Does anyone besides me hate the holidays?

I did get some gifts wrapped yesterday - what I thought was a pretty snowman paper.  Dang it, this morning they were all unwrapped, due to the fact that the scotch tape doesn't stick to it.   Not cheap scotch tape, but the real Scotch Brand.   Now I have to redo them all with ribbons or maybe Duct Tape... lol !!    `

I have mixed feelings about the holidays. My childhood memories were mostly good, until the years after my Dad died, and they were pretty special when my kids were young. I hate the commercialization of christmas, and try to hold onto the spirit of what it really means, but its hard. Putting up the tree, decorating, shopping for just the right gifts, and then wrapping them all just seems like one endless CHORE after another. When the kids were younger, the holidays were a rat race, office xmas parties, school parties, traveling to relatives homes, church...now, we don't do any of that. We are home, no one invites us anywhere, and for the past 2 years, my son & his family aren't able to be here with us. He is in the Navy, and although he does get leave, unless my husband foots the entire bill for them to come home, they aren't able to. Its just not the same without all my kids here together. At times throughout these years, I have thought, gee, maybe this might be your last Christmas, but actually not really believing that. This year however, it actually seems true. I have been getting weekly tx of Taxotere for the past 2 months, and so far it isn't doing anything to shrink all the many tumors everywhere. I have impending kidney surgery right after the holidays...boy, can't wait for that either.Even as sick as I am now, I have still had to do it all - pay the bills, decorate, shopping, wrapping, shipping, cooking, cleaning, and all this on the 2-3 days a week I might be able to get out of bed. With the money we spend on everyone (kids, grandkids), and we give to them ALL year long...we could go on a very nice vacation for weeks, but No, that would be selfish!

Wrapping tips for KLee

KLee--I hear you about the chores of shopping, wrapping, decorating, etc.  All that time, work, and energy put out for a few minutes on Christmas day.  I'd much rather just have a nice dinner and visit with the family and skip the whole present thing. 

Sharon--I think I'm going to use duct tape for my wrapping this year!  I've got a roll of pink duct tape that will work just fine!   

Konakat-thought you were spending the holidays with George.

HA!

Here's your Christmas present Barbe...remember who loves you LOL

I've always like fruitcake, never could understand the to do about it.  If it gets too dry I just dunk it into some rum or such--yum!

I was going to post something gloomy about holidays, but you guys are making me laugh too much.  Anyway, mostly my holidays are happy, because we spend a good bit of the time with my dh's family.  I love being around my MIL, my BIL and his family, and my stepson and daughter-in-law with our granddaughter. No one is snarky or self-centered -- everyone is friendly and polite, regardless of the baggage they're carrying around the rest of the time.

Okay... There was always so much tension and hostility in my own family's household that I dreaded going there for the holidays. For more than a decade, I had to wait until the very last minute to lock in my travel plans, even though I lived nearly 1,300 miles away and had just 20 days of vacation per year.  That was because there was someone else in the family whose planning and scheduling priorities always seemed to trump mine.  So things got stressful a month ahead of time as I would watch those airfares climb but could not make reservations yet... 

Once I arrived, everything revolved around one particular person, whose happiness or unhappiness governed everything that the rest of us did and how we were supposed to feel.  If she was unhappy, I was not being sympathetic enough.  If she felt hurt, it was likely my fault.  If she was mad at another relative for something that was said or done many years ago, we would not visit that relative over the holidays.  If she had decided we were not exchanging gifts that year, I was scolded if I brought a small gift for everyone.  And, if I "left the scene" during an argument (thus avoiding saying something I would regret), I was pursued to the other end of the house, and even beyond a closed door, to be reprimanded for running out on the argument.

This went on until I finally sought professional help.  I was advised to come up with an escape strategy; and to leave the house, for hours if necessary, until things calmed down.  Things never calmed down, of course -- I would be met at the door by angry family members when I returned.  But, at least the escape strategy gave me a sense of empowerment.  I did not have to sit there and be badgered, or join in the hostility.  Once dh and I started driving to those gatherings instead of flying, my situation got even better; because we could bail out completely by packing up the car and leaving ... or just threatening to do that. Talk about empowerment!

Thanks for the laughs. I no longer hate the holidays, but they are still stressful.  It's better for me if I start picking out gifts months ahead of time, and wrapping them early.  It gets me in a cheerful, generous mood well ahead of time.  Sometimes I can hold onto that mood through the whole holiday period.

otter 

When my DH was alive we had a code word when it was time to "escape".    I have used things like " I forgot my pills and have to get home so I can take them".   No one can argue with that.  If I had a pet, I could say it is time to take Muffy or Fluffy for his/her walk, but I only have dust bunnies...

I enjoy the sense of humor thrown in on this thread.   Have a great weekend.   As of noon, we had 14 inches of snow and no one in their right mind is out and about.   Hugs, Nancy