I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

Frozen pizza for dinner. I bought a new one (for me) with lots of veggies, sausage mozzeralla,feta and red sauce on a thin crust. DH hate frozen pizza but he's out of town tonight.

HappyLibby

Waiting is horrendous - that's when our minds do the strangest things.  Joining in hoping for B9, an all my friends are hysterical about your version of "Mary had a little lamb" - hope you do something wonderful for yourself while waiting: ice sundae, with chocolate jimmies (for all us New Englanders!) and lotsa whipped cream.

revkat.....I thought I was the only one with a hubby that can take any conversation and turn it into something to do with sex! It doesn't matter what we are taking about. Somehow he will get a statement in there. I am always amazed how he can do that  You would think I would be use to it after 34 years of marriage..

WHOO HOO, Sue!  Congrats on the reassuring news!

L

WOO HOO Sue

Sue .. fabulous news ... yay!!!

....and that you know how to use it, SusieQ!  I was reading in my paper's travel section today that the ski season has started down under.  I'm going to think of that when the really hot weather starts here!!!

BTW, we call Aust and NZ "down under".  What do you call North America -- up above? 

Sharing an e-mail I got:

This is a take-off on that novelty song a few years back about the idiots among us who could probably use a sign warning the rest of us they're about to do something stupid. Again. On that note, I present:
 
More idiots among us!!
 
Idiot Number One

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she had caught her 3 year-old daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants wouldn't harm the little girl and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down, but at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she'd given her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she'd better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
 
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
 

Idiot Numbers Two and Three

Earlier this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it out for a float on the river, however, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activates when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
 
Here's your signs, guys. Don't get them wet; the paint might run.
 

Idiot Number Four

A man wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America walked into the branch and wrote this note: 'Put all yur muny in this bag.' While standing in line waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
 
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
 

Idiot Number Five

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the money in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said she couldn't, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber insisted he was, but the clerk still refused to believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Six (and one Darwin Award nominee)

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record store nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Yeah, you're right - this guy doesn't even deserve a sign.

Idiot Number Seven

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block brick through the liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted up the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. It bounced right back, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glas. And the whole thing was caught by the videotape surveillance camera.
 
We'll give him his sign when he wakes up.
 
 
Idiot Number Eight

I live in a semi-rural area of Wisconsin. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the 'Deer Crossing' sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

We got your sign right here, buddy!

SO STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... and they drive... and they (almost always) reproduce!!! (the ones that don't get Darwin Awards, instead.)

Welcome any and all, new and old.  The jokes have been so good.  Took me most of the night to catch up.

My new grandson made his appearance on Father's day. Eight pounds even. He is Joseph Alexander and has a cleft in his chin and lots of dark hair.  They're in VA so I'm heading up there Sunday for a few days. I'll try and check in with you guys during the week but if I don't, please don't get deleted.

I realize that when the political discussions would get heated up, some seemed to get really upset but that has been rather calm for pages and pages. What's everyone's beef with this thread? It seems that food has now become an insult of some type. Who should care if I want to wear tin foil on my head? and repeat the same words over and over? I'm sure some will not appreciate any type of humor we have (sick or whatever normal is). 

Congratulations to those with good news and for those not as fortunate, hugs and more hugs. We've all ridden this emotional rollercoaster so long that we don't know how to step off for a while and rest. Sometimes we just need a rest! 

If you really want to see someone to go into a panic, give them a $5 dollar bill and a quarter, when your bill is $4.12.  If the cash register doesn't do the math, they'll have to get off their shoes and count on their fingers and toes to give you the correct change and will probably get it wrong. 

That's funny Carolyn.....sometimes I think back on things I've personally done and realize I needed one of those signs a time or two. I'm sure that cashier will forever know that dollar coins work just like paper dollars. At least we hope so anyway??

More jokes....

At a high school in Montana, a group of students played a prank on the school. They let three goats loose inside the school. Before they let them go, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats. 1, 2 and 4. Local school administrators spent most of the day looking for #3.

 
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
 
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
 
The lawyer was stunned. Not quite knowing what to do to recover from that, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
 
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention, he's cheated on his wife with three different women, and one of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
 
The defense attorney nearly died.
 
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll throw you both in jail!"
 

THANKYOU!!! I just hope the secretary chick is right, but I certainly won't worry about it - I did have it 10 days ago, I'm sure he really has looked at it. I always worried my onc didn't order a brain scan, now I've had one!!

Sue