Does anyone besides me hate the holidays?

Libido is impacted by lots...medication, stress, worry, etc.  I agree with kmccraw423 - how could your libido NOT be affected by all you have gone through!  Hang in there.

I don't even know what a Libido is any more.

Ya HOO xmas is over now we can relax.

And I am resolving NOT to make any New Year's resolutions ....  !!!!! (edited to correct spelling, maybe that should be my resolution?)

3katz, I've been tempted to stop picking up the ball with keeping in contact with some of my friends over the years.  Maybe you should just not host and when anyone asks why there wasn't a party just say you were too tired, or too sick, or too old, or too something to host a party this year and no one else knows how! Either you'll get a chuckle or someone else will step up to the plate. 

eastender--hope the test goes well--I'm claustrophobic and would never even attempt to get into an MRI machine.  Maybe you should take a copy of our posts and just hand them to the doc and ask her opinion?  You wouldn't have to fight anything and he message would get across, hopefully. 

lefty-I made a resolution many years ago to stop making resolutions.  Haven't broken it yet!  

konakat--I'm glad you got a visit in with your BF.  I'm sure phone calls are nowhere near as good as actually see him.  Too bad effexor withdrawal made the trip back more stressful than necessary. It sounds like you're New Year is going to start out with something less than a bang.  It's so hard in the treatment phase, you don't have any control over your own life anymore.  I remember feeling like the radiation center staff thought they owned my body and my sole purpose in life was to make sure my left boob was in their waiting room whenever they wanted it there.  Does your doc know you don't really want a port?  Did your doc discuss any options?  I go through my yearly torture of mammogram, poke & prod the remaining boob sessions, shots and pills sessions all in the first week of January every year.  I use more xanax in that one week then I usually use in a month. If you don't have a prescription for something like that you might want to talk to your doc about getting something.  

All this stuff takes a lot of the fun out of the holiday season, doesn't it?   

Unfortunately my veins are fried -- I refer to myself as a chemo junkie ho (no offense meant to junkies and/or ho's) -- I have been getting IV chemo (and/or herceptin) at least every 3rd week for over 2.5 years. No break.  Jan will be my 14th straight month of chemo (taxol then gemzar).  Ugh.  I'm thrilled if it only takes 2 sticks to get an IV started (my record is 5 tries), or only 3 times to draw some blood for my labs.

I've resisted getting a port for over a year, now I gotta.  I'm worried about infection from the on-going, endless chemo.  I'm a big baby, I admit it!  I know my onc wouldn't have me do it if it wasn't safe, I'm just being paranoid...  He knows how I feel.  I could get a Picc line put in but it would only postpone the inevitable.  It would drive me nuts too -- and my cat would probably think it is a new cat toy and attack it in my sleep.

Now that Effexor and chocolate cheesecake are coursing through my veins I feel a bit better.  The combo of a wicked cold, holidays, port, b/f withdrawal are the ingredients for a massive self-pity party. 

Haha Barbe -- by "bang" do you mean excitement in general or that I got "banged" in Boston?  hehehe.  I'm kinda lonely without a permanent fixture of a male in my life.  Yeah, sucky attitude.  Gotta concentrate on friends who would like to get rid of their hubbies or wish they were single...But when you feel like hell, it would be nice to have someone around.... <- more whiny self-pity.

Yeah -- it does seem that we don't own our bodies anymore -- we have a new "normal".  Sigh...

Yah, I know -- some women here are putting up with jerks.  I want one of the nice hubbies/partners!  I'm tired of doing everything myself -- my apt is a mess, I unpacked boxes and have nothing to store my crap in!  I'm gonna start tossing stuff out, I can't stand the mess.

I'm thinking of cancelling my port placement on Tues -- screw 'em for now -- the nurses can keep digging around for a vein.  Ports freak me out. I have a cold, didn't get a neupogin shot with my chemo, I'm scared I'll get an infection and that will be that!  I've emailed my sister about it, I'm gonna ask on the stage iv board about cancelling, if I'm being a paranoid idiot or not...

I was diagnosed the Monday before Christmas.  I never got to finish my last minute Christmas shopping and I forgot to send out my Christmas cards.  Then my Christmas was a nightmare.  My family stared at me all day and want to talk about my diagnosis which always ended with me and my mother in tears.   It has been over a week now, but I still cry every day.  I know that it will only get worst and I just want to wake up from this nightmare.

 The Holidays suck! 

Thanks NativeMainer.  My biopsy was negative, so they did a lumpectomy for the mass and took a duct.  During my surgery follow up I found out that the pathology report came back as cancer.  I eventually have to go back for them to take out "the margins" but in the meantime I have a bunch of testing scheduled for 2010.  The hardest part is that all three doctors (OB/GYN, radiologist, breast surgeon) told me not to worry and that they were 99% sure that it was a non-cancerous papoloma due to my age, 28.  I was totally unprepared and taken off guard.  It still feels unreal.