Too early for April 2012 mastectomy?

longislandmom

Second and LAST fill today. I told doc I want to be a b cup. They did an "overfill" today, bringing me to 360cc. Doc says my implants will be @ 300 cc plus or minus. Got prescription for PT which I am very anxious to start. Doc also said I can wear deodorant...yowza!!! Am so tight now it's crazy...but feeling mentally better that PS and I r on the same wavelength. I am going to schedule my next surgery for October. Anyone else thinking re: exchange surgery? So wierd to be thinking about surgery AGAIN!!!! Xxo

longislandmom

Second and LAST fill today. I told doc I want to be a b cup. They did an "overfill" today, bringing me to 360cc. Doc says my implants will be @ 300 cc plus or minus. Got prescription for PT which I am very anxious to start. Doc also said I can wear deodorant...yowza!!! Am so tight now it's crazy...but feeling mentally better that PS and I r on the same wavelength. I am going to schedule my next surgery for October. Anyone else thinking re: exchange surgery? So wierd to be thinking about surgery AGAIN!!!! Xxo

keonghi

Great longislandmom!  Why do you have to wait til October?  I'm not even close to thinking about exchange (ALND coming up then radiation) but I am curious as to how long after the last fill is the exchange.  I only have 60cc in now (kinda nice not to have to wear a bra and no boob sweat LOL). Hopefully, you will have a good summer and deal with the other surgery when it comes.

longislandmom

keonghi -- I am LOVING the no bra experience.  as a former 34DDD gal, this is the first time i've gone braless since puberty!  it is definitely a silver lining to this whole sack of sh.t!  I was feeling very down yesterday and so i went to try on a backless dress...cheered me up!  even though i could barely get my stiff arms into it (which was frustrating), i felt so good once i got it on me.

When is your ALND surgery. i will be keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers.  SOOOO sorry you have to go through it.  but SOOO happy that you had the BMX and they got that nasty crap out of you.   This country owes you and other vets big time..so make sure the VA takes real good care of you!!!  you deserve it!

Re: my exchange surgery.  medically speaking, i could have it earlier...as early as late July early august.  But my family has a long planned vacation in august, and i don't want to be post-op for it.  My daughter starts a new school in September and i want to be around...so October it is.  until then i will have to tolerate my incredibly ugly TE foobs.  btw...i told PS today that i want to be a smallish B (i think they were expecting me to go bigger cause of my natural ones)-- so i think i'm gonna have some megga scars to try to eliminate all of the extra DDD skin.  oh well.  i will wear them proudly as the ultimate FY to BS.  

Dianarose

Longislandmom- I too tried on a strapless dress and it cheered me up. You are right it is the only silver lining to this crap. I bought a shirt that would require a strapless bra and I won't have to wear one. HURRAY !!! I bought it a little bigger because I still have a few fills to go. I always had to wear padded bra's. I won't miss those dam things. I have been going to an LE therapist from the beginning and what a difference. I have 95% full ROM now. I no longer feel like I have something under my arm pit. I hope going to PT helps you. I can't have my exchange until probably April of 2013 so I have made friends with the dam TE's being how they are going to be with me for awhile. I look forward to each fill because they look better each time.

I hope everyone else is recovering and feeling better than we all did at the beginning of this thread. I haven't been able to keep up much as I have been working as much as I can before I start the dreaded chemo next week.

Have a great day everyone.

keonghi

Dianarose - your positive outlook is such an inspiration!  Thank you and I hope you keep posting when you can so we can know how you are doing.  Good luck with the chemo and if times get rough, remember we are all here cheering you on!

longislandmom- my ALND is June 4th.  Another night in the hospital then recovery for about 10 days.  The good thing is at least it is on my non-dominant arm.  Having one good arm should make this recovery a little easier.  Hell, now that I have gone through a "boob amputation" it seems like anything will be easier. LOL! My, how our perspective changes, huh?  Good luck with you PT!

Dianarose

Keonghi- I am behind on the posts so sorry If I missed why you are having the ALND. You didn't have any positive nodes, so why are they doing this? Mine was done on my dominant arm, but I have found that the more I use it the better it is. Hopefully you won't have the need of a dam drain tube. Good luck to you.

As far as chemo goes, someone on one of the threads said, I don't have to be brave, I just have to keep showing up. All things pass and this will too be behind me. Gee, I am going to have a big behind when this is done. LOL  Back in March just think how stressed all of us who were waiting for mastectomies were and now that is behind us.

keonghi

Dianarose - I am having an ALND because a mystery tumor was found in the prophylactic mastectomy on the right side.  Since they were unaware of it until post surgery pathology, they couldn't do a SNB.  PET scans are the only thing to check for tumors in the nodes but they can only detect a tumor once it is large enough to see.  My docs told me that there is a 25% chance that stray cancer cells went to the nodes.  Since I was in the 1-2% chance of women getting cancer in both breasts, I am not willing to play the odds.  I also want to avoid chemo at all cost.  So, my MO said that the lymphectomy is a standard procedure when a tumor shows up unknown before surgery.  Of course, ultimately it was my choice so I figured if I've gone this far (BMX)  I may as well finish the job.  Plus, mystery tumor was found within 1mm of my margins.

keonghi

PS - the 0/2 nodes was on the left.  I'm doing the ALND on the right.

Dianarose

Keonghi- Well, that just sucks. Dam BC. Was the mystery tumor ductal or lobular. I had a ton of mystery lobulars. Sneaky little critters.

keonghi

It was IDC - 1cm, 1mm from chest wall so I will also be doing rads to the chest.  I had a little melt down the other day when talking to my mom.  I told her that I feel like I am chopping up my body little by little.  I look forward to the day when this is all behind me (and yes, I think I will have an EVEN bigger behind by then - LOL).  BC sucks!!

Dianarose

New boobs and a bigger booty. Life is good . I really don't have too many melt downs lately. I have more bouts of just being plain angry and totally pissed off at the whole situation. I think it works better for me. It makes me want to kick it in the butt and move on...

I hope they are all clean nodes and no chemo for you.

havingfaith

Keonghi-It is a small world.  Where I live you have to be careful of who you are talking about because it's probably their cousin, lol.  I found out yesterday that I will be starting PT, so I feel better now.  The stretches Iv'e been doing at home seem to be hurting more as time is going by.

valerie0118

The brachytherapy radiation is going OK.  After I had the little spell of fatigue and nausea on Tuesday, I started drinking a large glass of water and eating a yogurt/fruit/nut snack and haven't had another episode.  I just completed the 7th round.  Three more to go and tomorrow afternoon they pull this catheter out and put me back together.  I might be able to sleep on both sides comfortably.

Yes....all of us were so confused and scared a few months ago and now look where we are!  We have survived everything, become stronger together, and are looking forward to moving forward!  This is a great group of women!  This site is a fabulous resource!  So glad I found you all!

Hope everyone has a great day!  It is going to be around 90 here today and windy.  It is a beautiful day out there.

CityFi

Great attitude, longislandmom.  Love the way you're still living your life no matter what. It can be damn hard with the endless appointments for one thing or another. 

Dianarose, I'm with you on the benefits of anger. This morning I woke up after having had a dream that I got into a catfight with a woman on a line to a public restroom. She was aggressive and unnecessarily escalating a misunderstanding into a major conflict so by the time the dream ended, I was pulling off my earrings, ready to box. I truly believe she represented cancer which is why I went from frightened to furious to fightin' in zero to sixty!  

Ah, the silver linings. I already have the booty so now going for a small C cup. I don't want to be Lara Croft, and I'll still be pear-shaped. I'll just be more proportioned. Say, has anyone ever heard of anyone losing her butt during chemo?  I read that in WHY I HATED PINK. Chemo Booty is not an SE I want to experience!  

markat

I've never heard that Citi. I gained 30lbs during this whole process. Some women gain some lose. I was pretty sedentary, steroids, fed my emotions, and quit smoking. I wish I could have stayed more active during chemo.

Mardibra

I had some booty before, during, and after chemo!

keonghi

How's everyone doing?  Did you have a nice long weekend?  My sister came to visit and we had so much fun that I was able to forget the BC for the most part.  However, I am having some weird swelling on my TEs.  There are two marble size lumps on the left and one on the right.  When I push on them it feels like my heart palpitates (like it's a vein or something).  Anyone else experience this?  I hope all is well and that everyone had some fun.  It's strange how I miss you all if I don't here from anyone in a while. 

Dianarose

Keonghi- I am glad you had fun and was able to forget about BC for a bit. Have you had any fills yet. I had one side that really had issues until I had a fill. If I touched it or moved just right it had the same feeling as if you hit your funny bone except it was a burning pain. It could be they are pressing on some nerves. Sometimes I get some pain on both sides, but I think of it as a good thing because it means I am getting some feeling back. My PS said it could take up to a year to get feeling back. I didn't have any lumps though. You probably should get that checked out. I hope all your nodes come back clear.

I start chemo on Wednesday and stressed myself right into a major headache today. I am terrified about having a reaction to it. I don't do well with meds, well except my Xanax. I take it every night just to get some sleep.

keonghi

Dianarose - yeah, I feel the nerve pain coming back at the "bra line".  I had one fill at the BMX of 60cc.  I can't tell if it is the TE poking out or if it is a vein.  I does ache around that area but doesn't hurt when I push on the lumps themselves.  Thx for the well wishes - I'm crossing my fingers they come back clear!  I'll keep you in my prayers as your journey goes to the next level.  Keep in touch with us!

longislandmom

keonghi -  i think you should get it checked out.  why worry, right?!  i have a few lumps, but i asked PS about them and they are, in fact, parts my ribs-- which had been buried under my breasts! it's very weird to feel them. 

I, too, had a non BC weekend (except for my tight ever-present TE).... i had "a first-time-in-three months since diagnosis date" with my husband, i took a few walks on the beach, went out on a boat, and just came back from eating lobster at a friend's house.

Dianarose-- will be thinking about you on wednesday.  sending you big hugs!

rtnyc

longislandmom:  A date, the beach, and lobster. I am so jealeous.  I actually don't feel well enough to go out all day or all night; just don't have the stamina and I am so achy I jsut don't want to move. Maybe it's the difference between the TE/implant vs. the diep flat procedures but wow would I love to be you right now!!!  So happy for you. Robbin

longislandmom

rtnyc-- i was thinking about you and was going to PM you this weekend to see how you are doing.  so sorry you are still so sore and tired.  are you still needing to take pain meds?  i think the recovery from DIEP is much harder than TE...but you on the brighter side..you are DONE (right??) and i have two more surgeries to look forward to!  are you happy with how you look-- or too bruised still to be able to figure it out?  are you back at work yet? thinking of you!!!

physically i am feeling pretty good, other than extraordinary tightness.  i start PT on Wednesday and will look forward to improving my ROM (my 8 year old son had to help me take of a shirt i was stuck in!!-- pathetic!! but nobody else was home and i was stuck!)

rtnyc

longislandmom: I am not on pain med's but some to sleep but none are working so I really have not sleep well in a month. I have on each side open wounds on the incisions, left side bigger thanright but it's like having raw skin I have to put cream on it daily and I'm still in bandages until new skin regenerates. Doc says there is healing going on, it's been slow but it's there, if you ask me I don't see it. Anyway just super uncomfortable all day and night.Technicially I have the last phase which is nipple recon and tattoo but I think I'll need one more before that or maybe same time. Left side which is where the wound is larger seems droppy to me.I think it needs a lift but we have to see how it heals. I'm still very swollen all around. Even rib area down to abdoman is swollen and still very tight. Everytime I go in the shower I have to look down to see if I forgot to take off clothes casue it's so tight it feel like somethings holding me in. Am I happy with looks. At this point not at all. I am sure I will be when the scars heal and fade and the tattooing is done but for now, it looks like a big circle where the areole/nip was and line down from there, kind of like a lollipop add to that open wounds. At this point I won't show my daughters until the wounds heal. I just think its to ugly. So Nope not happy yet but we all have to do, I contently remind myself that I am cancer free and that's ok.

I am not back at work and can't even think of work. I'm sleeping some during the day and have no energy, I can't even carry a bag on my shoulder, don't know how I would go back yet. Doc spoke to insurance companies this past week to extend so hopefully that's all done and extented more weeks. I am going to speak to the PS this week about ROM phy. therpy. it's a good idea, my left arm is good some days but not other. Anyway, I am so glad that your doing well and will enjoy the summer and your family trip! Ok, I'm going to try to go sleep now, took a xanax about 40 minutes ago so hopefully it will kick in soon! (A girls has to dream, literally)!!!!!

lisamarie68

Hi Girls , sorry I have not posted I needed a break from BC as well. I still live day to day with the uncomfortable BS of tightness and it stinks .. like many of u I hate bedtime . i can never get comfortable and sleep is nill. I did however get a RX for flexaril , but it doesn't seem to be doing much , I take Tylenol on occasion. and because I missed my lst fill I dont go again until June 5th .. it seems never ending . I pray for all of you that have upcoming chemo and or radiation. I am back to work June 2 . so happy maybe a lift is coming soon on my financial burdens ! my left side is much bigger than the right and when I seem to do any kind of work , may it be gardening or house cleaning it seems to get bigger .. anyway my scars are almost scabless yuck .. and I am trying to be strong .. Luv and hugs to all of u 

rtnyc

its a good day for me. I slept last night yay!!! However, I druged myself, it was a last resort. It took one and half xanax, that 1.5mg and boy when I got up in the middle of the night to pee I felt drug couldn't even walk straight. I still had that feeling of being in a straight jacket, took off all my bandages, bra everything and slept the rest of the night in my robe Had no choice but felt somewhat better. Have a great day everyone!!!

longislandmom

RTNYC -  so glad you had a bit of sleep and a better day today!  one day at a time!  Lisamarie- you sound like you are doing a bit better, too.  xo

markat

Rtnyc glad you got some sleep. I have horrible insomnia.



I finally got my drains out and feel like a new woman! Filled to 660cc now.

2FriedEggs

Markat- I'm glad you got your drains out-for awhile there you and I were going for a new record. It does make such a difference doesn't it? Don't get me wrong, we all still have "issues" but there is really something nasty drains burrowed into our bodies , carrying around little bulbs of fluid from them plus the inconvenience of having to find clothes to hide them. Yuk

Dianarose

I can't believe how long some of you had to have your drain tubes. I had mine for only 6 days and I was going crazy. So glad everyone seems to be past that hurdle.

Heading for my first chemo in about an hour. Totally scared. I am taking a Xanax just before I head out.

Have a great day everyone.