please help
Comments
-
Sue, (((((HUGS)))))), I truly understand. This August will be the 32 anniversary of my mom's death, she was only 29. My dad paased away last Aug. We had not seen him for years.
When my FIL died my MIL did not call me when he was russhed to the hospital. I was the last one called, I actually should have been the first called since her oldest son my hubby was in Iraq and I was the only one who could get him home.
Your stepmom should have given you all the info. She may wanted to protect you w/ all you are going through. Which really is not her place, she should give you the info and let you decide how you want to handle it. Enjoy your nice stiff drink.
Good luck Cathi w/ all the grankids under one roof.
Thanx for the welcome.
Hope evryone had a great w/e. Cathi looks like you had a good w/e.
-
Lisa, awesome news!!!
Sue, I am so sorry to hear bout your father. You should ask the hospital to call you directly. You have every right to kow what is going on with your dad. Please, RANT AWAY!! I will keep you in my prayers.
Towee, that happens to me all the time too! I think I read everything but completely missed a page until after I post! Oh well!
Mary, so sorry to hear your Mom passed away at such a young age.. That must have been terrible for you. Also, thank you for the kind words on parenting.
Special thanks to Shirlann too!! WoW!!! Three sons do close in age. You must be a saint!
Cathi, I have been thinking of you and the girls. I hope everyone is doing well.
Barb, How's MIck???
Love to you all!
-
Mick is hiding...pretending he is gone so they won't go in for him. Don't know where he is now as I can't feel him. Kind of like going to the dentist and your tooth stops hurting. Good old CT scans!
-
Hi all !! I just joined the club, a couple of days ago.
I found all of you ladies are such an inspiration! I've read many of the diagnosis and stories, but I don't seem to find no one with my diagnosis, which is : OCCULT BREAST CARCINOMA.
It's a very rare type of breast cancer, and it would help me so much to able to share my experience with someone with the same diagnosis. Please HELP!
Love and hugs!
Nilda.
-
nil48: Welcome. We are all sorry that you have to be here, but this is a great place to be. I am sorry I haven't heard of your type. I am finding there are so many different types of breast cancer. Someone else will know about this. Debbie
-
Hi Nilda, and unfortunately..welcome. I am sorry, but I am not familiar with your type of bc. Maybe if you start a thread yourself, you may find someone who is. If not..you are welcome to stay here for support and friendship.
(((((((((Sue)))))))))))), I am so sorry about your sweet father. I understand your fustration with Pat, and your wanting your dear mother. Let the conversation from last night pass. Time is too short to hold grudges and anger. What are they telling your dad, prognosis? Love you girl!!!
I read over the posts last night, but was too tired to post. I will not remember everything.
Mel.........SO DARN GLAD TO SEE YOU HERE!!! I love your posts, your soft kind words..everything about you! I am sorry your job is somewhat iffy. The only good thing about it is, that you may get to move back to TN with your family. Your son did good!! Sorry about your friends husband...what an ass!! I could just picture you and your son sitting enjoying a lunch together and the view. So special!! I love you dear..you know that. I still would like to plan another lunch together..just let me know!
Judie...sounds like you have had some heat in your area!! It's been a cool summer here. I am heading to Orlando Florida tomorrow to help Olivia (she is there) get settled in. It's hot, hot and humid there! yuck! I don't do well with humidity! Can you pm me your email addy? I have some pics to post here...and if I send them to you, can you post them for me? I probably won't get around to this until next week, since I will be gone and BUSY!
My bones are still aching. But, I am a ton better than I was on the AI. Meg...I think it was you that asked if I have tried Tamox. I have..I was on for a year, prior to my hysterectomy. It was a little tough at first, the bone and joint pain..but it was tolerable. I am going to wait a little while and let my body rest from those HORRIBLE AI's! Then I will start the tamox.
Girls..I could starve myself and still not lose weight! It's depressing!
Cathi....I hope things are getting better for you and the girls and grandkids and sil. I feel for them...as you know...the abuse, even one time..is very difficult to deal with. I still think of what me and the girls dealt with all the time.
Well..here is my plan to meet Wayne in Rochester NY. Orlando has a direct flight. The plan is to fly on Saturday from Orlando to Rochester. Spend about 3 or 4 hours with him there, and then fly home. It will be a long day...but I am excited to meet him. We both want to see if the feelings we feel and the attraction is the same in person. Until then...........
I know I have forgotten things...hmmmmmmmmmm....Oh yeah....Jane...sorry about your eldest g/f. I think it's so hard as mothers to see our children with someone who just is not good for them! Hopefully your son will see this soon! I just love Danni's guy...he really is awesome..and treats her sooooooooo well! It's about time! haha
ok..back to work..will check in and probably reread again...lol
xoxo
Lisa
-
oh yes almost forgot!! 20 lashings for our miss Judie!! omg...I read that yesterday...and gasped!! bad, bad...but it was a good one!! lol...you little Sh#%! lol
-
Happy Monday all, RIGHT!!!!!! Is Monday ever good.
Lisa GREAT-GREAT news about the scans. Had a relaxing weekend for the most part, just lazed around Saturday and watched Ed do a bunch of outside chores then we went for dinner. Sunday Jaclyn and the kids were over for awhile, she needed to do some shopping so we watched the kiddies so she could do it a lot easier. At 8AM this morning she called me crying her eyes out, she had just dropped the kids off at daycare, I expected to hear they were screaming their heads off, well Brandt anyway, Alexcis is used to pre-K so she was excited to go, but Jaclyn was crying because neither of the kids cried when she left , I/m like well thats a good thing, it's a great little school where Alexcis went before Pre-K, small sized. Brandt has always been home either with Jaclyn or SIL when he got laid off, so it is kind of sad.
I need to get things done here for NY DD, get their room ready and I just don't have the UMPH to do it, well I guess I have about 2 weeks. Alexcis has a bit of a bent nose as they will be using what she has always called "her room", she told Aunt Amanda on the phone ME-MA has a nice porch with a sofa that turns to a bed you can use, it would be the perfect spot as itis like a seperate small little apartment, except there is no A/C and pretty hot this time of year.
Hope everyone has a great day - XOXOXOXOXOXO
-
Just a quick hello. I am off to greet the day. my youngest spent the night a grandmas, so I will run some errands today before I have to get her.
Lisa were the AL's really that bad? After my ooph, I will be changed to AL's. The surgeon said he liked them better than tamoxifen.
-
Mary- everyone reacts so differently its hard to tell. I think it also depends on why you are getting the AI, and a bunch of other stuff. give it a go and see how you do.
-
Hi Mary...
what by the way is an ooph? I have heard the term...but have no idea.
I was on tamox for 1 year. This drug has been around awhile..and works pretty well, per studies.
the Aromatase Inhibitors...AI's....are different. They are for post-menopausal women. They are estrogen blockers. People do react differently. Most of the women on here, that I have conversed with, did not do well with them. I was on Arimidex for 8 months. First 2 months were not too bad..then all hell broke lose. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain..but it was very bad most of the time. I hurt every single day! Joint, bone pain, tired, etc. So, I went off of that, and was put on Aromasin. I was on for 1 month. First 2 weeks...I thought...great..this is a breeze! Well..then it started...pain constantly, and extreme fatigue! I did not want to give it any longer than 1 month, to see if it got better...I couldn't afford to. I have to work everytday, and it was getting very difficult to do just that! My oc wanted me to try Femara...I said...I am done trying. I know when the symptoms are good, it means "it's working"...but I need quality of life..not just estrogen blockers killing me. I will go back to tamoxafin.
Ai's are to block the production of estrogen. I still think I am not producing all that much with my ovaries gone. I know you produce through adrenal glands and fat cells.
Good luck to you.
Lisa
-
Lisa- ooph is oopherectomy which is the surgical procedure that removes the ovaries.
The AIs are blocking or stopping the conversion of androgen to estrogen; this is done mostly in the adrenal glands and some in muscle and fat cells. This estrogen supply is not the highest amount in your system, that comes from the ovaries. This is why AIs are used for post meno women (whether naturally, chemo, medically or surgically induced) to help reduce whatever estrogen conversion is left after the ovaries are turned off. For some (like me) they are giving me lupron to deal with the ovaries and then Femara to deal with the rest.
-
Sue, I don't know if they have the same kind of law in England that we have here, but hospitals in the US, and all healthcare workers, can't give out specific inofrmation about patients' conditions. It's called the HIPPA law. In order to get the information, the patient has to specify, by name, the people who can receive all information. If your name is not on the list, you only get very cursory info like yes, that patient is in the hospital.
So, if a similar law exists in England, be sure your father puts your name down as someone who is allowed to discuss his condition with the doctor, and you'll be able to skirt around Pat.
Cathi, it looks like I will be in your area the end of August. I am planning to accompany my sister as she brings my father down for an indefinite stay. If your schedule allows (with all your company) let's meet up!
-
Nancy that sounds great, we are planning a long weekend sometime in August to fly to Ed's sis's house in PA as of yet don't have definite dates, I will need a vacation by then, probably come back to a turned upside down house but OH WELL.
-
Nancy...that would be great for you to meet up with Cathi!! fun!
We, me you and Val need to plan our day in NYC together...maybe September?
-
Nilda
Occult means hidden. From what I know that means you were diagnosed based on an axillary lymph node but noone can find the primary breast mass - is that correct?
Try this link http://jjco.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/30/4/185
Find a good medical oncologist preferably at a cancer center - get a second opinion or more if you need it. Hang in there! Good luck
-
Hi Sisters one and all X
I just want to tell you I love all of you .... without this thread ... my life would be so much harder.. I love all your opinions your lives and most of all your unconditional support. I am still astounded that we came together and the patches to our lifes quilt were sewn together.
Much love xxxxx
errrrr you are all amazing.. so do not go anywhere ... I want you all to be here forever ! X
-
Sue Lovey, just put that whole conversation out of your mind. This is not easy, but just do it. He was scared, in pain, confused and overwrought. Just don't mention anything to him about HER, or about anything. Just be your sweet self as if the conversation had never taken place.
He needs you honey, he was just panicked. Right now he just needs his little girl.
Love you, sweetie, Shirlann
-
Lisa, I don't have anything on my September calendar! Dad will be with my sister in FL, and Em will be doing her own thing as all college students do, even if they live at home, lol.
Cathi, I'm going to be at my sister's Indian Shores house from 8/22 - 8/29. As of now, I don't think my daughter and I will be making any side trips, but she and I haven't really discussed it yet. I just booked the tickets tonight and she's off for the evening. Let me know if any date in that week works for you.
Geesh, I'm just looking at my clock and it's after 9 already. I only got home about two hours ago, made and served dinner, cleaned up, and got a lilttle computer time in. Now it's bed time already. I have to get up early tomorrow (5 instead of 5:30, lol) to do some housework. My sister is great with my Dad, but she's NOT a diligent housekeeper.
-
Hello ladies, yes I agree with Sue this is a great thread, I am glad I found it.
Have a great Tues and Smile, it will make people wonder what you have been up to!!!! LOL
-
I love that saying Mary. So true! Welcome!!
-
Hello all,
I swear there is no way I can keep up with you all. Some much to read, so little time!
UB is feeling a bit better - he goes tomorrow for his xray & follow up - please pray he will not need a biopsy.
Sue - did you talk to your Dad today? About the phone call - if your relationship with Pat has been good all these years then maybe she was trying to protect you. But at the very least she should have told your Dad she didn't tell you allot. 4 pints of blood is very serious - let your Dad know that it is OK to keep you informed. ((((HUGS))))
Lisa - congrats on the scan results. Good Luck in Rochester!! I'm still hoping to get together with you and Nancy in Sept. - will just have to check UB's chemo schedule - he still needs 2 more.
Cathi - your sure have your hands full - or should I say house full!
Barbe - Mick - come out, come out wherever you are!
Welcome to all the new ladies - I'm sorry you have to be here but you picked a great thread to start your journey on. Stick around.
Hugs to all.
AE
-
for all the newcomers, this is the place to be. You can say things on these boards that many of your family and friends would not understand. These ladie will give you support and even help guide you thru tx and all the ups and downs you may face. I do not know what I would have done w/o this website.
-
Mary - I couldn't agree more.
One of my favorite sayings -
" I'm smiling, that alone should scare you". lol
-
Heading to Orlando Florida to help Olivia get settled. Not too sure about Rochester on Saturday...Wayne said he was in a pretty bad accident on Sunday night, totalled his car..but he is not bad off physically. Maybe another time...maybe not. Off to see sun, have some fun...and a little work.
Love to you all!!
Let's try and plan a get together for whatever works out best for you Val and UB's schedule!
xoxo
Lisa
-
Lisa, good luck in Orlando helping Olivia. .....when the time is right you will meet Wayne. In the meantime, you are free to do as you wish with whomever you wish if you wish.....LOL..
-
Lisa, have a great time with Olivia! Wayne will be there when the time is right.
-
Hi Ladies, Women, Girls...whichever you prefer
I have been following this thread for awhile....is that one word or two? I somehow relate to some of you here. Don't quite understand the reason. Probablly doesn't matter, but I always am analyizing myself. A character flaw? Yes too much thinking. Maybe this should be posted on the I Bitch and Moan Anyway thread, but I decided to post here. Does anyone just get fed up with DEATH and the concept of human or living organism mortality? I don't know if this is some lesson from the universe that I am supposed to learn right now in my life, but I am not dealing very healthily(made up word) with it right now. I have this terrible anxiety about death...anyone I am close too, any creature I am close too, this planet....yadda yadda. I don't know how to get to a place of semi-peaceful acceptance of mortality. Today I hit the stress max....well I decided it was the stress max..and got some beer. I haven't tied one on for six months and hearing the news that my basketball coach from jr high and high school just recently died sent me directly to the beer isle. Not good to do, cause I am on a mission to get smashed today. The visitation is tomorrow at the same funeral home in my small hometown where I last attended my Mom's funeral (BC related death in 2004).
Has anyone here gotten drunk cause they felt they just needed to escape for a day or two? Geesh I feel shame in asking such a question.
I feel... Well isn't that a loaded partial sentence.
-
Cleomoon,
Sounds like you are having some bad times. After a questionable mamo in Feb, I too tied one on and felt great! BUT, it only lasted for a short time. Tie one on if you need to, but then figure out where to go from here. I'm hoping you have friends or family around you that you can talk to. If not find some friends here to talk to. I'm willing to listen.
I hope you are feeling better. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
Linda
-
Cleomoon, I can relate to your fears. My mother has always been a catastrophic thinker and, even though I am mostly able turn my mind away from thinking the worst, I do have horrible thoughts and fears - especially at 2am! I have taken my mother's Valium a few times to get some relief (she's too far away now so I can't get my hands on any!!) and occasionally used alcohol to soothe my troubled breast (no pun intended!).
Lisa - wonderful to hear your scans were clear! Sorry to hear about Wayne's accident but so glad he wasn't hurt. Hope you can meet him soon. Have a great time in Florida with Olivia!
Sue - my heart ached for you when I read about the conversation you had with your Dad. As a parent, I can understand that he did not want to worry you but I think, when things have calmed down a bit, that you should tell him that you really do want to know what is going on with him - always. I also felt so sad for you, missing your sweet Mum - we all feel the need to be able to talk to our mothers and feel their comfort and wisdom - no matter how old we are, but to lose your mother at such a young age...I can only imagine how horrible that would be. Thinking and praying for you and your dad.
Barbe - I hope MJ shows up and can be dealt with very severely, once and for all!
UB & AE - prayers and hugs to you both for a good outcome at the doctors'.
Mary, Linda, Helen, Meg, Debbie, Nancy, Shirlann, Cathi, Elaine, Sheila, Karen and everyone - hugs and love to you all,
Jane xxx
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team