please help

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2009

    ...and length! hehehehe

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  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 779
    edited July 2009

    Mel, thanks for the update, good luck today Barbe.

    Cathi selfDX is the way to go. I told rads onc about pain in my ribs and bam I go for bone scan and cat scan, lucky me more tests. I go Aug 4 for my ooph, I am looking forward to that.

    Good luck ladies and have a great w/e

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited July 2009

    Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about Fumi's dad...he seemed to have turned the corner with his illness. But once they get up there in age, you just never can tell. I have the same worries about my father.

    AE - what relieving news about UB. Fight on!

    Nettie - I had Taxotere, but not with Herceptin. Tax is a "hair loser" chemo, so hold on to your wigs. One of my chemo drugs (I had Taxotere, Adriamycin, and Cytoxin) caused a change in my taste, but it was the anti-emetics that caused my worse se - constipation. They tend to pump you so full of those so you don't feel sick to your stomach that they cause their own se's. I know they do the Herceptin for a year, but how long do they continue the Tax?

    Cathi, I am so looking forward to just getting away from work and home! If you have to go to PA that week, well, we'll meet another time. But just getting away from my brothers (my sister and I get along fine) is my idea of a good vacation!

    But before I go, I will be having a PET/CT and getting the results. I'm hoping that will really relax me and put me in the BEST spirits.

    Mel, I'm always in awe of people who can do medeical research. The process can be so daunting. I'm sure your friend found a special place held for her.

    Well, today is one of my alternate Fridays off (summer hours). I got a slow start, but I just finished breakfast. Now I'm off to run errands, finish putting a wall cabinet together, and plan dinner for tonight (when I'm off, I'm the cook, lol)

    Have a good Friday, everyone!

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited July 2009

    Mary Ed and I joke about me and DR appointments ever sense BC, and I often say oh how I wish I could just have a "normal DR visit".  I love my GP,  but I think I freak him out now,  I used to have him do my yearly PAPS, but after BC he said he wanted me to start with a GYNO,  so I did, if I tell him anything unusual is going on then yup there I go back to onco or he is ordering test after test.  It is a very small family practice even for this area, thats why I like him so much,  lots of time and bedside manner,  but if I have a runny nose he and the surgeon are ready to cut something off - LOL.  Guess theres no winning in this crazy game either you have Dr's who just blow you off or ones who run tests for the slightest little ache. I am finally ok with the Dr's I have now,  so guess I'll listen to them - SOMETIMES. 

    Well Margo had her nails clipped,  she's mad at me,  she hates going for that and to the Vets,  but she will get over .

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Good morning all...only have a couple of minutes. A friend is coming for lunch.

    Thinking of you Barbe. I hope it's a quick and painless labor!

    So sad about Fumi's dad. Unexpected and I know how close she feels to him.

    Cathi, I decided I had to take my head out of the sand and face reality by taking Aromasin. Join me. Get the x-ray and deal up front with what you have to do. Head in the sand leaves your butt exposed and you still experience the weather. Besides, what fun is a summer of Cathi with when you can't see and hear and your mouth is full of sand??? Hey, thanks for joining me in the naughty club!

    Nancy, Mary...hoping for great test results.

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  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 779
    edited July 2009

    It is a beautiful Saturday Morning here in the Poconos. The sun is actually shining. I wasn't sure what it was, since it has been hiding out soooo much lately.

    I learned thru all of this to just take one day at a time and trust in the drs. I pray for no more cancer!

    Going to soak up my vitamin D while I have my 2nd cup of coffee.

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited July 2009

    Hello all -

    Sending hugs to ((((((((((((((MEL))))))))))))))) & ((((((((((((((((nettie)))))))))))))))))

    Well when it rains in pours here in Jersey - got a call Friday morning my brother went into cardiac arrest (they paddled him twice) and was in the hospital on a ventilator.  UB & I drove up there (about an hour away) and it wasn't pretty.  They were afraid he had some brain damage from lack of oxygen.  I called today and he was breathing on his own and talking!!!  PHEW!!!  Truly a gift from God.   I will go back and see him tomorrow - he might be looking at open heart surgery.He is only 57.   I worry because he is alone and all we have is each other.  It never ends around here..........................

     BTW - UB is doing much better. - thank God.

    Love you all.

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited July 2009

    AE so sorry about your brother,  hoping he can avoid the surgery and i,,proves  everyday,  so glad UB is feeling better. 

    Barbe - check in tell us how you are doing -xoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

    Mary glad you are having so nice weather,  it's HOT-HOT HERE and sunny of coarse,  not a  typical summer  so far this year or normal daily showers are few and far between at least here on the coast anyway inland is having some pretty heavy and daily rain.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2009

    Oh, No Val!!!  But what a blessing that your brother came back and has you. You and your family are receiving a huge chunk of my prayer energy. I am with you, girl.

    Supposed to be a big lightning storm coming, but it won't cool us off. Hot, dry means exceptionally heavy lightning, which means fires in the forests. This is very unusual on our side of the mountains. Should be interesting.

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  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited July 2009

                         

    Thanks to all those who have sent me condolences. As some of you know, my dad passed away this past Friday at 6:32am where I live which makes it Thursday night in the U.S. at the age of 84. He had been admitted to the hospital on the 5th of May and dx'd with colon cancer. He had fell into the critital condition and we had been told that he would not make it another day. Well he did make it. He was such a fighter (that's where my "zillaness" came from) and had been improving to the point where the doctors had eaten their words and been made to believe that he might make it another couple of years. However he left us behind without even giving us the time to say good-bye. This is what I posted on FB and thought I would share with you all. This is my tribute to my dearest Daddy.

                          

    -------------------------------------------------------

    Daddy, you went so quickly. You had finally started eating normal food instead of the fluid on the very night before you left. You had even gone for a short walk in a wheel chair on that day and been looking forward to starting rehab to be able to walk and go home. Only an hour before you were gone, you even talked to the nurse who came to check in on you and you even joked around. Who could have thought that it was going to be the very last time people would see you alive? I am sure that you still don't know why you had to go so I will let you know. Daddy, you really were recovering, recovering to the point where the doctors had eaten their words and told us that you might make it to another couple of years. No doubt about that. So rest assured that you did NOT lose the battle against cancer. Apparently you had developed a blood clot while bedridden in the hospital for the past few months and it caused a sudden heart attack. It was so sudden and you had to leave us at 6:32am on the 24th July before you even knew what was going on. You weren't even given the time to say the last good-bye to us as none of us was able to make it in time. This really sucks but at least you didn't have to suffer and was able to go peacefully without pain. And daddy, don't you think that it must have been NOT like "the last good-bye" but like a "later gator" with that joking look on our faces because that was just the way we had always been?
                     
    Daddy, believe it or not, I had always been a huge daddy girl. You never knew that because there was a looooooong period when we were literally a dysfunctional family. We kept giving each other so much grief and sorrow, and I ended up leaving home and starting my life by myself at the age of 19. But as the time went by, we managed to put it in the past and retrieved our relationship back. For the past 15 years or so, we have done all sort of silly things together and shared laughter. Even after you became a little demented, you always cared for me and greeted me with that big smile on your face every time I came to see you, which I will always treasure for the rest of my life.
                               
    Damn this really hurts. Daddy, this really does. But I know what you loved the most about me so I will try my best to not cry anymore. You loved joking around with me and we would always try to crack up each other with our silly sense of humor. Daddy, I still do think that I have a better sense of humor than you did. Yours sucked big time I'm telling ya!!! You better brush it up before I join you in Heaven. Daddy, it's just that we can't physically see each other for a while but nothing is going to stop us from being a good pair, right? I ain't say good-bye. I ain't tell you to rest in peace either because that's just not what you would do. Instead, I will tell you to enjoy playing with our beloved doggy Riki till I join you. So, later gator my world silliest Daddy. I love you to bits. 
                                     
    Yours always,
    Foo (that's how you had always called me!)

                      

    -------------------------------------------------------

               

    Hugs,

    Fumi

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2009

    ((((((((((((((((((( Fumi ))))))))))))))))))

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  • dkhancock1948
    dkhancock1948 Member Posts: 433
    edited July 2009

    Fumi: What a tribute! My condolences.

    ((((((((((HUGS

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  • hollyann
    hollyann Member Posts: 2,992
    edited July 2009

    Hi ladies,    I don't think I have ever posted on this thread...If i have it has been a LONG time......

    WOw so much going on here..........Gentle hugs to you all...Too much stuff to respond to it all.....

    Livesstrong, So glad your hubby is doing better.........

    Fumi, so sorry to hear.....many gentle hugs coming your way........I PM'd you, sweetie.....

    Barbe how are you today?...... Hope you are feeling better.......Don't scare us like you did yesterday!......I for one have all the gray hair I want!...Please don't give me any more by scaring me...LOL

    ((((((((all in the room)))))

    Sorry so many of us are having such trials and difficulties right now...I pray it gets much better for  all of us......

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited July 2009

    Fumi -  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited July 2009

    (((Fumi)))

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited July 2009

    That was beautiful, Fumi.  Love the pic of your Dad too.  My condolences.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2009

    Fumi, your words well express the love and companionship you had with your Dad. The depth of pain on his passing, is only a mirrored reflection of how much love you shared.

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited July 2009

    {{{{{{Fumi}}}}}}

    That was beautiful. Prayers for you for strength and peace.

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  • Mary22
    Mary22 Member Posts: 779
    edited July 2009

    (((((((FUMI)))))))

    What lovely words you wrote!!!

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited July 2009

    ((((((((((((((((((FUMI))))))))))))))))))  I read your tribute on FB - it is lovely.  You are one special lady.  I am sure your Dad loved you beyond words.

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited July 2009

    ((((((((((((((((((((((FUMI))))))))))))))))))))))))))...oh my, that was so special. I am so very sorry about your daddy! I am a daddy's girl too!! I read that with tears in my eyes...then I saw the sweet, sweet picture of your adorable daddy!! wow...he somewhat reminds me of my own. Hang on to all of those special thoughts and memories...he is there with you always girlfriend! I love you Fumi!!!!

    Judie....what a beautiful post way back about your son. What a gift you now have to have that special piece of him with you. You are such a special, special lady...hugs to you dear friend. Glad to hear the aromasin is going well.  I was on for 8 months...first 2 months were ok...then for me it was down hill. I hope you do better than I did.  I think I am going back to tamox.

    Meg..you are such a special part of our group. Your kindness and soft words are so loving!

    Karen..hooray for the permit!! woohoo! Happy 16th to Portia, glad she had the best b'day ever!! No matter what she may say...she knows deep down, what a wonderful mother you are.

    Mel...so sorry to hear about your ex so. You are so good to him.  What a long day. How is he doing now?. I am sorry to hear about your friend having aids. What a horrible way to pass.  I am glad your friends sister wrote back to you. (((((MEL))))))

    Sheila.....Thelma and Louise...................awesome!! Enjoy!  I need some of that right about now!

    Val...glad to hear UB is doing better. baby steps is right. Sorry to hear about your brother. I agree when it rains it does pour!!

    I know there was more..but i had 3 or 4 pages to catch up on.

    Trip to Orlando was good!  We accomplished a ton!  I cleaned, we shopped, got a new bed, dresser, comforter...and many other things.  Olivia painted and her friend Bre...I helped some. Their place is awesome!!! Very nice home, in a gated community.  I just absolutely love her g/f. I have known her for years.  But spending time together like that, I really, really love her. she is so grown up, well beyond her 18 years!!! She will be a good "mother" to Olvia..lol  We laugh at it..but it 's true.   The weather was HOT down there. I sat in the sun for about 30 min...and got color. Very humid...and with my hot flashes...I did alot of sweating!! I kept thinking of you Cathi...knowing you weren't all that far away!

    Well...I won't go into my troubles right now....but I have so much going on in my head.  As soon as I landed in Orlando...I got word that the girls grandmother (ex-s mom) was dying.  Long story short..she has cancer and it's spread all through her lower organs.  They think it started in her pancrease.  anyhow.  My middle daughter Alise (who hadn't spoken to her since last year) and really had no relationship with them since the divorce 7 years ago. Anyhow...she spent almost 5 days straight seeing her in the hospital.  She even missed 2 days of work.  I know...she probably needs time with her..but in all this...she says things are "FINE" with her dad...whom she hasn't seen in 5 + yrs....and that I need to grow up and not be selfish.  Ladies..it hurts when I see her visiting her so much, and when my mom passed (who she was really close too) she didn't hardly spend time with her.  And to be so critical of me...and then her dad...who is a complete ass...she say's things are fine...after all he did to her.  I just can't take this crap from her.

    sorry...didn't want to go on...but i am fustrated and hurt.  Danni is coming in tonight and going to see her grandmother for the first time in 6 yrs.  They were not good grandparents from the time we split..because their son would tell lies about them and me and they would believe all of it.

    anyhow..that is my life right now.  I think it's time for relocation for me.  Sell my home..and move away...it would be good for my soul!

    any input, positive or negative would be appreciated.

    Love to all of you!!!!

    xoxo

    Lisa

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited July 2009

    Oh Meg..thank you. 

    I know she is doing the right thing with her dying grandmother, I guess it's the way she talks to me..and I know her dad will once again dissapoint her.  It's how he is. I guess she will learn. In the meantime...I will sit back...but not put up with her either.

    I hope they figure this out for you dear Meg.  I know where I am, w/out any female organs left...lol.

    Hormonal imbalance causes so much range of emotions!

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited July 2009

    Oh Lisa- don't fret, people change and grow. I certainly don't know the details or history, and hope you know this comes from the heart (tell me to back off if I am out of line) but...

    The girls are older now, they are more independant and able to do things for themselves (yikes- now what do we do with ourselves?!). This is not about who loves who more. You are all family for them even though you and ex are split, he is still their dad, and her grandparents. Maybe she is trying to get to know the grandmother she never knew.... don't worry too much about it. She needs to do what is right for her. You know she loves you, don't put her into a postition of choosing sides.

    Besides...Now it IS time for you...a little cottage by the ocean.... a little garden, a place just for your crafting....

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited July 2009

    Hi Lisa - xoxoxoxoxoxo once again our lifes mirror each others with DD's and x-husbands,  I completely feel and understand your pain.  Your Alise and My Amanda sound so much alike,  I am praying so hard that my DD has changed a great deal when she arrives here this weekend,  I am excited to see her and have her close, but nervous  at the same time. 

    Amanda all but murdered me when her dad and I split up,  her words were bruital,  and her dad who she always got along with was even placed higher upon his thrown in her eyes.  I think Alise has proably had time to grow up some sense your mom's passing and now your X-MIL's illness, perhaps she has forgiven her.  I know it still hurts just the same.  My X-MIL 9and I am sorry for talking ill of the deceased) was proably one of the most evil ,  unkind people I have ever known in my life (my x-FIL was a saint - LOVED HIM) but my Amanda was right there taking care of her (because none of her drunken/crack head kids would) ubtil she died this past winter.  Amanda was 16  when my mom died (in my house) she was ok but a typical 16 year old.

    Then the EX oh when our kids worship them and we know what A-Holes they really are,  it does tend to Pi$$- you off.  Lisa I know I'm not making any sense,  just wanted you to know I REALLY-REALLY UNDERSTAND,  and I hope that Alise will come to realize VERY SOON, what a wonderful- wonderful mom she has.  just keep being you.

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO DAM DAUGHTERS ANYWAY - LOL

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  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited July 2009

    Lisa - for whats its worth I agree with Cathi & EWB.

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited July 2009

    Lisa, me too!  You are a great Mom!!  She'll figure that out.

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited July 2009

    Lisa, I agree that she will figure out that you are the one who really loves her. My X tried coming back into my son's life when he was 17 through a mutual friend. The friend contacted John and let him know that his 'dad' was wanting some contact but would leave it up to John to decide if he wanted the contact. John agreed on a letter from his 'dad' but when 'dad' showed up at his work (local grocery store) to hand deliver the letter, that pretty much decided things for John. If 'dad' wouldn't keep his end of the bargan to mail the letter, John didn't want anything else to do with him. We read the letter together and it didn't say anything that I hadn't already told John. John didn't reply to the letter and we haven't heard anything from his 'dad' since then. Even though John was 10 when we married and Don was the more important father figure in his life.

    Sheila

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited July 2009

    Hey Lisa woke up this AM thinking of one of the biggest hurtful things my DD in NY did,   when she decided to get married she planned the date right in the middle of my rads,  she wanted Ed and I to come to NY for at least a week,  I explained missing a week of rads was not a good thing to do,  told her how many treatments I had left,  and asked if maybe she could wait about a month,  she went nuts-o on the phone,  again I didn't care about her,  I always put myself first - BLA-BLA-BLA.  Anyway we didn't talk again for a few weeks and then the wedding invitation came - it only had her dads' name on it and Bill's parents names,  and no change in the date. A few days later she called asked if I received it,  weren't they pretty etc,  etc,  then asked if I could help pay for the cake & flowers.  I was floored,  but as Barbe always says I put on my Big girl panties,  didn't say a word about how hurt I was and sent a check for help - but that was their wedding gift also.   Her dad on the other hand,  did not even pay for his own tux,  Amanda payed for it ,  he did nothing except show up and get drunk and had a few choice words about me not being a good mom,  anyway,  theres always that one child who tends to make us crazy and create sadness and tears beyond control.  Amanda has grown-up sense then,  but not to sure how much,  she did just say the other day,  her dad won't miss her at all  the only time he comes around is when he NEEDS something,  I didn't ever want the girls to HATE their dad or take sides,  but it did happen  in Amanda's case for quite some time.  I hope now at 27 and a mom herself,  she realizes  how hard it is sometimes to just be MOM. 

    This may sound really bad,  but my secret name for Amanda the past years  - with her crazy mood swings has been PROZAC,  it helped me to laugh a little and not cry so much when she was at her MOUTHY WORST.

    Thinking of you Lisa -XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited July 2009

    Ah, Lisa, I know where you're coming from (as we used to say in the 60's). It used to bother me tremendously, especially since I was there 24/7 and my ex was there about .002%. But I've come to the conclusion that while we know them as assholes, they can have a different relationship with their children. Yes, part of their assholeness will seep through (especially once the children are grown and the relationship shifts to a more adult one), but they will always be the "daddy" their children love. I know even my own father is not without faults.

    I'm sorry your MIL was/is not a nice person. I couldn't have had a better MIL. She really became my mother substitute for the few years she lived after my own mother died. She even refused to meet the Other Woman after my divorce...until my ex tricked her into it.

    As far as Alyse and her grandmother...that again is a totally different relationship dynamic, especially since the old woman is dying. While it may hurt you now, I think Alyse just needs to know more about that side of her family unfiltered through you. One of the things I have no regrets about was letting my ex take the children to see his mother after our divorce. I even once lent him my car to drive to FL to do it. Now visiting his brothers was a different story. Even my ex had no interest in doing that, lol.

    Most of my grandparents were dead before I turned 18, and the one that lived longer was semi-senile. I would loved to have had the chance to really talk with my GPs about their lives as young people. I'm sure there are things they would have told me as an adult that they kept from me as a young child (like my grandmother's arrival from Ireland at age 16...alone, without her parents). Just think of this as Alyse's chance to see them more clearly, as adults. 

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  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited July 2009

    Meg- how are you feeling? Hopefully you will see the doc soon and get this straightened out!

    Lisa- hugs, hope things a better this morning

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