DIEP 2013
Comments
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You are an amazing group of women. You have been through so much yourselves and are still amazingly supportive about this.
I have tried to help others go through treatment but this is different. I am looking forward to the day that I can tell some scared woman that it will be ok. -
Good afternoon
SBE...that baby is perfect and beautiful. Congradulations.
There are so many tshirt ideas, and I am not one who will make the final decision. We will have to vote somehow. I gather anything with DIEP is out, Pink Ribbons are out, but we do like a feminine tshirt. So, how about something only we will understnad, but that's okay. On the front it can say, "Where there's a Wilbur there's away, and on the back it can just say "Towanda" It's plain and simple, and we all understand. Now, we could put a Pink Ribbon on the back and Towanda could be written on the pink ribbon. That is my idea, since I really haven't made any except the more feminine tshirt idea. Just because there is a pink ribbon doesn't mean it's because "you" have breast cancer. it just brings awareness to the cause of breast cancer every time somebody sees one, and I don't think that is a bad thing.
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I am okay with that idea, Goldie.
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Jeannie.... I could feel the fluid start building in my abdomen a few days after drains removed. It was sore. Then, I could see a ridge build up along my scar line. Shortly after that, the first hole appeared in my scar. Looking back, since I was such a tight tummy tuck, they should have lowered my drain removal standards or drained the build up. The amount if build up I had was not much, but I didn't have ANY spare room. I wish they had thought this thru better. Then I wouldn't be where I am now.
I would call PS if you notice buldgeing. It's better to be proactive.
Btw... My belly button. Has improved sooo much in appearance and it a lot smaller, but it is still off center. I thnk I've always been off when I think about it. I remember that when I was pregnant. -
I have been out for a few weeks, trying to limit my life being taken over by my BC. I know you all understand. However, I'm pages and pages (like 80 pages) behind on posts. So, Im not able to read them all. Just know that I think of you ladies often. Those who have finished (you are my inspiration and goal), those who are post Stage 1 and looking forward to Stage II (my sisters in recovery) and those waiting or planning (my seeds I want to nourish with encouragement).
When I decided to take 'a break' from all this, I was in the throws of "they should not be allowed to do this to people". I was struggling with pain, 7-8 wks post op. I still have open wounds that were not healing well. I still had sweeling that was horribly uncomfortable. Although on the outside, to the world, I had my chin up and my "I'm GREAT," face on, I was falling apart inside. Coming here every day, or even every week, was both feeding my depression and giving me boost (you guys are awesome). But, I didn't want to bring others down with my depression. So, I took a break.
I want to speak to those behind me, who have not yet had their surgeries, or have just had them.......Please go into this knowing it is hard. You will have varying levels of pain. You will have bad days. You will be cranky, at times. You may feel it was not worth it, at times. I was the worst in this department. You may even have failure in the procedure, itself. I am, and always have been, a very very slow healer. I had failed TE and implants due to seroma. I had post op infections with my implant exchange. I have had my share of complications. No DIEP complications, just slow healing. I'm sure my incisions will eventually heal. But, like every other wound in my life, it will take twice as long as the average person.
What I want you to KNOW is that, in spite of all of this, in spite of the pain, the tears, the depression, I do believe that this was the right procedure for me. I do believe it will have the best cosmetic result for me. I do believe it is do-able for any woman who has the courage to undergo the procedure. I KNOW that the women on this forum are some of the strongest women I know. I am blessed to be a part of this group. My taking a break was not a reflection of the women on this forum, but an attempt by me to 'get away', to 'escape' my BC for awhile.
I also want you to know that some women don't have such a hard time. Others will tell you their journey was easier, or harder. There are no guarantees.
This weekend I have recommitted to my health, my life, my diet and exercise, and my faith.
Someone mentioned t-shirts. I wear a T-shirt that says on the front, in a small area like a name tag would be: "Hug a Survivor" with a small pink ribbon. On the back: "Breast Cancer is not all pink ribbons and long walks" with a light pink ribbon background. I wear it on days I'm feeling like a train wreck, when I feel like people just don't understand what is going on behind closed doors.
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SheChirple, thanks for a very emotional and moving message. You are an inspiration to many of us who are just starting the DIEP journey.
This evening I am visiting with son #1 (I have 3), DIL, and 3 grandchildren. I also have another grandchild from son #2. I think one of the hardest things for me will be not picking up the babies (15 months and 11 months). They are so adorable and I love being with them and like that they are getting to know me. So not picking them up and not being able to babysit them for 3 months will be very difficult. The other 2 are a bit older so picking them up is not an issue - they are too heavy to be picked up. Anyone else with this problem? -
Ladies, I will be okay with whatever you want on the t-shirt. It just represents the support everyone provides in this group.
I would like to know what drain levels were required before your PS would remove them. I have one left and want to make sure I keep it long enough!
hrf, I would do this again in a heartbeat. Yes, one of the fellows on the PS team said I would feel like I had been hit by a truck the first couple of days. Then it would get better. He was right on, especially since I was on morphine. I wish I had known how much stronger the dilauded was. Maybe I could have met Wilbur!
We've all had other experiences that made us feel bad for a while. I feel so fortunate that I even found out about DIEP as it was not a serious recommendation, just a passing comment. I can tell you I did this for me, not my DH. He didn't want me to have to go through this surgery, but I wanted to. Only eight weeks with no breasts at all made me so appreciative of what I have now.
Okay, onward and upward! ...Julie
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Shechirple, I have been thinking about you! I'm glad you checked in with such an emotional and honest message! All the best to you.
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Enjoying everyone's comments today. Feeling a bit blue today. Hubby went kayaking (at my insistence) but wishing I could have gone. To anyone who is struggling, I'm right there with you sisters! Open wounds, delayed healing, tightness, pain, soreness.... Ugh. But this too shall pass. Stay strong! I love the saying; "not all pink ribbons and walks"!
Aubrey Rose is beautiful just like her name!
And introducing "Wilbur" Or at least the Wilbur I woke up to in the hospital. My niece got him at a Hallmark store if anyone wants one.
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Haha, Bluebird! I did picture Wilbur very much like that for some reason! I am with you on being discouraged and in my case emotional today. I just don't like this swelling on the left side of my tummy even though my hubs says the incision looks great. I'm tired of doctors, appts., complications. I've been dealing with bc since 1/27/12. Not feeling very warrior-like today but I know I'll rally. A walk by the water will do me good.
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Questions : when can you drive ? As in how long after surgery? Pending no complications?
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Bailey and SheChirple thank you for all your reassuring words, and keeping it real. It really helps. HRF since I came home from the hospital I have mentally been where you are, questioning if this is all worth it. Thank goodness for the ladies here, DH and my mother for giving me daily reassurances or else I would go crazy.
mccrimmon my radiated skin is a bit red and my PS told me that it is normal and expected for that skin to turn red and flake/peel. Not sure if that is like what you are describing. Glad you are going to see your PS tomorrow so you can find out for sure.
jlbloom, my PS requires < 30 cc drainage in 24 hours before she will remove a drain.
Bluebird, your Wilbur is adorable! I love him!
My stomach has felt kind of sick and yucky for 2-3 days now. I think it's from the antibiotic. I'm expecting my last drain to get pulled on Tuesday and I think after that I won't need the antibiotic anymore? I'm trying to eat a yogurt every day, not sure what else I can do to help my stomach... ugh...
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Jeannie, I think a walk by the water is in order for both of us. As soon as hubby gets home, he's going to take me out. I am getting cabin fever.
Christina, my stomach has been feeling kind of crummy lately. I'm not on any antibiotics. I've been blaming it on my "lack of expansion". My abdomen is so tight. It's almost like I had a stomach stapling done or something. Whenever I eat I feel even tighter and bloated. Too much pressure or something. But it's not gas either.
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Hi All,
I'm new to this. Was scheduled for BMX on Friday but keep changing my mind about what kind of reconstruction I want, so I think I will be cancelling it tomorrow. I just don't think I can handle implants and so now am considering the DIEP. Does anyone know a good experienced surgeon in the Chicago area? I don't think my surgeon does them regularly. thanks
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Not that it's a good thing to be where some of us are emotionally, it's nice to know I'm not alone!
She chirpier- thank you for such an honest, poignant post!
Sbe- such a beautiful baby!
Bluebird- he kinda fits the bill!
Has anyone else had bouts of feeling cold with no fever or other logical explanation. Then sometimes in the same day being so hot you are dripping sweat? Omg could this be because I've been off of the femara? I start back on it tomorrow. -
Krissy et al,
Had my skin sparing, nipple sparing, left umx with immediate DIEP reconstruction in January of 2012. So I am 20 months out from that initial surgery.
Choosing between a umx or a bmx is a very personal decision and also one that should be made with as much information as possible. If the choice is between removing or keeping a healthy breast with no risk factors then I believe the decision requires even more thought and information.
One of the members here on BCO has written a very thorough thought provoking document that is a good read for those facing this decision.
Her name is Beesie. If you search her name. December 14, 2012, and double mastectomy you will find it.
I'll try to post a link
community.breastcancer.org/forum/96/topic/797602?page=1#post_3338005
I do want to let you know that having bilateral DIEP reconstruction is not a guarantee of matching breasts. The surgeon is creating two separate breasts. And it is more than possible to have a DIEP reconstructed breast that looks like your natural breast. My surgery was skin sparing and nipple sparing. My reconstruction surgeon created my new breast with my DIEP flap by placing it inside my breast skin, areola, and nipple.
My surgeon did take a conservative approach regarding the survivability of my nipple and areola complex. He actually added a circular plank of skin to the left of my areola. If mine had failed post-op, he had this skin plank to create a new one.
Fortunately, I had success and did not lose that complex. So following recuperation, then 16 chemo treatments over about 5 months, then 28 radiation treatments, and a 7 month break ..... He removed a portion of that skin plank in April. And this coming Friday he will remove most, if not all, of the remaining plank. By doing it in stages, we are achieving the best outcome with minimal scarring. I will eventually have a single line scar to the left of my areola. (I have a very small scar under my arm from my partial axillary excision).
I am so glad that I had the choice and chose to retain my healthy breast with all of its sensation. If, somewhere down the line I were to have a new cancer found in that breast then I will deal with that then. And there are options that still do not include cutting muscle.
These are such huge decisions that each of us make. There is no one 'right' answer. I just urge you to really think it through, understand the studies regarding risk, and make an informed decision that you will be comfortable with.
Blessings!
Diana -
Shechirple, sorry you have been having a bad time. I understand why you felt you needed to step back for a while, but remember, when you are feeling low that's what we are here for. Don't ever suffer in silence if you don't have to. Glad you touched base, and I hope things start to look up.
Even with my expanders in I am not allowed to pick up my grandbabies. I hate it, and then after diep it will be another long time. At least they are getting old enough that I get them to crawl up next to me to snuggle.
Bluebird, "Wilbur" is awful cute. Chipmunk? Glad you figured out how to post a picture of him.
Map, there are a few ladies on here from the Chicago are. Your best bet is to google docs that do diep in Chicago. Living in the area you should know the more prestigious hospitals, Call the breast centers of the bigger hospitals. Research, read the reviews of these docs. Get on Realself.com and look for docs in the Chicago are that do recons, and read their reviews. Research their backgrounds, and credentials. I have heard a good diep doc should be doing 15 to 20 dieps a month. It's a lot to do when you are so stressed out. We are here if you need to talk.
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MAPBB,
I love my surgeons. Dr. Heidi Memmel - my breast surgeon and Dr. Loren Schechter - my reconstruction surgeon. Dr. Pavone assisted with a PA during my DIEP which was immediate during my mastectomy. They are associated with Lutheran General Hospital. Dr. Memmel is a cancer survivor herself. She actually was diagnosed when she was pregnant with her first child. She heads the Caldwell Breast Center there on the Lutheran General campus. Dr. Schechter is amazing!
You will receive so much support, encouragement and current information and the like right here, but I also urge you to
check out the Illinois Ladies thread. There's a wealth of support, encouragement, and brains to pick from and information pertaining to IL. And our experiences cover a LOT of hospitals and doctors too.
So sorry you are going through this. So many decisions to make so quick.
Diana
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There ya go, Map. I knew somebody would chime in with the info you needed. Sounds like a great place.
Bailey, which antidepressant is the one who take that helps with the hot flashes from tamoxifen?
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Goldie - I take 10 mg of Celexa in the morning (it keeps me awake if I take it at night!)
I take Femara, not Tamoxifen (since I am post menopause), but helped with hot flashes for either drug (I was on tamoxifen for a while prehysterectomy/oopherectomy). -
Shirple. So sorry for your pain. I can totally relate. I will be a 7 weeks on Wednesday and have a giant unsealed hole in my abdomen.
Tomorrow I go back to my teaching job. The kids come back on Wednesday. I'm nervous about doing those 3x day dressing changes, but I'm most nervous about the pain and fatigue. I'm working on emotionally getting my game face on and facing it all with a smile. As a psychologist wisely once told me, it's ok to lead a double life. My face to the world and my life in my head and on this forum. It's nice to have cyber friends even though I can't see or touch you or go out to lunch with you! -
I am just fatigued today, I guess. So bummed. I did manage to take my son shopping for senior pics / school clothes. Was supposed to go for a bike ride but couldn't stay awake...took a long nap!. Wth? What a waste. My neighbor called about borrowing some tables and wanted to know if I was ok because he hadn't seen me outside all weekend! I am pretty good at listening to my body but REALLY hate when it says, "REST".
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Goldie--effexor is an antidepressant that's frequently prescribed for hot flashes.
Shechirple--welcome back. We have missed you!
Thanks for all the compliments on Aubrey's photo. She's such a cutie, and her aunt is very much into photography. Yesterday auntie had a photo-shoot with a basket covered with a knitted blanket and naked Aubrey in it, ala Anne Geddes, and was madly snapping photos. Pretty soon there was a wet spot on the carpet. Apparently newborns are not housebroken.
No fever, no aches, no red spots. Bicycle rides yesterday and today. Life is SO good.
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8/14/13 Barbmal5 (Diep Stage 2)
8/15/13 Typewriterjenny (uniDiep)
8/15/13 hrf (delayed double Diep) Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto, ON
8/15/13 Tracy516 (BMX with Diep)This weeks ladies....safe surgeries and gentle healing to you all.
sbe...I deleted your Stage 2....I'm sure I read that it had been postponed, but don't remember the new date....let me know, and I'll ask the mods to revise you on our list.
sherry....and ANYONE struggling with healing and recovery....we are ALL different, with different bodies, states of health, etc. going into the surgery, it is both impossible and unfair to yourself to try to measure your recovery "pace" with anyone else. Where ever you are in your healing, is where you are meant to be.....eventually, we all heal and get on with life. There are NO MEDALS given out for being the fastest healer, or the one who felt the least amount of pain.
shechirple....good to hear from you..and I totally "get" the need to step away a bit. Again....no one gets prizes for the most posts! We are here when you need us, we understand when life "turns" your needs into other things. I've hardly posted for several weeks, because I'm busy doing some other stuff, doesn't make me less or more a part of this group...it's just where I'm at!
Hope you all had good days......Hugs to all!!!!!!!!!!
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My doctor changed my Paxil for Effexor back in February to help me with the hot flashes but it really hasn't changed.
I've done so much better today. I had the most lazy day just laying in bed and doing nothing. Then I found a little white poodle in my back yard and decided to walk the neighborhood with the dog trying to find his owner. I'm so sad because I didn't find anybody that knew the dog and I can't really keep him. I put some water and food outside for him and if I see him tomorrow I'll take him to the vet clinic and see if he's microchipped.
Go to the ps in the morning to get my gloobs drained and really hoping everything will go ok.
You ladies have a good restful night. -
Thanks, SBE and Bailey for the names of the anti depressants. I have a woman on the facebook forum that is having some bad side effects from the tamoxifen.
SBE...so glad to hear you are back to your old self. I see an electric razor, or laser hair removal in your future. Hehehehehe
I was trying to come up with a positive thing that happend today, and it was hard because my back has been out for days, but here goes....The season opener of Breaking Bad was on, and it's something my husband and I actually enjoy watching together.
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Guys,
Has anybody have a stitch start to poke through. I think it's a stitch. It's doesn't hurt, but is is prickly and poking through right by the middle of my healed incision. I am assuming I should leave it alone till I see my PS again, but it feels weird. I found it when I was massaging my my bio oil.
As you can see I am up again. I think my tshirt should say "Up all night, just me and my foobs."
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Hi Goldie - The stitch sounds familiar. I had a couple of stitches poking through, and when I called my PS he said there was nothing to worry about, but advised me not to touch them, because you don't know how long they are and pulling may do more harm than good.
So I had them pulled at his office, but and they were teeny. There was nothing below the surface. But still - leave it to the professionals -
Goldie I had that happened before. My ps said to have DH pull it and if it didn't come out to just cut it against skin. Theyre all dissolve able stitches. I have some poking through right now, but since I'm going to go see him in the morning I'll just have him so it.
As you can see I'm up too. Having to sleep with this compression is not easy at all!! -
Goldie.. Don't pull! I did from my Gallbladder.. Was an inch long and hurt AND was a year later!!!
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