Troll psychology

That was quick!  The post disappeared and must have happened right after I read it because I thought "for sure I am not reading what I am reading" so I was going back to re-read it and poof - gone!

YramAl,

I said "an indirect attack" and I stand by my comment. It was obvious to me from reading a dialogue on another thread. And I knew who she referring to before SV's name was mentioned.

I find it so sad that women have to attack other women whether directly or indirectly.

painterly-

I'll give you "indirect"-very indirect, indeed. I spend way too much time playing detective with these things. I need to get a life. 

Mary 

Just home from work -- once again I miss the whole she-bang.  All wells that ends well though, right.

IllinoisLady

Wow. I was out all day with no access to a computer so I missed everything that went on today. Good thing, I think.   Since I have obviously played a part in today's activities, let me state a few things for the record:

1) I participated in this thread because I thought it was an interesting topic.  We had just seen a new member of this board attacked for being a troll, when it turned out that she was simply someone who was newly diagnosed and scared. So the question of "troll psychology" intrigued me, both from the standpoint of the people who are the trolls, and in considering how others react to people who are or may be trolls.  

2) I've been on this board for over 5 years.  During that time, I've seen some trolls. Some are quite obvious; others take a while to be discovered.  During that time I've also seen a number of people who've been accused of being trolls who were actually legitimate, honest members of this board. Everything I wrote in all my posts in this thread was based on what I've seen over the 5+ years. I summarized the types of behaviors that I've seen that tend to cause me, and others, to have suspicions.

3) I did not come to this thread with an agenda or any intention to call someone out or identify behaviors of any specific individuals. What I described was a blend of 5 years of experience on this board; nothing was specific to any one person, nor was I ever thinking about any one person (current or past).  

4) I received a nasty PM yesterday, referencing this thread. I notified Melissa (the Moderator) about it and asked her to do whatever she felt was appropriate. I mentioned in a post here last night that I'd received the PM (I went public because I wondered if anyone else had received a similar PM) however I did not state the name of the person who sent me the PM nor did I repeat the content of message. I also did not pass that information along to anyone in a PM, except for Melissa.

5) SV, for some reason you decided to post publicly that you'd been accused of sending a nasty PM, and you included my name in your post. I don't know why in the world you did that.  What I do know is that I have no idea who you are. I don't think I've ever even read one of your posts (although having been on the board for so long, I of course can't say that with certainty).  In your most recent post in this thread, you say "If you havd read the first pages started by hyml, and I will name the others if needed, there were obscene and direct personal attacks on me". I don't know if I am one of the "others" that you are referring to. If I am, I have no clue why you would think that I've been attacking you.  And even if I'm not one of the "others", based on all that's gone on today, I'm guessing that most people will think that I am.  So let me be very clear in stating that I was not referring to you or attacking you in any of my posts. I don't even know who you are.

In light of what happened with the new board member last week, I thought that this was an interesting and useful discussion of what constitutes troll behavior, and how we should deal with people who may or may not be trolls. I was not thinking about or referring to any specific person in any of my comments (with the exception of the discussion about the stalker).  If anyone else was referring to someone specific, I was certainly not party to it.

I hope that this clears up any questions or confusion about my role in all of this.

Edited to clarify one point. 

Beesie-

I don't post all that often, but I want to say that I have always appreciated what you have to say.

Mary 

Beesie, you already know what I think, so, 'nuf said.  But, here's another hug in case those others didn't stick:  {{{{Beesie}}}}

[I originally typed a whole bunch of other stuff here about what's been going on, but I decided to delete it because things seem especially unpredictable lately.]

otter

Otter - I couldn't agree more!  I find myself editing my own posts to make sure I don't write anything that can be construed "against the rules of the board"

And here is another ((((((Beesie))))))

Put my hugs up there too.

IllinoisLady

VIV!  It's great to see you!!

((((BEESIE)))))

I have never found Beesie to be mean spirited but a thoughtful and articulate woman who tries her best to be open minded and helpful.

Dont know what all went down, and I am sorry to hear that someone would send an abusive message to Beesie. Those are not necessary in order for someone to get their points across 

Susans Garden you may have something there.  Dare I say this???I think some may be so much for themselves that everything is perceived to be about them and don't see things as idea sharing.  Is it a persecution complex -- not even sure how that works, but I am thankful for coherent people who think things through because it is very beneficial and helpful to others who have  ( sadly I am one of them ) some difficulty separating the grain from the chaff. 

I'm editing myself here to add that I do think Athena that leaving the threads if possible for reference could be a wise thing.  How I feel about one thing could change -- every moment we live after all is a new one and we are not static.  Something that didn't make sense or that I didn't see at all may suddenly be available --- just like you watch a movie a second time and see something you missed. 

Thanks,

IllinoisLady

I'll add my vote that I hope that this thread is not deleted.  I think that there is some helpful information in here about how to deal with people who may - or may not - be trolls.  None of the posts refer to any specific individuals and the Moderator had previously reviewed the thread and concluded that the discussion was respectful.  So hopefully the thread is not deleted because of a misunderstanding and something that took place behind the scenes.  

Hi Gals....Beesie, sometimes we women get "attacked," "in our own minds."   We can't seem to understand that we are NOT always right....that we might be interpreting some things wrong.  All you did was try & explain, what you thought/know is the explanation of a troll....which by the way, IS what this thread is about.  

And it was very good...but I think, there are those that take THAT idea, & become positive that it was directed towards them...and they retaliate the only way they know how.   When any dis-agreement becomes personal, it is usually designed to "get back at" or slam another person into the mud..... and everybody feels this, when it is posted on a public forum!    We all hate to see these "cat-fights".....but it's bound to happen, when we all are so different....

Oh wait!  I see the white flag coming out!  Sheesh!    It's like what brought THAT on?  Thanks Moderators....maybe it will all settle down now.

You are right Lago...Some people DO attack...and when we see this, it just makes us back away, & leave a thread....to which we have been posting on for over a year.  And there are some women who do bully, and come down hard on anyone who dares to try & question their postings.

You or anyone else should never be "followed" or PM'd by people on this board....If they don't agree with you, then state that, but leave the personal attack out of it.   It's like the Moderators have to get involved in grown women acting like kids!

I don't care if we are new to this cancer business, or have been through it all...Everyone deserves respect, & we need support, & understanding. 

And you are a much better person for not addressing "this person" by name...sometimes they can hang themselves, with their postings & PM's!

Yes, it DOES bother me...when someone is attacked....I think if someone reads something, they automatically assume it is directed towards them!  I think this is "guilty conscience".........But posting names to "get back at" never helps.  I mean IMHO.