Cancer Envy?

exbrnxgrl

jayatea,

I so understand the guilt thing, though from a different perspective. I am a very healthy person, save for the stage IV bc. I sometimes feel guilty that I look well (in a million years, you would never know I had any cancer, let alone stage IV) and lead pretty much the same life as I always did. I have never had IV chemo and rads were only to my bone met. Yes, I did have a bmx, recon and a collapsed lung after port installation (was going to have chemo when they thought I was stage IIB, but met was found and I went straight on Arimidex). I guess, we can all feel guilty about something, but I try not to let it get to me. After all, this is where I'm at right now. Do I envy lower stages? Heck yeah! Who wouldn't, but I never begrudge them their better prospects and hope they never have join me.

Loral,

Love the "poster". Sometimes, us New Yorkers (even after 25+ years in CA), can't keep our mouths shut! I'll keep working on it...

Caryn

jab

hmmm, this is an interesting thread.

The first time I went to Oncology all I saw was the very sick women, with no hair getting treatment. I was almost paralyzed with fear. I felt I couldn't possibly have 'that' kind of cancer, I was young and (I thought) healthy.

Today I am one of those kind of women, with no hair and getting treatment, and I am sure others see me and and feel what I felt that first day in Oncology.

Ladies, no matter what kind of cancer you have, it is not easy. I hope this thread helps as we each have our battles to fight and talking about it can only help.

wenweb

Jayaytea,  Thank-you for your response.  I agree with you!!  I am sorry that you were diagnosed with depression.  It is all too common as you stated, and I hope that you will seek help, and not try to just hang on until you feel better.  I did that for nearly 3 years until I finally knew I needed more help than what I was allowing myself.  I've been on an antidepressant for just over a year and I can't even begin to tell you how much difference it has made.  Take care of yourself!!

vbishop

Hi all -

Jay is correct as to the original intent of the thread.  However, somewhere along the way it took on a life on its own and a nasty turn. 

At the end of the day, we are all in this together.   There are experiences that we all have:  anxiety, depression, a much sharper awareness of our bodies....and the list goes on.  The best thing that has come out of this thread is that we are all in this club together.  We are here to respect one another, uplift one another, provide a shoulder to cry on or a safe place to vent, regardless of diagnosis, stage, or treatment.

Hugs to all for reading and providing insights.

exbrnxgrl

Yes, threads often veer off topic and take on a life of their own It's not always a bad thing but it is unfortunate when things get tense. As I said earlier, laughter is the best medicine!

vbishop

Well said, exbrnxgrl.  Well said!