Troll psychology

jancie

I wouldn't dream of reporting SV's response.  I think it needs to stay up for everyone to read and not get shoved under the carpet. 

And to think I had two posts deleted and I didn't get anywhere close to being as hateful as this post is?   I never even heard of this member until today.  Guess that goes to show you that I am so not in the "know" around here.

jancie

That was quick!  The post disappeared and must have happened right after I read it because I thought "for sure I am not reading what I am reading" so I was going back to re-read it and poof - gone!

YramAL

I think I know what post you're talking about painterly, and it's a big stretch to call that an attack. The person posting speculated that they might have struck a chord with a certain person, in not a good way, and never named that person. The moderators are actually the ones who put SV's name out there. 

Again, I say, wow, just wow. 

painterly

YramAl,

I said "an indirect attack" and I stand by my comment. It was obvious to me from reading a dialogue on another thread. And I knew who she referring to before SV's name was mentioned.

I find it so sad that women have to attack other women whether directly or indirectly.

painterly

YramAl,

No, it wasn't the poster who thought she may have struck a chord with Sv. No, it wasn't her at all.

YramAL

painterly-

I'll give you "indirect"-very indirect, indeed. I spend way too much time playing detective with these things. I need to get a life. 

Mary 

painterly

"Indirect" inasmuch as she didn't say the woman's name. If you had read the other thread you would also have recognised this poster.

IllinoisLady

Just home from work -- once again I miss the whole she-bang.  All wells that ends well though, right.

IllinoisLady

Alpal

No, not always.

Beesie

Wow. I was out all day with no access to a computer so I missed everything that went on today. Good thing, I think.   Since I have obviously played a part in today's activities, let me state a few things for the record:

1) I participated in this thread because I thought it was an interesting topic.  We had just seen a new member of this board attacked for being a troll, when it turned out that she was simply someone who was newly diagnosed and scared. So the question of "troll psychology" intrigued me, both from the standpoint of the people who are the trolls, and in considering how others react to people who are or may be trolls.  

2) I've been on this board for over 5 years.  During that time, I've seen some trolls. Some are quite obvious; others take a while to be discovered.  During that time I've also seen a number of people who've been accused of being trolls who were actually legitimate, honest members of this board. Everything I wrote in all my posts in this thread was based on what I've seen over the 5+ years. I summarized the types of behaviors that I've seen that tend to cause me, and others, to have suspicions.

3) I did not come to this thread with an agenda or any intention to call someone out or identify behaviors of any specific individuals. What I described was a blend of 5 years of experience on this board; nothing was specific to any one person, nor was I ever thinking about any one person (current or past).  

4) I received a nasty PM yesterday, referencing this thread. I notified Melissa (the Moderator) about it and asked her to do whatever she felt was appropriate. I mentioned in a post here last night that I'd received the PM (I went public because I wondered if anyone else had received a similar PM) however I did not state the name of the person who sent me the PM nor did I repeat the content of message. I also did not pass that information along to anyone in a PM, except for Melissa.

5) SV, for some reason you decided to post publicly that you'd been accused of sending a nasty PM, and you included my name in your post. I don't know why in the world you did that.  What I do know is that I have no idea who you are. I don't think I've ever even read one of your posts (although having been on the board for so long, I of course can't say that with certainty).  In your most recent post in this thread, you say "If you havd read the first pages started by hyml, and I will name the others if needed, there were obscene and direct personal attacks on me". I don't know if I am one of the "others" that you are referring to. If I am, I have no clue why you would think that I've been attacking you.  And even if I'm not one of the "others", based on all that's gone on today, I'm guessing that most people will think that I am.  So let me be very clear in stating that I was not referring to you or attacking you in any of my posts. I don't even know who you are.

In light of what happened with the new board member last week, I thought that this was an interesting and useful discussion of what constitutes troll behavior, and how we should deal with people who may or may not be trolls. I was not thinking about or referring to any specific person in any of my comments (with the exception of the discussion about the stalker).  If anyone else was referring to someone specific, I was certainly not party to it.

I hope that this clears up any questions or confusion about my role in all of this.

Edited to clarify one point. 

1Athena1

Beesie, speaking for myself in the most forceful manner, you have no reason to explain/apologize or clarify. What has gone on here tonight is so inappropriate that it belies comprehension and I am sorry that you were victimized either wittingly or unwittingly. I, too, know nothing of perceived attacks or what they mean, nor do I want to, but, as the barman says amidst a brawl, people need to "take it outside."

Edited to add hugs to (((((Beesie)))))

YramAL

Beesie-

I don't post all that often, but I want to say that I have always appreciated what you have to say.

Mary 

bluedahlia

A little investigative work on my behalf confirms she was not referring to you Beesie.  I don't understand why you received that pm.

otter

Beesie, you already know what I think, so, 'nuf said.  But, here's another hug in case those others didn't stick:  {{{{Beesie}}}}

[I originally typed a whole bunch of other stuff here about what's been going on, but I decided to delete it because things seem especially unpredictable lately.]

otter

crazy4carrots

Beesie -- More hugs from me too!

jancie

Otter - I couldn't agree more!  I find myself editing my own posts to make sure I don't write anything that can be construed "against the rules of the board"

And here is another ((((((Beesie))))))

leaf

More hugs to Bessie!  You're the best!

IllinoisLady

Put my hugs up there too.

IllinoisLady

Anonymous

AMEN!!!! YA  xoxo BEESIE

Marple

VIV!  It's great to see you!!

Anonymous

Damn, I missed the post.  I'm sure my imagination is far worse than what it was! 

Wow.  All this drama in the last couple weeks has been interesting to observe as a "newbie".  Maybe we can blame it all on too many of us being on "hormone therapy". 

marie5890

((((BEESIE)))))

I have never found Beesie to be mean spirited but a thoughtful and articulate woman who tries her best to be open minded and helpful.

Dont know what all went down, and I am sorry to hear that someone would send an abusive message to Beesie. Those are not necessary in order for someone to get their points across 

1Athena1

Susan, hormone therapy has always been my explanation too. Take thousands of women already pissed off because of having to deal with cancer in the prime of life (age 20-70), then add hormone therapy....it's amazing that we have as much calm as we do. 

I hope this thread does not get deleted. I don't particularly care for it, but I think things can eventually resolve themselves, people can level out and we can learn to resolve the kinks and keep a written record as a reminder.

In fact, I think thread deletions should be kept to a minimum. I wish they had a "lock thread" mechanism and only reserved total deletions for really bad cases. The only thread I am really glad to see gone was one a few weeks ago that had to do with thinking of stages in cancer treatment as rituals.

Edited for grammar "typo" - grrrr!  

IllinoisLady

Susans Garden you may have something there.  Dare I say this???I think some may be so much for themselves that everything is perceived to be about them and don't see things as idea sharing.  Is it a persecution complex -- not even sure how that works, but I am thankful for coherent people who think things through because it is very beneficial and helpful to others who have  ( sadly I am one of them ) some difficulty separating the grain from the chaff. 

I'm editing myself here to add that I do think Athena that leaving the threads if possible for reference could be a wise thing.  How I feel about one thing could change -- every moment we live after all is a new one and we are not static.  Something that didn't make sense or that I didn't see at all may suddenly be available --- just like you watch a movie a second time and see something you missed. 

Thanks,

IllinoisLady

marie5890

(Am I missing something? I dont get the sense that there is a call for this thread to be deleted. The one from last week that got deleted was deleted because the lady who started asked moderators to deleted and has since become part of the community. So Im dont think there should be any concern for this thread. )

Beesie

I'll add my vote that I hope that this thread is not deleted.  I think that there is some helpful information in here about how to deal with people who may - or may not - be trolls.  None of the posts refer to any specific individuals and the Moderator had previously reviewed the thread and concluded that the discussion was respectful.  So hopefully the thread is not deleted because of a misunderstanding and something that took place behind the scenes.  

Moderators

Hi All, 

No, this thread won't be deleted. I think we have cleared up much of the confusion. New start!

Wishing you all a nice day !

Melissa 

Chevyboy

Hi Gals....Beesie, sometimes we women get "attacked," "in our own minds."   We can't seem to understand that we are NOT always right....that we might be interpreting some things wrong.  All you did was try & explain, what you thought/know is the explanation of a troll....which by the way, IS what this thread is about.  

And it was very good...but I think, there are those that take THAT idea, & become positive that it was directed towards them...and they retaliate the only way they know how.   When any dis-agreement becomes personal, it is usually designed to "get back at" or slam another person into the mud..... and everybody feels this, when it is posted on a public forum!    We all hate to see these "cat-fights".....but it's bound to happen, when we all are so different....

Oh wait!  I see the white flag coming out!  Sheesh!    It's like what brought THAT on?  Thanks Moderators....maybe it will all settle down now.

lago

But there are people who attack & stock. This one gal keeps attacking me directly. Always posting that I'm newly diagnosed and therefore no one should listen to me because I don't know what I'm talking about.

Just yesterday she did that again also adding I'm on the boards day & night giving advice. (Hmmm how would she know that unless she reads every one of my posts and checks the time. Granted most of my posts are not giving advice just like this one isn't).

While my input does disagree with hers most of the time I never attack her personally. The sad thing is that it really bothers others on these threads. No one likes fighting. 

Sometimes I do wonder if this person is a troll because she have not revealed her diagnosis. Also with under 100 posts per year (total 3 years) you have to wonder… considering the number of times she has attacked me in the past month.

Chevyboy

You are right Lago...Some people DO attack...and when we see this, it just makes us back away, & leave a thread....to which we have been posting on for over a year.  And there are some women who do bully, and come down hard on anyone who dares to try & question their postings.

You or anyone else should never be "followed" or PM'd by people on this board....If they don't agree with you, then state that, but leave the personal attack out of it.   It's like the Moderators have to get involved in grown women acting like kids!

I don't care if we are new to this cancer business, or have been through it all...Everyone deserves respect, & we need support, & understanding. 

And you are a much better person for not addressing "this person" by name...sometimes they can hang themselves, with their postings & PM's!

Yes, it DOES bother me...when someone is attacked....I think if someone reads something, they automatically assume it is directed towards them!  I think this is "guilty conscience".........But posting names to "get back at" never helps.  I mean IMHO.