Starting chemo January 2009?
Comments
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kt57: thank you, I needed that. DS coming home to support me for a long weekend too. Can't wait.
Sorry for the loss of your friends. Hope you and DH have a great time and it is the start of putting the last year behind you and only good memories ahead of you
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I showered last night and took a good long look. The new boobs are nice I guess. Very round and full, not to much projection. They are just so differnet than what I had naturally. It will take time to get used to them. There are still bandages over the nipple area where she did the incision, so I don't really know about scaring. And of course nipples and tattoos are in the future still.
I am still haveing pain at my sides. Even milking the drains hurts on one side when the suction of the vacume happens as I let go. Not awful bit definately there.
The workmen from FIOS are here not installing a FIOS system for us intead of cable. I hope we like it.
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I am still waiting for my exchange....Sigh.....Muscle is still too swollen.....
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ok, damn it.. I wrote a big long post and went to a previous page and it was deleted...
Anyway... apologies for not addressing each one of you.. but I did spend some time reading back to get the updates...
Renrel.. congrats on the successful exchange!! One more step behind you...
Kathy.. Mexico sounds great!! Have fun!
Jess... so sorry about your DD and the flu! Ugh...
Year ... how is your tat? Does it look good?
I went to my onc follow up and am happy to report that - barring unforeseen circumstances - I don't have to see a doctor or get stuck with a needle until February of 2010!! Woohoo!!! That's NEXT year! lol. I asked her about the h1n1 vaccine and she said she wasn't recommending it to any of her patients.. I sensed some reservations about it in general with her... I don't think I'll get it (maybe) but I think I will have my son get in line for it at school (altho it's not offered around here till November, at least at his school).
I am gearing up to reschedule my reconstruction in late Feb, early March 2010. I know I am going to NOLA for it... now just mustering up the courage and trying to get stronger... I have to have the SGAP procedure..... I've been previously radiated so my options are limited. I actually went to a web seminar where the NOLA surgeon answered questions live, etc.. and I learned alot more.... so I am going to try and move forward....
In the meantime, I've been trying to have a little fun. My girl's weekend was GREAT... we ziplined 150 feet off the ground through the beautiful Fall trees.... it was so much fun I can't tell you... then we proceeded to celebrate our feat with cocktails.... I admit I overindulged a little on that part but I don't regret it in the least.. it was exactly what I needed.... laughing and remembering what it was like to have fun... you know... be my pre-cancer self for a while.... anyway, had a great time.....
That's about it.... still trying to work with this ridiculous (yes, clownish) hair... but I guess I'm grateful it's growing!!!
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Jess, too swollen from the radiation? so sorry to hear that
hotbolt: good to see you. Heres to learving how to have fun again and seeing doctors less.
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Kmmd--Yep, too swollen from rads( pout). I am sort of used to the te( probably shouldn't say that) and I know I will be very happy to have it taken out and replaced with something softer.
Renrel---Tell me more how that new exchange feels.
Holt---I meant to tell you earlier that you have a great smile. Love it!
Y of H. Yeah, how are the tats?
DD is doing much better; she is complaining about having to go to work and school. Normal business!!
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Jess - To the touch they are very nice. Soft and natural. I am getting sharp pains every now and then in the breast and/or arm around the arm pit. Mostly when I lie down or get up, but sometime all I need to do is more wrong. There is some muscle contraction that must set it off. I am not being as careful as I was last time about using my arm. After a year of taking it easy I guess I am tired of it. The drain on one side hurts when I strip it, the suction when I let got is a big ouch. I am iching again under the teriderm, not as bad as last time I think, but it is still driving me nuts. I don't think I will have any problem returning to work next Monday.
hotbolt - Glad you had fun on your weekend. I love the idea of a zip line but my fear of heights and falling kinda makes me shy away.
Yesterday was the first day I left the house since Surgery on Wedsnday. We all went to pick out a pumpkin for a jackolantern. Then we went to a diner for lunch. Then to a halloween party at our community center. My parents left for NY from the party. We were at the party from about 1:30 to 3pm. DH left early to go rake leaves. The party was cup cake decorating and games for the younger set. I hung at the playground with another mom for an hour after the party while our kids played. Then I headed home for a nap. While I slept DS went to play with a friend down the street and carved a jackolantern. When I woke up we all had pizza and watched Bambi. Then I got DS to bed and went to bed myself. Slept will around 4am, listened to a story on my IPOD for an hour and then gave up and got out of bed. Spent the wee hours getting my Itunes program to work and then downloading more content. I find I get less annoyed with having to sleep in my back if I am listening to either new age music or to stories on my IPOD. I hope I don't end up with the wires wrapped around my neck one night.
Today I am home alone for the first time in awhile. I thought the workmen were coming to work on the stairs but it seems DH did not manage to touch base with them. I need to call my PS and ask a few questions. I think there was a mistake on my antibiotic. The instruction from the pharmacy were to take 2 pills twice a day, but that means I run out before my follow up and she said shew as going to prescribe enough to get me through the next procedure as well, to save me a co-pay. I also want to ask about this pain during stripping and the diaperrash under the tecoderm.
Thats if for me for now.
Renrel
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I called my doctor's office about the rash I had under the tecaderm stuff. They got her on speaker phone during surgury and she wanted me to come in and have it taken off. So DH came home mid day and drove me in. While I was there the Tech took out my drains as well. So I am much more comfortable. The day really wore me out though. I had thought that I was sleeping some much because of the pain killers but alot of it seems to just be my bodies need to repair itself after surgury.
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Anyone here just NOW losing a toe nail after taxoterrible? I lost my second toe nail on my left foot....was sort of going that way the whole time and now just out of the blue my right big toe is all white and gooey.....I am so surprised.
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Jess, haven't lost anymore toenails in the last few months, but, they are not growing, fingernails growing, toes nails, don't think they've grown a mm since chemo ended, very weird
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I have been checking in periodically to keep up on what's going on with all of you. I'm sorry to hear of the infections, deaths of friends, illnesses and other problems. I'm very happy to hear of the vacations, healing surgeries, family events and "getting on with life".
It was 1 year ago on Oct 21st that my mother in law died. I was supposed to get my mammogram on the 22nd but cancelled it because of her death. The doctor left a message on my answering machine. My husband wanted to know what was going on because I didn't tell him about feeling the lump. So I had to tell him and burden him with that news right on top of his mother's death. She was buried on Friday Oct 24th.
One week after her death on Oct 28th I had the mammogram. I wasn't concerned because I felt lumps before that were nothing to worry about. I work in a small community hospital. When the doctor asked me if anyone talked to me about my mammogram results I said no. All he said was, where do you want the surgery. I said here (meaning our small hospital). It wasn't until he left that I looked up the mammogram report myself and found it was a category 5 mammogram. Needless to say I was shocked and very upset. To this day I can't forgive the doctor for not taking a few minutes to talk to me about the report. I called him the next day and cried. He apologized and said he was so busy in the OR that's why he didn't take the time to talk to me. What an excuse.
One week after my mother in law's funeral I had the mass removed. There was my husband by my side. Grieving over his mother's death and worrying about my future. I can't believe it is one year since that time already. One of the most tender moments my husband and I shared was when he shaved my head. He put on the shaving cream then he said to me "You better go get my glasses"! I laughed!
I try not to think of what might happen in the future. I do have tenderness under my breast but I try not to think the worst. I want to be cautious but not obsessive. The wife of one of my husband's coworkers is dying of cancer. She is only in her 40's. So now my husband is worried about me. He is a very quiet man and doesn't easily show his emotions. I know he's upset because 2 weeks ago I asked him to put up drywall and shelves in the storage room above the garage and he already completed the project. He usually gives me a hard time about finding all these jobs for him to do but he didn't this time. Our wedding anniversary was Oct 15th and his parents was Oct 19th so he has a lot on his mind lately. I think working on a project for me helped him.
I took off work this Friday and I'm heading to the local casino to celebrate. Wish me luck!!
Sorry this is so long. I needed to get things off my chest and written down. I was going to start a journal but never did. This board was my outlet. Many thanks to all of you.
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Hi Everyone: I have been following along on my iphone which sends me a message when anyone makes a new post, but as I said before I don't get on the computer to respond too often.
I had my surgery to close the hole in my breast on Tuesday of last week. I am recovering quickly. Drain removed on Monday of this week and stiches hopefully will be removed next Monday. PS said we need to make sure it is well mended before removing stiches because of the fact that the breast had been radiated. Well hopefully this is the end of the doctors for me for awhile. Still need to have reduction on the right side as I am now a B cup on one side and a D on the other. Very attactive!!!
Hair is still very short (and no bangs) but it is growing. Had it trimmed up again last night and it actually took almost 20 mintues for her to cut it.
Is anyone else enjoying the process of putting on makeup these days? I just love having my lashes back. Was shocked to hear some of you are losing them AGAIN! I think I will cry if that happens to me. I did not realize how bad I looked a few months back until I have actually been able to get all made up again. I almost like what I see in the mirror these days.
Well hope everyone is well and keeping away from all the flu bugs running around. I am really enjoying the colors of fall here in Maryland. We are turning early this year and it is beautiful. Funny how BC changes your outlook on everything.
Love you all
Patti
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Jess - sorry to hear about your toenail.. I wonder if Biotin would help. I just started taking it ... because I saw LisaLisa's bangs!! and she said that was her secret.. wonder if it would help with nails...? Thanks for the compliment by the way... you are so sweet...especially now when I feel so ugly these days with my clown hair.. lol.
Bev - you sound like you have a good man there.... it is unreal that we are all having year dx anniversaries... time flies when you're having fun, eh? I like a little casino action myself from time to time.. video poker is my game.. good luck!!!
Patti - good deal... no doctors for awhile!! And YES, I think losing eyelashes makes you look sicker than losing hair on your head... I am so grateful to have them back...and to be able to use mascara! I tried to get my oncologist to give me an rx for Latisse? to grow longer eyelashes but she didn't take the bait... told me to ask a dermatologist? I think you need an rx for that right? Anybody try it? And, you are so right about how BC changes your outlook... I don't think the Fall trees have EVER been prettier than this year!!
A couple more days to Halloween and I am very excited... Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays... I love the costumes, the trick or treating, everything about it. I am just finishing up on a John Lennon Sgt Pepper costume for my son... (his choice not mine... he's into the Beatles right now)...pretty elaborate...pretty difficult for me .... but I think it looks great! Carving pumpkins tomorrow! Happy Halloween Jewels!! yay! chocolate!!
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Bev56, good to see you again, your story brought tears to my eyes, cyber hugs to both you and your DH today.
Patti, my makeup isn't taking too long, I'm in the midst of the third round of losing the lashes. My Onc tells me 3 is usually it. I hope so. I have a slight bit of style to my hair, sans bangs, if you look hard with some imagination. Kind of like looking and seeings things in the clouds. Hope you continue to heal well
hotbolt: U of Mich plastic surgery center advertised latisse recently, hear its expensive, wonder if it works on bangs too. This Fall has been beautiful, wonder sometimes if its me just being so happy to be here and see it this year
Hope you all are having a great day. Knowing you all are here sure is keeping me going during these rounds of doctors visits and tests. Going to be a different January this year thank goodness. I think we may all need to do a toast for each other on January 1st even if we're not all at the same place to see it, celebrate opening a new and different year for the January Jewels.
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Hi all
One year--- when I look back I can barely remember some of it--I was just in a fog..... I remember though, so wanting for the year to pass--and now that it has--- well, I am of course worried about all the upcoming tests and dr. appointments.... Intellectually I know that I did everything possible to eradicate this- and had a great prognosis---but every once in a while.........
I learned alot about myself, my life and the people in it--most of it good. I learned a great deal about health care and the politics of breast cancer. Mostly, I learned how lucky my life has been--how many wonderful people are in it, healthy children, healthy spouse, healthy me!!!
I plan on living my life as if this never happened (other than the tests and meds)--I will be compliant---- and also as if it is never coming back, because it is simply not welcome!!
I know many of you are celebrating a year around now as well---- and I greatly appreciate the support and information you have so kindly shared......
be well and healthy!
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Group hug, group hug!!!! I agree with Kmmd- let's have a January toast. I like that idea. Could be a chat room activity????
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You know Jess, I haven't tried the chat rooms, but I sure as heck would do it for this
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Happy Halloween everyone! The one time the bald head might have come in handy. So many costume ideas for that. I thought I might be a Romulan from star trek this year because the hair is about right for that. All I needed was pointy ears and a bit stuff to hide part of my eye brows so they would go at more of an angle. But I did not have time to prep. Maybe I will throw on my pink wig for fun, but now my hair kind of stick out in front where I am growing side burns.
I am recovering from surgury well, other than a horrible rash on my breast and sides from the tape that held the drains and gauze on. I am on steroid and prescription strenth hydrocortizone but it is still ichy, not as bad as last night though.
I need to go do halloween stuff, or nap.
Enjoy the weekend!
Michele
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Renrel: Glad to hear you are recovering quickly. I have my stiches removed tomorrow and hopefully I am done with doctors for a while.
Happy Halloween to all my January Jewels. Coming up on the anniversary of my diagnosis and whenever I think back on this past year I do not know how I would have made it without all of you. Anyone ever have the desire to go back to read all the posts. I may one day just to remember how far we've come.
I am feeling so good lately and trying very hard to not worry. My energy level is up and I don't have to head to bed immediately upon returning from work. I feel like I have my life back and it is wonderful. I feel happy, strong physically, spirtually and mentally. Proud to be a survivor! It is kind of strange that while going through treatment I did not realize how hard it really was. I look back now and wonder how I did it. People always marvelled at my strength, courage, attitude, etc. when I was going through treatment and I always felt "no big deal", but now that I am done I realize it was a BIG deal and I managed to do it as someone said to me once "with Grace". Hope you are all taking the time to congradulate yourselves on being a SURVIVOR in the true meaning of the word. I use to think survivor meant I was still alive, but now I, as all of you do to, know that it means much more. It means we fought and we WON.
Check out the new advatar....Hair is returning.
Love to you all
Patti
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Hair looks good--on the subject of hair--my hair is growing back wildly (and I do mean wildly) curly-- I have about 3 inches- it is a cross between Annie and Shirley Temple--and it was bone straight before..... I haven't cut it, just colored it-- but I was just curious if anyone else is having this strange experience?
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Patti,
I agree-it was a big deal- but in order to get through it we couldn't think of it as a big deal--just keep going, one step in front of the other. I feel a little now like I have some post-traumatic stress---nothing huge, but just like I finally realized how much work I did having surgery, chemo, radiation, going to work, exercising, trying to act like things were normal, keeping relationships going, bringing up my kids---- that was all exhausting BEFORE this, then add this to the mix.
so you are right, we have accomplished something tremendous and I think have every reason to be proud.. as far as I am concerned I am cured..... and I want to try to live my life like this will never come back.....
Congratulations on the year---here's to decades more!
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Patti-
Your avatar is wonderful.
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momand2kids: I am having the same experience. Mine I think is not quite as curly as you have described yours but it is curly and it was stick straight before. It is also a totally different color and my hairdresser and I have agreed that we don't know what to color it is lol!
Jess: Thanks for the compliment. I am still having a really hard time getting use to short hair, I have never had it this short in my life...Lots of people telling me they like it this way and I should keep it. Sure is easy, but I still need a few more bangs to cover the forehead. My DD (the new mom) decided to cut her hair short like mine so I would stop complaining about how short mine w as and it looks really really cute on her. Mine does not look soooooooooooo bad to me now. She is a sweetheart.
Hope all is well with you all. Patti
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Patti, that was sweet of DD to do. I hate that it wasn't a choice. Yes, it no longer looks as bad, but still awkward growing in with no bangs and all too curly. Oh well, at least I don't get stares anymore.
Jess, love your new avatar too
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My hair is very thick now but I think it looks weird. To tall or something. I may just not be used to curly hair. It is not super tight curls but definately curly. I tend to want to wear hats again while I go through this "ackward" period. My nails seem to be a wee bit stronger. Not ripping off a couple of tips a weeks, but not strong. One of my little toe nails is now coming in black, but the big toe nail that looked weird, kind of smoky rather than clear (I thought it might have a fungus but the nurse said no) is almost grown out.
I am about a week and a half out from my recon. The rash is finally feeling better, but I have to go find the steroid pills, I was supposed to take one at lunch but could not find them in my purse so thought they were at home, but now I can't find them here either. I have another couple of days on them. I slept through last night for the first time in ages, but am soooo tired today. And it was my first day back at work, just for a few hours but tought case. I also went to my yoga class at the hospital and she did a restorative class. Just laying quietly in different positions intended to totally relax and open you up. It was nice.
Gotta run, time to pick up DS from after school program.
Michele
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Hello Jewels! I hope everyone had a great Halloween, I know I have eaten way too much of my kids loot already.
Well, one year ago I didn't know I had cancer, did I even know how good I had it??? Tomorrow I am a 1 year survivor. I can't believe this year has even happened, it's crazy! I went back and read the first 45 pages of this thread the other night and I shed quite a few tears for myself and all of you. We are some strong ladies, let me tell you. We've all been thru so much, and I just want to thank you all for getting me through the first 365 days, I appreciate every single one of you.
Have a great night Jewels,
Jill
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Hey Jewels....
I can't exactly remember the day that I got the call... I really don't want to... but I know it was in mid November... like a truck hit me and then I just hit the FF button and threw myself into treatment.... it is unreal that it has been a year..... I sincerely wish I could hit the Powerball this week .. if I did I would send you each an airline ticket and host the biggest reunion bash ever.. somewhere warm, on a beach and we could read our January '09 posts and reflect... eat good food, have a few drinks and toast our super-greatness... !!! Just to meet each of you would be awesome! I am so thankful ... in a mushy way.. for each of you!
I am very happy/nervous today... I have a reconstruction surgery date in New Orleans!!! February 23, 2010, I will get to cross "boobs" off my bucket list !! I'm very excited that I have a plan... and I plan to work out and get crazy strong mentally and physically leading up to that date!!
The fact that I'm having reconstruction in such a cool place... I have never been to... will give me just the right amount of excitement to head off the fear!! Yeah... right!!!! Maybe.. LOL Hope you all had a great Halloween!! Thanksgiving here we come!!
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Holtbolt---Yes!!!! Reconstruction date! That has got to be so cool-go to New Orleans. Funny, I was just talking about going there next year . My nephew goes there all the time and loves it.
I am glad you want to gather us all together. I wish we could all get together. It would be a meaningful and intensely exciting bash of a party! Kmmd mentioned we at least figure out a way to toast January and I though we could try the chat room at some point!!!!!
I've decided to sign up for the bc support retreats Lisalisa has talked about. It would be so cool to meet up with a January Jewell!
Hugs and kisses and a whole much of mush!!!!!!
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btw, I am still waiting the okay to get a new set of boobs-hope i am ready before the new year!
Holt--love the pic of the kitty. we have a new baby hiding under our back porch. A cute calico.
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That is my kitty Sharley. She is a quiet little sweet girl.
I also have her sister... who is a BIG LOUD sweet girl. I have never been to NOLA .. hope I get to see some of it... : what bc support retreats?
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