Rosevalley - this is for you!

Rosevalley

This has been a hard couple of days.. all over aching and pain and puking. I vomited Thursday night dinner, puked all meals on Friday and tonights dinner. Sigh... Loverof life- thank you for the little Sloth hug. I needed that. They are such sweet natured animals. I hope tomorrow is better.

Kjones13

Hey Rose! I've been reading to catch up. So sorry about the puking. Nothing worse (imho). You continue to amaze me with your drive for life...even when it's shitty!!

I thought some sweet otters might bring a smile to your face. Always in my thoughts. Wishing you peace, love, and light.

Rosevalley

Kjones thank you for the otter photo! They are my favorite wild animal. When ever I get to watch them my heart is always lightened and smiling is unavoidable.. they are soo cute and animated. I have been lucky to see them in the wild in Canada and was just charmed. Truly one of my lovely memories.

This chemo is not working. I have thrown up everything. Scrambled eggs, orange juice and boost have all come up. My ascites is down by 200cc only because I can't drink enough. I am tired. I can't do much. I have been wondering and worrying about getting too sick to take my death with dignity meds. Then I will be really screwed. This is fast approaching my level of misery in Dec-Feb. almost a year ago. sigh.. I want to see the election results. I would like to be there for Thanksgiving even if I just sit at the table and watch. But there is also a part of me that wants to be free. Go peacefully. Mr. Percy cat isn't ready to go yet and I was hoping we would kind of go together.. buddies that we are.. life is so complicated. Who would have thought you have to worry about taking your DWD meds and puking them up? Man this sucks.

PattyPeppermint

rose. Hang in here. Youve def seen things chanfe dramatically both ways. I have seen you reach so many goals. Thanksgiving seems like the next natural one.

Longtermsurvivor

(((Rosevalley)))

Checking up on you tonight and holding you in loving healing light and loving kindness forever.

While I don't know what's next for you, you've had an amazing time since we met in Nov. 2015.

Who would have guessed!

I am avoiding the election now. No outcome looks good, because even if our gal wins, our country is torn apart by trouble and strife. I didn't see it coming and I'm so sensitive that I start crying whenever others even mention it. I just can't take the tension now.

Hospice care continues to support me and my autonomy!!

I may feel better than you, RV, because no vomiting and my symptoms are mostly controlled, except for the unavoidable parts. Plus, I've not added chemo to my mix. But cancer sure sucks...vital energy!

Honey, you do what you need to take care of your timing. Nobody could argue that you've hastened death. You've broken every record for miracle recoveries!

So grateful and joyous, Stephanie

btw, I'm ketonic now and it's like being on ecstasy. Joy!

also, you & I have changed the d&d community and belly mets community too. Right on!

Rosevalley

I know this election has me nearly in tears because I see a nation overwhelmingly good and wonderful. The division and hatred frightens me and I worry about us turning into 2 separate nations. We have already seen what ideology and fighting bitterly has done to the Middle East. Who would want our peaceful land in turmoil. Not me. I hope after the election there is healing and working together. It's just 4 years not a life time.

Yep Stephanie we have broken the records. We broke the taboos like Betty Ford talking about Breast Cancer. No one was talking openly and with detail about Belly mets and the symptoms that go along with it. They are now. I bet many more are reading then post too. I am happy to see the topic openly discussed and folks sharing their collective wisdom. We are teachers for each other for sure. You have been for me and many others. I hope that's our legacy. As miserable as this sometimes is we can help each other.

Peace tonight. and tomorrow too!

Bestbird

Dearest Rose and Stephanie, holding you both close in my heart, and hoping for a smooth day ahead for you.

feelingfeline

Rosevalley

What a lovely leaf and a new one poking through as the old changes color and leaves. Lovely color and textures, you are so talented a photographer. Good eye for composition too. Thank you I so enjoy the photos. Neat hobby you could sell these you know?

Well after very little food, being thirsty and vomiting for days off and on... Friday being the worst. I went to the oncologist yesterday and she fit me in -most grateful for that. She decided the chemo was too strong hence the symptoms (pain, N/V) and lowered the dose. I got a liter of fluid yesterday and that made me feel MUCH BETTER. The good side is it's working my tumor markers went down 102 points!! I can eat an egg and biscuit and coffee! No puking, lots of bloating though. I am thrilled. So in all the misery there was some good news and physical improvement..

Of course daily reality always sets in... the dog had diarrhea on the tile in the office..ugh stink. Had to clean that mess up. The PG&E gas crews are drilling through the street right outside our window making a hellatious amount of noise. Percy cat wants to go out and there are monster sized machines parked essentially surrounding the house..so no way. He's peeved and howling in protest. ugh more noise. So I ate my breakfast and drank my coffee to poo stench, cat howling and street grinding.... and I am still happy not to be puking and able to eat. Guess it all depends on your perspective. Right??? If this keeps up I will be able to be at Thanksgiving.

Blessings to all. (((Hugs))) Thanks for your support and prayers it lifts my spirit and humbles me that so many reach out to comfort. You are an amazing community.

feelingfeline

Thanks be to God for you feeling better Rose, and isn't that just life goes when you ended up deal with dog poo and drilling just when you felt better!

Glory in the good moments Rose. XXX

ruthbru

Glad you are feeling a little better and can EAT!

Here is a picture that I hope will make you smile. It's my little grand-dog after her first haircut. I think she has a "I'm a little devil" look in her eyes!

Rosevalley

Yes Glory in the moment and living in the present moment! Cancer has taught me that.

Ruth that dogs eyebrows are wonderful!! SHe's super cute. Is she sweet?

ruthbru

She is SO sweet. Very curious about the world, loves to sniff, go for walks, fetch little toys. But she likes to snuggle too. She doesn't bark unless super excited, and rides very nicely in a car. You can let her off her leash & she will stay right by you and is very smart too. (Gosh, if I am that crazy about a dog, can you image how obnoxious I will be if I ever get to be a grandmother? ).

feelingfeline

feelingfeline

Rosevalley

I love the photos just beautiful. I feel like I get out and explore more of the world through the lens of your camera. I thank you for that!!

Ruth there is nothing wrong with adoring a puppy. If they are loved and trained and enjoyed, they turn into great companion dogs for life. Sometimes getting other animals in the family to accept the newcomer is hard. Four years ago we had the family of our DD2's friend show up at our door 10 days before Christmas. The parents were getting a divorce and the Mom was making the 2 kids ages 16 and 10 give up their dog. Tearful pleading for us to take it. We did. She was a wild little terrier (15 pounds) and she got along with our 16 pound terrier older dog Flower who died at age 18 a year ago, but she never hit it off with our border collie. Our border collie actively bullied the little terrier and wouldn't let her out the doggy door, share toys, be near the gate to watch the neighborhood. This poor little dog lived in fear. We frequently heard yips of pain when the collie would nip her to get away. The final straw came last Feb when I went in the kitchen and our collie Tess had her mouth over Ruby's head and the little dog had her eyes shut shivering in terror. I smacked Tess and put her outside. That's when we decided to find little Ruby a new home. She was rusty red wiry haired doxy, russel mix... fiendishly cute.

We took her to a no kill dog shelter near Portland, paid a 75$ donation, told them all her good points-housebroken, rides great in a car, plays like crazy, good with kids, cats and dogs, loves snow, walks and cuddles on the couch, washes easily in the sink dries fast, sweet and friendly, microchipped and spayed and current on all shots. Bad points- terrified of thunder and fire crackers drools and cries, shreds paper and dog toys. My kids protested. I said the dog needs a life and she is only 5 years old. It's not right to live with a bully dog. She was in the no kill shelter for less then 24 hours when a retired woman who lost her husband, adopted her for a companion dog. The last picture we saw was of little Ruby licking her new owners face in joy! So I am sure she was spoiled and loved and free from fear being the only animal in the house. A fine ending for a happy sweet natured little dog. The folks who adopt there pay 300 for the dogs and that money goes to help the other animals. It also ensures folks are serious about adopting. So happy ending!! Our grumpy 11 year old collie is happily enjoying her only dog status and doesn't have to share anything. :-)

ruthbru

That is a happy ending. We once tried to adopt a cat we found wandering around in a snow storm. She was wonderful with humans but the problem was that SHE terrorized our other two cats! They had to resort to living on top of counters (she couldn't jump that high). We finally gave up and found her a home with a little ten year old girl who desperately wanted a pet. A perfect fit!

Rosevalley

Why is it I have to fight to get appointments scheduled for weekly chemo when I have been getting weekly chemo for MONTHS? I tried to schedule when I was there and now they are full and won't schedule me. This kind of pisses me off. Dump the old patients the stage 4, in favor for the new patients.... makes me wonder. Now if I don't get it on Wednesday it bumps me forward and makes me sick (puky)on Thanksgiving. It's BS I tell you. Nothing goes right. Always some lame excuse of we didn't get the orders in time.. it's like the patients themselves have to follow up nag and bitch to keep the schedule the doctor tells them they are supposed to have. If you were a passive sit on your hands and wait for the office to help you type of patient--- you would croak. You would miss weeks of treatments and I wonder if they would even notice or care?

Navelbine is a bitch too I puke part of dinner up every single night. sucks. I am getting to the point where maybe dinner needs to be taken out of the schedule. It's not worth the nausea, fullness, burping and vomiting. It's usually just one session of 3 or 4 vomits and then I feel better. Weird. It's definitely the chemo because the day before I am supposed to go in and it's worn off - I feel much better. Ah the joys of cancerland. Thanks for letting me vent..

KDs-Husband

Rose,

You just continue to "puke" those frustrations all you want, just like dinner. If anyone deserves it, you do.

I love the way you share "whatever" is going on with you. It is so REAL.

Prayers for relief from the N&V and the appointment schedulers.

Louis

Rosevalley

Louis- why lie or mask the truth.. what would that do? Just like Patty (Peppermint Patty) said she always feels worse at night. I soo get that! What is it about these treatments that make you tank at night? I guess I could be less graphic.

Ruth- glad you found a home for the cat and saved Henry and Oreo from being bullied. How is Henry doing without Oreo? Does he miss him or did he see that he was dead and know? Sixteen years ago when we had to put our other border collie down because of lymphoma, we took our 2 other dogs Flower (terrier) and Banner (Golden retriever/ DD1's service dog) in to see her body after she was put down by the vet. The vet suggested it since we were at the house. Their reaction was quite amazing; they went and sniffed her body and looked startled and sad. It helped them not look for her. Cricket (the border collie) was the best dog I ever had and the 3 of them would all sleep together.

queenmomcat

Where better to vent than here? (this board, or any of the "oh bleep this bleep" boards)

PattyPeppermint

vent away rose. We hear ya. That's outrageous to ave to nag for chemo. Wth ???

ruthbru

It is completely rotten that patients have to be their own advocates. I wonder what happens to little old people, or passive people, or uneducated people who aren't able to navigate 'the system'.......actually I pretty much know what happens, completely reprehensible!

I could tell that Henry knew something was wrong because he just sat under a table for a couple days. Now, I would say that he is rather enjoying ALL the attention DH and I are showering on him (he isn't used to people fighting over him since he has always been the crabby cat!).I am bringing Stella the grand-dog over every once and awhile to chase Henry around the house, just to keep him perked up!

feelingfeline

Rose I am sitting here in shock at what you described re your appts. That is appalling. Is there any bolshie relative that could put a rocket under them on your behalf? You said you tried to schedule when you were there ....who fobbed you off? Was their system down? You shouldn't have had to leave without an appt for the following week....If for example the system was down and they couldn't give you one there and then, it was surely THEIR job to contact you ASAP with an appt.....

feelingfeline

The "Supermoon" last night over Wicklow Town

JWoo

FF- wonderful moon shots!

Stephanie- wishing you to be pain free anf know you've touched so many here.

Sweet Rose, I'm sorry you've had such a difficult and painful time lately. I'd park myself in their reception area till they could squeeze me in, but I know that's not possible for everyone. I hope you can have a great thanksgiving with your loved ones.

While we try to make the best of the next 4 years, those that can should be sure to make it a point to get everyone they know to vote in the midterms in '18. We can flip the senate if we try.

Sending lots of love and light to you

Beatmon

Rosevalley, I know exactly your angst about scheduling. I've had the same thing happen quite a few times. My onco tells me just to say he said so and make room..my problem is more often scheduling to see the onco...the chemo unit pretty much always just make it to follow. I come the same day every 3 weeks....isn't there a scheduling program? Of course there is

Rosevalley

Heck I go every week. I don't know why it's an issue. Anyway I finally heard back and I go in 3 tomorrow. Labs infusion then hit the traffic home. But I am in. Wish me luck. Navelbine is a tough one. I started today with my head in a bucket at 6:30am... ugh.. the price of life I guess. Just ate my first meal 1 egg, cheese and toast and it's noon. Had a Naked Juice earlier and that stayed down. Love those juice mixes. Costco just started to carry them. Yum.

Love the moon shots FF gorgeous!! The moon was supposed to be close and huge but we have had nothing but rain lately so we can't see anything. May you all be well. ((Hugs))

queenmomcat

My digestive system sends your digestive system its sympathies. Breakfast at noon sounds about right for me and I don't have the excuse of chemo. My innards just hate morning, exams, air travel, and even random passing gnats.

And, yeah. Scheduling. Sheesh. You'd think they'd just have penciled you in as a matter of course by now. Is it just pro forma for doctors' offices to give us grief about this bleep?

PattyPeppermint

hugs rose