STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Aoibheann

RANT.... DH is driving me insane. I feel mean because he wasn't expecting me to become ill and he has now become my carer and he has done his best. He is an angry, volatile man by nature and he finds this role difficult. His retirement coincided with my dx so the lovely life he was planning for himself didn't happen. He is a hypocondriac and has always worried about his health, yet still managed to do whatever he wanted to do. Anyhoo, since my dx he has been constantly unwell. He has a path beaten to the doctors with his various ailments and he has been genuinely suffering - nausea, vomiting, ear infections, vertigo, back pains, probs with his knees, fear of heart attacks, etc etc. He's had lots of tests and scans but there's no sign of anything wrong. Yet not a day goes by without a list of complaints. Every time he gets a scratch it's like emergency ward ten here, screams for disinfectant, bandages, worries about infection, getting cellulitis, does he need antibiotics. I listen to a constant barrage of his symptoms and I feel like shouting (and do).. 'Shut the f### up! Maybe if you didn't eat so much and drink wine every night, you might feel better. Take better care of yourself, YOur knees can be sorted. It's not a competition. You're not going to die!' If I am fatigued, he is. If I don't sleep well, neither does he. You get the picture. I feel callous, but I cannot feel sorry for him. I want to kill him.... Aargh!

vettegirl

I am so disappointed...got my aereolla tatoo two weeks ago, and it has all peeled off, plus my nipple reconstruction failed on that breast as well.  Now they are telling me I have to wait three more months to even try it again-to give the radiated breast more time to heal.  I havent had rads in a year, will it ever "heal"?  Arggghhhhhh... I just wanted to be done.  I left that PS's office so discouraged and disappointed this week, blah!

Ngd54

sorry, you have to go through this. Hopefully things work out next time. Hugs

GraceB1

I'm furious that two of the top ten worst charities are cancer related and a breast cancer charity was number 2. http://weekendcollective.com/10-best-10-worst-charities/

sas-schatzi

Bump

sas-schatzi

This definitely sums up our lives..................................

apackoftwo

Dear NGD54 - I am on oncologist #5 - !!!! - and finally have one that is the most supportive and loving I could want - I beat myself up for 2 1/2 years because I couldn't get along with the docs and was always angry because of issues you mention in your post. Not only is my current onc completely there for me - I believe she is an excellent physician and I trust her. And believe me too when I say sometimes I am the patient from hell - and still she is there. So keep trying - go out of town if you have to but don't give up - having the right treatment team makes all the difference in the world. I wish I knew about this topic when I was going through angst about tx providers - I still have a good rant or two in me, but that is for another time. Hang in there - you deserve to be treated with love, dignity and respect. Susie

JJOntario

MO says see the BS for follow up, family Dr says see the BS for follow up...I call the BS and the receptionist says "why are you seeing the BS? Did she ask to see you?". No...but I'm asking!!! I have a huge honking lump/cyst in my good boob (I can see it when I lay down) and the bad boob is 4 months post rads and tightening up like a Tupperware bowl...(I have existing implants) along with 2 other complex cysts that are supposed to be being watched.I just want a proper investigation, a clear mammo...yes, I can handle the squeeze...but I can't handle feeling bounced. If cysts and BC are estrogen fed...is the tamoxifen not working

sas-schatzi

jj. So did the receptionist make the appointment?

JJOntario

Appt is today....hoping it goes better than I am expecting!!

april485

Sas, that Dr. Seuss poem is perfect....sums it up for me too, especially lately.

Hugs to all of us who suffer fools (some doctors and relatives/friends as well) and who continue to plod along despite our lives being turned upside down by this evil disease. Next week the country will be awash in pink and I will be quietly gagging on it all.

My real rant is this...YES, I was lucky to be diagnosed with "only" DCIS...but, still had to have surgery (twice in 3 weeks) and radiation and take an AI which is brutal. Cut, burn and poison...the usual "treatment" for BC. To those of you who say "You didn't have "REAL" cancer, I say this - KMA! It was real enough to me and to all of my DCIS sisters.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now back to your normally scheduled lives.

quiltlibrarian

April I so hear you. If we didn't have cancer why would they do surgery on us, plus treatment.

Since dx everyday is breast cancer awareness day. Sigh

Hugs all

SuzyBlue

I hear you too, after six surgeries it's hard to feel lucky. A pretty radical solution if it wasn't much of a problem in the first place. Of course I do understand there are many women who have faced, and continue to face far worse than anything I have, it's just difficult sometimes when people trivialize what I've been through

pajim

New Year's Resolution -- stay out of the OR [operating room]. I was successful last year.

Jinx27

Finally found a place for my rant!!! Thanks

Of the five people that I informed about my diagnosis; two being my parents and three of them very close friends for 5+ years, all five of them are reacting in very different ways. This is natural but at times VERY annoying when I have come to terms with the fact that I have cancer, Im ready to fight now

I find my self giving them pep talks about my cancer, Its really annoying. Its robs me of the positive energy that I have been harnessing for myself for the past week since my diagnosis. Granted I cried like a baby to my mom when I first found out. But I pulled myself out of that mood with my health providers helping me understand that this is not final, in the slightest.

I wish I would have waited until I had my surgery date and treatment planned out and then told people.

I hate getting too many phone calls unless its from my MO, Breast Surgeon or Nurse Navigator with information.

Its like having to relive the day I found out all over again.

Most people say..

"I dont know how your doing it, I would be in a corner crying..." (Is there any comfort in that...really?)

Even my PCP said "Well if I were you, I would just get a mastectomy and that way I wont have to deal with cancer at all". (I'm thinking, your a completed idiot.)

"Are you okay" ( This one I understand, but don't ask me a million times. My mood changes just like any human.)

I regret telling people, really

A close friend of mine told a prof/personal mentor that we both had in college, did she even ask me? Are you the cancer patient or am I ? People try to help and instead become annoying.

sas-schatzi

My friends here. Scuttlers posted this and it's just to good to miss. It's all the bonehead comments in one place.

5 hours ago scuttlers wrote:

2 hours ago scuttlers wrote: I may make a copy, put on the fridge, and play bingo for one week. If I get a "Bingo", hubby takes me to dinner. If I get a "full card", I get a full spa treatment. Then all those idiots would be wondering why I jump up and down and scream happily at their stupid and asinine remarks. :-). !!!!!

sas-schatzi

Jinx, This definitely goes along with what you said. I also put in the same box Scuttlers comment on how she was going to use the bingo card. sassy

BC2015

oMG! That is perfect. I am printing it out

JJOntario

Just saved the bingo card! Priceless!!!!

sas-schatzi

sas-schatzi wrote:

Cheerleading for BCO. They are our home, our resource, we gain so much by being here. They have costs. Let's help.

They make periodic requests by email. They're is the donation link in the header. An easy way for those that do online banking is to set up a donation on a predictable basis.

We need to do this. They take care of us. Let's make sure we take care of them.

You don't have to send a check. Do it simply in your online banking. But if you are still stuck on checks.........

To donate by mail, please send your check payable to Breastcancer.org to:
120 E. Lancaster Avenue | Suite 201 | Ardmore, PA 19003

link to BCO Our biggest advocate

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/110/topic/834331?page=1

Link to the mainboard donation page

https://secure3.convio.net/bco/site/Donation2?df_i...

Edited by Mods to update office address.

Moderators

Wow Sas! Thank you so much for the support -- we really, really appreciate it!!!

(Just a note, our office recently moved, so we updated your post to reflect the new address -- the update will be sitewide soon!)

Thanks again!!!

Marg64

I am really angry with people who believe "disability" is their profession. People, daily, who parade that "permanently and severely disabled" label when they can obviously write, can obviously stand up for themselves against a bureaucracy to successfully get their wish, but who got certified and now parade it around like its a privilege for people to be picking up dog crap or driving uber or manning the takeout lane to be supporting multiple-degreed orators. Same with the guy who drives and walks dozens of miles to some beach and fishes in his waders, pulls motors and tries to deal pot for cash. He's got a heart valve condition obviously under control and some mental whatever that he doesn't have to overcome now that he needn't get a job.

Your 5150 in 1998,88, whatever does not entitle you to 20 years of vacation. I see it with these professionally disabled all the time. I get up. I go to work. Headache, backache, psych. We go. If I'm able to a) be mobile and b) able enough to comprise this not beautifully written post, I will be getting back to work as soon as that happens. II have to do it until 2032 and it floors me that there are people out there who are not retirement age and could work but would rather have me pay for them.

sas-schatzi

Pinktober Revoultion is running pretty hot. If your anger or thought are about pinking and pinkwashing here's the link

https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topic/791442?page=78#idx_2338

Other post it here.......................

Beachbum1023

Sassy, all this pink, I need a who cares button. I'm pretty aware already. Maybe going for a bone scan, blood labs, cardiology appointment, CT, and oncologist appointment reminded me. While I wait for all the results, I can look at all the "pink". I'm going to barf, either it's the pink overload or the waiting!!!!! Or the usual, the fear of hearing "it's back". Not sure what would be more disturbing to hear "you have breast cancer" or it's back". Oh crap I have breast cancer, so the odds suck it. Guess I am 50%.

I was so hoping to leave my butt kicking cancer killing boots behind...............so game on again, I will post the results!! Better be STABLE!!

blondedoris

fingers crossed for good results Beach x

Beachbum1023

blondedoris, THANK YOU!!!!!!! Cheryl

Jumpship

Cancer-the process where my kids went from kind, healthy kids who cared about others to mean, criminals who make me want to hide in my room. Don't tell me it's because they're teens or because they are having trouble processing grief. It's mom not being around to monitor things. It's them watching religious people not care for them with their actions. Now that I have more strength I can take away priviledges, etc but it just kills me. I worked hard to create good character in them for a decade and it feels like it's all been undone. My rant for the day.

april485

(((minivan))) Just a hug...my brother was a big problem for my Mom and she was there all of the time and healthy and able to do what was needed. Still he was in trouble with cops etc. Not your fault. Remember that.

sas-schatzi

Bump for a vent. Only place you're encouraged to drop a vent then leave for a healthier place

Kjones13

why do some people make my blood boil? Why can't I just let it go? Not in my real life...well not in my current proximity...just on the boards. I loathe her. And I can't understand why others don't see what she's really all about---herself! Grr