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  • Bigapple09
    Bigapple09 Member Posts: 440
    edited February 2010

    Angel, my bday is 5/18 and Liliah is having her surgery on my bday. Save me some cake, oh wait, I'll have a new flat tummy so no cake for me :)

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Snugly ensconced in our house (dear BF gets to have a snow day from a company notorious for never having any)!  Loving the snow fall today because I don't have to go anywhere... tomorrow however....

    Sweaty -- if your first pathology was based on a biopsy (which I assume it was) you can't compare the reports.  The biopsy is of such a small portion of tissue that things like the extent of the ER/PR or even HER2 status are not reliable; it's best for just saying: Yeah this is cancer.  My biopsy, for example, found "no evidence" of HER2 or some such waffling sort of phrase, which I later found out does not mean NO HER2.  My lumpectomy showed my cancer was both invasive AND Her2 positive. 

    Lilah

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  • Angel10
    Angel10 Member Posts: 682
    edited February 2010

    Apple...you have it all backwards...if you have flat tummy....then you can enjoy the cake! Otherwise what's the point??Laughing

    God Bless!

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  • Angel10
    Angel10 Member Posts: 682
    edited February 2010

    GTG NEWS to save!

    Neary's

    On 57 St. just west of 1st. Ave 

    358 E. 57th Street, New York, NY
    Tel: (212) 751-1434

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Looking forward to it Angel!

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    So I leave my apt this am, it's lovely and peaceful and snowy.  I take a pic of the snow covered park across the street.  I slowly make my way to the (elevated) subway.

    A while later, I'm sitting across from a (probably) homeless guy, who was sprawled across the entire "bench."  He didn't smell or anything, so that was good.

    A while later, a woman gets on and wakes me out of my half sleep by stepping on my foot.  She apologizes, we chat.  She asks if the homeless guy is now masturbating.  I start laughing so hard I start to cry - HE IS!!! 

    I LOVE NEW YORK.

    When he stopped and went back to sleep, I took a pic of him, too.

    Went to work.

    Went to PS, who stuck a needle in my formerly healthy breast, a needle which was attached to a BIG FAT plastic syringe, a syringe which quickly filled up with NASTY BLOODY FLUID.  I think he should have filled up another syringe or two.  Another app't next week.

    Went back to work.

    Left early due to continued threat of snow during evening commute, a threat which now seems quite overrated.  Walking home from the subway was much easier than walking to it this morning.  Everyone is now sledding in the park across the street, and I would be too, but my breasts HURT too much for physical fun.

    And a good friend of mine was diagnosed with lymphoma yesterday.  I'm far too young to have so many of my friends diagnosed with various cancers.  Cancer sucks muchly.  But you already knew that.

    Looking forward to the March GTG!  

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited February 2010

    Sweaty..Back to work and back to your long and sometimes humorous and very informative emails.

    Flash.too bad about the delay. The waiting is always the worst.

    Angel- This year will be much better.

    Wendy..Glad you got an earlier date. Now you even have a twin.Lilah..

    Ladies..Looking forward to seeing all on the 13th.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Francine - you are a sweetie!  I WISH Wendy was my twin -- she's so adorable!

    Sweaty -- bring the pictures on March 13 :)  Do you have a hematoma?  (Was wondering why blood is being withdrawn).  Hope you are okay.

    Looking forward to meeting up next month.

    Lilah

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  • Bigapple09
    Bigapple09 Member Posts: 440
    edited February 2010

    Liliah:

    Aww gee thanks.

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    The fluid removed was the stuff that comes out through the drain.  I don't know if that means I officially had a seroma, or whether the drain wasn't draining properly, or whether we removed the drain too soon, or what....  but it feels much better today.  Still not perfect (or "nomal"), but I guess that's to be expected.

    It will get checked again in a week.

    I'm still not thrilled with the way that breast (the formerly "healthy" breast) looks, but hopefully it WILL settle out in time. 

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    I hope it gets better too Sweaty.  And thanks for the explanation!  I didn't remember you had your drains out already... guess I do have a tad o' that chemo brain :)

    Looking forward to meeting up with you in March.

    Lilah

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Oh and you are welcome Wendy :)  I could be your evil twin mwahahahaha.

    Lilah

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited February 2010

    Lilah.

    Looking forward to seeing you on the 13th.

    Should be a fun outing. A real nice group of women.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • MBCR
    MBCR Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2010

    March 13 sounds good. 

    Due to snow storm my GYNO appointment for results of D&C was rescheduled for next week. But I had my mammo & quarterly check up w/ ONCO & visit was good.

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    Congrats on the boob check, MBCR!

    A very good friend was diagnosed with lymphoma this past week.  I'm too young to have so many of my friends getting CA.  Or am I older than I think?

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  • Bigapple09
    Bigapple09 Member Posts: 440
    edited February 2010

    Cancer does nor discriminate by age : (

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    F cancer -- I say.  It really f-ing pisses me off.

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  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 897
    edited February 2010

    Happy Valentines Day to all of you! Hope you or a loved one gave you something sweet...

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited February 2010

    "

    Hope all had a happy and healthy Valentine's Day.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    Band names of the day:

    Lollipop Scar

    The Sacchini Incision

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  • Cheryl_in_SI
    Cheryl_in_SI Member Posts: 17
    edited February 2010

    HI evryone

    Just popping in to say hello - havne't been on this site much lately.  Congrats to all with good reports and good luck to ll with upcoming procedures and tests.  I just strated round 3 of six of TCH.  I cannot make the GTG - I will be seeing The Addams Family on Broadway that afternoon.

    Cheryl 

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  • tweetybird
    tweetybird Member Posts: 815
    edited February 2010

    All,

    Just popping in to see how everybody's doing. I just got the results of my biopsy, still dancing with NED!!!!!! It was fibrocystic tissue, which I was always prone to. I can definitly use that Irish Bar get together about now.

    I'm still not sure if I can make it or not on March 13th. I'm waiting to hear back from one of my bff's about another St. Patricks party that day/night. I'll keep you posted if I can make it.

    Janet :)

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Woo hoo Janet!  Great news!

    Lilah

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Sweaty -- OG -- how are you two feeling?

    Lilah

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    Hi Cheryl, sorry you can't make it.

    CONGRATULATIONS JANET!!!

    Lilah - I got my steri strips off and stitches out yesterday.  I'm very freaked out about what my breasts look like.  I guess I'll get used to it eventually, but I'm seriously freaked right now. 

    My "healthy" breast had better change shape or I'll be shopping around for revision surgery.  My "bad" breast is probably pretty close to a perfect result.   Emotionally I feel like a bilateral freakshow.

    Still hurts but not horribly.  I can finally lie on my side, not all of my weight and not for very long, but it's getting better.  Still have to sleep on my back, which results in not so great sleep.  The feeling of the sheets on my incisions is somewhere between annoying and painful. It hurts when I laugh.  It hurts when I walk - but not as much as it did a few days ago.  I think it will probably hurt for months. 

    Starting to second guess myself and think I should have gone for a lesser surgery, but then have to remind myself I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, and I don't/can't know that a lesser surgery would have turned out any better.

    I don't know how long it will take to emotionally accept the new "me."   It still seems like a bad dream that I'll wake up from. 

    Rads in end of March or beginning of April. 

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  • MBCR
    MBCR Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2010

    My biopsy was B9

    sweatyspice:  There is no second guessing & looking back. Think positive & move forward.

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  • Lilah
    Lilah Member Posts: 4,898
    edited February 2010

    Sweaty -- I agree with MBCR: don't second guess yourself.  It's impossible to have perfect foreknowledge and god knows we get slammed in the face (and in the brain) with horrible news, a ton of information, and no time (really) to absorb it all... so we do the best we can.  Sounds like you had your healthy breast reduced to match your BC breast at excision (if I read right)... it's still so recent that you need to give it time to heal before you can know how it will really be.  You CAN go back and revise... there are many options should you find you are truly unhappy with your results.  For now your job is to heal!

    Lilah

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited February 2010

    Sweaty.

    I agree ..no second thoguhts. Just look ahead and not behind..

    MBCRand Tweety..Glad all went well.Good news is what we like to hear.

    See all on the 13th.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2010

    Congrats MBCR!

    Thanks for the thoughts ladies, but not looking back is easier to say than to do, at least for me, at least for now.  It's most likely a phase that will pass, because eventually I'll probably accept that this has really happened.  I'm still in the shock/anger/sadness/fear period.  Lots of intense shooting pains today, but didn't hurt so much when I walked....

    (I had a reduction and lift on both breasts, after a double lumpectomy in one of them [though it ended up being a big, single lumpectomy b/c BS decided to take both areas out as one piece when she saw where the fishhooks were placed. She went all the way down to the chest wall.]  Weird that the breast which had all that work done on it looks so much better than the one which was a more 'standard' boob job operation.  But they both freak me out.)

    Hopefully in a year or so I can hang out in the dating and cancer thread.

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  • Bigapple09
    Bigapple09 Member Posts: 440
    edited February 2010

    Sweaty:

    I think its part of the process. I look back and ask myself if I knew things were going to turn out this way, what would I have done. Sometimes I say, yes I am glad I did this because now I don't have to be afraid that my genes will determine that my breasts kill me, and other days I say, nope, I would have done this or that differently.

    They are your thoughts and feelings and you are the only one who knows how you feel. I think it is good to acknowledge your feelings and not stuff them down into a place where they just come out in some other form. I also think its good to have a road map and a compass, and say, OK, this sort of stinks, but there is now rewind button on life, how do I get to the place I really want to be where these feelings will only be a memory. Its all very hard and we all get to the place we should eventually and by our own path. I am so sorry that it is sucky right now.

    I keep trying to remind myself that I am more than a pair of breasts, and boy I really liked mine.  Maybe I wont attract the same men that I did in the past, but like they were any good for me anyway? So its a new chapter and I don't know what it holds, but I know one thing, the leading man will not be some blow hard who tells me he loves me for my spirit and mind and then freaks out if I gain a pound or get a zit, it will have to be a man who acknowledges all the great stuff about me and takes me with my flawed breasts and all.

    Who the heck knows what will be but we have made choices that give us the best chance at staying alive, and that is a pretty big deal.

    MCBR: I am so happy for you!!

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