Troll psychology

No, not everyone. Again, I think it's shallow. Moving on for sure this time.

I'm glad we can politely disagree. Do you think you perhaps just judged me and made the assumption that I think I'm perfect? Far from it...but that's up to you to decide. To be clear, this has nothing to do with the posts between you and I. Just trying to make my point.

I think I need to point out here that I'm not the master troll spotter, nor do I usually say anything when I spot someone who might be a troll.  I let others do that. In my posts I'm talking about what happens on the board, not necessarily what I do personally.

In the case that started this thread, although I saw the post as soon as it was written and although I wondered if the individual was serious / for real, or whether the post had been written with the intent to wreak havoc, I didn't post until several others had.  At that point, the individual had been confronted and I posted to explain to her, as politely as I could, why her post appeared to be somewhat questionable.  I also said that if her questions/comments were real, here's my advice on what to do.  Later, as some of the posts became a bit too direct for my liking - calling her a troll and a b!+@# - I posted to urge caution and I reminded everyone that we didn't know if she was for real or not.  I think that there is a way to be polite and respectful and supportive and yet still raise the questions if the legitimacy of an individual is suspect.  The individual who started the thread later thanked me for my post.  

While I see nothing wrong with calling out bad behavior and calling out trolls when we see them, if we are not sure, we need to be careful to not rush to judgement and we should always remain respectful. There is no need to attack.  I've seen individuals who's legitimacy has been questioned and who've turned out to be real who have left the board because of how they were treated.  And I've seen individuals who's legitimacy has been questioned who've turned out to be real who have stayed around and become established members of the board.  It's all in how it's handled.  I usually leave these situations to others, but if I see a situation that I think is far from certain and if I see someone being attacked, I will jump in.

Edited for typos only. 

Hi all...

I was just scanning through some active topics, and was surprised to find out that this topic was about what happened to me! (at least originally)

I just couldn't let this go by without adding a few comments. Gracie- you mentioned that hopefully a doctor's note wouldn't be needed from anyone asking for help.  I actually thought about asking the people who were calling me a "troll" if they wanted my Doctor's phone number to verify what I was saying was true!

And Beesie-  you have such a gift.  If I recall, you were not too sure in the beginning if I was legitimate or not, but you addressed me in such a way that was not accusatory and I definitely felt compassion through your posts.  I have to say, if it wasn't for you I am not sure if I would have hung around here.  After a few of the nasty posts I was extremely upset and thought about leaving and never looking back.  You were the voice of calm and reason through it all, and for that I thank you.

Coming from someone who was thought to be a troll, it was very very hurtful and made a horrible day even worse.  I think this thread is a great idea and maybe everyone can learn from it.  I do not want what happened to me to happen to anyone else.

Thank you ladies

Anna, it's great to see you here!  And thank you for your kind words!  I'm glad the my posts hit the right tone and were helpful to you.  Thanks to jancie and hymil as well.  

gracie, I kind of felt that your comment "It amazes me how one can make assumptions about someone they've never met. So sad." was referring to me since I was the one who describing what I see to be trollish behavior.  For that reason, I clarified that I was talking about what I see on this board, not what I usually do myself (in terms of calling out people who may be questionable).

Thinking further about your comment, isn't that a judgement in and of itself? You said that it's "so sad" that people make assumptions.  But what if the assumptions are good assumptions?  What if they drive us to be more supportive or offer more information?  I admit that I make assumptions about every post I read.  Based on how it's written, the language used, the grammar, the questions asked, etc., I decide how to respond or whether to respond at all. I spend most of my time in the "Not Diagnosed" and "Waiting for Test Results" forums and I tend to focus my attention on situations where I have personal experience. I've had lots cysts and fibroadenomas and fatty deposits and severely fibrocystic breasts and extremely dense breasts and pretty much every type of biospy (except MRI guided) and ADH and a diagnosis of early stage BC.  I have experience with a lot of the types of situations that come into those forums.  But I don't respond to every post; I couldn't possibly or I'd live on this site. So I respond selectly - and I use assumptions to decide which posts to respond to. Doesn't everyone do that, select some posts to respond to while not responding to others?  Don't we all make judgements? When I do respond to a post, I know that I often tend to go a bit overboard with the facts and the research (no kidding!). Sometimes however I read a post and judge that this individual might not be receptive to that type of detailed information, so instead I write a different type of response. I make assumptions in order to provide what I think will be the most helpful response possible. Is that bad?

Your comment has really got me thinking. I agree with jancie. I think it's human nature to judge and make assumptions.  Sometimes that's a shame, but often times the result is positive and the assumptions are to the benefit of the individual. I come to this board to offer support. When I think of my behavior here, particularly in the two forums that I mentioned earlier, I'd say that more often I make assumptions that are to someone's benefit than the other way around.

So isn't it an assumption then to say that making assumptions is sad?  

At the risk of sounding like a

this discussion is starting to go in circles. I think we all agree and no one is trying to hurt anyone else.

I don't know how to define a troll here in writing. I know one when I see one. A troll can appear suddenly or develop over time, and a poster can be a troll in some instances and not in others. Trolls are, after all, human beings and they are not always on their game, even as trolls. They are nice on some threads and deliberately disruptive on others. Spammers are the only genuinely  chronic trolls because they are illegitimately disrupting a message board for their own purposes. Liars or impersonators who stretch their story out over many posts are not trolls but very disturbed individuals, IMO. So trolls are only ONE hazard in a message board. Nutcases are another.

Exactly!!!

Hello All, 

Thanks for keeping this nice, and non-confrontational. Please keep the peace, All.

Thank you.

I have found this thread to be a very helpful and healthy way to discuss the problem of trolling in all of it forms. I too am glad that the mods didnt see it as a problem.

If someone did report it that would be unfortunate. It's been an excellent thread on the topic.  

Deleted, as this responds to a deleted post.

Early stage cancer is like crossing the Mafia and getting away with it. You live, but must forever glance over your shoulder.
Diagnosis: 3/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIb, Grade 3, 3/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-