Does anyone besides me hate the holidays?

I hate Christmas .. cause we're so broke.  It's depressing.  I was grousing about having to put all the Xmas stuff up again.  My DH said to just skip it.  Yay!  I do mail my son and grands gifts though.  If my son and his family lived close by, I'd have to do it up big for them. 

I don't need counseling .. I need to win the lottery!

Hugs,

Bren

Barbe

Sometimes I read what you have said and think.....Could there really be other me on the other side of the world?

I am really looking forward (not) to spending the day with all the relatives that have decided the best way to deal with my BC was to ignore it.  That includes my parents to a degree , my only sister and all my cousins etc. Not one of them have actually really acknowledged it, so had no contact, cards or anything.    Am seriously thinking that I won't go and have a quiet one at home with DH and kids

Humongos Hugs

Viv

http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm

Oh, my, ladies--I do dread the whole Hoiday season thing, but I don't have any where near the cause the rest of you do.  I don't like all the obligatory parties, listening to people discuss their family Christmas plans and shopping.  I really don't like the huge family get-togethers were all the teens bring a different boy/girl-friend every year and I have to make like these freaks with studs and tattoos and tattered clothing and smelling of tobacco and alcohol are beloved family members. Or listening to my mother complain about everything my aunts do and say.  I know things change with time, but ever since dad died all the little family routines that meant so much to me have disappeared.  Everything I do with my mother has to be scheduled around her partner's kid's schedules because they have "little kids" (the youngest is 11 now).  Thanksgiving dinner now means eating with a bunch of people I've only met once or twice (his kids/grandkids) and don't know.  The whole bc thing left me with huge bills and forced me to take on a job that pays just over half what I was making, so shopping for presents is a struggle.  Claustrophobia makes Christmas shopping even worse.  For a while I played with the idea of having my reconstruction surgery done during semester break (I teach), and since I'm having it done out of state that would mess up everyone else's Christmas plans, but I'd never hear the end of that if I did.  It's still a nice little daydream, though. . .

I hate Christmas.  I haven't been for Christmas dinner at Mom's for over 15 years.  I do the laundry instead.  The expectations to be happy.  Families pretending to be happy.  So fake.  And I've always thought all the presents, glistening store fronts are a slap in the face to the unfortunate people of our society.  Makes me sad to see people panhandling outside the stores.  Homeless people.  Unwanted people.  Just plain sad people.  It's a hard time of year for so many.  Blech!  I have a turkey dinner at a neighbourhood diner some time during the week since I like the food but that's it.

OH! They found you eh? ehhehehehehhe

I have a friend who feels very much like you all do. Last year she decided to use her time constructively and spent the day working in the local shelter for homeless people, helping to serve them their Xmas lunch.She found it a very worthwhile thing to do and plans on doing the same again this year. Just a thought for those of you who might like to consider doing the same (health permitting of course!)

Hi-as of Nov. 9th my psychiatrist (after listening to me) said, "I think you are depressed." (I suffer from depression & it is somewhat controlled w/ meds) BUT, all I could think about was, "Oh No, I can't be depressed; the holidays are coming and I have to be able to handle being around my family." Then I remembered I was REALLY depressed last year at this time. The good news is I have my psychiatrist around this year.

I'm doing something different this year. I'm adopting a needy family this year. My family of origin have alot of material things. So, we'll see how it goes. A perfect time to post this thread. And I too like the christmas lights. Take care.

I have not done a christmas tree for 6 years, since my DH died.  I spent 2 Christmas' in Vegas and all the glitter and lights, which are "normal",  were easier to take than being around an overwhelming barrage of sights and sounds pretending to represent the meaning of Christmas.  Not to get religious, but that is what it is about, for me.   I enjoy the lights and displays, but where does one go to "escape"?   My apartment - no tree, but I did put up some evergreen along my patio railing, more to hide the bareness than actual decoration.  I pasted the (few) cards I got on the kitchen island counter.   

The music makes me cry, not sure exactly why, but my son gets embarrassed,  Imagine being in the beautiful National Cathedral with its magnificent pipe organ - tv cameras and me bawling my eyes out.   I am more of less forced into being part of the extended family of my son and his wife.  I "had" to figure out what to get all the them for gifts and none of them really needed anything.   I would have preferred to skip the gift part altogether as I need or want nothing or very little.   

I have adopted needy families, given $$ to charitable agencies, but I tell no one.  It is MY personal way and I do not need confirmation that it is the intent to give and share.   I cannot go anywhere without some kind of commercial display to tell me the holidays are coming.  

When I worked retail, I got so sick of the holidays that by Thanksgiving I was ready to sign up for a trip to outer space to escape.   If I choose to identify or participate, that is ok, but I hate being forced into it.   I have some seasonal blouses and I do make some holiday crafts to give away to friends.   On the craft thread, I mentioned I might make a snow flake tree this year - but that may not be an appropriate "holiday" display for some... and you know,  who cares???  

My deepest sympathy, dear nessie -- I lost my DH in 2003 and I know, I understand.   Hugs for all,   Nancy 

Nessie - I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you find the true spirit of Christmas this year.

For me, Christmas is a childhood of remembering going to see the lights in the city, visiting the Mormon Visitors Center next to the Tabernacle.  Each ward in that church region decorates a Christmas tree, films are run about the birth of Christ, each night a different ward entertains the visitors, members loaning unusual nativity sets for display, and every tree, bush and more are decorated with thousands of lights with a live manger scene.  It is the year my best friend and I went to the national cathedral.  It is my grandmother cooking and baking and the sweet smells of home.  Sure there were disapointments, family squabbles and spending more money than I had.  But I chose to remember the other times.

Take the parts you like about Christmas and enjoy those and ignore the rest.  It should be a joyous time, the celebration of our Lord Jesus - not the commercial part.  That's just man embellishing something that needs no embellishment.

I pray that each of you find comfort and peace in the season and in your lives.  So many of you have had so many hardships.  I understand the feelings.  I'm sorry.  Love and hugs

Oh Sharon -- that is so kind of you.  Thank-you!!!!  But I must decline -- I'm making a get-away to Boston to see my boyfriend.  But some other time I would be delighted!

Elizabeth

xox

I actually used to have "Christmas is finally over" parties. I hate the commercialization of it all, the obligation of gift giving, the shopping, etc. Have to admit I love the lights - especially if there is snow - but not those stupid blow-up decorations that fill an entire yard. But I DETEST winter (the bone-chilling cold) and being as that Christmas is in December gives me another reason to not like it. My DH & I were hoping to move to a warmer climate but with the economy, my mets dx, house values dropping, etc. it is just not feasible.

I agree the holidays are depressing, but for me it starts early November.  I don't know why.  Maybe I turned a corner and just thought the whole season lost its meaning.  Too commercialized; too many parties with people you work with every day; too fake; too much food and drink.  One year I decided to just use red poinsettias and clear lights because I didn't feel like getting out the tree and decorations.  I thought it was beautiful!  However, the family thought otherwise.  If not for the grandkids and the look in their eyes when they look at the tree all lit up, I would go into hibernation from November 1 through January 2.  Everything that all of you have said is so true. 

For me it's the aloneness.  I have mostly been without someone in my life, so Thanksgiving through Valentines Day is tough.  Thank goodness I have my son.  I just wish I could be more enthusiastic for his sake.  I think he deserves better.

I put lights in the windows and wreaths up on the house.  Tree in the living room.  But being without a partner is depressing - the company party:  SOs invited.  Thanksgiving - SOs invited.  Cristmas Eve, Christmas Day...and of course New Years and V-Day!   (By the way, July 4th is also one that gets me.)  Just have to muddle through again...