Too early for April 2012 mastectomy?

Hi all

I'm back at work and feeling pretty tired, my hole body aches and most days I have come home early. I think it's from the tamoxifen. I'm still quite numb, especially near my armpit, the scar still gets quite sore at times.

I only just got my free Berlie bra which is really comfortable, but it does get sore after wearing it for a while. I'm getting more used to seeing the scar, at first it was hard to look at, but I have to wait for recon so I have to get used to it.

I have been having my best sleeps at night for months, I think it's because after I've worked I'm just stuffed,but then I just feel tired all day which is annoying. I haven't had much energy to do much at all, going out, housework etc. Hope I get some energy back soon.

I hope that everyone else is doing okay.

Oh sleep....where are you? Insomnia sucks.

why is it that the drugs don't work. I've taken 10 mg of ambien, up all night. I've taken 1 mg of xanax still no sleep. then I fall asleep during the day!  just sucks.  

up all night, sleep all day lol thats me

So sorry for you sleepless ladies.  that just stinks!!  And not being able to exercise vigorously does not help!!  I've been OK on the sleep front (though i am having night sweats like crazy).   I am just so uncomfortable and tight.  i wake up in the morning feeling like someone has my chest in an anvil and is squeezing it shut.  I will admit, i feel guilty complaining about anything because there are so many of you ladies on this board bravely facing much more difficult battles than me.  And i feel guilty feeling a little depressed.  But I will admit that I am.  I am so sick of not being able to use my arms effectively.  They are just not improving. Hard time taking care of myself and my house. Hard time driving.  Hard time pushing a grocery cart.  Hard time hugging my kids. wondering if i'll ever be able to swim or do any sports again.  ugh... I have PS appointment tomorrow.  I'm wondering if some of my problems stem from the fact that he filled me up so much during my initial surgery.  I know he did @200 cc and used alloderm.

I'm new to posting too.

I have just had chemo treatment #6 of 8 (last chemo on June 22 - woo hoo) and meet with my radiation oncologist and surgeon on June 13/14 respectively.   I met with my surgeon originally at the beginning of chemo and said he thinks that I would only need a mastectomy in my right breast and may be a candidate for immediate reconstruction.   I have a list of questions for him but wonder if anyone else who has gone through this already has any advice, comfort, support.  Really unsure of what to expect.

Stay strong !

I am such a basket case these days i went to my PS today at 9:30 for my appt and nurse says lisa what are u here for I said my fill at 9:30 she said oh hunny that was yesterday , Dr is in surgery all day .. OMG if my head wasnt attatched id leave that tooo... so mad at myself .. ugh .. now i gotta wait till they call me for a new appt .. and to discuss flexaril and valium .. my nights are worse than my days , I sleep a lot in day depression sucks too.. Luv ya girls 

Tazzy -   I was told the same thing (left side only) but opted for the full mastectomy (BMX) and it's a good thing I did because there was a 1cm IDC in the right that wasn't seen prior to surgery.  The choice is a very personal and individual thing but I for one am greatful I took care of it now.  Best of luck to you!

They called next appointment is june 5 .. blah .. i wanna get this over ... nurse says he called me in flexeril but wont call in valium .. he cant anyway because its a control .. i wasnt thinking like duh i worked in phartmacy 3 years shoulda known ... luv and hugs to u alll

Tazzy- lots of ladies here had immediate recon so I'm sure they will chime in with their experience. I opted for DIEP recon. However, the big drawback is that I need to wait 6 months after rads are complete. So January /February timeframe for me Also it's at least two surgeries and not a lot of doctors are qualified to do it So it's a big deal. Good luck with your decision.

Tazzy - my non cancer side (so we thought before surgery) showed a "nodule" but because the breast was so fibrocystic, they couldn't really say 100% whether it was malignant or benign.  When they tried to biopsy it, my radiologist said she "popped it cuz it was just a cyst".  Well, post surgery and the detailed dissection and biopsy of the breast tissue - pathology came back with cancer in both breasts.  I'm not saying this is the case for you but if you decide to leave it, then you may want to insist on an MRI and ultra sound biopsy.  Also, my breast surgeon (BS) is old school and believes in breast conservation but he told me that ultimately the decision is up to me.  So, even though he recommended a lumpectomy, he was very supportive in my decision to do the BMX.  It is YOUR body, so only you know what is best for you. 

Thanks for all your input ladies.   All the more questions I can go armed with to my appts. in June.  

Phew... decisions, decisions eh? 

Just want to say to you all that I am grateful (but sorry also) that you are there..... funny, but at the beginning of my treatment, although I knew about these sites and looked in often, until now I never felt a need to contribute/post.   As chemo is drawing to a close and the next chapter begins, I am getting a lot of comfort from you all.

Thanks Keonghi.   I am currently part of clinical trials and I had a mammo for that on my left breast..... they they sent me for an ultrasound which showed something... calcifications ??  which the doc said was almost 100% sure it was a cyst so did not want to drain it whilst on chemo.   I believe I will be having more scans prior to surgery so going armed is all the better.

I know its a big decision and only WE can ultimately make that decision, but if these boobs are trying to kill me, give me false ones any day.

Good luck with your latest surgery.

Hey guys!

It's been a while, I'm so sorry I haven't checked in lately.  I've been reading some of the posts here and there when I can.  I've been putting off posting because I felt bad that I was not able to keep up with everyone, but that's a little bit silly because I may never catch completely up with all of the posts and have really been wanting to check in!

I wanted to respond to whoever was concerned about their ROM.  (was it Rtnyc?) Do you have access to physical therapy?  I had a pretty good range of motion right after my BMX/DIEP Flap surgery to begin with, so I didn't see a physical therapist until recently, when I realized I still could not get my left arm completely straight up without pain.  He gave me some very simple exercises to do.  I don't want to take the place of a real PT, of course, because he did examine me first to determine whether my tighteness was caused by a problem with the muscles or if it was ligament cording, so this may not work for everyone..  (Mine was ligament cording, by the way.)

What he told me to do was to hold a broomstick with two hands, a little more than shoulder width apart, RESTING the hand of the arm you want to stretch on top/end of the stick.  Then, use the bottom hand to gently push the resting hand up into the air gently and hold for 10-15 seconds.  This created a passive stretch that was much easier to go further comfortably.  He warned me to make sure that my pain/ discomfort level did not go above about a 4 or 5 on the 1–10 scale.    He said to repeat it 5 to 6 times per day on each arm.  He also said to play around with pushing the arm forward and up, AND out to the side and up. After doing this for only 3 to 4 days I noticed a huge difference!  He told me to continue to do this even when I feel better so things do not tighten up again!  

Another thing I think it's worth mentioning is that he warned me not to avoid touching the numb areas of my skin.  He said it's important to touch those areas along the areas where you still have sensation, and remind yourself (and your brain) how it is supposed to feel.  He said that nerve regeneration takes a long time.  It's like molasses running uphill.  But touching it will remind your brain that there should be sensation there, and it also makes you more comfortable with how your body feels while you are waiting.  I don't know if this is why, but the numbness is not bothering me as much right now. Even with numbness in my left underarm (which is the side where they only took one node, weird), that was bothering me the most, has gotten much more comfortable to deal with.  He suggested buying an electric razor, but so far, now that I can completely stretch my arm up, I just make sure to lather it up really good, use a new enough razor, and I even placed a shower mirror on the wall so that I can watch what I am doing a little better.  I go extra gentle and so far have had no problems.  I am happy to report that I am much more comfortable with my numb underarm than I was before!  Thank goodness!

Sorry if this is TMI, but has anyone noticed that they're numb under arm does not need deodorant? A woman at the hospital mentioned to me how it was nice to only have to use deodorant on one side.  I question her because I didn't think that the node removal would have anything to do with the sweat glands.  However, yesterday I was in a hurry to leave in the morning and completely forgot to use deodorant!  This morning I noticed that only my right underarm--the one with feeling--was stinky!  I'm going to have to Google that one!

As for me, I am now six weeks to the day out from my BMX/DIEP Flap surgery.  I started chemo yesterday (thus leaving the house distracted enough to forget my deodorant! ).  Counting yesterday, I will have four total rounds of TC, each three weeks apart.  My last infusion will be on July 24th. Summer is a good time to be bald, I hear!  

 All went well with my first infusion.  Now I am just waiting to see how I will handle the side effects.  Of course I have meds for that, and more meds for the side effects of those meds, lol.  I go back to Yale today for my Nulasta shot, which will probably give me some bone pain.  The nurses suggested I start taking Claritin (regular Claritin, not Caritin-D) last night (starting the day before my Nulasta shot, then contunue--I have to ask for how long) it is apparently a new thing they are suggesting to help with the bone pain and supposedly it really helps.  Just another little tidbit for ya! 

Hang in there ladies, I'm sorry we are all going through this.  My mind often wanders back to you all and I read what I can.  Sorry to those of you who are not receiving the pathology reports we had all hoped you would get, and for those of you who are having a harder time recuperating from surgery and other challenges. I'm sending warm thoughts to everyone here.  I feel so blessed to have access to others who are going through the same thing I am, at the same time I am.

If anyone is going through a situation similar to mine and you have questions or advice, please feel free to message me.   I am also going to try to be better about checking in with you ladies more consistently going forward!

XO!!
Amy

BTW - havingfaith - I graduated from Paradise High and Chico State.  Yer close to my hometown - small world.