Starting Chemo May 2008

Today is a good day indeed!  I just returned from a 1.7 mile run . . . yes, the PS cleared me to run only 12 days after getting implants!  Although it was a slow run, it felt good to be out on this beautiful day.  The only soreness I had is where my jog bra hits my (yellow & green colored) ribs.  No idea what they did while I was in surgery to basically be bruised from the bottom of my ribs to my armpits. 

Roxi - Hoping that you get the drains out soon!  I did not get drains this time, but I remember that all too well from the mast surgery. 

Kerry - Hope your doing well!  I can soooo relate about the dentist, I cracked and lost a portion of my tooth eating cereal.  Not a serious as what you have going on, but the thought of getting the crown - I just wanted to say, c'mon, you serious?? 

Linda - Thanks for the card, it was a day brightener!

Adrienne - Congrats on the clean bill of health! 

Lots of love RanD (((((hugs)))).

Running out to enjoy this beautiful day - miss you all! 

Jean

OH NO! I hope it is not a major thing roxi. Hope you get to feeling better soon sweetie XX

Roxi - Crrrrrrrrap!  Hope you are feeling better soon - score on the garage sale!

Jeano

A poem for Mary/Roxi:

Drain (infection) Drain (infection)

Go away

Come again

Some other day (preferably a million years from now)

* * * * *

Otter, I love your stories/accounts.  It is 3:43 am here.  The tree frong one in particular was quite soothing.  (Thank you!)

Today was a good day. Small sleep-in, then James (12yo stepson) and I went on a 1 hr road trip to see his grandfather and step-grandmother. Lorna is the doll-maker, and I had bought her a couple of things at the auction-house to make clothes out of. The rules are very strict..natural fabrics only etc etc. I had bought her a heavily pintucked and broderie-trimmed long cotton dress, made in Mexico, a very nice old fur 'shrug' (embroidered silk-lined) and an old lacy cotton christening gown. All for AUD$65. Well, she was beside herself. The christening gown is 150 years old! Apparently these things can be accurately dated. There is enough very decorative fabric in the Mexican voile dress to make about 50 exquisite petticoats for dolls. James very much enjoyed the visit (wasn't too bored) and we had a lot of laughs. Driving was a bit tricky..I cursed the sloshing seroma every time I hit a bumpy bit of road. I'm looking forward to getting the thing drained again on Wednesday. Roxi, C-Rap! about the infection..C-Rap to drains in general, actually. Jeano, you are a machine!!  Rock, exercise (with all the associated resentment, negative self-talk and excuse-making) is a gift. And I say this as the queen of finding reasons not to do any. I've been walking (my BF seroma) every day..about 5 kms and even in our frosty weather it's a brill thing to do. The endorphins drive out the bugsand a feed of all-bran and a pot of tea upon the return tops off the feeling of doing something wonderful for oneself.  Otter, I peed myself again at your frog story. Did he think he was doing the grande tour with you guys?? Not so funny the little bastards trying to hit the bird. I just remembered..I intervened in a similar situation last year..involving plovers. I got all high and mighty and marched myself along to the kids I had been observing (I thought) trying to find and take the chicks. I scared the hell out of them just with my body language. Turns out they were VERY distressed and worried about the possiblity of the chicks being run over beside the incredibly busy road! They asked for my help to save these chicks! I (red-faced) explained that the plovers chose that spot because no humans or dogs ever walked there..too close to the cars rushing along. They were so relieved and grateful. And I felt like a mean old bitch. Later I blamed chemo...XXX to you all. I'm off to turn the electric blanket on..yep, despite the GET BACK!! flashes. Frost here tonight.

Today is a good day as they all have been lately. Our friends are visiting from Maine. Last time we saw them, our sixteen-year-old, Max, was 16 months old. He is Jewish. She is a Sikh. Their three children are an incredibly gorgeous mix of curls and eyelashes and smiles. Last night, when most of us definitely should have been in bed (as our kids are on their last week of school meaning we get up at 5:45), my friend, Dan ,and I were hot tubbing our weary bones. Marty and Dan's wife were hanging out with us but outside of the tub then Max came out to practice his presentation on the Manhattan Project which was due today. It was after 10 and the final, final light of dusk was fading in the western sky. The honeysuckle was pungent and it was cool to think that Max was willing to listen to our tips for him for his presentation for the next day. Everything felt so "normal."

So sorry about the drain infection, Mary. It will go away soon. Jean, cool that you are jogging again so soon after surgery. Hope all sick children heal before travels.

My friend needed a tampon the other day and for the first time in my adult life, I could not help out on that count and I was really okay with that even though I scoured through my home looking in all of  my old hiding places. So funny.

I think I mentioned this before, but I didn't get much response so I will try again (or maybe I just think I might havementioned). Do any of the rest of you have this somewhat desperate desire to "make up" for lost time due to chemo? I am feeling like I "owe" myself and my family twice as much summer this year since chemo kind of wrecked last summer. It's odd, but I feel like I want to have two times the fun. I allow myself too many treats (because I can taste them this year) and too many good indulgences. Anyone else going through this sensation? Just curious. I have a herceptin at the end of the week and then it's down two three or two depending on who wins out (my onc or me) on the last one.

Okay, here is my question for the day....do I go ahead and do that stupid colonoscopy while my port is still in so I can be accessed that way (no IV) and be done with it? Or, do I remove the port (the sooner the better, right?) and blow off the colonoscopy until sometime next winter. Weigh in on this subject women. Ciao.

Randie, Just sent you a little card to say hi but I am saying hi here first.

Okay, I am home now, and I can catch up (maybe).

Roxi, how serious is the infection? I don't think it's too unusual for a drain site to become infected, but it's good that your docs got on it right away. Hope you feel better quickly! Once again, Kerry has provided us with a great new word:  C-RAP!

rock, the next time you are feeling self-conscious because it's noon in Cape Town and you are (still) in your pajamas, just pretend you're really in New York, where it would only be 6 a.m. and pajamas would be perfectly appropriate.

Cristine, your kids still have 6 days to recover from their sore throats and runny noses. At least by next weekend, they'll be in the "convalescent" phase and should be feeling better. I read somewhere that ibuprofen and a decongestant taken early in a cold can reduce the severity and shorten the length of time you feel miserable. As for the baby bird, well, ... let's just say Nature took its course. 

angels, my sister has some bears hanging around where she lives in central Wisconsin. They climb up on the porch and eat the seed out of the birdfeeder, unless they are lazy and just bend the feeder pole to the ground. Scares the stuffing out of me. I'll take the spiders, please.

eddie, your tampon story was funny! I still have 3 or 4 unopened boxes of them in the linen closet. I have no idea what I'll do with them. I guess they're pretty absorbent; maybe dh can use them in his workshop?

As for your port vs. colonoscopy question... the nurse who started my i.v. for my colonoscopy was very, very good.  I had mentioned the mild LE in my left hand/arm, so she put a pink wrist band on that side and told everyone it was "off limits".  When I mentioned how much the veins in my right hand had been used, she looked at them and said she wouldn't have any trouble.  (She didn't.)  She pointed out that the nurses in the colonoscopy unit were used to starting i.v.'s in people who had undergone the GI prep and were very dehydrated.  So I guess it's a toss-up.  They might not want to use your port anyway.  IMHO they should be able to hit your vein with no difficulties.

I know what you mean by trying to catch up for lost time.  I feel like my life was put on "hold" for most of last year, and it has just been re-activated.  I am enjoying things more, I think; but I'm also wanting life around me to slow down.  I am very aware, and much less tolerant, of the "rat race" feeling.  I hate feeling rushed; I don't like to have to hurry to meet someone else's artificial, imaginary deadline.

Kerry, I think I'm less tolerant of stupidity (dh says that's true, anyway); but I'm also quicker with praise.  We stopped at a restaurant on the way home tonight, and our waitress was obviously new.  She tried very hard, and was very professional, friendly, and (when necessary) apologetic; but she was slow.  Gosh, though, I remembered what that felt like; so I insisted on a nice tip instead of the stingy one dh was going to leave her.

Today was a good day ... except I am pretty sure I broke my toe.  It was not an important toe; and it was not an important part of that toe.  Nevertheless, it is swollen and purple; so I'm going to limp in to my PCP tomorrow.  He will look at it; scold me for walking barefoot on a wet, slippery dock; and (most likely) send me home with my broken toe taped to the one beside it.  But, otherwise it was a good day.

Hugs to everybody...

otter 

Oh, Adrienne, now you really have me worried.

Get this:  My broken toe is on my left foot.  It's the toe right next to my big toe!!! 

I have an appt with my PCP this afternoon to get it checked out.  I feel kind of silly...no, really silly, going to a doctor about this, because I don't think he's going to do anything.  My toe is a lovely purple color today, from the base of my toenail to just past (proximal to) the outermost joint of that toe.  I think it's probably broken at the joint, or in that third (outermost) bone.  Ewww--TMI.

Mostly I'm having him take a look at it because dh and I are leaving for our trip to Montana next week.  Of course, we were hoping to do a lot of hiking and fly-fishing, both of which I will probably have to scratch off my "to-do" list because of this stupid toe. Sitting in a lawn chair and reading cheap novels just isn't the same thing when you're in Montana.

I am not blaming Arimidex.  I do not want to think I have already broken a bone because of bone-thinning from that drug. I am doing well on Arimidex.  I don't want to switch to something else; I don't want to take tamoxifen or Evista instead; and I surely do not want to go off all estrogen-blocking drugs and increase my risk of recurrence.

I just had a stupid accident. I was walking barefoot on a wooden dock, which you should never, ever do.  I slipped on a wet spot that was covered with slimy algae.  One foot slid out from under me, and I caught my weight with the toes of my other foot.  And one of the toes on that foot was hyperextended.  A simple, common, traumatic injury.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.  The End.

otter 

Otter and Adrienne - OW.  I broke a toe a few years ago and it hurt like hell.  But...to break the same toe on the same foot as someone I know in the same week, well, that's...frankly, I'm not sure what to call that!!  lol...

Eddie - Yes, I know what you mean about feeling like you "owe" yourself and your family.  The vacation we're taking is the one we had planned for last summer, but I think we're doing a bit more than we would have last year. 

The girls are better, thanks for the good thoughts.  It wasn't as bleak as it looked Sunday night, just some summer colds probably complicated by allergies.  I cannot wait to be on vacation or at least away from work.  I really need a break to refuel.  You know it's bad when you are looking forward to the 6 hour drive through Los Angeles with 2 kids.

Kerry, I would meet you anywhere...I think it would be grand to have the opportunity to meet all of you. And I agree, there are too many people out there that are so ungrateful and inconsiderate and I find myself with very low tolerance for this behavior and typically speak my mind. Much like you did Otter with the baby bird.

Otter, I'm so sorry to hear about your toe. Hopefully it doesn't ruin your trip to Montana.

Angels, your home sounds lovely and peaceful and I wish you much rain this season.

Eddie, I'm the same way, need to get as much done in a day to make up for lost time (to some degree) because I'm also so content with just spending quality time on the couch with the kids. Our relationship has grown so much stronger and I thank God everyday for it. As for the port and your colonoscopy, well if they can do it together you should consider that. I had them take my port at my recon and these last two herceptins have been through my arm...no problem at all.

The infection cleared up on Sunday. Fever broke on Saturday. The doctor took two drains out yesterday. My last one will come out next week Monday. My doc was voted in the top 100 in the US and tried a new procedure on me. He stacked my tissue on top on each rather than face to face. He's so pleased that I'm the topic of his blog. I need to try to find it.

Have a great trip Christine.

Thinking of all my friends wishing you the very best day ever. 

ok...this will be quick. I have been in ICU and critical care for the last 13 days.  Member my panoc attacks?  Turns I was in total system septic shock and thats what was causin it.  I had a small patchof bacteria hidden in my right lung that they only found on a CT scan...I was so bad on the 5th that I could not getout of bed from pain.  The EMT cames and took me and the docs morphed me up and said, kidney infection and discharged me, my husband fuckin screamed at them for a half hour that something was wrong.  It took 6 hours, but they decided I should go to a ward and be watched,  by then I was on 7L of oxygen and sating at 89.  My room nurse argued for 4 hours with the docs that I was going down until she found a doc who took her seriously and rushed me to ICU.  Turns out he took my hisband out and said his wife has my same diagnosis and actually cried with him, then he told him that he needed to bring family members over because I could be gone in 4 hours or less.  The whole time I was so drugged I had no idea how bad I was.  The final result is that it took 12 days of 3 different IV antibiotics and a PIC line to get me home,  what the hell, eh?  there is still more to this, but the reason no one called you was that my husband and mom lived in my room for the last 2 weeks caring for me and I am home.  I thought of you all often and felt your prayers even tho you thought it was just normal right....

LOve you all and wish you coulod all visit and we could have a good cry,, laugh and kick some ass party over this.....

randie

Randie - welcome back and most gentle kisses to you.

Randie!  I just don't know what to say.  This so flipping sucks.  I am, however, grateful that you had people there yelling, kicking, screaming and fighting on your behalf.  What is wrong with the medical community?

I am happy to read that you are now home safe and sound.  Please please please get some rest.  You are in my thoughts always.