STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

Shellshine

Oh Phylly and Mary - so glad things are going okay for you.

Very tiring day today - DH had his 4th ER visit this year yesterday and today is his third hospital admission - they're  keeping him for 2 days - intractable pain despite potent narcotics When I took him to the ER his blood alcohol was also high. hI didn't even know there was alcohol in the house.  I seem to be handling everything fine - just very very tired. Tomorrow I'm going to stay home and try to get caught up on everything so I'm ready for work next week - will visit DH at dinnertime - he said no problem - feels bad that this has been so hard on me. I will sleep GOOD tonight!

(edited - TMI)

juliaanna

Shells, Sorry to hear of your difficulties. You have enough on your plate getting ready to start your job. Hope the doc and your DH find a solution to his problems soon. Enjoy your night alone.

Chevyboy

Morning gals....  Sorry Shells....  I understand.  You know, my Mom once rounded up all of Dad's bottles she could find.... From the house, the little shed, and their garage...  And she emptied them all, and threw the bottles in the trash.  She had just HAD it.

But it didn't stop my Dad from drinking....  All his promises to her, the AA meetings, etc.  it was just his life.  He drank since he was a kid.  HIS Dad used to take him to the bar with him, sit him on his lap, and give him drinks too. 

One time, while walking their dog, he started hemorrhaging.  From his nose, mouth, EVERYwhere!   After the hospital, he quit smoking, but not drinking.....  My folks stayed together for all their lives.....  Moved away from our "home" when I was 18 and engaged. 

So I didn't have to be around them and their problems after I grew up.  Visits were enough.

I'm just saying this, because I know how you feel....  You love them and yet you hate the way they are.  All you can do is take care of yourself and your Son.   I don't know very many people who go through that dark place, and come out with a sober husband.

So it's hard for me to believe that it's a "disease"....  To me, a disease is something like cancer, or diabetes, etc.  Something you can't control.  I always resented my Dad, for putting us all through hell.  All he had to do is STOP.  You can stop smoking, and drinking, but you can't stop cancer or diabetes. 

Just take care of yourself.... Love your husband for what you want him to be... And Love the beautiful times you will still have together...  Then when you smack him over the head with a cast-iron skillet, you won't feel so bad....

Hang in there, and take good care.... xooxoxo

One Counselor told me "It is called a disease so Insurance companies will cover treatment."  I don't know if he was right or not, but it didn't make ME feel any better. 

It just tears apart families... 

4sewwhat

Shells, hope you got a good rest and thing settle down. My DH is out of own and it was nice to het the whole bed to stretch out in! Good luck with the new job too.

Chevyboy

camillegal

OK first Good Morning to all---and someone decode what Shell said I don't get this number stuff and what happened to be in the hospital, I thought things were better. He's acted better.

32 diludad, 190 whatever intractble pain, I honestly don't get it. But Shell get a chance to rest and get together for u'r job next week--Nothing is going to stop u--u've worked to hard for this.Living with this is horrible I only did it for a short time, thelast time he had a knife at my neck that was enough for me, I just can't take uneven times. And I have a hard time thinking about the confusion it is, so splain what those #'s are.

duckyb1

My father "step father"........(great guy)..,,,,did the same thing.........finally got very sick and was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and died..........horrible death..........so sad........drinking and "camel cigarettes" took him from us............how do you help someone who does not want to help themselves.........you can't..........

IllinoisLady

Hopelessly behind but wanted to say hi and hoping all your problems if large are on their way to being small.

Lilli

ChickaD

Blessings for patience Miss Shells!



Miss Veggy...how are you doing my friend? Check in when you can.



Love ♥ to everyone else!

Anonymous

I'm okay. I had chemo Monday  so I feel a little tired. I guess that's normal anymore. I have to go pee in a cup today to se if the UTI is cleared up. It looks like it.

My father and uncle would take me fishing with them when I was 2. They would both have their beer next to them. I would be wandering arounding and drinking their beers. They would go and try to drink their beer only to find the bottle empty. They'd blame each other until they saw me staggering. It's a wonder I'm not an alcoholic. I had an early start.

Teka

I still crave cigarettes even though I quit 20+ years ago.  

Any addiction is a pisser!

camillegal

Veggy check in whenever u can and mary too---we're all caring about u.

Chickieboomboom how are YOU doing with the hookers blood that new to you but probably been around a lot of blocks do u feel any urges or just better. Is the pole still up in u'r bedroom?

gardengumby

Shells - sorry to hear about your troubles.  Is part of his drinking self-medication for pain, or would he be drinking anyway?  Anyway, I hope things settle down for you.

GMA - don't compare yourself to your sis.  She's not you.  We all know people who seem like they've got the world by the tail (to us).  If we could peak inside their brains, they could easily be thinking that we're the ones who have the world by the tail and they are in a pit of adversity.  We really don't know what's happening on the inside, we just get appearances - even when it's someone close to us.

sas-schatzi

Shells sorry more shit. When DH was in the phase of not remembering what and how much he took of pills. I put all controlled substances in a fanny pack--even mine. A little book that I wrote what and when and pain score. My drivers license, insurance cards(both his and mine), one credit card, keys, choas key chain(one house key and one car key). I wore the fanny pack day and night. DH couldn't get at them. It also made for easy quick hospital trips. Plus, I kept his bag packed. We could bug out in under 15 minutes. Got it down to a science.

Gumby, so much in the next few weeks. Hope it all falls into place. If you hit Florida , keep me in mind. Maybe the bathroom will be done and I can actually have visitors. We could get together with Spookie and her new CAR!

The contact dermatitis seems to be abating. Waited on the prednisone dose pak to see if it would. Still hoping. 

Veggy and Mary and Blondie feel better

sas-schatzi

Chevy, Like your seashell mobils. Any chance I could buy one? Perfeat for around the pool. I would love the tinkling Saw a docs name today Chevilette and thought you'd get a kick out of that.

Cami tanks for all the encouragement to me and to others. Your our "spirit person"(shut up Chevy.

Spookiesmom

Sas we might get visitors? That aren't relatives???? Can that happen here????



Woooohoooo GG!!! Come on down!!

Chevyboy

Hi gals....

Sass, they take a million years to make!  Could you make yourself a shell hanging if I posted pictures of mine, and told you what I used?    I used that "shoe goo" from Walmart... this clear glue in a red and white tube.....  It dries clear, and holds everything.  And I used fishing line, and clear beads tied onto the line, then glued the bead with line onto the shell, spaced however you wanted them.   They really do sound pretty! 

I made one with a big shell my Daughter had sent, and used the line and little shells scattered over the shell, and it hangs in our bathroom.....  Also I glue the tiny shells onto lids of jars that hold "stuff" and some of my creams.

 Cammi is a WHAT?  Is she an Alien of some sort?  Ha!   Over at my neighbors house, watching the baby sleep.... and using their HUGE Apple computer screen, and wireless keyboard and mouse!  See Cammi!  I even figured it out....    Man, this computer is amazing!

Okay.... better go look busy....!  I'll go watch the chickens!  xoxoxo

ChickaD

Miss Cami....still feeling good...just a little headache from the Herceptin!

marywh

Had a busy day today. Talked dh into buying an suv instead of a pick-up. Its a really nice little Kia Sorento, its a little bigger than my Rav 4 and is really all he needs since he still has his van. Much better on gas than a big-ass pick-up. But he seems happy with it, so Im happy for him.AND its fun to drive!Also found ds an old Camaro, still trying to work a deal on that one, having it checked out cause its a 95 model but it is so pretty,so I hope it will work out for him too.

camillegal

Mary good luck for u'r Son and an SUV makes so much more sense than a truck--so good for u.

Chevy wait u can see u'r neightbors house inside--Now what u going to start stealing babies??? Isn'there a privacy issue    u have to deal with.? Someone has to watch u all the time.

Sas I'm glad u'r a litte better--wow this takes a while--Like Chevy it's alot.

IllinoisLady

What my little guy Baby boss looks like when he gets his hair cut:

Hope you are all having a good day.....and that Chevy and Cammi are behaving.

Lilli

marywh

He is adorable.

IllinoisLady

Thank you Mary....he is a Pomeranian....they are decended, believe it or nor from Chows.  Boss ( as I think most Poms  do ) follows me around everywhere.....they only want to be with you mainly.  In the Bathroom, in the Kitchen, in your lap if you sit down.  Now and then its tiresome but the loyalty is outstanding so I forgive.  In summer we keep his hair very short...they are double coated....so he gets very hot even though he is just a 11 lb. dog. 

Lilli

camillegal

Oh Lilli u'r firbaby is beautiful, and wants so much love--how sweet I would love tt.. I'm lucky my Katie-Kat is a cuddler but not like that

GmaFoley

I love fur babies but had some bad juju with poms as a child. Yours looks like a sweety pie!



Well Doc now thinks the dizzy and nausea is Gerd caused by being nauseous for so long. Probably brought on by stress from the activities of the last month. Put me on Prilosec for 2 weeks.

camillegal

Gerd??? Hmmmm Well try what he says and see what happens.

IllinoisLady

GMA -- my dh has that.  What you eat affects it, but a major part of his se's were the lightheadedness he could have ( usually in the afternoon ) and the skipped heartbeats and he felt exhausted a lot of the time.    He was put on Omeprezole daily.  I think it is the generic form of Prilosec.  We get his at WalMarts and it is not too costly there. 

He has run out and not replaced it ( men, they get mule-headed about things ) thinking since he felt better......he was better, only to find in a day or two that he had to go out and replace the medicine.  He seems to do fine as long as he keeps on taking the medicine....which is why I think at his age 74 it really is going to be something he will do for the rest of his life. 

Lilli

camillegal

Lili Interesting, I have gerd, but I've never noticed dizzyness. but then again I'm on so mny meds who knows what makes me dizzy, so I would no associate being dizzy with that, but I'had it before they called it Gerd hahaha so I probably didn't pay attention that much. I hope this will solve u'r problem GMA.

Shellshine

Today I had a much needed day of respite - staying home alone cleaning my house from top to bottom. I have not seen it so messy and dirty in years and years, since my son was a baby

The past 5 days DH's pain has been out of control - not his baseline neuropathic pain, which is managed with narcotics, but severe, unrelenting nerve pain from recent  fracture and surgery. I think the last 5 days he took so much pain medication he was not functioning rationally - then started in on alcohol in desperation.  I didn't realize about the alcohol -  I was feeding, bathing and trying to do comfort measures, after a few days Of worsening I toook him to the ER. En toute I finally got telephone contact with his excellent pain mgt MD, and she said ER was appropriate.  The next day at follow-up we learned that in the  ER his alcohol blood level was very high, and he could easily have had respiratory arrest. He was admitted for pain mgt, and his team is trying to come up with a plan - worried about prescribing opioids with alcohol use -  he could die. He's still in pain, but said I should get some rest today.  His baseline pain is gone but surgical site pain is still bad. I'm at home cleaning, resting and on the phone with the VA to see if there is a residential treatment program that can care for him until his pain is figured out. I told him to ask for a nerve block.

So that's what happened. I've been living with his poor health for so many years - it's too hard for me to abandon someone I love dearly. A new friend, BC survivor, goes to this great Al-Anon mtg at the beach - so I'm going with her this weekend. Since this thread is on the internet, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable, and may edit this post after a couple of days.

Teka

I live in a small town in the North Country, and have always been guarded about my privacy.   I still fear someone will figure out who I am.   I've deleted many many posts!