My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters
Comments
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I wish, pip. I would be happy to, because it isn't against standing BCO rules to have two handles. Unfortunately, the last time someone identified herself using an alias (she was merely conducting an experiment on creating an alias in a perfectly innocent setting) that alias was deleted by "the community" (probably one person). If and when nearcatatonia feels safe, she will identify herself. Now is not the time. For now, catatonia remains a clear and present danger.
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This is getting crazy. Is Charlie Sheen involved? Or one of his warlocks?
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Ummm, why the olive branch NOW, shokk? And an intense plea for one, at that? Something's got you really spooked, unless I'm reading your tone all wrong.
I don't keep up with all the names, dates, and who said what to whom. Sometimes I'd like to know, most of the time I'm glad I don't.
If there's truly ONE person responsible for all this nasty chaos, just OUT the person. Realizing that I'm not "in the know" that may be too complicated. But really?
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I hope that when (if) this is all sorted out we are told what was discovered and what was done about it. Otherwise there will always be suspicions among bc sisters.
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I don't know why all this carp must be born by BCO.
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Hi everyone...
I just wanted to give you all an update and tell you that I am doing fine. I had my double mastectomy last week and I am hopeful I will get my drains out tomorrow.
I never know where to post on this site, but this one keeps popping up in the active topics. I know a lot of you were wondering how I was doing, so I posted it here- hope that was okay.
Anyway, this thread is the exact reason why I am now active on another site. I just think that this kind of thing is ridiculous and I really think you all should do it privately (email, etc)- but definitely not on a breast cancer support site. It makes me sad.
So- I really just wanted to let you all know that I am doing okay. I seriously doubt I will be logging onto this site again, so there is no need to respond to me. I just really hope everyone can grow up a little and not air this out where people who are fighting for their life can stumble onto it.
Thank you all for the kind words in the past and the support.
Take care,
Anna

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Hi Anna,
I am so glad you are doing well. Sorry about the dirty laundry airing - things got way out of control last night. I did post about you on Saturday or Sunday asking if anyone had heard from you or your mum. Thank you for letting us know you are doing okay and I do get why you don't want to be involved in this mess. Suffice to say, there are efforts to clean it up and hopefully, we will all live in peace in the future.
Be good to yourself.
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Shokk: Something is very wrong about this, imo. Last night Blue was basically verbally attacked by this poster who made it clear she was very angry at "her". Now today "you" say Blue is not the problem (if I understand you correctly). However, you remain very mysterious about who is and you come on here wanting to smoke the so called "Peace Pipe" with us. After your insinuations earlier, I think it is only fair of you to PM even just "one" of us and let us know why you are "really" concerned this morning. If you can't or won't do that, I suggest you ask your group to please not bring their accusations to our BCO group and deal with the Mods if they have a problem with any one on here. I am personally glad you are not upset with Blue any longer. Whatever concerns Blue has about the goings on, should be left up to Blue and what she intends on doing about it.
Your silence on the real reason for your concern makes me wonder about what is really going on here. Have a good day.
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AnneW: My thoughts as well. It would have been nice if the olive branch was extended without strings attached. Then maybe it wouldn't look like just another red herring. Someone is trying awful hard to divert attention from where it should be and to me, it appears desparate.
Athena: I'm so sorry, but not surprised, that the battlefields had to come to your thread. I don't know if it's possible but I wonder if Melissa could take your original post and the appropriate ones that pertain to it and somehow separate it out and put it in a place of it's own, without all the deleted, fighting and desparate posts that don't belong here? I've been in your place before, and it's no fun and very disheartening.
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I'm getting hopeless here. No matter what we do, several posters are singled out for attack. I don't know what the solution is.
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Is it possible to get Athena and Blue reinstated? This whole experience is disheartening, just like Blah said.
Bren
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Enjoyful: I think, unless Shokk, owns up to what seems to be giving her the "heebee jeebees" or "who" then we should just disregard these intrusions and try to continue on with our regular discussions as if all is well in tinsel town. Many of us tried to get answers from her but she stays "closed mouth". Soooooo let's get on our ponies and ride off into better, happier pastures!
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Blue s feeling like she's been hit with a mac truck. She can't believe people like that exist in this world. Maybe naivete on her part. Not sure she wants back in, in an atmosphere such as this. You (and you know who you are) should be proud.
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Chevy .. I wish Blue would come back .. I know yesterday was a bad day, but I really miss her and Jim.
Bren
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Come back, Blue!
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Chevy, please give all my love to Blue -- the last thing she needs is to feel like she's been hit by a Mack truck, and I too am very upset about people who would drag her through this at such a time (and drag their own friend, also recovering, into such a mess based on their own ignorance of computer terminology, combined with their hysteria and mean-ness).
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How about a new start?! A new thread, and new beginning. That way Newbies won't see the negative history, only the positive, supportive side to the discussion. I won't do anything till later tonight, but I'd like everyone's buy-in.
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Well, this site is alot like a typical support group. In a gathering of about 15 people there will be one who has to be the star of the show, with her own agenda, who always tries to hog the spotlight and take over the conversation. If she doesn't get her way, she devises other methods of disrupting the group.
Then there's "bossyboots", the one who considers herself the "sane" one and tries to manage and direct -- except it's not her job to do so.
There will be a few who try -- maybe as a group effort -- to bring everybody back on track. They try to discuss the issues that brought everyone together in the first place and actually help each other.
There will be one or two who won't say anything aloud because they can't decide which "side" they want to be on, but who gossip about everyone else behind their backs.
And then there will be a few more who don't say anything at all, out of fear of being ridiculed and harrassed by the "star of the show" or the wannabe director.
Guess I'm saying that some real life stuff is being played out here (and after all, this is real life too). Without a means of making sure the rules are obeyed and that those who break the rules are directed somewhere else, permanently, chaos will ensue.
Athena started this thread for a good reason -- take another look at her OP. Now she's been cut off. Blue started her thread for another good reason -- now she too has been cut off, in fact, banned totally.
Chaos prevails. A total shame.
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How about a new start?! A new thread, and new beginning. That way Newbies won't see the negative history, only the positive, supportive side to the discussion. I won't do anything till later tonight, but I'd like everyone's buy-in. By the way, Blue has been reinstated.
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Welcome back, Blue!
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Yea! And, Athena?
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Yay Blue! Yay Mods! What about ATHENA?
Sandy
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Thanks Melissa .. yippee for Blue!
Is Athena back too?
Bren
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Melissa, I would simply have the post deletion capability by members disabled.
You won't be able to moderate behavior, honesty or sockpuppets... there are too many ways to get around multiple accounts. I wouldn't feel the need to explain any moderation actions.. BCO should not feel compelled to provide a 'free for all' playground that is outside the bound of this forum's intent.
BCO is a wonderfully supportive place that provides solace and sometimes lifesaving intervention for many. Members are in distress, they are frightened and come seeking information, support and fellowship.
They die here.
I know that one can't moderate respect but it should be a hallmark of this forum. .. copied to pm if this is deleted.
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Friends, I got this msg from Athena and she asked me to post it here.
Athena sends to say that she is un-banned but cannot post because a restriction was imposed on her even though none of her posts have been erased since the last restriction. She has not heard back privately or publicly from Melissa and has no idea what is going on. If anyone is lobbying against her, she would be happy to answer questions Melissa may have in private. If all of you are clueless as to what is going on, then she says "join the club!" Efforts she has made to get an explanation have gone unanswered. She therefore cannot participate in the "buy-in" on whether or not to restart bothe the "I say yes...." thread or the thread she started "My Fellow Deletees...." and which she very unsuccessfully attempted to keep on topic. She is feeling about as eager to come back as Blue is.
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Beautiful post, Apple.
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Thank you Apple .. spoken from the heart.
Bren
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Annabanana,
I hope that your recovery goes well - go easy on yourself. I hope that you still come here because there is a wealth of information, support and wonderful people. I'm new to posting myself, and I know that we newbies tend to first look at the 'active threads' first, and there have been a few disagreements that might have been better handled in private messages.
I have no clue as to what is going on, except that it has something to do with brussel sprouts, sock puppets and roller derby. I think the trick is to recognize and avoid certain threads. The thread on tea infusion time is like valium to me ( http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/119/topic/764516?page=1#idx_27 )
I hope you will recover soon!!
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No JB .. I don't agree with you. Last fall I had 13 survivors at my house for the weekend, along with a few husbands. And we all met here on BCO. They drove and flew in from all over the U.S.
What we had was a glorious time of friendship and fellowship. We talked, mostly laughed, and partied! That's what you get in a room full of women.
Bren
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