STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Kattysmith

You are absolutely in the right! Enjoy your holidays with your husband and children and try not to give him another thought.

goodprognosis

Hi Meow13

Frightful that you have to deal with two selfish idiots of parents. - I know the drill!! Been there, have that T-shirt. Domineering mother, weak father in my case!

I see you do not want to confront them on the issues, and that's your choice.

I read recently on a site I checked out about 'dealing with forgiveness and not being bitter', that it's a good idea to write them a letter - you don't have to post it but it's a great exercise to get it all out of you.

You should try it. Don't burn it immediately. Let it sit there a while, come back and read it again and then see if you need to actually post it to them. Just be ready for total denial on their parts if you do post that letter. I know how selfish people operate.

Keep your chin up and enjoy the Christmas with your real family. Remember we don't pick our parents .....!

GP

Meow13

I will, I feel better for ranting with you guys. At the age my parents are telling them isn't going to help. They would never get it. I did tell my mother to enjoy feeling good and not worry about a recurrence of a stroke. She is on blood thinner and I have heard her gp and her cardiologist say her risk of recurrence is significantly reduced. Also she needs to find an antidepressant that works. My kids who love her are not wanting to see her because of her gloom and doom. They are worried and want their grandmother back to her happy self. So do I.

LovesLiterature

I will give some back story in a condensed way. Everything about my cancer story includes waiting unnecessarily Or including outrageous delays. Abnormal Mamogram on June 23, 2016. Excision lumpectomy September 16th. Bilateral mastectomy with tissue expanders on November 28. I've only had two fills, and I get the call today that all of my weekly expander fills have been cancelled.,, my P.Surg is going out on leave and I can't get fills until February 2017. FEBRUARY!!!! I am struggling with these mutated hard monsters, and am in pain! I have to sleep on my back for another two months?!?!? Is this even allowed?! What can I do

Artista928

Sorry to hear. I'd be pissed too. The only rush to get them filled that I know of is if you are up against rads timing. You'd want the fill done + overflow before it since rads can tighten skin. THe ps never did my fills. MAs and PAs do it. As for pain, call the office and ask for pain meds. There HAS to be someone filling in for a surg that is out. Call the office after hours to get oncall surg.

Meow13

You mean someone else can stand in for her and do the fills. Yes I would be livid.

Meow13

Have you seen the devices where you can do the fills I believe with air yourself cutting tge time required and pain because you can do it slowly patient controlled throughout the day. I will find the link.

http://www.airxpanders.com/videos/

Artista928

I wouldn't dare do a do it yourself for something that is done in a clean sterile office... Not worth the risk of making it worse or infection..

And never heard of air. What keeps it expanded is the saline fluid they inject according to your tolerance. Don't mess with do it yourself unless ok by a doc....

LovesLiterature

Thank you Artista. I will check in to that. I was so angry when the lady called, I wasn't thinking clearly. Ps. It's also not lost on me that I came off as a total ass on this discussion board... I feel sheepish in complaining especially when I read the other signatures and issues on here.

Wow Meow... air expanders. I will check that out as soon as some of my hot air cools down. He he

Meow13

Yes look at air expanders this is a medical study to make reconstruction more convenient putting the pateient in charge. Artista read the article it doesn't involve needles or sterile environment. It is a device implant where you can slowly release the air, compression. Dont dismiss stuff you havent read. Innovation that is what we are talking about new medical treatment not brain surgery. It will not allow you to fill past a certain point.

Artista928

Unless a surg with experience with these things says go ahead and do it yourself, then fine. It may be new and I think I'd wait to make sure there's no air in how it's supposed to work. And doesn't she already have TEs in with 2 fills already?? I didn't see she wrote she has these, or did I miss it somewhere here? What's the point if she doesn't even have these in??

LovesLiterature

correct Artista... I've had 2 fills

Artista928

I would think then that unless you want to pull out those TEs and start over with this, if they offer it where you are, you are kind of stuck with these. I personally would never undergo a procedure unless it's a must. I say this as I'm on 2 abx on infection watch looking to possibly be admitted if things don't start to look better---and my ps is in Australia till after the year. His PA stays in touch by phone and pics to guide her at least with this fiasco..

LovesLiterature

oh Artista, ouch and my heart breaks for you. Yeah, maybe by the time my 5 year old daughter is an adult, these air expanders will be the norm. Hugs to you and I hope your infection gets better.

Meow13

Well I would atleast be open minded. I did not suggest she pull her TEs out just discussing an alternative that is currently accepting applicants. Wow people can be really nasty and closed minded too. Merry Christmas you lovely ladies.

Artista928

It doesn't make sense for her at this point, is the point, She has the TEs in with 2 fills. We are talking about her, right, in response to her frustration of is this right??, what to do now?? Pointing out a new device isn't going to help her here. It's interesting info and putting it on the TE forum for those who will be facing recon is not a bad idea. They can speak to their ps about it, assuming it is something that is available everywhere or will be.

Pammac47

LovesLiterature

The TE's feel like titanic boobs, on everyone. You will master the art of side sleeping trust me. Pile pillows for comfort but get used to waking for position changes. I swear it's not funny I just had it with sleeping on my back as had back pain. Life does get better once you realize it's just like cuddling two shovels every night. God bless I'm right here with you and mine will be TE for while longer- more than 3 mos 😳

Pam

tangandchris

I have a major resentment brewing that has spilled over now. I have family members thru marriage, they are not even blood relatives but still considered family. This is my step-brother's wife....her brother was engaged to a woman who was dx'd about 6 months after I was. He ended up dumping her and got married and had a baby with another woman. Complete and utter asshole, when I see him at family gatherings he can barely look at me because I'm sure I'm a reminder of what a terrible person he is. He's sickening and to make matters worse, his mother defended him by saying that Lisa was nothing but doom and gloom and it was just too depressing for everyone to be around. I overheard her saying this and frankly I'm appalled by the whole thing. Never once have these people asked me how I'm doing, feeling...anything. They knew I was in contact with Lisa as a support, then I got accused of stirring up drama because I told her he had married someone else.

I really do not like these people and it came to a head over Christmas. That is too long and complicated to explain over this, but let's just say I've had it with trying to not ruffle feathers. I see that these people are only about themselves and be damned about anything or anyone that doesn't go with their program. I hope to not have to see them anytime soon.

thanks for letting me vent.

Lita57

Tang....geez, WHAT an asshole!!!

I feel sorry you have to be exposed to that shiz. Well, at least he's not a blood relative, he's the step-brother's wife's brother, (your STEP in-law) so there are some degrees of separation. And the mother is a piece of work, too...of course she'd defend him, but, my God, have some human compassion and decency!!!

Hopefully you won't have to see any of them any time soon. And if the subject ever comes up, speak your mind. Some people need to be schooled on these things. But you know what, Lisa is BETTER OFF NOT BEING WITH HIM. At least she found out what type of CHARACTER he had b4 getting legally hitched. Just think, she could have married the asshole, had a kid, THEN come down with cancer, and then gotten dumped, left to deal w/cancer and the kid!

tangandchris

I agree Lita....thankfully I don't see them that often. I just had to get that crap out of my head and this forum helps.

Love2Hike

I'm new to this board but wanted to vent about my PS. I recently went to a bra speciality shop for 2 comfortable bras and a prosthesis........I had a mx and am in reconstruction right now. I went back to work and wanted to be comfortable and be balanced out so thought this was a great idea but the PS did not approve sending a script :-( The nurse did not inform me why.......they just denied it to the specialty shop. Has anyone had a problem with this before? Maybe they don't approve anything until after reconstruction?? But I wanted something supportive/comfortable in the meantime and insurance covers it so did not think it would be an issue at all. I have a very hard time getting through to the nurse or doctor so haven't approached them about this yet. Plus I'm concerned about being a 'difficult' patient since I still have to have the TE/implant exchange with this doctor in the near future.

BayouBabe

Have you tried having your breast surgeon or your oncologist send the script? That is who took care of mine, not the PS. Worth a second try with a different part of your team

pajim

Love2Hike, I'd ask one of your other doctors for the script. Your BS or Primary Care doc should be willing to write it. You have every right to be comfortable NOW.

april485

Just letting out a scream of horror in the "Steam room" because today is the day....

If you don't get it, sorry bout that. Leaving it as is.

tangandchris

I've been thinking of a friend since last night, we met here and I felt so close to her. I was scared so many times at the beginning and she was there to cheer me on, give me advice or just to say she understood. We had similar dx and similar treatment. Her cancer metastasized and when she told me I was so crushed, just couldn't believe it. Within months she was gone, but what was so upsetting is that she wasnt on the board for a couple of months and I'd PM her, message her...nothing. Turns out she had passed away and we didn't know.

anyway, just thinking of her and the others and i hate cancer

Lita57

President (I was asked to sensor this by the moderators) ...turning off the TV all day!

april485

Lita!

Love2Hike

BosumBlues, pajim, BayouBabe, thanks for the comments! I approached my BS and the nurse said they let the plastic surgeon make decisions on that :-( I already had an appt. with my gynecologist though and she approved the script! :-) I was so glad to have her support. Still don't understand why the PS did not approve the script to be sent so I could get some supportive, comfortable bras, but I have an appt. next week so can bring it up then.

Fotheringay

I started this in the Employment Issues thread, but it has degenerated into a rant, so I will post here...

I don't yet qualify for FMLA. Dx in November, lumpectomy in December. Riding the familiar emotional rollercoaster with scary alternative scenarios, one after another. Another test, another biopsy, wait for the prognosis. You all know that road all too well.

I have been totally overloaded at work since the day I started, working 46-50+ hrs a week, and never able to get it all done. I don't yak on the phone, surf the web, or walk around socializing with other employees. I don't waste time. I CARE.

I'm starting radiation in a week, and they STILL keep piling new duties on me. There is NO way I could do everything they expect me to do in 40 hours.

I got a letter from the hospital requesting several months accommodation. We are going to have a meeting on Wednesday, and I guess we will be discussing the "essential duties" of my position. I have never in my life wished so dearly that I could have an attorney with me.

Trying to get my work done between appointments has yielded work days ending at 7:30 or 8 some nights, so I'm so exhausted by the weekend that I end up on the couch paralyzed all day Saturday, and don't get anything done for myself. I don't care about food; I'm so tired I don't have the energy to cook, so I live on soup and cheese and crackers. No exercise, too wiped out.

Between the work load, the stress, (the paranoia), the depression, and the impending radiation fatigue, I just want to throw in the towel and go on short-term disability, but it rankles me that I feel like I've been railroaded into this position.... It's them against me. I'm glad I at have the option of STD, but my income will tank, and I'll have to pay COBRA premiums.

Carrie

Pammac47

Carrie-

Omg !!! People can be so cruel, hugs to you... I wish I could help with all that burden, try to find time for yourself. Girlfriends??? Family to help at home??? I hope you have someone who is your champion soon..