STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

sas-schatzi

Okay Kjones, look at the topic box. Decide if you want to confront her. The rules on this thread say confrontation is allowable.

The Mods have read the thread rules. They didn't negate them. What they asked only was that political stuff go to another thread.

I did this thread b/c confrontation wasn't allowed on another thread. We have to have a free space to say to someone "I don't like what you are saying."

Confrontation has fallout. But it also can resolve an issue. I wish I had a venue to resolve a stalking issue in the past. This venue would have allowed me to say "cut it out".

Kjones13

oh she knows sas. I was pretty clear about it on another thread. I have blocked her, but I will unblock to see what she says on a thread I commented on. i did sit back and watch her posts for about 6 months or so and it led me to look at other threads and other conversations...she claims to be bullied al the time, but I have dropped my jaw more than once at her responses...especially toward people with different view points. Blah blah blah

goodprognosis

A lot of us know who you're talking about Kjones13. I've blocked her too. All I can say is do your best to stay away from the threads she's on.......... Read up on passive/aggressive behaviour and you'll understand you will never get through to someone like that..........they cannot stop thinking of how wronged they are to even hear another's point of view.

Focus on the good things in life and on those who support you and are positive in your life and move to another thread - I'm off now......

Always thinking about and sending good and loving thoughts to all my sisters - EVERY ONE!!!!

leggo

Kjones, sending you a pm.

Kjones13

good advice goodprognosis. I know better. I got to hold my friends new born baby today! It was a great day! Thanks for letting me vent

Italychick

Who is she lol? Inquiring minds want to know

MusicLover

Italychick, It's best for no one to say.

sas-schatzi

Leggo, stop stalking me, stop with the snide remarks, stop anything you do in relationship too me. I'm just so done with you.

mustlovepoodles

I'm rather new to all this, having only been diagnosed in August 2015, but I have already had my fill of breast cancer awareness. And I love pink--it's my signature color! How come they co-opted my color, so that people will think I'm all pro-BC awareness. I had to stop my mother from buying me a license plate with the pink ribbons on it! That I do NOT need!

My dog groomer found out I have BC, so she shared with me that she had BC about 12 years ago. BMX, chemo, radiation, the works, and she's NED--bully for her! She is a very upbeat person and I know she means well, but she is so forceful about me keeping a stiff upper lip. Yikes! And my sister-in-law too--she's in the "just cut them off" and "it could always be worse" camp. Yeah, I know I'm not going to die from BC, but could I please just have the right to feel a little anxious about this? it's not like I'm crying all the time or trying to kill myself. I just want to scream, "Please, don't shut me down like this. I have the right to feel what I feel!"

Marg64

I think there's an intrinsic reaction to finding out someone you know has to have their boobs cut off or irradiated or chemo'ed.

Most people want to be sympathetic and help. Most but not all. Some will project onto you like you're...an airplane flight. If your surg gets delayed, well then SO's Mommy will just arrange for him to help fix her $2 million house, holding inheritance and trusts over him so he can remain a kid at 50. Or SO's friends will call and say there are halibut or whatever 30 miles away.

t's gonna depend on what SO does when it goes down. If he tries to force his mom on me especially for any fishing related reason we are completely done.

Bounce

I am so angry with people who imply all disease, including cancer, is caused by either psychological problems or a fault of character of some sort!

Any clever comebacks to shut these idiots up?

april485

Just one Bounce.....Tell them to F&%k off! That would be my response. You don't have to put up with ANY stupidity. Hugs to all!

MusicLover

Bounce, April's comeback is good. You can also tell them their day is coming or the best one would be to tell them to go over to St. Jude's and tell all the kids their explanation of why they have cancer.

sas-schatzi

"1:3 will get cancer in their lifetime. How have you been feeling?"

The stare.

The walkaway.

Cut them out of your life.

april485

 MusicLover and Sas!

Bounce

Thank you Ladies. It feels so good to be heard and understood.

Hugs to you all.

Italychick

bounce, how about telling them that being alive is the great risk for getting cancer, and they could be next? and ask them if they have gotten all the monitoring done, etc., that is necessary to expose cancer. They could have a bomb ticking inside them and not even know it. That should shut them up. I really hate the blame game. There is no rhyme or reason, my evaluated risk for ever contracting breast cancer was 5%!

Keys-Plez

Tell 'em. One in Three will get cancer. I took the hit for YOUR dumb ass! You're Welcome.

And then walk away.

Keys-Plez

Dang. That felt good. I didn't realize I had that in me!!!

sas-schatzi

Italy chick , Bounce, April, ML. . The new thing on the agenda that is being passed along is live a healthy lifestyle. Which implies if you have gotten cancer, you didn't live a healthy lifestyle. Science has shown some direct connections to cancer, but more is unknown than known. With the new campaign they are blaming all that got cancer. It supports the holier than thou group.

To much in science has chosen what they want to support b/c it fits their agenda. Each of us can remember changes from year to year that something was good then it was bad. Only to return to being good again. Coffee, eggs, butter, margarine(trans-fat fiasco).

I'm a big science fan, but recognize we are in a state of flux like no other time in history. We made it as a species b/c we did much that was right. The epidemic of disease since the beginning of the industrial revolution, comparable to the Black Plague of the middle ages. Dunno. total numbers, but the trouble we're in has allot to do with chemicals. Not all of them perceived as bad. Antibiotics alter immunity. Immunity strength is associated with resistance to disease. We will be in a mess for a few more decades b/c we messed indiscriminately without respect to their use. Now add a greater understanding that even whether we were born by C-section or natural childbirth, impact our later well being.

Science will help us, eventually may save us. In the mean time, it has much to learn. Let us survive those that blame us

sas-schatzi

Keys, yes, it's good to let things out once in awhile. Like I did just recently after being polite for 3 years. Nice

april485

yes Sas...the "blame the victim" mentality is alive and well. Late stage women often get the "Didn't you get your mammograms?" implying that they are at fault for it being found so late. Ugh! Also, anyone who is a bit chubby (raising my hand) is thought to have somehow caused their BC. So many vegan, exercise daily, no family history, regular mammo people end up with BC, this should NEVER be thought to be the victim's fault. None of us caused our bodies to make cancer cells...they just freaking did period. Phew, off my chest now.

sas-schatzi

One beautiful young woman posted not long ago. She was the poster child for for healthy living. You could tell she was heartbroken about getting BC. She wanted to know why. I said it was a crapshoot. Considering I think the word crap is the ugliest word, that's what I think of what is known about cancer.

Science can do so much on defining things on a cellular level, but we aren't they're yet in the true why for any of us. Except the genetic linked. Even that is a mysterythough. In my own paternal side they're 21 women. 3 aunts and 19 women first cousins. 12 cancers. 9 are bc. Some premenopausal, some postmenopausal. The mix range on the cancers are from the 'super poster child picture of health to the non poster child' so to speak. Why did some develop cancer and others didn't? Why did some die that were from the super healthy group? Why did some survive that were the smoking , drinking, overweight? Crapshoot. Sure they're is a genetic thingy. But by science's preset and promulgation of what will prevent cancer an death from cancer, it doesn't follow. They're is something unknown.

Weight is an example. I so wish I could get back to the seminal study that said weight was a factor. A statistic of x% said women that who were over weight or obese had a greater chance of getting cancer. Also, in that same study was a y% for women of normal weight and their chance of getting cancer. Over time studies have used that first study to promulgate the party line about weight. I have no clue what those numbers were, but if they read like 52% of overweight etc and 48% normal weight etc blah. The margin difference is not that far off. But in all subsequent studies the info has been so heavily(no pun) weighted towards overweight. Studies that follow the party line have an easier time getting published.

Using a different but relavant example that most are familiar with is the food pyramid. Think about how many times it has been revised in your own lifetime? Think about the American Heart Associations revision on many areas of heart care and treatment. I used to teach paramedics /EMT-A's. The joke between us as teachers was what are we teaching this year?

The Women's Health Study(Harvard) that is used for so many studies is also known as the Nurses Study. The total number is something like176,000. Nurses were used b/c they were a large cooperative group with easy access to labs. What has never been studied is whether the group was actually representative of all women? So, what does that mean to the information extrapolated from that study?

Bounce

Its bad enough people thinking lifestyle alone could be the cause of cancer but I am crazy angry that some people think your thoughts can give you cancer (or cure you of cancer).

I believe your attitude makes a difference to how you get through everything but if my thoughts could have such a powerful effect I can assure you my idiot family member would be sitting on a rocket of my imagining heading to Mars right now!

sas-schatzi

Bounce great description LOL.

sas-schatzi

JJOntario

Sometimes I wish there was a "like" button for some of these posts...

april485

LOL Bounce!

pajim

Bad freakin' luck. That's what it is and don't let anyone tell you or imply differently.

No one knows why cells start to multiply uncontrollably. Once they figure that out, then we can all blame ourselves for something. Or nothing. Until then, Just bad f---- luck.

Bounce

I went for Genetic Counseling 7 years before I got cancer.

When my BRCA 1 and BRCA 2 tests came back negative I was relieved and smiled happily.

The counselor looked at me and said: "This is nothing to be happy about. With your family history it is not a question of if you will get cancer - only a question of when."

And yet this person who shall remain unnamed persists in asking me if I don't see the connection between my inner state of being and disease.

She is more unhealthy for me than anything else but for the sake of family peace I cannot tell her to F%$ Off or hit her upside the head. I think I am going to write her a long letter in which I state how she makes me feel - just to get it off my chest - but not actually send it to her. The funny thing is that I do see how inner problems can manifest as disease - I just don't think it is always the case. However - she is giving me a bad dose of the crazies. I have to either evict her or start charging her rent as she is living inside my head.

Incidentally - I would like to rant about the genetic counselor too.

I used to fantasize about blowing up peoples cars (and not looking back) but maybe I will just make room for him on the rocket to Mars.