Does anyone besides me hate the holidays?

Sierra

Well, I am not too keen on this time of year

due to the commercialism, so much of it

I have 2 parents in a Nursing Home this

year and will visit with them.  This really makes it sad

but it also makes me happy to go and visit and help out

when possible

Also, I am very blessed to be here

coming up to 10 yrs, so try to focus more on this

I used to get SADS and so by the time Xmas was here

was worse

Volunteering is a good thing to do, and if

any are church goers here, they often have

a Blue Christmas service

It is difficult when one does not have

funds, and I am trying to cut back

o/t  Is someone here from Ottawa,

I am hearing such good things about Ottawa

and how nice it is to visit?  Let me know plse

tks

and any recommendations for a B and B?

not at Xmas though

Hugs, Sierra

desdemona222b

I think having a place to express our Holiday non-cheer will help us all.  I feel pressure to fake it and stay cheerful during the holidays, but I often fail to do that and just get into a bah humbug mode.  People dislike that, so we can just vent here.

I had wonderful Christmases when I was a little girl and those memories are partly what gets me depressed because it's not the same.  Most of those people are gone now.  I've had some really bad Christmases as an adult.  I guess all of us have.  Lots of people have had terrible Christmases during their childhood, so in a sense I'm lucky.  But the nice Christmases set up a standard, don't they?

I'm very sad for the families for some of our sisters who have recently passed away and for those sisters who are incredibly ill right now.

cmfr1

dear BinVA ....      i'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one who hates it because I can't afford it. I'm always ashamed to admit that but people don't understand how expensive it is to be sick. When it's here I'll be happy to have the family all with me but it takes an unbelievable toll on you physically and mentally. That's hard to explain to someone who's never been there.

Lena

Yes!! I hate the holidays too, always have! BAH HUMBUG!

~Lena. 

chrisct

I have mixed feelings about the holidays.  I am not a good hostess, my house is small, and I am a terrible cook, so I get really stressed out about family wanting me to host family gatherings.  And gift-giving stresses me out as well.  I never know what to get anyone.  I am not observant enough to notice what might be a good gift idea and if I do think of something, I never remember what it was come gift-giving time.  And some people I should buy for have everything they need and if there is something they could use, it is usually expensive and I can't afford to get it for them.

On a lighter note, if you are in the mood for a laugh, The Big Bang Theory had a couple of episodes where Sheldon shares his thoughts on gift-giving and I totally identify with him.  Here are a couple of clips I found on YouTube.  In one, Sheldon shares his feelings about gift-giving as it relates to his needing to get a birthday present.  The other one is from a show relating to Christmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8ghizM7Dto&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G3KItej-Ms&NR=1

joanneasiata

Well you ladies have said it for me  I HATE CHRISTMAS AS WELL NOT FOR ANY PACIFIC REASON , I FIND AT THE END OF THE YEAR I'M TIRED AND THEN COMES CHRISTMAS, AND A LOT OF WORK ,AND PRESSURE TO FIND EXTRA MONEY AND THIS YEAR THERE IS NONE OF THAT ,AND THE HORRIBLE SHOPS  WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THERE EITHERE , AND THEIR IN A BAD MOOD LIKE EVERYONE. ITS JUST NOT A GOOD MIX .

WELL I'M HAVING CHEMO THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS,, SOO ,I MIGHT PULL OUT MY CHEMO CARD AND USE IT TO GET OUT OF GOING TO THE BIG FAMILY THING, I DO LOVE MY FAMILY AND WE ALL GET ON JUST FINE BUT REALLY THIS YEAR I JUST DON'T WANT IT .

JOANNE

mumito

when the kids were young it was fun but now I don't enjoy it anymore.I hate trying to find gifts for adults.Even decorating the house is just a chore now.The only part I do enjoy is our xmas family dinner.Even that can be a hassel about which night everyone can make it.

konakat

My best Christmas was about 8 years ago.  My ex and I were flying to Australia and by crossing the date line we only experienced about 2 hours of Dec 25.  Whoosh -- it was gone!  That was nice.  This Dec 25 I will be in the car driving from Canada to Boston -- escaping to someone who hates the holidays as much as I do.  I do get a bit of a break not being a Mom -- none of those obligations for decorating, cooking, etc.  I've never done that. 

In a way the holidays are a bit worse in the US than Canada, IMHO.  In Canada we have Thanksgiving way back in Oct so there isn't that big build-up from American Thanksgiving to Christmas, with Black Friday shopping to kick it off.  It isn't a month of heavy holiday anticipation, only the decorations and commercials on TV to irritate you until the big day.  I've noticed the difference having experienced the holidays in both countries. 

glostagirl

Mine and hubby's family cut back on presents a few years ago, we only buy for the children. That has lifted a huge amount of stress and eliminated lots of useless gifts, ha-ha.

I try to do all my shopping in my own downtown, no more malls for me!  It is so much more relaxing and festive.  Especially when, after shopping, you can pop into your local coffee shop or pub for a little refreshment!

Although it hasn't been easy, I've come to terms with being an agnostic at Christmas time.  For some reason I do love to decorate my home for Christmas.  Perhaps because I've learned that the tradition of lights, christmas tress, holly etc...don't originate with christianity but with pagan beliefs, I don't feel like a hypocrite.  Works for me.  

I love using fresh greens and berries I've collected outdoors.  For me it's an excuse to go out foraging and to get creative with what I find.  And the smells of all the fresh foliage is wonderful.

Just another outlook that has helped me find a little joy in the season, that for me, doesn't have religious meaning.   

imadeitthrutherain

I understand completely. This time of year marks the most stressful memories from childhood till now. When I leave work it is dark and I can barely get out of the parking lot before crying. This time of year brings back my diagnosis, my final treatment and the last time I saw my oldest sister alive. She died accidentally and I am still here. Her life was full and vibrant and my life is empty and small. I start putting up decorations only to take them down the next day. Today I have no good advice for you...maybe tomorrow

imadeitthrutherain

I feel like you read  my mind. Everyone tries x-tra hard to get me things to brighten my mood it only makes me feel worse, I can not afford a lot

kmccraw423

Coreen - your last sentence was familiar.  I live with my sister because I was laid off and could not find work in this economy.  Each time someone dies ( a young mother, a beloved grandmother, a child) I think, I have nothing, no husband, no children, hence no grandchildren - why did the Good Lord take them and not me?  My family is drowning in depression - we all seem to be on antidepressants but I try to look forward  to the young children in our family and see Christmas through their eyes.

As for gift giving - we don't do it anymore and even if we did I don't have any money to spare - certainly not for people who have too much.  Even if I had the money - its seems so decadent to buy for people who have so much instead of people who have so little.

A few years ago I went with my cousin, his wife and young son to see the lighting of the White House christmas tree (something I normally would never do).  It was bitter cold.  There was no place nearby to park (getting from the parking to the lighting area was an outing in and of itself.  My cousin's son (Ethan) with in love with Thomas the train.  There was a large train with lots of cars behind a picket fence running around the tree. That's when I noticed that Ethan had one leg up and ready to climb that fence to get to the train.  Its hard to explain to a four year old that the Secret Service has no sense of humor!

I think we just have to find the things about Christmas we like and only do those things.  I always thought it was too much making that huge dinner anyway.  It took all day and everyone was done in less than 30 minutes.  When I did buy presents I had to start Christmas Eve.  If I started any earlier it seemed that all the gifts I chose would be perfect for me!

JustmeAlicia

I too hate the F*&%ING holidays.  I wish I could wake up and it is Jan. 2nd.  And sadly I can't stop thinking, could this be my last Christmas?  I am the middle child of 5.  I am stuck with my mother every holiday and have her with me.  My other family goes to their other family and are just plain selfish.  For some reason I thought this Thanksgiving would be different, I thought my brother and his wife who live closest and have kids close to mine would offer to cook.  (they usually go to her family in NJ, her brothers her mom and dad are deceased)  I am having chemo and am not feel all that great to be cooking the whole Thanksgiving feast like I have for the past 20 years.  Well low and behold my brother is off to NJ.  And I am stuck making sure I make a nice dinner for my kids and my MOTHER.  (dh too.)  I would of been happy on the couch in pj's eating freaking KFC.  I next dread Christmas.  The big Italian Christmas Eve at my inlaws, I hope I am crippled by chemo by then so I can lay in the bed and miss the whole ordeal.  And then I usually do my whole family here.... do I HAVE TO????????  So yes girls I am with you I hate the holidays.  I look forward to maybe Valentine's Day when I will finally have received my last chemo.  Thanks for this area to VENT!

Hugs ~

hmm

Alicia,

Have you thought about just telling everyone that you are not up to this?  The Holidays are a lot of work and I think you should be good to yourself as you have your treatments.......by not doing any more than need be and resting when you feel the need. I am sure your mother would understand. As for your husband, children and yourself ..........maybe have a restaurant or your local grocery store prepare your meal. Where I live all our grocery stores offer a totally prepared meal that you just need to pick up. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and try to treat yourself well and I hope your grocery stores offer the same service.

best wishes

Pat

elimar86861

I'm swooping in to count how many little Grinch's we have here.  You are all going on Santa's "lump o' coal" list.  No wait, that is for coal in your stockings...But after getting a lump of cancer in your breast that probably seems like a good deal, no?  Cheer up, the perfect holidays don't even exist.  Dysfunctional is the new functional, and I've cried at as many holidays as I've laughed.  You know, you can avoid most crappy U.S. holidays by leaving the country.  That might sound glib, and may not be practical, but I had a fabulous Thanksgiving in Mexico one year.  So long Aunt Betty's dried out stuffing, hello margaritas under the palappa.  Swooping out. 

barbe1958

Hey, you can say you can't be around strange germs while undergoing chemo!

elimar86861

I tried calling my relatives Strange Germs once, they didn't like it.  Sorry, fit of lameness.

hmm

ALSO.................. "let me check with my Dr. about this"  is always a great way to respond to anything we are not really wanting to do. Then one can always very graciously say " I would love to too but my Dr. said not to".

P.S. Unless your Dr has specifically told you that you should cook I think it is safe to assume that you SHOULD NOT................... else he /she would have mentioned it. Right?????

konakat

Elimar -- I like your sense of humour!!

JustmeAlicia

Elimar you have me cracking up.... bye bye Aunt Betty's dried out stuffing.  LOL  I have a whole bunch of "Strange Germs". 

Hmmmm.  I like that "let me check with my Dr."  I will be sure to use that one...

Eagerly awaiting my lump of coal... what's another lump ! 

desdemona222b

Elimar is quite the wit, I agree.

Justme -

I agree that this is the year to stand up for yourself as far as doing the holiday cooking is concerned.  I know how you feel about the kids, but I'm not ashamed to say I've "gone on strike" a couple of Christmases and Thanksgivings and they don't seem to be damaged by that.  I simply said I was not up to cooking a huge dinner and they understood. 

desdemona222b

Elimar, just about now I feel the stongest urge to just charge a one-way flight to Paris and running away from home for good!

JustmeAlicia

Desdemona ~ don't go without ME !!! 

Bren-2007

Me too Des .. only instead of Paris, I'm ready to put my dogs in the truck and head west .. back to So. Utah and wide open spaces! 

Hugs,

Bren

elimar86861

Well, if you encourage me like that, I'm bound to do another fly-by.  Thanksgiving, well of course I HATE doing a body cavity search on the bird.  You can't pay me enough to touch that gizzard.  Then, again, I LOVE calling my sons Squanto and Pequot for the entire day.  I'm serious.  Those names are hilarious.  (I'm handing down the tradition of holiday-hating to the next generation, and it's all about the tradition, right?)

liztaylor1

Well.  It certainly is refreshing to have a safe place to vent about this stuff.  Holidays are way over-rated.   We have a far from perfect family situation  - so, here's what I did: scheduled my hysterectomy for December 22.  Now, that's avoiding the whole shebang.  "SORRY.  I'm recovering from SURGERY!!"

I like the one way flight to Paris.  Spent Thanksgiving there one year.  Had pizza.

Love,

Liz

chrisct

LOL!  Squanto and Pequot!

bettysgirl

chime me in as another grinch- i dread the upcoming holidays as well. I have a house that is too crowded and cluttered with grandkids and toys and junk to put up a tree...can we say hang it from the ceiling??? I don't want the hassel of having to fight with the kids to not touh it and i just hate all the stress of putting up a tree and decorating only to take it down in a few weeks...The mood swings with meno and tamox make me crazy when the "family"gets together. My parents are both gone, so things are different. we had quite the not so fun upbringing where Christmas is concerned...It has just become a holiday of stress and trying to find the just so right gift and i stink at gifts.....last yr while on chemo i got a bit of a bye....i am afriad this yr i won't get it...SIGH

konakat

I gave myself an ooph for Christmas last year -- scheduled right between Xmas and New Years.  It ft my mood perfectly.

sheila888

I used the excuse of being crowded places, where the children had colds. It wasn't Christmas time either. If I didn't want to go to a baby shower or an anniversary ,I used my oncologist saying doesn't want me in places where germs are brewing. I did it for 18 months because was on Herceptin. If you think about it .....I don't call that lying just easier way to get out without being questioned.    hahaha