Angry rant-I apologize up front

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, Robyn. At times I feel those things too, just not all at the same time!

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope you will feel better.  I just want to give you a BIG hug now, okay?

i hear you too.  i think you should write a book about this! 

 here's what i hate:

"how are you doing?" asked in a sad voice - every day.

"i know so-and-so who had cancer and....," blah blah blah.

"what did they do with your boobs after your double mastectomy?"

"are you sure you won't want to wear a wig when you go bald?"

and from my own mother, "are you sure you don't want to get some fake boobs so people won't think you're a little boy?"

and on and on.

i love a good rant.  thank you. 

I keep trying to be positive but it does get hard.  I can't wait for the day to come when my boob won't be the focus of discussions anymore.  I have to be thankful I have such good friends who make me laugh about everything.  Sometimes they are brutal which is just what I need.

 Time for some wine before I get going on what I hate!

Rant and be angry till you get it all out!  I've bumped the "Be Positive"- Shut Up thread.  You will find that you are definitely not alone in your feelings about that. 

Some days we all need a little help to get through. Seriously consider asking your onc for a prescription like Xanax that you don't have to take every day to help you through the rough patches.  Even just knowing that you have the prescription and can get it filled if you need it may be enough to help you get through the bad days.

I hope that things get better for you soon, and in the meantime, {{gentle hugs}}.

Robyn, we get it.  This whole thing sucks, big time.  Please rant whenever it feels like that might help.

And, please stop thinking you're supposed to be "positive" about getting chemo, or about any other part of this nightmare.  Who made those rules, anyway?  Obviously someone who hasn't gone through it.  Either that, or someone who's pathologically unrealistic.

Maybe this won't help you ... maybe it will.  Sure, they got all the cancer out (that alien thing that had invaded your body).  So, why do chemo?

Think of it like cockroaches.  You can stomp 'em and you can spray 'em, and pretty soon you don't see any anymore.  But, if you were living where I live (Gulf Coast, USA), you just know there could be more of them, hiding where you can't see 'em.  So, one day you bundle up the kids and the hubby and put them in the car to head off for a day at the zoo (or the mall).  Then, you run back in the house and set off a whole bunch of bug bombs.

When you get home 4 or  5 hours later, sure enough--there, strewn about your pristine home, are half a dozen of those sneaky bastards.  They're scattered here and there in the middle of the floor in various rooms of the house.  (Who knew there was one in the guest bedroom, where your MIL slept just last week???)  Now, though, all of 'em are lying on their backs, motionless, with all six feet up in the air ... stone dead.  Gone.

So, think of those alien cancer cells as the cockroaches that you never see.  With chemo you are bug-bombing them into oblivion.  It helped me just to write those paragraphs.

Do you have some old plates you could throw at a concrete wall?  Put on some rock music (I like ZZ Top for some reason) and turn it up real loud, and break a few things.

Big hugs, Robyn.  It truly sucks.

otter 

Hey there Robyn, Its been five long years since my diagnosis..and  when I read your words, I know Ive felt that way.....and somedays still do..I especially cant stand the "think Positive" line..actually had my own sister tell me this summer..."its gone, so why do you worry so much"..I was waiting for PET Scan results.

I too am sending you big, giant hugs!!!

patti

whoops, sorry, it's "cancer rant" not "chemo rant"

I too hate to see you suffer. I still remember how angry I was. I was irrational. I kept telling myself there are people in the world who are worse off. I need to be optimistic. But it did not work for a long time. I needed to rant and rant and rant until I got it all out and realized that I was going nowhere fast with all this anger. I took a lot of angry walks, and eventually, step by step, I started to see life again.  I saw the sun. I felt the fresh air, I had walked my way through treatments and I was ready to move on. I know it seems like this will never happen, but it will. In the meantime, keep letting it out. It is not good to hold it in. One day you will find the anger start to wane, and then you will know that you are beginning to walk a new path. And when you come out of that dark tunnel, into a new day, remember this: "Don't look back, except to learn".

Robyn,

Thanks for my morning chuckle. 

No apologies necessary for your rant!!  It helps me to see that being angry from time to time is something we all do.

Angry elf, where did he come up with that? 

You go, Robyn!  I hate this horrendous beast and its treatments.  Rant away!

I hate all the breast cancer pink stuff too.  It makes bc seem all dainty and feminine.  Well it isn't!

The bc symbols should be black with plasticized hunks of barf and blood in them.

(hoping not to offend)  

I found out on Nov.14th, 2008 that I had breast cancer and I went through surgery on the 18th. I meet with the cancer doctor tomorrow to see what direction I go with next. I am a hairstylist and I have been trying so hard to hide my true feeling so thank you for expressing it for me. I guess I been in shock I still can't believe it.              Sheila

Everyone of us feels or has felt like you in the ranting department.  I am sitting here smiling about the pink thing.  I thought I was the only one that felt like that.  I am grateful to have access to such great women going through such a devastating time, but enough of the pink, I even found it on toilet paper.  The second thing I said to my husband after I found out I had bc was, I will not wear a pink baseball cap.  You made me smile today.  Sandy 

Robyn

I feel the same way about all that pink crap. And I hate it when people say to "be positive" as well. And the funny hting is, I had chemo first, then surgery, then radiation, and tried really hard to "be positive" through all that. Well, NOW I'm more depressed and worried and feel like now that I'm not suffering and/or bald, people forget I even HAVE cancer. People say "It's gone, you need to get on with your life". Hello???? It doesn't go-in fact, now is when I feel more helpless because I'm NOT in chemo, so I feel like I have no power over it. Ok, I'm over my little rant now, too!

Hi i have just joined and i could not agree with you more i have had enough we all no why we have to do it but it does not make it any easier i have 2 more chemo cycles then radiotheraphy for 6 weeks