What do I tell my potential, new boyfriend?

On a different note, I thought that the lyrics to Carly Simon's song, Scar, might have some meaning to some of us here:

 Scar

A grey day in February
Some flecks of white, but mostly brown
Purple surprises riding in on a nerve
Begins to excite you before it settles down

It's after the knives and the sutures and needles
I'm left with an arrow that points at my heart

I call it the seat of my sentimental sorrow
Gone seems to be one of the sum of my parts

And the night is cold
As the coldest nights are
There's a wise woman
She comes from an evening star
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow your scar

A man I knew once said he wanted to see me
I said I'd been sick but was on the mend
I told him a few of the overall details
He said: That's too bad
And he's never called me again

What a gift in disguise that poor little puppy
So scared of misfortune and always on guard
A big man will love you
Even more when you're hurtin'
And a really big man
Loves a really good scar

Cause the dawn breaks
And it's breaking your heart
There's a wise woman
She sits at the end of the bar
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow your scar

A grey day in February
Some flecks of white, but mostly brown
The world has tilted but
The world has expanded
And the world has turned
My world upside down

Cause the night is warm and all full of stars
There's a wise woman
She's moved right into my heart
She says: Look for the signs
You won't have to look far
Lead with your spirit and follow
Follow
Follow your scar

[English translation of Gaelic:]

Run with the red deer
And sing with the wind
The magic lasts
And meaning will follow
The scar is God given
As a sign for your life
Strength from your ancestors
And through your own mouth
Strength from memory
Like a tree on the wind
Show me your scar
And I will make it better

~Marin

Thanks for your note Kerry.  But, I'm still trying to figure out what the message is.....  I don't think us gals are downers.  We're expressing what we're dealing with and going through.  We, absolutely love men, love being around them,  and have no problem expressing that.  It's very different being in a relationship with someone who has seen you go from boobs to boobless then to fake boobs and someone you're just getting to know. 

Now, we all know that if we are interested in a relationship (boobs/no boobs) you have to be willing to be open.  And that means a positive attitude and hopes for a good outcome.  We know what men like, don't we girls????

Hey Sherry! No no no! I didn't mean we are all 'downers' and gosh! Wouldn't we have a right to be every now and then?? I think we are all strong, beautiful queens who deserve MUCH better than bc!!!  And you're right, it is easier if the man has travelled the road with you, although I have read about some a$$holes who have 'turned'. Much love to y'all!

des - Good to know that there is hope...mangled boob and all!

Susan

Hi Ladies,

I was just looking over bc.org. for advice on dating post recon and really enjoyed the strength and advice I saw.  I met someone 3 months before I was dx, he stayed through mast & recon only to tell me this 11/30 he would be moving out 12/1.  I was initially devastated, now realize he was becoming a negative part of my life and maybe did me a favor by leaving.

Anyway, was feeling scared about trying to date again. Your posts have made me feel more positive and less nervous about this step.  

Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences and sage advice.

Hugs and health to you all,

Brenda

Sherry,

Thanks for sharing.  Put a profile on match.com and was overwhelmed; not sure I'm ready to give someone that much attention just yet so your comment about distance and limited time together rang home.

Hold out for those wishes and may you find them in your hands!  (Have you read The Divine Matrix?)

Best of luck and health to all,

Brenda