STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER

Lita57

It really pisses me off how people treat depression like it's no big deal.

We just lost Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain to suicide because they were depressed.

We had to stage an intervention for my DD 18 mos ago b'cuz she was planning her own suicide, and one of her friends alerted the university counselors. She's on meds and doing much better, but it could have gone the other way very easily.

Illness is illness, and I don't weight one more than the other. When you're in the stew experiencing it, it colors your present reality. No one else lives inside your head, and no one else feels what you feel. We can't cure people. We can't solve their problems. All we can do is lift each other up and lend an ear of support rather than judge and give them a "score card."

L

Artista964

if you're referring to me lita, im not comparing per se but certainly do to myself to keep things in perspective for ME. I think its a great tool. Helped me climb out of suicide..

Giving support for one another and not saying stage 0 is better than 4 publicly goes without saying cuz everyone is different. However just as important is trying to provide tools to not get ti where you are found half dead from attempted suicide. There wasnt a clear warning for those who knew me. I kept symptoms hidden. So take whats said as trying to help people cope privately and not a slam on anyones situation.

Micmel

every reason we all die sucks. No matter how you talk about it.... shape it, form it...they are rough physically and mentally. If they weren't people wouldn't die from the diseases. Everything has its own pain and terrors associated with aging and dieing. We came into this world helpless. Oddly.... thinking so crappy to go out that way also. Diseases are just that. Awful. No matter what they are. Sometimes it's just too much for us all to bare when we are alone with our what if's and the why me's... I know I'm still asking all those questions 2.5 years later. Still no answers. We need to love and support each other. That's all that matters. Really. Loving those around you. ~M~

Artista964

you are right. Just offering a perspective on how some people cope, like me, in private not in front of anyone. In my head. By thinking that was im not uncompassionate if someone is struggling. My mom is stage 0 and has more anxiety from it than me. I dont say think about people who are worse off. I do offer her support and say focus on what she can do. Dad took longer but weve got him focused on the haves and not the have nots. Thats not negating any emotions he has. I cant imagine the possibility of pls if it were me. His spirits are good after a terrible start 4 mo ago.

Whatever sucky cards you are dealt with and how you feel, being in good spirits is a good thing. Thats what im saying and just used my own thoughts to myself as an example that works for me.

Gl to all. May peace be upon you with an abundance of love.

Lula73

This is the way it should be...

mustlovepoodles

LOL, God bless George Carlin.

marijen

Funniest thing I’ve seen in forever. Living backwards is for me

bella2013

Lula73, thanks for that laught🤣🤣🤣!

Egads007

I was waiting for my luggage to unload at JFK when I saw on one of the tv screens that Mr. Carlin had passed. Very sad moment for me. His comedy genius Is irreplaceable. Thanks for posting that Lula, and for triggering the memory of 'The 7 words you can’t say on tv’ and ‘betcha’ can’t just eat one’ LOL may he rest peacefully in his spa!

smwusaf

Lula! thanks for the laugh. And for the other George Carlin memories I'm having right now about my "stuff"!

I wanna live backwards too.

DancingElizabeth

Diseases suck! But, to me, suicide ranks - as the one of the saddest. I can't imagine the torture a person must feel - that makes them want to take their own life. And, the pain that leaves their family and loved ones.

I read a fascinating article about a man who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge - and - survived. He said he went running off the bridge, however, the "mili-second" that his hands left the railing - he felt REGRET and didn't want to die. He was of the 1% who survive. And, met others (of this 1% who jumped and survived). He said - they all felt REGRET the mili-second they jumped - as well. That's a powerful story.

I knew a boy in high-school - who went around telling everyone - who would listen - that he planned to kill himself "this weekend". NO-one believed him - including me. I honestly thought - he was just trying to get attention. Well - he wasn't.

We found out the following Monday...

I didn't know him that well - but - I think about him - to this day.

Micmel

very similar story from my High school years. I sat with him at study hall. We talked everyday. One Christmas Eve he took his Dads gun and shot himself christmas morning. He was 16. I never saw him again.... when the vacation break was over. He just never came back to study hall again. I sat alone at that table for the rest of the year. I liked him just fine. Never knew such things lurked for him. He was a smart kid also. Just one day gone. It was tragic. That also crosses my Mind from time to time. Especially since more and more I am hearing about people I went to school with passing away. Mostly drug issues I believe... but not all. But most.... here I sit 48 and stage four remission. How long will this last? Constant torture. So many things plague our minds and we just don't know where to go with it. No outlet. No understanding, no one who gets it. Like us here. We get it. So sad. Life is difficult for sure, once you start living it on your own it becomes rough! ~M~

DancingElizabeth

M...I'm very sorry to hear your story as well... It is torture...and very few people have any idea how this feels...

Life is weird. There was a friend of mine - recently - who I used to chat with everyday at work. Lovely woman. The nicest person. Then one day - she didn't come to work. They said she was on medical leave. Well - she never came back and passed away. She didn't even know she was sick.

My heart hurts for her and her family. She had a DD - about the same age as mine.

Jumpship

I am mad and sad that at 50 I can't make it through a whole day of kids' sports without coming home and not being able to move. I was super happy the PA heard my complaint about fatigue and ran some interesting tests but upset that it's been 4 days and the *&(*&(*& doctor's office still hasn't released the results.

I am so angry about being so darn fatigued and in pain! It brings me to tears.

runor

I have two warring voices in my head. I'm sure the neighbours can hear them shouting at each other between my ears.

Voice One says, "oh my god! We have cancer! Had cancer. Have, had, who the hell knows what to say? Either way, there was cancer and tests say hmmm, there might still be but we're not sure so we're just going to wait and watch and EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED!!! I am going to die from this! This disease seems to just keep coming back! AAGGHH!

Voice Two says: Shut up, you idiot. You were always going to die. Cancer didn't change a damn thing. Did you think you were going to live forever and then it got derailed by cancer? No! No! You were NEVER going to live forever, your best before date was established the day you were born, so having cancer CHANGES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

And the part that freaks me out is that both of these voices are 100% correct. Knowing I have/had cancer has indeed changed everything about my perception and feelings and experience. But it has changed nothing about the fact that I was scheduled to die at some point anyway so.... nothing new there.

Knowledge is the problem. Knowing. Seeing. Contemplating. Medically fighting the disease is a battle and then the ravages of battling the disease become their own battle. You go from trying to cure cancer to trying to live with the effects of trying to cure it. Ignorance truly is bliss. Take cows for example. We used to raise and butcher our own beef. On death day Dad would go out with his bucket of grain like he did everyday, set the grain down. Steer would stick his head in the bucket, like he did every day, and begin munching and then boom, shot to the head. He never saw it coming. Oh that we could all die without warning while eating out of a bucket!

How is it that we can know we are going to die and NOT know it? How is it that we act like cancer is a death sentence when LIFE is the death sentence, BIRTH is the death sentence. How can I feel like the ONLY thing that is going to kill me is cancer, as if I am suddenly no longer vulnerable to car crash, pianos falling on me, lion attacks, deadly sting from a puffer fish and, most likely, choking to death on a hot dog because I eat like a pig and don't chew properly. Suddenly nothing else is going to kill me, just cancer? Bullshit. So, cancer changed nothing at all. But it changed everything. This is making me insane.

marijen

Runor, love that the neighbors can hear the voices screaming in your head! ROTFL 😆 And yes the moment we are conceived we are doomed to die. My problem is I’ve never heard of anyone here dying from choking on a hot dog, car crashes, getting hit by THE BUS, or a lion’s attack although these things do happen. I only hear of our members succumbing to cancer and that is frightening.

Artista964

we dont know what happened to the people who were here and left the boards. Many left because of board issues. Many are doing well,as not everyone succumbs to cancer. Many dont read this board because most of what they see is problems and struggles. My mom is one. She's keeping her sanity by not reading this board. She visited 1 time and said way too depressing. And she does have nasty ses from AI. But in her mind, if she spends too much thinking about it shell get depressed. So she doesnt, goes along with it is what it is for things she cant change, and her spirits are not bad. Kind of like how you think so you shall be. I really like the eastern zen way of thinking. They have the same problems everyone has but how they think keeps them grounded.

sas-schatzi

As nurse since 1974 and a polio survivor from 1952, Cancer sucks. There are other conditions that can be so life sucking. LIFE SUCKING. That the enjoyment of life is sucked from that person. Comparing life sucking ailments and saying which is worse, is cruel. You haven't walked in their shoes.

Do not assume they had control of what was occurring.

Artista964

how we manage not to be sucked out of living is key imo. Of course its hard for many no matter what the issue, but why not just try some eastern medicine as well for those who haven't like relaxation, breathing, visualization exercises to try and keep grounded? When i was in the psych ward i thought it all was bs and nothing can help me. My therapist said i sounded like a frog with all the yeah buts i said. It was funny i will admit, and got me thinking every time i said yeah but. Took a long time but it helps me and many others with dealing with shitty stuff that we dont have much control over.

PreludeSing

Oh my goodness Runor...that was....that is to say...oh my....damn f@$ing hilarious. Your head and my head may have heard each other across a few oceans but my voices are nowhere near as articulate as yours 😅🤣. Thank you. I was here to rant but...now I just can't.

Micmel

another morning with coffee and a smile courtesy of Runor. Thank you my friend. I adore your sense of humor. To no end. I think of you everyday! Much love to all~M~

Waving hello to roseabella! 😊 hello there !

Everyone have a cancer thought free day! Very hot hot hot today.

Lula73

I will be the one you know that died choking on something ... only it won't be a hot dog. It will be my nightly pills, that are supposed to extend my life, that end up ending it early. Ironic, no?😳

bella2013

Runor, thank you for articulating the conversations in my head! ROFL😂😂😂

jaycee49

https://www.cancerhealth.com/blog/dear-every-cancer-patient-ever-took-care-sorry-get

Everyone who does Facebook has probably seen this but I just read the whole thing today. Very good stuff. Affirming. Validation of our views and feelings.

marijen

We should get an apology from each and every one of them. I’m tempted to email it to my doctors. Thanks jaycee.

VL22

wow - just wow. Thanks jaycee

Warrior2018

Wow. Thank you for sharing that. Now I just need to stop crying...

molliefish

Runor you can end the war. I know you know you can.

marijen

But then what would she do for entertainment? Maybe should should write a script? Runor the Playwrite!

Meow13

Speaking of belittling someone's afflictions. Did anyone see the video of the ER doctor going off on a young man suffering severe anxiety? I think she was assuming he was after drugs. How many of you guys had a doctor either not prescribe a pain med or give you an incredible small number. Personally, I can't handle most drugs prescribed for pain. I get really bad nausea, dizziness, vomiting and the dreaded constipation. When I got my cancer dx and had panic big time doctors were handing out lorazepam whatever I needed to get me through the rough 2 months ahead of me.

I would rather walk on hot coals then go to the ER. I hate that place, if I am there it is urgent.