.

liefie

Carla, yes, I had the nuclear dye injected for the surgery. It helps the surgeon to see where the sentinel lymph node(s) is that the breast drains to. The injection was painless. It is a scary thought to be injected like this, but it was okay.

edithesther

Carla, So glad you came to the Warrior Sisters, You are one of us and we are here for you.

I had the dye, not a problem in the slightest. Is it for the nodes ? If it is that one it helps them pin point the nodes more accurately during surgery. My surgeon went over boob in ante room and mini geiger counter told him just where they were. After surgery boob bright blue one side ( the dye ) that was in Sept. It has almost gone now but I treat that as one of my battle scars.

Know what you mean about holding it in, we all do it but if you need to talk, we are here.

My dx similar to yours, no MRI given, Surgeon assured me it would all be gone and then chemo. You may not find out which one for quite a time after surgery. You need to heal first. Not all chemo causes constipation. I was the opposite :-( but only for a little while. You may have no side effects :-) Whatever happens DO NOT suffer in silence contact someone, they can help with all aspects don't just think" I am having chemo so I must suffer" I had one little hiccup ( terrible dizziness ) rang up and it was side effect of the anti sickness pills. They cut them down and I was bouncing around like a biddy on a bit of string. As my Mum used to say.

Operation removed the tumour, no spread, nodes clear. Was home six hours later eating my dinner. Minimal discomfort.Even if you are having different surgery you will be fine. I was scared witless on the day, then thought this will get BC out. I definitely felt incredible relief after, as will you.

Have you been given a date for operation yet ?We will all be there for you in spirit.

Hope work went well.

Dakota, you are one brave warrior. How you doing today ?

Will check in later. Edi x

Dakota212

Liefie-

Yes it does suck. I think just fall out already the anticipation is worse !! I think.



Edi-

Thanks. I will get thru it. Better days ahead. Today is a good day. If I forget good luck tomorrow. Let us know how it goes!!!



Traii-

Yes it's soooooo true. Walking away will make lie soooo much easier!!



Gotta get back to work!!! Later warriors.... Lol

edithesther

Evening Warriors,

Benny, Please please tell us you are a tiny bit better. :-) x

Tr,aii went this afternoon for bloods to cut down time spent in hospital tomorrow mo

 Treated myself to a Latte in the cafe there, got a free mince pie with it ! DH will demolish that after his dinner.

How's the flowing locks ? Mine have flowed all down my face this morning. Lots of tiny hairs some of which go into my eyes ! DH suggested putting band around and problem solved. He does come in handy sometimes lol. Can see scalp quite a bit now.

Good luck tomorrow little one, cyber Mum will be with you in spirit.Got my Chemo bag packed. Lemon drops, lemon squash, tissues, book, mobile phone on silent. Will do my makeup, put on nice outfit, clip on my earrings and" look out world here I come"

Bearcub,Liefie,Websister and anyone I haven't mentioned hope you are all ok ?

Edi x

liefie

Dakota, I cut my hair very short before it started falling out. It was still so messy with hair all over the house that I had it buzzed at my hairdresser. That way I felt that I was in charge, not the cancer. You are right, the anticipation is the worst part.

Carla, we are not nearly as strong and courageous as you think. At the time of my surgery and chemo I was just as scared as you are now, but as one friend put it, the only way out of this is through it. You have to do what it takes to beat the beast. One of these days you will look back, and you will be amazed by your own courage, and how far you have come. Maybe it will be good if you can let your chemo team know that you are prone to constipation. There are ways to prevent this from happening, and you do not want to end up in the ER with this side effect like I almost did. I think it was the sheer thought of how embarrassing it was going to be that finally got things moving for me - lol.

Edith, I am okay, thank you. Funny how a little makeup and dressing well can make us feel empowered. I remember for my second chemo how I pinned a big purple rose to my little black hat - it was purely to give myself a lift, and to show the beast who is the boss. It can touch my body, but my spirit? Noooooo way! Best wishes for tomorrow. To you too, Traiii!

edithesther

Dakota, thanks for good wishes I am sure I will be ok,  not scared like last time. Know what to expect this time.

Liefie, you are so right about the hair buzz. If mine the length it was think it would be much more hastle.Mine about half an inch all over and I love it ! When it comes back after chemo think I will keep it like that, meanwhile the really short length making it less messy.Might try the flower too.Thanks for kind thoughts :-)

Carla, again Liefie spot on about being scared stiff. We just have to fight on. You will be amazing, and on here reassuring new warriors before you know it.

Just had a gorgeous dinner of fried potatoes and big runny egg on piece of bread and butter. Should set me up to fight the beast in the morning lol.

Take care, keep well everybody.

Edi. x

Traii

Hi ladies sunny morning here in melbourne

Getting ready for bloods too edi to save time tomorrow.. hope theyre good been having sniffles last few days

Malting like DHs mums dog even more this morning.. hurry the hell up i say or stop one or the other.. lol

Took my steriods already...ice in freezer...nail hardener tonight...lemon drops check....my auntys taking me tomorrow while mum looks after Mr Cheeky.

Short n sweet going to wake cheeky bum up.....DS that is...lol

websister

Edithesther - thanks for inquiring. I had chemo last Tuesday and my Neulasta shot on Friday. I had some problems with diarrhea and vomiting myself through the night after the Neulasta shot but it was better than the last time and, as everyone has said, once you know what the side effects are going to be for you with each treatment, you learn how to handle them better each time. I was out this morning but definitely feeling the need for a nap by early this afternoon.

I hope all goes well with your chemo today.



Carlads - sending hugs, there are so many unknowns and so many firsts at the beginning of this journey. Take one at a time and know that you are not alone. You will get through this ((()))

Traii

Yeh...I called to check on the bloodsI had this morning and Im all good to go for chemo tomorrow...bring it on !

Traii

so true sister warriors, we have eachother to get us through this obstacle in life, this journey we are on together.

Much love to you all WE CAN DO THIS

Dakota212

Traii-



Those are awesome!!! Took pictures of them on my phone to print!!!/p>

Dakota212

Benny how r u???

Please post!!!

Edi-

Thinking of u!!!



Hope every warrior has a great day!!

Luv u girls !!

edithesther

Dakota, not a happy bunny :-(( bloods no good ,so no chemo, just got home after 4 hrs waiting.Hope you are ok.x

Traii, thoughts with you, hope it isnt too bad today. LOVED all those sayings defo printing them off.x

Benny, know you must be still felling yuk, if you can't post please get a friend to do it for you. We are all worried sick about you. x

Websister, some SE's are so horrid aren't they ? glad yours passed. I am usually full of beans but feel like I could close my eyes and never wake up today  :-(  and that is without the 2nd chemo lol x

Laters fellow warriors, picking up my blonde blue eyed medicine from school soon. Soooo excited. Edi

Dakota212

Edi-

Oh nooooo 😞!! I am sorry !!

Great to have that therapy to cheer u up!!!

bearcub

Edi hang in, I was delayed a week from low WBC. It does suck.



I am day 7 post last chemo, and feel awful, I just want to sit around and do nothing, it seems to take so much energy to do anything. I know this will only last a few more days and I will bounce back, usually day 10. I feel like a slug.



I hope everyone has a happy week!

Traii

Glad u liked the pics girls



Oh Edi...no chemo i was thinking it would be me not having any because the cheeky monkey of mine is going through a no shoes no socks phase and caught a cold and of course i got it mildly too!!

Onc said to me u can feel all fine still and counts can still be down.

Glad u picking up DG rom school so enjoy your arvo with her....kids are great medicene



Websister did your onc say why you wait a few days to have your Neulasta shot after chemo? Just curious as mine says 24 hours after chemo and give or take few hours after but must be the following day!



Benny Benny .... we are worried about u....if only Diamond could type and tell us youre ok.....hoping to hear from u today



Enjoy your day ladies.

Chemo another 4.5hours not nervy today more concerned re the furry tongue coming back to haunt me for a few days..lol

carlads

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for all you response's yesterday.. 

Dakota, I am having bilateral mastectomies with Reconstruction. They did their job, nursed all four of my babies.

Edi, so sorry about your chemo.  So much for me to learn about all of this..

Traii, I also took pictures I am going to share those, they are great! 

Liefie, Websister, thank you for you support you all are so amazing.  Still no Benny? 

I am thinking about you all!

Love you girls,

Carla

Dakota212

Carlads-



I did the same I have TE. The surgery was honestly less pain than the 2 c sections I had. U will do great.



Benny ?????

Where are u our warrior friend.

edithesther

Carla, we all love you too.:-) When things are sxxt someone will sort you out.Love what you said about your boobs. That is a fantastic attitude to have, new ones will be awesome.Only had lumpectomy but if they had said both off, then so be it. My BC pal had double mastectomie and said it was the best decision she could have made and like lovely Dakota said it wasn't that bad.

Dakota, thanks, afeeling really sorry for myself then came on here and now cheered up. !

Bearcub, you know it happens but felt really great, big shock ! Hope you pick up soon.onwards and upwards lol.

Traii, hope your chemo wasn't too bad and the tongue behaves itself. Going to wash head in the shower in the morning and pray the rest of flippin hair goes down the plug hole ! My GD made me a tiny peg dolly with a pink dress on :-) Hope you tiny one is ok and your cold goes away.

BENNY  BENNY, come on and put us out of our misery,we need you.!

Liefie and websister, what you up to ?

Any other warriors out there, reports needed how you all are.

Sweet dreams or goodmorning dependant on where you all are ,lol. Edi X

liefie

Edith, I'm not doing much. Went to my yoga class this morning. The room is heated for the class, and halfway through I could not stand the heat any more. Went out for ten minutes, wiped myself down with a Wetwipe to cool off, and went back in. I like the yoga, but the heat gets to me sometimes. The rest of the day I looked through music that I want to play at my niece's wedding, and messed around on the piano for a while. What I'm actually supposed to do, is to start baking. I took it upon myself to bake a lot of goodies to send to each of my adult children who all live far away now. This will be the first Christmas since they were born that we will not be together, and I want to spoil them a little. There's a mound of ingredients sitting on the kitchen counter, and I have to start this project. Somehow I'm just lacking the energy for that today. Maybe I can do some baking later when DH is home, and I have some company.

I'm sorry that your chemo could not go ahead, and hope your counts will go up fast! This road that we have to travel has its unexpected bumps, but eventually it comes to an end.

Benny, are you okay?

edithesther

Liefie, thanks. Gosh yoga, Will look into that again. Did it some years ago and enjoyed it very much. Then in the middle of one lesson got a dreadful panic attack and never went back. Have a DVD so may just do it at home. Also a tai chi DVD just need to get motivated.

Envy your musical talent, my Nan was a wonderful pianist and tried to teach the Grandchildren I was hopeless ! much to her dissapointment. My DH has played Guitar for about 50 years and is really good.Smallest GD has small size guitar and writes songs already.

As for the baking, you will suddenly get going and there will be beautiful goodies for the family. That is a really lovely idea.They will love that taste of home, even if not together this year.

Wish we knew someone who lives near our Benny who could check up on her.

hope you have a good day today, Edi x

Dakota212

Hi ladies sitting here waiting for infusion # 2

Liefie-

Good luck with cooking I am a horrible cook I try tho 😃

Edi -

Good to hear from you!!

Enjoy ur day

Benny-

Getting so worried!!!

Web sister can u reach out??

websister

Dakota - I will reach out to Benny



Liefie - sending you good energy vibes so you can get that baking done



Edithesther - sorry to hear about the postponement of chemo due to low counts, that happened to me before chemo three and that is when my Neulasta shots were started.



Traii - I didn't ask my onc why three days post chemo but the order was quite specific that way and, so far, my counts have been very good for neutrophils since with pre-chemo bloodwork. Maybe I'll ask her next appointment.



I've been busy with my Mom's move from hospital to long term care facility, she is being moved today after spending the last 4 + months in hospital. She is very anxious about the move. My husband, youngest son and I took some things over last evening and the place is beautiful. Hopefully she will settle in well.

I am having the muscle aches today that seem to happen with Taxotere, especially in the thigh muscles but I'm doing better with the GI upset. Take care, everyone.

websister

Update on Benny (she can update more herself later ) - alive, felt very sick the days following chemo, "I don't think I've ever been that sick in my life". Doesn't have much energy and still finding food hard to stomach.

carlads

Websister, thank you for the update on Benny!  I know we were all getting worried!

Dakota212

Websister-

Thanks so much for the update. Glad u could help

Traii

Websister thanks for reaching out to Benny. Send her our get well wishes we miss her.



Wwll woke up well this morning...few aches like you Websister in my thighs...wasnt sure if that may be caused with the zoladex shot im having.



Hows the hair Edi? I think i might go out in the wind and hope for the best ...lol......oh hang on doesnt look like any wind today its going ti be a hot weekend here....will take my son to my auntys for a swim i think he loves the water..just hoping tomorrow im not going to feel crappy emotionally like the last time after steriods...bloody drugs!!

Enjoy your day check back later off to stand in shower qnd let the hair do its thing!!