My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters

pip57

I agree with Beesie's suggestions.

chevy2levy

Five, I think the other emails were warnings only.  I am confused though because that post was just as abusive as the rest.

fivepostsperd1ay

If you are correct, chevy, this only thickens the plot. To my knowledge, the system bans and only the mods can override the system and unban. So.....why didn't the mods not simply overturn the entire verdict in the case of Blue and Athena and restore full privileges? In both Blue's and Athena's cases, my understanding is that the mods chose to unban but retained posting restrictions. In Athena's case, no explanation was provided, although she did ask. It came across as arbitrary to her, pending an explanation.

Ergo, new questions:

Why was there any punishment at all - was there any objection at all to Blue's and Athena's deletions of the Lizard posts? Were they both punished for deleting Lizard?  If deleting posts such as LIzards' is controversial, then, frankly, why are some other posts on BCO deleted and never reinstated no matter what?

Having difficulty understand the purgatory punishment. It seems that you either delete a post correctly or not, and that if the mod believes the system's automated reaction should be reversed, then you should be presumed innocent until proven guilty.

This brings up another perennial advantage that deleters and de-removed posters have: they force the moderator to take an individual look at events and make a judgement call. Other posters who routinely write abusive, combative posts but get heard are subject to no such scrutiny.  

I believe the rationale for the judgement call should be explained and e-mails asking the mods for clarification should be responded to. Too often, such requests for information are simply ignored. Perhaps the mods don't have time. Very well, then, just reinstate full privileges OR keep the ban. If there is little time and things must be done quickly, then make judgement calls black-and-white. Otherwise, the impression may be inadvertently given that there is some caprice involved.  

And to those who think that these conversations appear self absorbed and are a waste of time and effort: you are invited to change your BCO reading habits. There are hundreds of BCO threads to choose from.  

And if any of you think it's a big show to clap about and have popcorn over, I would like to remind yout that everyone here seeks support and friendship, and it's not only for cancer. Interestingly, two people in question, Blue and Athena, happen to have major comorbidities and could really, really do without this infringerment upon their freedom at the moment. They are also two people who started threads with the intent to promote some sort of closeness in the community. This isn't exactly something the doctor would order for either.

So this is a serious matter and it is directly related to the mission of BCO. 

chevy2levy

Looks like they were removed now. They are no longer on the member list. So it may have been an oversight.

ADK

Good!

1Athena1

Good. Also, Melissa sends to say that I am no longer on restriction - that she thought I was off it to begin with. I'd have to post several times to confirm but I am too tired. Thanks Melissa! G' Night all. Hope Blue is no longer on parole either.

Moderators

Hello All, 

First, it looks like the great majority agree to keep the thread running. So, we'll do that.

Secondly, there were a great number of reports, deletions, bans, etc. in the last days. It has been rather difficult to keep up with it all. I hadn't realized that Athena was still banned. That is cleared now. Some posts were not purposely re-instated.  The system and I have been battling a bit, as our tech crew is also making some changes. Thanks for your patience. 

We are currently revamping the "report this post" feature, however the idea of doing away with it altogether is interesting. Definitely worth discussing! For those of you who have been around awhile, we started that to deal with the spam issues. Or, we make it that the newly registered people cannot report the posts, as someone suggested. All good points.

Also a good suggestion to connect with the mods on the other boards, need be.  

Thanks for your constructive feedback.  

Melissa 

Moderators

Oh, I forgot to add, THANK YOU to those  who have sent in your kind-hearted, generous, and most-important donations!! Thank you, thank you!! 

ADK

Thank you, Melissa. 

Mazy1959

Melissa,

I dont really understand whats going on on this thread but I want you and all BCO members to know that my devotion is here. It hurts to be singled out and picked on and bullied, I know because it has happened to me also. Blue and Athena both seem to be 2 powerful voices here and often those are the ones who get most of the nonsense..IMHO. The last couple days makes this thread look like an undercover conspiracy story and I personally dont like anyone trying to damage your reputation or this site's. We all make mistakes now and then or get mad etc but overall I beleive we are very caring towards eachother. You are most welcome for my donation..I made it from my heart to support this most wonderful, caring and supportive breast cancer support site. Luv and Hugs, Mazy

BarbaraA

Wow, Mazy. I couldn't have said it better. I, too, gave so we can continue to have our safe place to come together and share our kooky pet stories, recipes, wildlife equipment, etc. Melissa, thank you and the other mods for the work you do. Revamping the report this post button will go a long way toward stopping this junior high school deletion nonsense.

Happy Thursday folks and welcome back Athena and Blue!

Anonymous

Melissa,

after reading other posts on this thread, I AGREE, please do not remove the Report Post, just add the NAME of the person who is reporting it.  Thank you for allowing me to understand more, and reconsider my original post.

Bren-2007

Glad to see we're still here!  Also good to see the Lizard is permanently gone! yay!

I sure hope the new changes go into effect quickly.  I would hate to see another attack on this fund raising thread.

Hope everyone has a good day,

Bren

Medigal

There is something I need to bring attention to.  I am very happy Blue and Athena are back!  BUT I truly resent it when any remarks are made insinuating WE are fighting with each other or being hostile to one another.  The real problem is that WE are fine with our posts and replies and get along and then "someone" from "outside" bursts in and starts a problem like what happened to Blue the other night and all Hell breaks loose because we "try" to get rid of the hostile entity.  The problems don't usually come from "within" from what I have noticed, they are from those who want to purposely make trouble for our group. 

"They" made it clear they were PMing Melissa the other night in order to bring her attention to what was going on with Blue.  Do WE PM their moderator and tell on them??  Not that I know of and frankly I don't think it is up to us to do that but Melissa if she sees their members are making trouble on our thread.  This is why I made the suggestion about keeping our groups seperate and our members not crossing over and being in both groups.  I do not choose to dictate which groups people can belong to but I cannot understand how we can be part of this group and a group which uses their energy to make problems for "us".  

Check the past threads for yourself and see when the battles start.  We have disagreements within our group but the ugly hostile stuff seems to be purposely brought in to start the kind of battles that has to bring Melissa on board.  Just my opinion.

Enjoyful

Medilady,

Here's what I think happened:

A few years ago, the political debates got out of hand, so a group decided to create their own site, free from the tyranny of the left and the Moderators.  

The site evolved into a "why we hate Obama and all lefties" site and included some insults to persons on this site.  Since they'd given the address of their new site here, some of us joined up and some of us just observed.

When they found out we could see what was written, panic ensued briefly, but only until they figured out that not only could they insult us to our faces yet behind our backs, we were powerless to fight back.  Or, if we tried, some unknown entity(ies) would swarm over here and report those posts.  

It's a great setup for those who want to create discord.  I'm not saying that all of them do, just saying it's a great setup.

Until something's done about the Report feature, it'll continue.

E

Medigal

E:  Thanks for the input.  You are probably right.  I think the only way to handle it is if Melissa will cooperate and when she finds one of "them" on here instigating a fight, she should contact "their" Mod to keep them in line.  She also should get wise to them when they contact her about us.  I stand by my theory that "we" amongst ourselves can get along.  The problem is purposely brought in from the outside.  I do hope the Report feature is resolved so we can see if that does take care of the problem.

Alpal

Medigal - they use volunteer mods. If I'm not mistaken, every single one of their mods is a member of BCO. We just need to get the report function changed and it will solve many of our problems.

Enjoyful

And, to be honest, some of us here (myself included) have engaged in stick-poking.  I've broken my stick, burned the pieces, and deposited the ashes in the dog-poo cans conveniently placed throughout my neighborhood.  I hope I don't need to find another stick.

Alpal

E - I mailed you my sticks. You did get them, didn't you? And, got rid of them when you took care of yours? Just making sure.

Bren-2007

E .. the ignore button is a useful stick .. and you don't have to hit anybody with it!  Right now, the ignore button and self-restraint is all we've got in our bag of tricks.

Engaging in conflict has proven to be detrimental to everyone.

Bren

PS .. Alpal is correct, all the mods on the other site are members of BCO.  You can send them PM's right from here.

Enjoyful

Well sure, Bren, but when someone else like Eff gets attacked (and I can see by her reaction that she is being attacked), it's difficult to ignore.  I believe it's our responsibility to stand up for someone when they're attacked by bigots. 

Alpal - I did get your sticks and they're awesome!  I liked the gold leaf, nice touch.  It's raining today, so the outdoor break & burn ceremony is scheduled for tomorrow.

E

Alpal

I thought you'd like them. The pearls added a nice touch, didn't they?

Wabbit

I was happy to see Melissa's post last night.

Hoping she will come back soon and tell us exactly what changes to the Report button have been made.

Maybe she can set it up so a troll playing with it gets an immediate electric shock  

Enjoyful

Yes, wasn't so sure about the jingle bells, though.

Anonymous

A moderator on one site has absolutely no control over what happens at any other site on the internet. 

No woman posting here needs to have someone come in from anywhere else and keep them in line.  If Melissa finds that anyone is breaking the rules of this board and posting inappropriately, she has a number of tools available to her to deal with the situation.  She is not on her computer at work 24/7, are you?  Sometimes it takes time for her to figure out what is happening and make the corrections she deems necessary.  We need to allow her that time, especially since trying to rush through things can lead to mistakes and missed actions. 

As far as that report button goes, apparently some people who have been wailing the most loudly about it being misused have been using it liberally themselves. 

If you are responding to someone's post that you disagree with, please read the original at least twice before you hit the submit button.  Sometimes when something upsets us, we can misread what is really written, and write a response based on what we think is there rather than what really is there.  Others, especially if they have the original poster on "ignore", only see the inflamed interpretation, and the whole discussion spirals out of control. 

We are all adults here, and shouldn't need anyone to babysit us.  We are each responsible for our own words and actions.  If we all treat everyone here with respect, even when we disagree with each other, life will be less stressful, and that is good for everyone's health and well being.

Bren-2007

I'm sending my stick to E for the burn ceremony tomorrow too.  My stick is cedar from my huge cedar tree.

Bren

PS .. It's raining like crazy here too.  I want summertime!

Alpal

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. And, I've thought about this.

Alpal

I did read the post I was replying to several times. Reread again after I posted and decided it really wasn't worth the effort, so I deleted my reply.

Enjoyful

Aha, Pat, but some of us AREN'T behaving like adults, hence the problem.  Other than deleting the insulting posts of uber-secret agent "LIzardKing" and all succeeding iterations, the "lefties" show remarkable restraint in the face of some pretty nasty posts.  You can't lay this at our feet.

And with that, ignore engaged.

E

bluedahlia

Pat, the Lizard posts were offensive.  Are you saying we should have let them stand?