Starting chemo January 2009?

Hi Jewels:

Good news today -- MRI is normal   - nothing at all suspicious!!!!   Yippee Yahoo!!

Also good news - my hearing is much better -- over 50% improvement and he expects it will continue to get better.  The constant ringing is aggravating - it is a sign of damage.  The audiologist is optimisic based on the "quality" of the ringing and how my hearing is returning that the noise will lessen.   At any rate, if I do not recover from this point, I am an excellent candidate for help with a hearing aid -- hope I don't have to get there.    Am resting and praying. 

Thanks for all your kind support ...  You are my rock!

Found this recently published article on lymphedema:

http://www.dslrf.org/breastcancer/content.aspL2=3&L3=5&SID=130&CID=1802&PID=20&CATID=0

Stay strong Jewels!! 

Hey---How long does it take for the blood counts to come back fully to normal after chemo? 

Jess, that deserves a big that SUCKS. OMG, I hate this economy, so keeping my fingers crossed for you.  Please let us know.  You know, just not right GD, how can the person who took those kids on the dunes, and has the common sense to have them take off their shoes and wade in the water be worried about her job tonight, I am so upset.

Lisa, hugs to you, I hope you get rid of that infection soon.

I had a follow-up with my surgeon who I haven't seen since my mastectomy.  I questioned him on whether I should be tested to see whether I metabolize Tamoxifen and he said no.  The oncologist said the same thing.  They both said it's because it's the only thing I can take, so I have to take it type of thing.  I asked, well, what if I don't metabolize it, then I will get my ovaries out and the surgeon said he would never surgically induce menopause on a 34 yr old.  He said the risks would be too high, blood clots, heart attack, stroke, osteoporosis.  He said even if my BRCA test comes back positive they wouldn't take my ovaries out until I'm older.  Well, I hope that Tamoxifen is working in the meantime, and I guess I will just have to make sure to get tested regularly to make sure there is nothing going on with ovaries or uterus.

Have a great day Jewels!  Jess, good luck, I hope you can keep your job!  That does suck.

Jess: Prayers and hugs for you.  Nothing is more important than education our young -- it is our future!!   kmmd; I'm with you  - this sucks!     I wish I could decide where my tax dollars go, not some bureaucrat that "knows better".

lisa: sorry you are feeing bad -- from what I've read it subsides each day.  Take care of you.

holtbolt: better yet, let's all fly there and support the efforts in person!!  If only we could --- what a time all us jewels would have!

Jilly: Don't you just wish we could stop worrying about what might not even be an issue?  It is so hard...  Praying your BRCA in negative.   

Thanks again for all your support in my panic of late.. my hearing is coming back more and more every day and today the ringing is less.   

Hey, anybody else feeling "weird" about Breast Cancer Awareness month starting tomorrow?   

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY10Florida?pg=entry&fr_id=19837

My team name is BB Dolls.  Small team but a lot of heart.  I have raised about $400 so far and still trying.   I hope I can complete the walk.  I think it is 3 miles.  I haven't walked much lately, but I am giving it my best shot and will go as far as this old body will take me. 

This month is also my cancerversary.  I think that's what we are calling it.  10/15 is my day of the dreaded phone call.   I know that is going to be a difficult day.  

Thanks KT for the link on lymphedema.  I will check it out. 

Stay strong everyone.

Alo and Brenda--Good luck on your walks!! I'm gonig to try for the Making Strides in Golden Gate Park. I can handle the distance but I'm not sure about the emotions. I'm sponsoring a neighbor doing the sf komen.

Jess--That's TERRIBLE about the job. I thought it was bad in Calif, but I guess it's bad all over. You asked about low blood counts. I think it might take a few months. My WBC is just above normal, but my lymphoctyes are low. I don't know what that means but I'm asking on my next visit.

LadyJane and Lisa--Hope you both feel better soon. Infected boobs sound so painful. But you 2 are such strong ladies, I know you'll be bouncing back soon.

kt--great about the MRI!

Does anyone else having achy sore bodies?  By the end of the day I almost feel like I have a flu. Plus my feet still tingle. I thought for sure that would have gone away by now.

 Went to my youngest's back to school night at the high school. Saw so many people I've hung out with through our multiple children. BUT some people didn't recognize me at first glance. That felt so strange!!

Well, gotta go. These early morning wake ups are so wearing me down.

By the way. Last year the Oct. "breast month" or whatever so HORRIBLE for me. I almost threw up everytime I saw a damn pink ribbon, or a pink waterbottle, or pink pink pink at Target. I think I can handle it better this year. We'll see. I can actually wear my favorite pink shirt again!

Patti - I just read about your infection and emergency surgery.  Oh my gosh!  That's just HORRIBLE!  I hope you are doing OK.  I have been feeling well and have been taking it for granted.  You can do this.  In hind sight, I am so thankful for the treatments I had and that they were available to me, as hard as they were.  It may take a while but you'll get to your finish line.  

Jess - I've read more of your posts and am so sorry for all you are dealing with.  I have certainly been overwrought to the point of not sleeping at various times in my life.  I think my insomnia is probably one of the worst cases I've heard of.  I go to a PS who prescribes Lunesta for sleep and Lexapro for anxiety.  That's the right mix for me and they keep me on an even keel.  She said that she sometimes prescribes Ambien but prefers Lunesta.  She said people seem to have the least drowziness from it and the best sleep results.  

Cancerversary?  Oh my goodness again!  I had forgotten all about that.  Mine was Thursday.  I suppose I am lucky to have been distracted away from that by my recent move, but I really need to celebrate.  I'm going to meet with a friend this week.  We'll have to share some sparkling grape juice.  

It's easy for me to forget all about having been sick, but then I can be reckless.  I wonder how much I should restrict myself to prevent lymphedema.  I visted with "the" lymphedema specialist in town, I tink it was last October.  I was having tremendous fluid build up after my lumpectomy.  I went in to be asperated and my regular Dr. was not available but he is her colleague, and is in the same office.  He saw me and told me that what causes lymphedema is unknown and that having pin pricks makes no difference at all and that babying that arm is unneccessary.  He said that some people develop lymphedema and others don't, nobody really knows what causes it, and it can come on years later.  Well, doesn't that make everything easier?  Who knows what the truth is?  Personally, I feel that movement is everything although, being a dancer, I am biased about that.  I try not to overuse if I can help it and I make sure to keep moving and stretching.

When I was studying, in my late teens, I knew a few amazing dancers in their 40s, 50s and 60s who could do just about anything physically.  It really changed my expectations about aging and what is possible.  It's all in the lifestyle.  

Plutz - I was thinking about you.  You must be finishing rads soon.  CONGRATULATIONS!   

I am going to make some eggs and just realized I have no toaster.  I need to get one.

Kitty ended his hunger strike yesterday and came out of the closet.  I feel lucky that my life is simple and that dealing with kitty is my only real responsibility right now, but I hope I can build a family for myself.  The opportunity is there.  I am also so thankful for the support from my mother.  At 41, I had a real need my mommy moment.  How lucky that she was here for me.

It's off to buy a toaster for me.

Have a great weekend Jewels.

Nancy

Hi Ladies - hereditary bc FORCE pioneer needs our votes:

The Jewish Community Hero Award honors those making strides to repair the world, starting in their own communities.    Our very own Sue Friedman, founder of FORCE, has been nominated as a Jewish Hero.  One hero will have a chance to win up to $25,000 in funding for their project.  However, simply making it into the finals will help us raise much needed awareness of hereditary breast and ovarian cancer in this very important community.  Please vote between now and October 8th to help make this happen AND to thank Sue for creating the FORCE community for us and our families.

So, VOTE, forward to a friend, post to your facebook page... help get the word out. You may vote from each email address once per day.

http://www.jewishcommunityheroes.org/nominees/profile/sue-friedman/

Year of the hat--Thank you for your empathy.  It helps!  I am glad your cat finally started eating.  Change can be so hard!

Kt57--I am glad you feel better.

Bkim---Yup, still waiting for more cuts to come this way.  I think I will be okay this year, don't know about next. 

brendafromflorida--I will be thinking of you on the 15th.  My dreded phone call is the 16th.  I am going up north to a place called Mackinac Island.  It is beautiful and I hope to enjoy all of the fall foilage.  Plus it is the last weekend of the Island's season and they traditional close with an Irish festival.  I look forward to the time. 

JillyG--How are you?  How are the tamoxifen ses???  I have been experiencing more hot flashes lately.  Sigh.  usually in a meeting. 

Lisalisa-Hope you are feeling better.

Holt good luck on your walk. 

Hugs to all the JJs....

Nancy:  Glad to hear things are working out for you.  I love your new advatar.  Your hair is coming in nicely.  One of these days I will be brave enough to post a picture of my new hairdo.

My infection is gone but I am still dealing with the open wound.  It has been almost a month since the surgery and it has only gone from 7cm to 5cm.  Seeing wound dr. and PS once a week. Every time they say "come back next week" and I expect they will say the same tomorrow.  At least it is not painful anymore, just uncomfortable.  Having to have my daughter change dressing everyday is getting old.  Good think she only lives in my basement huh?  Guess God knew I was  gonna near her close by before I did.

Aislynn is 6 months old now and a joy to have around.  She definitely keeps my spirits up.

kt57:  Glad to hear your hearing is back and you  are feeling better.  I wonder how long our brains will immediately go to the dark side when we have any physical changes in our bodies or any aches or pains.  Probably for a long time I think.  So many people told me that most lumps are nothing when I was waiting for test results and then guess what it wasn't NOTHING so I think I'll panick everytime something doesn't feel right for a while.

Good luck to those of you walking/running this month.  I hope I will feel capable of participating in one or two of the local events  by next Breast Cancer Awareness month, but not going to happen this month.  I have never been so aware of all the stuff that turns pink during Oct. before and it had a strange effect on me in the beginning.  I was mad that everyone was so AWARE just one month out of the year when I had spent the past eleven months being more aware than I wanted to be.  I have gotten over that and I am now grateful for all the people and companies that put effort into making this month a big fund raising month for bc research.

I see the wound dr. and PS tomorrow and my first visit to the Onco Dr. on Friday since I stopped treatment.  I have a real reluctance to go there.  Not so much that I expect something to be wrong I just do not want to go anywhere need THAT building!!!  You all know the one, the one where all those treatments took place.  I do not want to be reminded.

Still have lingering side effects like achy joints and tingling feet.  So far I have not felt much from the Femara which is great!  Been on it for almost a month now.

Phylllis:  Congradulations on finishing up rads.  I can remember how excited I was that day.  Hope you and DH have a great weekend away and Happy Birthday.

Hugs to all.

Patti

Girls weekend!!!  Nice HoltBolt!  Have a blast!

OK, still needs work, but instead of crying or screaming today decided to make up a song about my horrible ragged curly grey hair sans bangs.

Remember the old song where oh where has my little dog gone?

Where oh where have my old bangs gone?

Oh where oh where can they be? 

They've been way too short and grey for way too long

Oh where oh where have my old bangs gone? 

Yup--NO bangs, but lots of curly grey. In fact, there's a picture of me  outside my classroom door from my school pic last year. My kinders look at and ask, "Is that YOU???" SIgh...

And NOW my eyelashes are falling out again. They came back so thick and lovely. I hope I keep my brows!

Patti--I have the achy body and tingly feet too. Hope that goes away. Glad to hear you're healing and back at work. Hard to take it easy with the little ones, isn't it? Kinder is such a physical job, and I know preschool even more so.

Nancy-glad you found a place for you and kitty. I know what you mean about having mom there. When I saw my mom for the first time since diag etc. this last summer I just cried and cried like a little girl.

Phyllis--HAPPY HAPPY belated birthday. Glad you're celebrating that and the end of rads.

I still don 't feel back to 100%. On Sat morn I am SO TIRED and achy. I go back to that DREADED building Monday for another 2 month follow up. I see a substitute onc and I need to ask about being so tired and achy. I have another 2 month in Dec., then on to 3 months. This is following the bisphosphonate trial protocol I guess.

Lovely fall weekend here. Hiked around a local lake with my son. So glad he's home, although I think he is less so. Although he's happy that we're all going to see Bob Dylan!!!! tomorrow at the Cal Greek Theatre. I'm so excited--haven't seen him in 35 years (wow--dating myself). DS took a philosophy class on Bob Dylan at UCSD, and wer're taking his girlfriend and my dd too.

Hello Jewels,

kmmd:  LOL!  No bangs here either... the rest is coming in nicely.  It's cold here - first snow of the year yesterday!   and there's not enough hair on my head to keep me warm -- so hats, and scarves and wig are still in use.   someday------

Patti, hope the surgery takes care of this and you're on your way back to "normal" soon!   You've been through enough!

BKim: Have a great time at Dylan!  

Celebrated our 26th anniv  this week... we toasted to surviving the last year and moving on to better times!   Mexico in a couple weeks...beach and books and relaxation. 

Visited my son at college this weekend for my birthday weekend,  He baked me a birthday cake - that was a surprize!  Did a little shopping and had a nice dinner, soaked in the hot tub.  A nice break from routine.  

Blood draw tomorrow for bisphosphanate trial.   See my ear doctor on Tuesday.  Then, if nothing else weird happens, I'm good with medical stuff til mid-Nov. 

Take Care Ladies.